Chapter 25 - Randy #2
“This is her third. She’s gone through the germ phase.
I also remember how exhausted she was when Michelle was a newborn, and everybody had to go through a five-step cleaning program to hold the baby.
She ended up tiring herself out because she was too concerned about germs to give herself a break.
Marco though? Go wash your hands so I can shove the kid at you. ”
“Oh, I hate you now, too,” he grumbled.
I smiled. “You know I’m right.”
“Yeah?” he snarked back. “Just wait until it’s you: Mister ‘I’m going to ask Craig to bond and breed me for my heat.’ You’re going to pop out a kid just in time for holiday parties, and I’m going to laugh my fucking ass off at the karma as everybody wants to pass your first newborn around.”
I swallowed.
“See?”
I let out a nervous laugh. “Uh… like either of us will have a choice?”
“Asshole,” he laughed. “But I’ll be at Yazzy’s party… assuming I’m not in the delivery room.”
“Good.”
We chatted for several more minutes before Callum lured Kerry away with promises of foot rubs and knots.
The call disconnected, then it was just me in my cabin with my thoughts.
I had to cycle off my suppressants. There wasn’t a question about that.
Was I ready for Craig to bond and breed me?
Did I really want to wait any longer?
∞∞∞
“Hey Simon,” I said as I spotted him at the resort’s front desk. I strode over, Russy at my heel. “What brings you inside?”
He let out a long sigh. “Same thing that brought you here. Details for this wedding.”
One of my eyebrows went up. “Seriously?”
He nodded. “Don’t get me wrong. I love to see it, but it’s a pain in the ass.”
“Oh?”
“They reserved every room available for the full weekend, and told us that if any of the already-existing reservations were cancelled, to go ahead and book those rooms for them as well.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah.” He reached down and scratched behind Russy’s ears. “How ya doin’, Russy?”
Russy’s tail thumped on the floor in response.
He stood again and rubbed the back of his neck.
“Apparently, the high-priced planner is driving Ollie insane with the requests. Like, yeah, our amenities… we’ve got you.
Connections to people like you. We’re good.
But she’s calling constantly, asking for DJ or photographer recs.
Like… that’s why you’re making the big bucks!
Let us handle our responsibilities, and stop trying to offload things that you should be handling. ”
“But you have those recs,” I replied. “I’ve seen the recommended vendors list.”
“And Ollie sent it over, multiple times. Apparently they’re all too mainstream, whatever the fuck that means.”
“All of them? You’ve got a pretty good-sized list considering Mount Sable’s population.”
Simon shrugged. “Hell if I know. One good bit is that they got an indie musician they like from Mountain Springs to do the cocktail hour. Ian Jacobson… I think.”
“Name’s familiar,” I replied. “If it’s who I think, he’s pretty good. He’s played at charity events where I’ve donated pieces.”
“That’s something… I guess.”
I chuckled. “Lemme take Russy up to your dad, since you’ll be in the meeting. Normal conference room?”
“Yep.”
“Ok, see you in a few.”
I headed upstairs to Dale’s office, knocked on the door, and headed in when he responded. “Want a work buddy while I meet with Simon and Ollie?”
He grinned. “Hey Randy!” He turned. “Hey, Russy! Come’ere.”
Russy padded over and disappeared behind Dale’s desk.
“Good boy,” Dale said as he turned and appeared to scratch behind Russy’s ears. “You’re with me for a while.”
“Thanks,” I said as he turned back to me.
“No prob,” he replied. Then he winked. “Also, him being with me means that I’ll be able to ask about that ring on your finger.”
I choked on air.
He laughed. “I’ll see you after the meeting.”
“Ok,” I squeaked.
I scurried down the hall to the meeting room and took a seat beside Simon.
“Thanks for coming,” Ollie said. “The planner will be calling in about an hour, and I want to kind of get our side nailed down before she tries to steamroll us.”
“Is it really that bad?” I asked.
He leveled a stare at me. “Look, I know you don’t do the wedding tax thing.
But tack on fifty percent… at least. Honestly, I suggest doubling.
She’s going to insist on haggling and will be pissy as fuck if she thinks you aren’t moving enough.
She’ll get you below material costs if you let her.
So start high, decide how much of a volume discount you want to give, and hold firm well above that.
She’s going to keep trying to get you lower even after we leave here today. ”
“We had to threaten to cancel if she demanded any more discounts,” Simon agreed. “We’d finally settle on something, then a few days later we’d be waiting for her to sign, and she’d want to come back for another round of negotiations.”
