Chapter 3
CHAPTER 3
K ash paused at the bottom of the stairs, frowning as she caught the familiar scent of chai and something crisp and fried.
A glance outside showed the typical Portland drizzle, the sky a dull gray pressing against the windows. But inside, the air felt... inviting.
Tia was perched in the cozy armchair in the living room, face buried in a graphic novel. The soft light from the lamp caught the golden-brown strands in her thick curls. For the hundredth time, Kash wondered how her extroverted sister had given birth to such a quiet, focused child.
Diego stood by the stove, the sleeves of his blue button-down pushed up corded forearms, arranging delicate teacups neatly onto a floral tray. Her eyes greedily traversed the length of the dark red rose tattoo snaking around his forearm, the way the button-down hugged his broad back. She jerked her gaze up before it lingered on how the blue denim hugged his ass.
A brown paper bag with telltale grease spots sat on the island.
Samosas, from that little hole-in-the-wall place that she loved.
A thread of dismay curled through her at how thoughtful he continued to be toward her. And now, there was that little moment upstairs...
“They’re for you,” he said, without turning around. “Instead of salivating, you could just eat them.”
Kash gripped the banister as if it were her last defense, but it was a losing battle. She went to the table, nearly tore into the greasy bag, and shoved a hot onion samosa into her mouth.
It was crunchy and spicy and pumped new life into her veins. Moaning, she bit down on another one before she finished swallowing the first.
“You miss too many meals.”
Kash glanced up just as Diego turned.
The large windows behind him filtered weak evening light onto his face, catching the faint sheen of sweat on his skin.
Large brown eyes, a sharp nose, broad cheekbones and thick, lush lips that accentuated the rugged slashes of everything else about him. Warmth uncurled in her lower belly as her gaze snagged on the hollow at his throat.
One sharp moment of awareness and her entire world was off its axis now. The man was far too gorgeous, and she was far too deprived of touch.
“Thank you,” she said, burying her gaze in the torn paper bag. Satisfaction filled her as she noted there were two samosas left. She shoved it into the refrigerator.
His soft chuckle behind her made her skin warm even as her brain spluttered at how to navigate this new minefield.
Putting the island between them, she scrolled to the calendar on her phone. They had been co-parenting for three and a half years. And now, looking at him felt like staring straight at the sun. What the hell was she going to do? “I thought you had her until tonight. Did I miss something?”
“Tia had a... moment at the birthday party.”
Before he could say more, her niece came running into the kitchen and threw her arms around Kash’s knees.
Chest tight, she bent down and picked Tia up. Locking her arms and legs tight around her, Tia clung to her. “Hey bachha,” Kash said, burying her face in Tia’s hair. The scent of lavender from her shampoo instantly calmed her.
Kash cast a look at Diego when Tia remained silent but he, of infinite patience, shook his head. Silently urging his daughter to speak up.
Finally, Tia loosened her grip. “My friend Sheena said there was an accident near her house.”
Tears crowded Kash’s throat. Fortunately, Tia had been too young to remember the details of the accident that stole her mother, but the word ‘accident’ continued to linger in her mind. Kash squeezed the girl’s slender frame and struggled against her own grief. “Baby, you know that Sheena lives like ten miles from here, yeah? As you saw, I was safe under the blankets, snoring away like our friend Patrick.”
Tia giggled at the mention of her favorite cartoon show. “You like him better than SpongeBob,” she said, switching gears like only a nine-year-old could.
“Of course I do. He lives under a rock, eats his friends’ food, and spends his days lolling around and playing. I aspire to be as content as Patrick Star.”
“You’re silly, Kash Aunty,” Tia said, wriggling out of her hold. Her eyes flickered to her dad and back. “I’m sorry for barging into your room.”
“It’s okay, baby,” Kash said. “Next time, just knock, yeah?”
Tia nodded. “Can I go ask Sam if he wants to play?”
“Only in their house,” they both shouted in unison.
Exhaling roughly, Kash turned to Diego. “She’s okay?”
“I think she is now. She begged to go back and check on you.” He gripped his neck, and the hesitation tugged at something in her. When he looked up, his brown eyes were solemn. “Earlier, I barely unlocked the door and got my shoes off when she ran past me. I called to let you know that we were on our way but?—”
“I turned off my phone,” Kash said, cheeks heating.
“Right, I’m sorry that we…disturbed you. I know you’ve been looking forward to the day off.”
“How do you know that?” she said, getting lost in the intensity of his gaze.
Diego looked as shocked as she felt at the personal ground she was skating into. That was no man’s land between them.
