Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Gen’s cheeks turn a deep shade of crimson at my words, shocked and flustered at my near admission. But where part of me feels like I’ve said too much, the other part wants to continue to admit my feelings for her.
As my fingers run to the end of her silky, curly hair, I let them fall back to my side, not allowing me to reach out and kiss her like I long to do. Instead I admire her for a moment, taking in every bit of her beauty—the ethereal glow of sun-kissed skin, the vibrancy of her sky-blue eyes.
There is a thin line between love and hate, but I’ve never once hated her. Not for a second. No one has ever captured my attention like she has, even if she’s driving me crazy ninety-nine point nine percent of the time.
And pretending like I’m not completely infatuated with the woman in front of me is exhausting.
“I don’t hate you, Gen. I could never hate you.”
Her lips part. Questions swirl in the reflection of her eyes right before she squeezes them shut. “Why are you here, Lincoln?”
I stop denying the contact I’ve been craving, and I take her hand in mine. A small gasp catches in my throat, and it sends a spike of arousal through me. “You scared me. When I saw you hit the floor… Dammit, Gen.”
Fear slithers down my spine as the image flashes through my memory.
Gen shakes her head. “I’m so confused.”
“I’m not expecting anything. I only stayed because I wanted to make sure you were okay. I can leave.” Slowly, I withdraw my hand from hers.
She surprises me when she catches it, tightening her grip. “No. Stay.”
We’re both held captive by the moment, eyes searching as our gazes stay locked. So many things are on the tip of my tongue, but I don’t want to overwhelm her, not when she has a concussion, but I refuse to live in a lie any longer.
There’s a million reasons why I should keep my distance like I have been, or why I should put a stop to this before it even begins, but between watching her fall, and witnessing her on a date not too long ago, I’m done.
I want her.
For the first time in a long time, I feel nervous to speak to a woman. “Gen, I—“
“There she is!” Doctor Kelley glides into the room, breaking the tension in the air and interrupting what I was about to say. “It’s so good to see you awake, Nurse Nikolaou. How are you feeling?”
With my hypothetical tail tucked between my legs, I back away from Genesis. As her hand falls from mine and hits the side of her hospital bed, she looks at me in disarray rather than greeting her doctor.
I try to reassure her with a smile. “I’ll give you a minute. I’m going to give Miller and Zee an update."
“My family!” she gasps.
“Are waiting for their update as well.”
Doctor Kelley buzzes around the monitors, inputting updates into her tablet. My eyes wander to her, knowing she’s purposely making herself productive right now, then back to Gen.
“You spoke to my parents?” She pushes herself more upright, then starts patting the space around her while frantically looking around. “Where’s my phone? I have to call them.”
“Your mother.” I turn around and grab her phone off the windowsill, where it was charging, and hand it to her. “I’ll call them too. Let Doctor Kelley go over things with you. I’ll be back.”
Slipping out into the hallway, I call my cousin as I lean against the wall, pinching the bridge of my nose.
“I screwed up,” I groan the moment he answers.
Ignoring my juvenile call for attention, he asks, “How’s Genesis?”
“Awake. Stable. Slightly less annoying than usual and therein lies the problem, Miller.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Genesis!” Her name falls from my lips in a hiss of frustration. “I may have crossed a line with her.”
Miller doesn’t bother hiding his exasperation. “What kind of line?”
“Who is it?” Zee’s groggy voice comes through the phone, accompanied by a hearty yawn.
“It’s Linc.” Miller mirrors her yawn, and his breath obnoxiously blows into the receiver.
“Did I wake you guys? It’s only”—I glance at my watch—“eight thirty.”
“How’s Gen?” Zee asks with concern at the same moment Miller clarifies, “You’re on speaker, and no, but we were watching a movie.”
Talking over Miller again, Zee rapid fires questions at me. “Has she woken up? Can I talk to her? When can she go home?”
“Take a breath, Zee. She’s alright. Awake, sipping on water, nursing her headache.”
She sighs in relief. “Thank goodness. A Christmas miracle.”
I wouldn’t call it that, but sure, a Christmas miracle it is.
“I’ve been so worried all day and have felt super guilty for enjoying my Christmas while my friend’s in the hospital. Have you called her parents yet?”
“Not yet. Honestly, it should be Gen’s doctor who calls them, but I will after we hang up. But first I need to speak with Miller.”
“I’m here.” Static filters through from the phone being passed off.
“As I was saying, I screwed up.” Walking down the hall of the hospital, I step into a quiet alcove and lean against the wall.
“How so,” Miller grumbles. There’s a faint sound of bedding being shuffled, then footsteps. “You’re not on speaker anymore. I’m in the other room.”
“Appreciate the discretion, although it’s not really needed. I’m sure Zee will hear about it soon.”
“So what’d you do?”
“I came onto her.”
A nurse passes by, catching my eye. She gives me a small wave, and I nod politely before shifting my body, closing off any chance of conversation.
“What do you mean you came onto her? I didn’t even know you had a thing for her.”
