Chapter 29
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
We only had one class left together. Ida wanted us to have a final goodbye session before summer began. It’d only been a few days, and the wound felt as fresh as if it had happened just minutes ago. I wasn’t ready to see him.
Aiden still felt the need to update me on the book. He’d only spoken to me through email, but I never replied to them. And I never read the final chapters.
Every time his email appeared in my inbox, my heart jumped to my throat. I prayed for the grand gesture of romance novels, a love letter begging forgiveness and telling me he was wrong, that he regretted that night. That he’d been miserable every second we’d been apart, and he’d do anything to have me back.
But no. His emails were always one liners: “Chapter’s done” or “Are you writing the next one or should I?” Up until his last one: “Final manuscript attached.”
I hadn’t seen Ida since it had all gone down either. I was just as hurt by her as Aiden. In New York, I had only really built a few foundations. Aiden and Ida were undoubtedly two of the most important ones. She knew, probably even more than Aiden, how much this fellowship meant to me, what it could do for me. And she’d never even told me Aiden was submitting, too.
Our last class would probably take less than an hour, but I was dreading it. I planned to get in and out as quickly as possible. Because three hours after class ended, I’d be on a flight to Tennessee.
When I’d told my parents I was going to move to New York, my dad had been skeptical. He told me he’d support whatever decision I made, but he cautioned, “Rosie Posie, the saying is if you can make it there. Not everyone can, okay? There’s nothing wrong with coming home.”
I had laughed when he said that because it was a ridiculous notion. I had spent nearly my entire life picturing myself as a stylish Sally Albright or a poised Charlotte York. I’d never, ever thought I’d go home.
But now I longed for the green hills of Tennessee and the peace and quiet.
Aiden was already there when I walked into our classroom. I could feel his gaze on me, but I refused to look his way.
“Is everything okay?” Jess frowned when I took Logan’s seat by her, away from Aiden. I hadn’t updated the Peculiar Pub gang about our breakup. I’d spent so much time reliving every word and second over in my head, and it only hurt more when I told Alexa. I didn’t think I had the strength to rehash it all.
I shrugged. “I don’t really know.”
“Is everything okay between you and Aiden?”
I spared a glance at him but he wasn’t paying attention to me.
“We broke up.” I lowered my voice.
“Oh, Rosie,” she said softly, grabbing my hand and squeezing it. “I’m so sorry.”
I shrugged. “It was bound to happen.”
Tyler walked into the room and sat across from Jess, sending her a smile. When he began to rifle through his bag, I whispered, “Things are going good between you two, huh?” Jess hesitated. “You can tell me. I’m not going to break.”
She nodded. “ Really good. He’s going to come meet my family over summer break.” I watched an involuntary smile spread over Jess’s face.
“I’m so happy for you, Jess,” I said genuinely.
“We’re planning on staying in the city for the summer, and I think Logan is too. We can egg Aiden’s place once you feel up for it.”
I smiled softly. “I’m actually going home.”
“Oh that’s great! You’ve been so homesick—this is exactly what you need. But you’ll be back in the fall, right? Because we’ve got that craft class together next semester, thank God.” When I shook my head, she straightened. “ Rosie. You can’t go home … you love New York. You told me once you even loved the rats here. You can’t just leave because of him.”
“It’s not because of him.” I looked down at my hands. “It’s just time. I don’t think I can do it much longer.”
Logan walked into the classroom and frowned when he saw me in his seat. Jess sent him a look and nodded at the chair across from Aiden. Genuine fear flitted across his face before he relented.
“I thought Logan stopped being scared of him when we started dating.”
Jess scoffed. “Aiden could dress like a teddy bear, and Logan would still freak out.”
Ida walked in the classroom and faltered when she saw the change in seats. Our eyes met briefly before I looked away.
It was a double heartbreak. Ida had been the catalyst for my life the past two years. Her article had pushed me to move to apply to NYU. Her kindness and advice in office hours had emboldened me. But I’d been avoiding her since the fellowship email went out.
She stood at the front of the room, clasping her hands in front of her chest. She asked us to share our experiences with our final projects, what we’d learned. I tuned it all out, my gaze firmly on the table between all of us.