“And this is the planner?” I asked.
“Yep,” Ollie confirmed. “I’ve already told Dale I’ll walk before I take another couple with her.”
“And I wouldn’t blame him,” Simon said.
“And you’re dragging me into this mess because…”
“Because it’s a lot of tedious work that you’re going to hate. But you’ll net a nice profit even with a volume discount.”
One of my eyebrows went up.
Ollie shrugged. “This couple has fuck you money, and for some reason decided to come here rather than get married at some exclusive island resort that’s used to this shit. And they want the works with the woodland chic vibe.”
“Oh?”
Simon sighed. “They might actually use up everything you have dried that comes from the property. And that’s assuming you have the right sizes. Be ready to say you can use wood from around the lake, but that not all of it will be from the resort.”
“Ooooook…” I pulled out my phone and opened my notes app. “What are we looking at?”
Ollie blew out a breath and picked up a tablet to look at his own notes. “Florals… They want a live-edge turned bowl as the centerpiece of every table. I know we’ll have to line them with a plastic or glass container for the water.”
He turned the tablet to show me an inspiration photo with a wood bowl and an intricate floral display. Flowering vines cascaded over the sides, then some bushy type roses, and what looked like curly willow giving height from the middle.
I whistled. “Damn.”
“She’s asking for a twenty-inch diameter. Varying heights.”
I snorted. “Only if they’re buying me a new lathe.
I can do fourteen, but anything bigger and it won’t clear the bed.
Not that I’ve got wood much bigger than that anyway.
I core greenwood and let it dry, so I’m not waiting a couple extra years for the whole thing, or have to worry about kilning it.
There are a few pieces… maybe. But even if I had more swing, we’re talking two…
three max. So they’re getting a fourteen-inch diameter from me.
Fifteen if they’re incredibly lucky and I don’t lose much when rounding, but honestly, I’m not even going to present that as an option. ”
“Good call. And I’m glad there’s a hard limit.”
“It’s better for us, too,” Simon added. “Big ass wood bowls, water, florals, food… it would get heavy on the tables. Let the flowers take up more space. They’re lighter.”
“How many do you need?” I asked.
Ollie glanced at his notes again. “Twenty? They’re maxing us out. Hundred fifty guests at ten per table is fifteen just for the dining tables. Then they want two on the sweetheart table. One on the cake table. One on the card table. And one on the welcome table with the guest book.”
“Twenty bowls?” I wheezed. “Are you serious?”
Ollie laughed. “We’re not done yet. Like I said, they’ve got fuck you money.”
“There’s more?”
He nodded. “I think they’re planning to give bowls as gifts to the wedding party. Except for the ones on the sweetheart and cake tables. If I heard right, they’re going to keep those for their own decor.”
I made a note of that detail for later.
“But they want extravagant gifts for all their guests.” He paused. “How much are you going to hate me when I tell you they want mini charcuterie sets for favors?”
“I’m going to tell you right now that it won’t happen from wood from the resort.
I mostly select for larger projects when I pick out what I want from here.
But I can use wood from my land. I’ve got lumber already cut to good thicknesses and kiln dried.
So I’d just need to know what size we’re looking at. ”
He nodded again. “I already asked that. Instead of a direct answer, I was told that they want the board to come with a small jar of honey from Milner’s Apiary.”
“Hmm… the small jars are about two inches across, aren’t they?” I asked.
“Yeah. Then they want a honey dipper…”
“I hope they’re not wanting me to make those…”
“Ummm…”
I shook my head. “Nope. Those things are a pain in the ass and get lost in a drawer or tossed the instant the honey is gone. Not worth my time. Milner’s orders them from someplace that makes them in bulk on a computerized lathe. I can do cheese knives with turned handles, though.”
Ollie shrugged. “Honestly, they’d probably love that. They wanted some artisan cheeses to round it out anyway.”
I did some rough math in my head. “I’m thinking either five by seven or six by eight.”
Ollie made a note. “Let’s start with the larger. That gives you some room to haggle with an option to make them smaller.”
“Ok,” I agreed. “I’ll cut recesses for the honey jars so they won’t move around on the boards.”
“Good plan.” Ollie paused and gave me a pleading look. “Any way we can talk you into helping assemble the sets before the wedding?”
I burst into laughter. “Best you’ll get out of me is I’ll pair knife and board wood types for you.”
“I’ll take it. I already have the feeling this will be slushed off to us. I’d like to hope that the actual planner would hire people for these incidentals, but I’m not crossing my fingers.”