I exhale slowly. “Well, I guess I’ve done a damn good job at concealing it then.” Bitterness fuels me, and I rub my hand over my jaw in frustration.
“Seriously?” Miller asks, still in disbelief. “How long have you had feelings for her, man?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Since the day Zee introduced us.”
“Why haven’t you said anything?” I can practically see my cousin mouth what the fuck to himself as he paces.
“What is there to say?” Leaning my head back against the wall, I close my eyes briefly. “You finally found someone who makes you happy. I’m not going to jeopardize your relationship by dating her friend.”
A long silence settled between us, and with it, I could hear the crackling of the fireplace on the other end of the phone. I was right, he’s still at my parents’ house.
I should end the call and let him get back to his Christmas.
“How would you dating Genesis put my relationship in jeopardy?”
“You know damn well that if I’d gone for Gen and it didn’t work out, things would always be weird between me and Zee. We could never hang as a friend group like we do now. You’re telling me that wouldn’t strain your relationship?”
Another silence sat heavy between us, and I let him process what I’d said.
Part of the reason why I haven’t pursued her is to protect his relationship, in some capacity. In hindsight, as we talk this out, I realize I never should have. He didn’t ask me to, and he wouldn’t have.
I did this to myself.
“I mean, when you put it that way, yeah, I guess, but we’re also adults. If you have a genuine interest in Genesis, your concern doesn’t seem like enough of a reason to not go for her. I mean, look at how Zee and I got together. She was your date for Christmas last year.”
“My fake date,” I reminded him, letting out a low laugh.
“Still, you brought her around, and I stole her from you.”
“Yeah, you kind of did, didn’t you?” Glancing at my watch again, I wonder if Doctor Kelley has finished with Gen yet. I’m anxious to go back in there. Speaking to her is far more important than this conversation.
“Anyway, what happened with Genesis?”
“I threw all caution to the wind.” Pushing my hand through my hair, I stop walking, looking around the quiet hallway. “It’s like something snapped inside of me when I watched her fall.”
Miller lets out a low, taunting whistle. “Then go get your girl, Lincoln. I thought you said she was awake.”
“She is.” Like a magnet, my gaze drifts down the hallway toward her room. The door’s still closed. “She’s with her doctor now, but they should be finishing up.”
“What the hell are you still doing on the phone with me?” The smile on his face was evident in his tone. It’s contagious, and with a nod of my head he can’t see, I move in her direction.
“We’ll talk later, Miller.”
Ending the call, I practically sprint, my steps quickening as I head for Gen. Reaching for the doorknob, I’m surprised when it opens from inside, and I’m suddenly face to face with Doctor Kelley.
“Oh, Doctor Stokes, there you are.” She steps further into the hall, closing the door behind her.
“How is she?” I peer over Doctor Kelley’s shoulder through the small window on the door, but the light in the room is dim, making it difficult to see.
“She’s doing as expected. Headache and fatigue, with some light sensitivity. I’d discharge her tonight, but in my opinion, better safe than sorry.”
“I completely agree.” Nodding, I try to look around her again. I’m anxious—dare I say desperate to get in there.
My phone buzzes against my leg, the vibration jarring, and it pulls me back to reality.
“Lincoln, are you okay?” Doctor Kelley’s voice muddles the haze in my mind, but her words don’t process enough for me to answer her.
My stomach tightens when I see the number I called earlier flash across my screen. Gen’s mom.
“So sorry, Doctor, I need to take this.” Smashing my thumb against the accept button, I press the device against my ear. “Hello?”
“Hi, Doctor Stokes?”
“Mrs. Nikolaou, hi.”
“Hi, dear. I hope I’m not bothering you, but Peter and I were getting ready to head down to the hospital. Is now a good time?” Her voice trembles, the worry clutching her tightly.
“I’m sure she’d love that, Mrs. Nikolaou.
Her doctor just left the room and gave me an update.
” I regurgitate everything Doctor Kelley just told me, giving her factual information in my standard monotone voice I reserve for this exact scenario.
As I’m relaying everything though, I glance out the window across from me, seeing the snowstorm.
I’ve never seen anything like it before, not here in the city at least. “Mrs. Nikolaou, can I order you a car so you’re not driving in this weather? ”
“You’re so kind, but we’ll make do. It’s about time we put the truck to good use. We’ll be there in about thirty minutes or so.”
With a promise to update them if anything changes, I slip my phone back in my pocket. Pausing outside of her door, I blow out a shaky breath. Miller told me to go get my girl, but what if she’s not interested in being mine?
The thought forms a lump in my throat as my fingers graze the handle of the door.
I’ll never know until I tell her how I feel. How I’ve been feeling.
Pushing the door open, I step into Gen’s room. It takes a second for my eyes to adjust to the pale, dim lighting, and once they do, I find she’s already drifted off to sleep again.
For a moment I watch the steady rise and fall of her chest, letting it ease the tightness in my chest.
She’s so beautiful.
So mine.
At least, I hope she’ll be.