“Never mind. If she needs to see me, she needs to see me,” Kash said, opening the lid on one of the dishes and sniffing. Her stomach grumbled at the delicious pasta while her mind revolted at ceding a little more ground to the enemy.
He wasn’t her enemy, but God, the lines between them were blurring fast.
“You do know I’m capable of feeding her, right?”
“I like cooking for you two,” he said, with an ease that made her skin prickle.
Kash stared, mesmerized by his large hands.
He poured the chai into two cups, stirred powdered jaggery into one of them, and then brought the tray to the dining table as if it was the most natural thing in the world for him to serve her.
As if he belonged in her kitchen, her house, her life.
She wanted to protest but she wanted the chai, and she desperately wanted his company for a few minutes. Nothing but a basic human need, she reassured herself.
Curling her fingers around the cup, she inhaled deep. The smell of ginger and cardamom curled around her as she took a sip. “This is heaven,” she said, keeping her eyes down. “Again, thank you.”
Of course, her traitor eyes found something else to feast on.
The shadow of his defined pecs under the shirt. Those long, elegant fingers. That little notch at the base of his throat. The slight indent in his chin.
God, was she really storing snapshots of her niece’s dad for when she tried to get herself off next time? Heat crept up her neck.
His eyes sharpened. “What’s wrong?”
She choked on the cracker she shoved into her mouth. Her cough was painful with the damned cracker lodged right in her throat.
Diego moved like lightning. One arm beneath her breasts, he thumped her upper back. The cracker dislodged, tears filling her eyes. Her breath barely returned before other sensations zoomed in.
His fingers grazing too close to the curve of her breasts, his corded arm against her ribs, the press of his chest against her upper back, his warm breath on the nape of her neck. He was all muscled warmth and Kash felt as if she was parched earth sighing at the rain.
Her breathing slowed as the air around them turned thick and charged. She tilted her head to the side, collided with his gaze, and knew without question that he felt it too. That it was too late to turn this awareness off.
His nostrils flared as he said, “You okay?”
The whisper of his exhale against her ear made her shiver but she nodded.
He straightened slowly, retreating just enough to give her space. As if he was waiting to hold her again.
The silence stretched, the drizzle outside a charged backdrop. Every inch of her body tingled with fleeting pleasure and she wanted was more. More of what made her body and senses feel gloriously alive.
Finally, he went back to his chair, his movements a little too precise.
“So,” he said, “about this Cancun trip.”
Kash wanted to kiss him for pushing them through the awkward silence. “What about it?”
“I’d like to tag along.”
She blinked. Feigning nonchalance when reckless butterflies took flight in her belly was a whole another skill chain. “Oh? Planning a vacation?”
“I’ll be traveling in January for a few weeks. This way, I can give Tia some quality time and you get extra time with your friends.”
Her pulse was still pounding from being surrounded by his hard warmth seconds ago. Her breasts ached to be crushed against that broad chest.
A week in Cancun in proximity with him... was a very bad idea. But he was right that it would give her time to focus on DP.
She traced the rim of her cup, strangely hesitant about sharing her plan for the holiday. Only, it brought the blurred lines between them into sharper contrast. In the large scheme of things, they would have to be around each other’s romantic/sexual partners. So why did it feel like it was wrong to mention another man’s name?
God, she was fucked in the head. “That’s a great idea,” she finally mumbled.
His dark eyes flared. “It is?”
“I can send you the details about the child-friendly resort we’ll be at. It’s connected to the resort where all the couples are staying.”
A muscle twitched in his jaw. “Couples?”
“Yes, it’s Mona and Dom’s twenty-fifth anniversary celebrations. There will be six to seven couples and all sorts of couples-only activities. My initial plan was to spend the afternoons with Tia. If you’re there, Mom can have evenings off.”
“Right,” he said, twisting the delicate teacup in his tall, elegant fingers. “Are you bringing anyone?”
This time, Kash caught the tension beneath the casual query.
Heat rushed up under her skin as her mind supplied images of them together in some monstrous bed at the luxury resort. Of giving herself over into his capable hands and clever fingers. Of her writhing beneath him as he got her off, over and over.
When everything else in her life felt like a long, empty hallway she was trudging through, why did she feel this keen awareness of him? Why this wicked thrill in her chest at letting him think she was considering this...madness between them?
It was petty. Definitely unhealthy. And yet, she couldn’t care.
Thick forearms slid further on the table as he leaned forward. The earthy scent of his sweat filled her nostrils. “I know it’s been a long dry spell, Kash.” His voice turned into a low rumble that danced down her spine. “If you ask nicely, I might agree to be your plus one. So that you don’t miss out.”
