Chapter 14
CHAPTER 14
K ash closed her eyes and clung to Diego, his whispered promise draining the fatigue from her limbs. First with her mother, and now, with Josh, he had not only stayed by her side but fought for her.
It was a dizzyingly liberating feeling, not to have to stand alone. Not to have to choke down everything—every hurt, pinch and resentment—so that she didn’t lose the ability to keep standing, to keep doing what needed to be done. A binding even, as if his words that she’d never be alone again were a vow between them.
She felt safe, protected, for the first time since their dad had abandoned them decades ago. As if her world wouldn’t collapse if she faltered.
Arms around his waist, she buried her face in his neck. Shameless since he probably assumed she was still upset over Josh’s visit, but she didn’t care. She loved the sensation of his breath ghosting along her hair, of his broad palm clasping her shoulder, the rain and spice scent of him sinking into her pores.
Outside the study, she could hear Kaif and her mother’s low murmurs. “Tell them to go away,” she whispered, knowing that she was being selfish. They were probably worried about her. But one wrong word from her mother could ruin this security she knew with Diego. “Please.”
He nodded and said something through the crack of the door. She heard footsteps retreat and the blessed stillness returned.
“I’ll let go in two minutes,” she mumbled into his shirt. His heartbeat was a steady pulse under her ear, reminding her she had no right to hold him like this. That he was a decent man who probably felt sorry for her. That she couldn’t get used to this feeling of leaning on him, all the time.
Slowly, she pulled back, until her chin rested against his shoulder. “Can we not count this moment, this excessive clinging, as a data point in our relationship?”
He scoffed. “Oh, there are no data points in our relationship,” he said. “In fact, there’s no relationship at all, remember? Whatever happens between us—every kiss, every blowjob, even the sex—it’s all happening in a parallel universe. And never the two shall merge.”
The words landed like slaps, even though they were her own words. Her rules. Her lines.
Stupid of her to be hurt.
She cleared her throat, dragging her head back to reality. “Clever of you to drop the Collins & Emsworth name. I know they charge thousands an hour.”
“I wasn’t joking,” he said flatly.
She blinked and looked at him. “How can you afford them?”
“Sorry to break it to you like this, but I’m kind of a fucking millionaire, Kash,” he said drily enough that she stared at him. “I played for some of the big leagues like Liga del Sol and Grand Futbol Elite. Muriel invested every dime I made from day one. I never have to work a day if I don’t want to.”
She stared at him, stunned. The high forehead, the sharp nose, and the lush mouth, his profile was as familiar to her as her own. “But all the fundraising for the soccer academy,” she mumbled.
“I want to build it into a self-sufficient non-profit org at some point. I want scholarships for underprivileged youth, funding for travelling to games, insurance and other benefits for the employees.” He thrust a hand through his hair. “It makes no financial sense just to keep sinking my own funds into it. That won’t sustain the academy.”
Kash rubbed a finger over her temple. “I feel so stupid for not realizing the scope of what you’re building.”
“You should,” he said, a thin thread of bitterness in his tone. “Although I’m not surprised. You basically thought I was a bum.”
“That’s unfair,” she said, cheeks heating.
“Why do you think I offered to pay for Tia’s private school and those expensive extracurriculars? Kat was supposed to switch to the credit card I gave her for Tia’s expenses and her own, weeks before the accident.”
“I paid it all off.”
“I know,” he said, the two words carrying a hell of displeasure. “That wasn’t supposed to be your burden too. But those initial months after the accident, I didn’t want to make an issue out of it. And later, every time I brought up Tia’s expenses, you got defensive.”
Kash caught his hand and trapped it between hers. “I’m sorry for acting like that. But I swear, Diego, it was my fault more than yours. I’ve spent most of my life having no one to count on. And you were right, even two years after the accident, I kept looking up, expecting you to be gone. To abandon me. Because, honestly, if you wanted Tia, you could have taken her from me.”
“I never saw it like that,” he said, now sounding truly angry. “Tia loves you. I have to be a blind asshole to not see you made all the important decisions in her life even when Kat was alive.”