“Before I dismiss you all for the final time, I just want to say how much of a joy it was to facilitate this class. It’s not often I have so much talent in one place, and I feel so lucky to have gotten to know you all.” I looked up at this and her eyes met mine. I quickly looked away. “If you need anything at all, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Have a great summer.”
The class shifted, gathering their things, and I moved as quickly as I could. The last thing I needed was a run in with Ida and Aiden. But just as I was about to rush out the door, Ida called out, “Rosie, can you hang back for a second?”
I grimaced and turned on my heel to stand at the head of the table by her.
“I just wanted to check in on you. I expected you to be practically living in my office as you worked on your final chapters.”
I bit my lip. “I got busy. You know how it is.”
She narrowed her eyes and nodded at the chair next to her. “Sit.”
Reluctantly, I slumped into the chair, holding my hands tightly together in my lap.
“If this is about the fellowship, then I’m really sorry you weren’t accepted. I think you’re an amazing writer, and you have a real future in the literary world. The story you submitted was exceptional. It was honest, raw, and heartfelt and I was surprised when—”
“I’m going home,” I blurted out. She opened her mouth but I cut her off. “And before you try to talk me out of it, I’m set in my decision. I … I trusted you. And Aiden. And neither of you told me he submitted, too. Aiden and I became so much more than competitors over these past few months … only for me to be the only one unaware we were still in a competition.” I took a shaky breath. “Maybe Aiden and I were only meant to get together to break up like in our book. I get that Happily Ever Afters don’t actually exist. I just … need to go home.”
She softened. “Rosie, I’m sorry neither of us told you. I—”
“I’m sorry, I think it’s best if I go,” I said. “I can’t miss my flight.”
With the weight of the world on my shoulders, or at least that’s what it felt like, I walked out of the Writer’s House for the last time.
Logan, Tyler, Jess, and Aiden were all waiting for me. One look at Tyler and Logan, and I knew Jess had filled them in.
“We told him to leave,” Logan said. He glared at Aiden from behind Tyler’s shoulder. “But he won’t budge.”
“You don’t have to talk to him,” Jess insisted. “We’re you’re security team. We can get you out of here without even looking at him.”
“I’m right here,” Aiden said drily.
“Did you hear that?” Logan asked, looking around. “Sounds like a whiny bitch.”
“Hey,” Aiden snapped, and Logan recoiled.
I smiled slightly. “It’s okay, y’all. I’ll catch up with you later.”
“You sure, Rosie?” Tyler asked.
I nodded. “I’ll text y’all later.”
All of them gave me supportive looks as Aiden and I were left on the street with each other. The silence stretched between us in unbearable lengths.
Finally, he spoke up. “Did you get a chance to read the last chapters?”
I knew better now what that look of hope meant in his eyes. It didn’t mean he wanted me to enjoy it, it meant he wanted me to praise it. Couldn’t say goodbye without enlarging his ego.
“Yes,” I lied.
“And?” he asked carefully.
“And what, Aiden?” I sighed. “It was good if that’s what you want me to say. The class is over, the book is done. It’s time to move on.”
A muscle in his cheek jumped. “Fine,” he said, his voice laced with venom. “Good luck, Rosie.” He turned on his heel and headed toward the subway.
After I said my goodbyes to the workshop group, I headed home to pick up my suitcase. I’d already shipped most of my boxes back home to Tennessee and was ready to get out of here.
Alexa was waiting for me in our living room. She was wearing all black because as she said, “I’m in mourning.”
She was in as much agony as me over the breakup, maybe even more.
“Are you absolutely sure?” Alexa asked miserably. I had pulled my suitcase to our front door, all packed and ready to go. “New York City is huge. You probably won’t ever see him again.”
I shook my head, my heart heavy. “I tried, but it didn’t work out. I need to go home.”
She folded me into a hug, squeezing me tight. “If you decide to come back, you’ll always have me for a roommate. Even if someone else is living with me, I’ll kick her out for you.”
I choked on a laugh, one or two tears slipping down my face. “You don’t have to.”
“But I will.” She tugged on my hand. “I hope you find what you’re looking for in Tennessee.”
“God,” I sighed. “Me too.”