Chin jerking up, Kash stared at him. “You what?”
His light brown eyes shone with caustic humor. “I said I’ll take pity on you since I’ll be there already. As long as there’s no touching involved.” He tugged his lower lip between his teeth, making her want to jump him right there. “Unless you really need me to and that might involve begging.”
Her pulse spluttered. “You want me to beg you to be my pretend date on the trip to Cancun?”
“Begging required only if you want me to touch you. Pretend or otherwise.”
“I wouldn’t beg if you were the last man on earth and we have to fuck three times a day to repopulate the planet,” she bit out.
He leaned back, a wicked-sharp smile curving his lips. A thick lock of hair fell forward onto his forehead. “That’s very specific for something you refuse to do.”
Heat crested her cheeks like a tidal wave. “Don’t need your pity. I already have someone in mind.” She let her own smile bloom. “Which is why your offer to spend time with Tia is a godsend. I can devote myself to him fully.”
She waited, with a racing pulse, for him to ask who it was. Seconds piled on. Rain thrashed against the windows. Air stretched between them, tight and thin as a wire. He held her gaze, something dark simmering just beneath the surface, though he didn’t let it spill.
Every inch of her ached with that swell of frustration and need.
“Is Tia going to meet him?”
Pushing away her teacup and the cookie plate with too much force, Kash folded her arms. She felt like a teenager who’d been caught watching pervy videos in class. “She probably won’t. But even if she does, I trust him.”
“You could hire a gigolo for all I care, Kash. The point isn’t whether he’s a good man.”
“What then?” she demanded, responding to his irascible tone.
“Are you going to expose Tia to someone that soon in the relationship?”
“Do you expect me to hide all potential boyfriends from her?” she retorted. Even though she had no intention of inviting a man into her life for anything more than sex, ever again.
“What do you think I’ve been doing?” Diego said calmly.
A hot pool of jealousy filled her chest, viscous and ugly. Had he already met someone special? Or was he playing the field?
God, she was such a fool to think he was pining over her. The attraction was there, of course. But there was no doubt he probably had scores of young, willing, sweet women to keep his bed warm.
In contrast, she was a decade older than him, was his daughter’s aunt, and had more than a few control issues. The thought pricked deep and hard—to think of herself as some over-the-hill shrew—but she wasn’t going to shy away from the truth.
“It’s my high-school boyfriend,” she said, tears scratching at her throat. She’d never felt so alone in her life. God, she needed her friends, badly. “DP raised his younger siblings since he was nineteen. He’s as decent as they come. For the first time in our lives, we’re both free. Enough details for you?”
Diego’s features tightened. “This sounds like more than a holiday hook-up. How long have you been seeing him?”
“What?”
That facade of calm shattered when he thrust his hand roughly through the short waves of his hair. “Of course, you considered how a new man in your life would affect Tia. For a second there, I forgot you’re a walking, talking paragon of virtue.”
“The fact that Tia remains my first priority incenses you. Why?” Her skin prickled at whatever he was putting out. “Is it because you have someone in your life that doesn’t want Tia? Or is that you’re discovering that she cramps your bachelor playboy lifestyle?”
Devilish mockery danced in his eyes. “Are you asking me about my love life, Kash?”
“I know that all these magazine and podcast interviews and PR stunts you do about the soccer academy, she’s never mentioned in anything. Clearly, it works for you to hide the fact that you have a daughter from the world.”
“So you’ve been keeping tabs on how I conduct myself?”
“Of course not.”
“If you want an explanation for my choices, you have to ask me, Kash. Treat me as a person who has a place in your life.” He exhaled roughly before saying, “If you’re considering a long-term relationship with this ex, we need to talk.”
“About what?”
“About making my position in Tia’s life official.”
When she opened her mouth, he raised a hand. “After three years, I hoped you’d see that Tia’s everything to me. But Muriel’s right that you’ll never trust me. So, before you bring another man into this circus, I want us to sign papers that we share Tia’s custody. My lawyer will contact you after the Cancun trip.” A scoff escaped his shapely lips. “You can count on me to keep Tia occupied while you romance your new man.”
With the same ease that grated on her nerves in all the wrong ways, he gathered the teacups and the plates.
Kash stared blindly into the rain as he stacked the dishwasher. Then, as he passed by, he stilled behind her for long, silent moments.
Her heart thundered in her chest. She felt the light brush of his fingers against the nape of her neck before he closed the door behind him.
For the rest of the night, Kash rubbed her neck, the echo of his touch burning against her skin.