Resignation filled her as she leaned her back against the wall. How could she have taken so long to recognize what he was truly made of? “I acted like an uncaring bitch toward you.”
“You were grieving, lost.”
She laughed and he finally looked at her. Probably worried that she was losing it but thank God. She brought the back of his hand to her mouth and kissed the spot. “I could say it a thousand more times and it wouldn’t be enough. Thank you for being there.”
He gave her a stiff nod before untangling his hand from hers.
She swallowed the dismay that filled her and rooted around for something to say. “You’re right. I’ve probably gone overboard with Tia. Piano, golf, robotics...But I promise you. If she wants to give up most of them as she discovers her likes, I won’t pressure her.”
He chuckled softly. “It’s all the stuff you wanted to try as a girl. Tia’s lucky to have you.”
“How do you know that?” she whispered.
“Told you a million times, Doc. I find you interesting.” His voice was quieter now, almost soft. “When you find someone interesting... you collect facts about them.”
Kash didn’t know what to feel. Or rather, didn’t know how to bury what she felt. Because it was all there. By the truckload.
Building up under her skin, settling deep in her marrow, morphing into some kind of electric charge she carried around, day after day.
God, he was ruining her in more ways than one.
How could she protect her heart from someone like him? Someone who showed up, again and again, in every way she needed. Who got angry on her behalf. Who saw her—really saw her—and still wanted to hold her in her messiest moments. Who made her feel safe, no matter what.
She’d always been proud of her strength. Her independence. But this—this feeling of not having to be alone?
It was soul-filling. Like standing in sunlight after years in the dark.
Was this what being loved felt like? Or was she so starved of basic care and concern that she was mistaking it for more?
“How long has Josh been harassing you about this?” Diego said, a hard edge to his voice.
“For a while,” she said. “He got worse in the last few months. He’s still grieving.”
Diego grunted. “Only you could see assault as grief. You’re such a na?ve softie at heart.”
“I’m not being na?ve,” she said, too tired to argue. “Josh did a full program at the rehab clinic Serenity Hills right after Simon and I got married. He was clean for a whole year. Even managed to be polite to me at a Sunday dinner. But after the accident, he relapsed. His sister and he aren’t close. And Simon was his only anchor. Sometimes I think hating me has been his only fuel to keep going.”
Diego tensed beside her. “Is that why you hated me for so long?”
Kash froze. The words sounded like they scraped bone, exposing something he’d hidden for so long.
“Even after Kat let me back in,” he said in a low voice. “You held onto your dislike of me for so long, even after the accident. Because it was something to feel, something to fuel you in those dark days?”
Her chest tightened, with panic, with something sharp and slippery.
Kash stared at the grain of the floorboards, the way her bare toes curled into the rug. It felt like the ground was spinning out from under her. But she couldn’t lie to him, not even to make him feel better. Not when he knew her as well as he did.
“I didn’t hate you. But I judged you for a long time for abandoning Kat when she told you she was pregnant.”
The silence between them stretched, and in it, she could feel him pulling away—not physically, but emotionally. His body was stiff next to hers.
She forced herself to breathe. She didn’t do this—this talking, this digging. Usually she powered through, shoved the hard feelings into some forgotten mental closet, turned the page. That’s how she survived.
But for him, she had to do this, however painful it was to revisit. “You know that our father walked out on us when I was fourteen. Mama and he had had an argument about the job he had been fired from, again. He said... this damned family was like a millstone around his neck, dragging him down.” She drew in a shuddering breath. “He left before too but always came back. For months, or years in Mama’s and Kat’s case, we pretended like he would return. But I knew. I saw his face that night. He wasn’t angry so much as done. He never came back.”
She looked up slowly, unsure of what she might see in his face. Despite the tightness of his jaw, there was understanding in his eyes that floored her.
“When Kat brought you back into our lives, I was wary. For Tia’s sake more than anything,” she said softly. Wishing now that she hadn’t held on to that judgement for so long. “And yes, my past with our dad colored it.”
