Chapter 18 – Riley Thomas
Riley Thomas
"M orning," Kills says, when I walk into the kitchen the next day. Cove is chilling at the table in her booster seat, Lily is snoozing in her swing.
"Good morning," I say, tossing myself into his chest. "Did you shut off the monitor?"
Kills rumbles a laugh. "Sure did." He nods. "You smell good." His nose runs up my neck and my eyes cut over to Cove. She's busy trying to fork some cut up pancakes and sausage. She gives up and goes for it with her fingers.
I snort a laugh. "She's covered in syrup and ketchup."
"This is a tactile learning experience. She's a kinesthetic learner," he says, rumbling a laugh. "Figured that out the other night when my mom fed us spaghetti for dinner. We all had a good laugh watching her fist the noodles."
My heart sinks and I'm sure my face falls.
"What's wrong?" he ponders. "You were smiling and now…"
"I never realized how much I'd miss," I say, giving him a squeeze and heading to the table.
"Mommy!" Cove shrieks.
I unbuckle her and pull her up to hold her, sticky hands and all.
"I missed you," I whisper, trying to get my hormones under control. "I've been away far too much lately."
"Missed you too." She smiles, kissing my cheek. "I'm still hungry." Her eyes fly back to the table.
Settling her back in her seat, I don't make eye contact with Killian.
I take the seat next to Cove's and study her smiley face.
She's happier here than she's ever been.
I only work five or six hours four nights a week and she's asleep for some of that.
But I'm missing out on a lot. It never clicked how much I would miss being away from them.
Kills puts a plate down in front of me as Finn pops into the kitchen.
It's such a conundrum. Wanting to be self-sufficient and able to provide for us without help, but also being heartbroken over the moments I'm missing out on. I think I finally understand why so many omegas forego a career to stay home and raise a family.
"Morning, Button," Finn says, brushing a finger over Cove's cheek. "Darling." He kisses the side of my head.
Finn and Killian talk in low voices.
I'm leaning over the table with my face in my hands. Why am I freaking the hell out? I've given myself this pep talk before. I know logically that moms work all the time. I don't even work full time. I know I'm having a dramatic overreaction.
Why the hell am I about to cry? God it's such a ridiculous feeling. Having a support system is a blessing . Knowing the girls are okay when I'm not around is a good thing. Why do I feel like I'm losing my shit?
"Mom, you nervous?" Cove asks, tilting her head to study me.
"No, I'm just…" I shake my head. "I'm good."
"No," Cove says, shaking her head and stretching out a small hand. "I love you."
"I love you too," I choke out. My eyes ache and I feel like I'm messing everything up.
"Mummy needs a hug," Finn says, lifting Cove out of her seat and placing her in my lap. "Do you have fun at Fefe's?"
Cove nods, she starts chattering away about making homemade playdough.
"…it's not for eating," she says, kissing my cheek.
"It takes a village… or in my case, four very highly paid nannies. I can attest to the fact that people who genuinely love a child treat them better than paid help," Finn says, brushing fingers over my cheek. "You got mummy all sticky."
Cove shrugs. "Sorry."
Killian hands Finn a wet washcloth.
"How about I take over with the Button and the tiny miss and you go take a shower?" Finn suggests.
"I can show you my new toys?" Cove asks Finn. She flutters her lashes, tilting her head to study his face.
The way he grins back at her takes my breath away. My mind files through memories trying to remember a time Jeremy ever looked at her with such tender kindness.
"Absolutely, Button."
"Not a Button."
"Come on," Kills says, pulling me out of my chair. I glance back, but Cove is letting Finn clean off her hands and face.
"That's my job," I whisper.
"Sometimes," Killian agrees. "Other times, it doesn't hurt to have help.
No one person can do everything alone. Not for very long.
I think that's what's happening now. You're so used to having no help that you soak it up, but then feel guilty for having even a basic level of assistance.
" He guides me down the hall into his bedroom.
"You did it alone for three years. Including while you were pregnant with Lily.
" He raises an eyebrow. "Don't try to tell me different.
You managed and you've done a hell of a job. "
He takes a seat on the bed and pats his chest. I scramble up, wrapping my legs around his back.
