Chapter 37 #3
“That won’t be necessary,” Lindsey replies evenly. “But I will need you to cooperate with our investigation.”
“Of course!” Why are we wasting time with HR when there’s clearly a system issue? “What happened exactly? How can I help?”
“There was a major system failure over the weekend. Several hotels can’t access bookings. Guests are arriving to find their reservations missing from the system. In many cases, we can’t even confirm whether they’ve paid. Check-ins and check-outs had to be processed manually.”
My mouth goes dry. The spit just evaporates. “How bad?”
“Very bad,” she says simply. “Thousands of guests affected across multiple sites. Front desks are overwhelmed. Phones ringing off the hook. The financial and reputational damage is... significant.”
My stomach drops. Was it my change on Friday evening?
This is exactly what I warned Craig about. Exactly what I said would happen if we skimped on testing.
Now here we are, the great McLaren Hotels empire hurled back into the Stone Age. Front desks scrambling with pens and notepads like it’s 1972.
At least I covered myself. The warnings. The documentation. This isn’t my fault.
“Okay,” I say, leaning forward urgently. “I should be with the team. If I could just speak to them first, get them back on their feet, then we can come back and do this audit thing. I just—” My hands shake. “I need to make sure it gets fixed.”
Craig is going to explode when he finds out I’ve been dragged in here to talk process while the system is on fire.
“That won’t be necessary,” Sarah says. “The engineers have already been assigned. More importantly, there are concerns about how this deployment went live at all. We need to establish whether proper protocols were followed before you’re involved any further.”
I blink at her, confused. My brain scrambles to translate corporate-speak into actual meaning. “Okay…”
“As a precautionary measure, we’re suspending you while the investigation is ongoing.”
The words don’t land. They just sort of float there in the air between us.
“What?” I can’t have heard right. “Suspending... me?”
This must be a mistake. Some horrible misunderstanding where everyone’s reading from different scripts.
“With pay, pending full investigation. We need to understand how this unauthorized deployment occurred.”
Unauthorized? My brain trips over the word. “So, it’s related to my change, right? But Craig told me to do it. He called me and said to stop stalling. I don’t understand why I’m being suspended. This makes no sense.”
Lindsey adjusts her glasses. “According to your line manager, he specifically instructed you to delay rollout until further testing. He states he was unaware this feature had been deployed.”
The room tilts.
My chair might as well be on wheels because suddenly nothing feels solid. The floor. The walls. Reality itself.
Craig’s blaming me. For some reason, it went catastrophically wrong, and he’s throwing me to the wolves.
“What? That’s not true! He told me to deploy it immediately. There should be emails. I documented everything—”
“We’ll review all communications,” Sarah cuts in. “For now, you need to hand over your laptop and any company devices. You’re not to access systems or contact colleagues until further notice.”
My laptop. My documentation. My proof.
I grip the strap of my bag like I might snap it in half. My hands won’t stop shaking. My whole body won’t stop shaking.
Unless... oh God. Unless he’s already deleted them from the server. He has admin access. He could make it all disappear. Then all that’s left are the logs showing my deployment—apparently unauthorized. Just Georgie Button from IT, going rogue and taking down an entire hotel chain.
“When will I know?” I ask, voice small.
“The investigation will take as long as necessary,” Lindsey says, not unkindly but not warmly either. “We’ll be in touch.”
Oh my God. He fucking lied. Rewrote the whole thing. My change did cause the failure, but he ordered it, he pushed me, and now he’s buried me with it.
Here’s the problem: Craig can talk the talk. He’s been spinning technical jargon into executive-speak for twenty years, making himself sound indispensable when half the time he doesn’t even understand what we’re building. The board thinks he’s brilliant. Patrick trusts him.
Me? I sound like exactly what I am: a junior developer who’s been crying too much and sleeping too little.
My voice shakes when I’m nervous. I over-explain when I’m passionate about something.
I say “sorry” before sentences that don’t need apologies.
I apologize to fish, for fuck’s sake. I care too much, and it shows, making me seem emotional rather than professional.
My throat burns. “Does Mr. McLaren know about the incident?”
“Of course,” Sarah replies.
“Does he know about...” I swallow hard. “Me being suspended?”
“Yes.”
I press the heel of my hand hard against my chest, like I can force air into my lungs if I just push hard enough.
It doesn’t work. My breath comes in pathetic little stutters.
“In fact,” Lindsey says, closing the folder, “Mr. McLaren would like a word before you leave. We’re to escort you there.”
I stare at her. Numb. My brain has stopped processing information. It’s just static now.
Escort me. Like I’m a criminal.
“He’s in London?”
Patrick knows. And he isn’t here, fighting for me, demanding the truth. He’s listening to Craig. He’s choosing Craig.
With a single decision, he’s taking away the only thing that’s mine: pride in my work. The one thing I could hold up and say: Even when everything else in my life is falling apart, even when men don’t want me and my aunt dies and my brother treats me like a child, I can do this. I’m good at this.
If they take that too, then what’s left of me?
A woman who keeps giving men everything she has, only to watch them walk away with the pieces.