Diego didn’t move or say a word.
She tried again. “But you’ve made me eat my words since then. Again and again. You’ve showed up for Tia. For me, in countless ways.”
Still nothing. His face was carved from stone.
After what felt like an eternity, he spoke in clipped tones. “In all these years, did you never wonder why I broke it off with Katrina when she told me she was pregnant? Why I sank so low?”
Kash’s mouth went dry. Her heart thudded so loudly she was sure he could hear it. For just a second, she considered saying it didn’t matter anymore. But clearly, it mattered to him and she would be damned if she hurt him ever again.
Somehow, she forced her voice to work. “You were what, twenty-one? Twenty-two?” she said quietly. “Your career was just taking off, you were traveling. I know guys in their thirties who’d run at the prospect of parenthood. I’ll even admit that co-parenting with Kat must have looked scary. She wasn’t the most reliable sort.”
Diego flinched—not visibly, but she saw it in the brief flick of his gaze, the way his throat worked around whatever words he swallowed back.
“I just figured... that it scared you, so you made a mistake,” she added.
“A big one at that.” he said, before shooting to his feet.
She flinched, stunned by the sudden shift in energy. Grabbing the windowsill, she pushed to her feet, her legs shaky. “Please, tell me what?—”
“I have something to attend to,” he said, without meeting her eyes. It was the first time he had ever cut her off. “Should I get someone else to sit with you? Muriel won’t ask any questions.”
“I’m fine.” Her voice cracked. “And I don’t want anyone else.”
But he wasn’t listening. Not really. That sense of him, the one she felt earlier—strong, steady, anchored—was slipping from the room.
“We have to do something about Josh,” he said, shifting the conversation. “What if he comes after you at the hospital? Or waits outside Tia’s school? Or at the yoga studio?”
Kash stared at him, heart sinking. She wanted to push, to demand answers, but she was terrified of shattering the fragile bond between them. If he was angry or upset about something, she would give him space to work through it. Wait for him to come to her.
It struck her then—how grounded and mature he had always been. How he’d dealt with loss of soccer—to which he’d given nearly two decades of his life—and turned the loss into a new purpose with the soccer academy. How easily he had settled into fatherhood, even when Kat had still been struggling.
The decision to abandon a pregnant Kat, when she had desperately needed him, stuck out like a mismatched puzzle piece, all ugly and wrong.
Her mind whirled in the background as she tried to stay in the present. “Do you really have access to the kinds of resources that you claimed?”
“Yes.”
She nodded, coming to a decision. “Can you reach out to some of Josh’s old friends? Set up an intervention? Maybe get him a spot at the Serenity Hills clinic again? I can’t be part of it. I think I’m a trigger for him.”
Diego’s expression didn’t soften, but he was listening again. “Why?” he asked, not unkindly. “Why go to such lengths for him?”
She looked away. “Because he’s Simon’s son and I loved Simon. I want to help him get better, if there’s even a remote chance.”
His eyes narrowed slightly. “Why didn’t you tell anyone he was harassing you?”
Kash shrugged. “There was no one else to tell. Until now,” she added but he already turned away.
Without another word, he walked out, shutting the door behind him with a soft click.
Kash stared after him like a lost puppy, suddenly aware that it was the first time he had walked away from her. And only now, when he’d taken away his easy smiles and soft words and comforting presence did she realize how she’d taken them for granted. How tangible his care for her was.
‘Just sex’ sounded laughable in her own head.
Sinking to the floor again, she wrapped her arms around her knees.
The weight of his absence settled over her like a raw ache. He hadn’t yelled. But the quiet retreat hurt more than anything. Especially since all he’d done today was stand up for her.
Even with his anger toward her, she knew he would still make the calls. That he would pull together a team, talk to Josh’s friends, find a spot for him at the clinic. That he’d take care of it all.
Because she’d asked.
Because he always looked out for her. Even when she didn’t deserve it.
And for the first time in her life, Kash knew what it meant to be cared for, without her having to be perfect.
Scarily enough, she didn’t want to lose the taste of it, ever again.