"You're a great mom. No matter who else they have in their lives they'll always love you in a completely different way than anyone else.
You survived in triage mode for too long.
Everything that had to be done, you did it.
I get that it feels like you're dropping the ball now.
" He rubs tender circles on my back. "That's not how it is.
You gained a couple of teammates. We all get to carry the ball now. Do you understand?"
I cry against Killian's chest. Hot breath fans out over his neck as I weep like a freaking lunatic. My head shakes no and then yes. Hell. I have no idea what's wrong with me. None at all.
"It's very hard not to track down their dad and teach him a lesson," he rumbles. "Shit. Shouldn't have said that."
I laugh against his neck. My arms wrap around his head and I suck in deep comforting lungfuls of his comforting woodsy scent.
"There's a lot of guilt," I whisper. "Cove saw too much. My ex wasn't exactly nice all the time. He wasn't physically abusive, but he yelled a lot and wasn't afraid to make threats. Luckily, I got out before they escalated…" I pause.
I really don't want to get into all that. Jeremy knows exactly how to threaten to hit you where it hurts most.
Focusing back on Killian, I go on. "He couldn't be bothered with Cove, if that makes sense.
Seeing her with you guys…" I pause trying to figure out how to process my thoughts.
"It's beautiful. Literally, it's amazing seeing how happy she is lately.
Knowing that if I make a mistake and over sleep or something that you'll be there.
Killian, it means everything to me. I don't know why I keep breaking down. "
"You had a baby not too long ago," he says, rubbing a hand over the back of my head. "And you're acclimating. Be kinder to yourself."
"It's hard," I whine, burrowing into his strong arms. I have the almost uncontrollable urge to nest, but Killian is warm and safe so this will do for now.
Blowing out a breath, I focus on what I want to say. "There's all this guilt I didn't expect. I need to earn money and be self-sufficient, but I also hate leaving my girls. It's like there's no good answer."
"Sweetheart," he says, tipping my face to his. "You don't have to work. If you want to stay around the house taking care of the girls… then do that. None of us will mind a bit, but I get the feeling you need to prove to yourself that you can do it."
I nod. "I don't ever want to cash that check my ex gave me. Or maybe I will, but I'll save every penny to give to the girls for college or something."
Killian growls lowly. I push up on my knees staring up at him in shock.
"I don't want you to take anything from him," he grumbles, pulling my face close to his neck. "I understand you want to set them up for their future and that's one thing, but I don't want you to need anything from that bastard. We're here for you."
I blow out a heavy breath against his throat and nod. I don't want anything from Jeremy either.
"Meant what I said. Work as long as you want to work, but don't feel like you have to. I know it's scary to trust anyone, but Riley even if this shit didn't work out…" He pauses. "Which I don't see happening. If it didn't we'd still make sure you were okay, no matter fucking what."
That's the thing about Killian Adler, he's so damn easy to trust. It's completely different from the blind trust I gave Jeremy.
Maybe that sounds gullible, but I've met this man's mother.
I was with Jeremy for nearly four years and I met his dad one time.
His family looked at me like the scum of the earth.
They made it very clear that I'm just trailer trash.
Good enough to fuck, but his father told him he'd cut Jeremy out of the family completely before letting our relationship be anything else.
I've met Killian's mom and dads. Cannon's mom and brother too. They don't seem to be embarrassed by me and everyone I've met seems like they're genuinely good people.
"I trust you," I tell him, pushing my mouth to his.
He growls into the kiss. His hand gropes my ass as the other holds me to him. My pussy grinds over his zipper and I try not to feel weird for wanting him so damn bad when I was just having a nervous breakdown.
"Knock-knock," Finn says, leaning his head in the door.
Killian growls playfully.
"Oh color me shocked. You've not yet showered.
No matter. I quite like the idea of you coming out bathed in my scent.
" Finn holds Lily in his tattoo covered arms and I shiver at the sight.
That hunk of a man was inside me last night.
"Jasper is here, might not hurt to have an omega around to calm the alpha posturing. "
"Jasper?" I ask, climbing off Killian's lap.
"Yes, this should be interesting," Finn says, pulling me to him for a quick kiss. "No, don't steal the tiny miss…" He pouts as I take my baby. I snuggle my cheek to hers and he shrugs. "Fine then." He tosses an arm over my shoulder and leads us out to the living room.
"No," Cannon says, shaking his head. He's got Cove on his hip and he's frowning over at Jasper.
Jasper looks like a cover model from some men's high fashion magazine.
He's got on dark wash jeans, some type of work boot, and a white button down with the collar folded down over a knit sweater.
His black hair is floppy and messy as he frowns over at Cannon.
He's also got just the right amount of stubble on his face to be incredibly sexy.
"I have nowhere else to go. Gladys's is closed for the season. My family doesn't live on the island. Who am I supposed to stay with? My housekeeper?" Jasper asks. He sounds exasperated.
"Assper can't stay?" Cove asks, peering up at Cannon. She's kinda terrible with those "J" sounds and Finn giggles like a fiend.
Cannon grins down at Cove. "He's more than capable of taking care of himself, sweetheart."
"Tater Tot," Jasper says, like he's just noticed my daughter on Cannon's hip. He stretches out his arms and Cove proves she's a sucker for a pretty face too. She climbs right over into his outstretched arms. Jasper tickles her sides, and she laughs.
"That's not even right," Finn says, chuckling. "She gives me a right dressing down every time I call her Button, but Tater Tot is fine?"
"Sunderland," Jasper says, walking right past Cannon and into the living room. "Haven't seen you in ages. Hey Riles." His eyes bug when he sees Lily. "You weren't joking. Damn, she's tiny."
"Don't curse around the kids," Killian grumbles, coming up to stand at my back.
"That's my sister," Cove says, leaning over to kiss Lily's forehead.
"You can tell," Jasper says, studying Lily's face. "Help me out here Riles, you've got the hook-up. A pipe burst in my basement. The entire lower level is flooded to kingdom come. It's the week of Thanksgiving. I won't be able to force anyone out to fix it."
"You've got plenty of money to throw at the problem," Cannon says like he's actually being helpful.
"I like turkey, gobble gobble," Cove says, adding her two cents. Finn giggles at her like a madman. She grins back.
"Don't force me home to my parents. They've already left to visit my siblings they don't have disdain for," Jasper says, spinning around to face Cannon. "We used to be best friends."
"Before you-" Cannon eyes Cove. "Completely destroyed that friendship."
"We've both got a whole lot more years of life under our belts. Don't hold a grudge. I did you a favor," Jasper says.
Cannon growls lowly at Jasper. A shiver runs down my spine.
"Let me get my kid," I say, handing Lily to Finn. "No growling in my daughter's direction."
Cove comes to me and Jasper frowns. "She was my ace in the hole," he says, pouting worse than a toddler.
"Tough shit," I scoff. "You're on your own, buddy. Sounds like you made some poor choices. We all have to face facts sometime."
Cannon grins at that, nodding his agreement. He steps over to my side, wrapping an arm around my waist. "Seems not everyone falls for your unfailing charm."
"Riles is immune," Jasper says, swiping a hand through the air. "As a friend she's allowed to call me on my shit."
"No cursing," Killian rumbles.
Jasper guffaws. "Riley just said the same word."
"House rule," Kills says. He shrugs completely unrepentant in his hypocrisy.
"Fine. I accept your terms," Jasper says with a smirk.
Cannon curses under his breath. No one gives him hell. I shake my head smiling like a fool.
"Fine, you can stay. Only until the pipe is fixed," Cannon concedes.
"Excellent," Jasper says, clapping. "You really have softened his edges haven't you?" He directs the question at me and I laugh.
"Don't harass Riley or I'll kick you out on your a-" Cannon pauses. "Tail faster than you can blink."
"Understood," Jasper says. His face is covered in a disarming grin. He tosses an arm around my shoulder. "Mmm, you smell good."
"Stop," I grumble, giving his chest a playful shove.
"Come darling, I'll watch the wee one while you and the little miss take a quick shower," Finn says, kissing the side of my head.