Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
“ Y ou made it,” I say, opening the door for Justin.
“I told you I’d be here,” he says, stepping into the living room.
I refrain from pointing out the other times he let me down by telling me he’d be here and then bailing at the last minute. I told myself I wouldn’t make things harder for him, and I won’t. Although, I must admit that I was half expecting him to cancel on me tonight because that’s the way our dates have been lately. But I’m pleased to see him here, and I intend on enjoying this evening with him to the fullest.
He steps across the threshold and leans down, pressing his lips to mine. He cups my chin in his hand, tilting my head toward his, deepening the kiss. Any irritation I had about missed dates and canceled plans melts away. Slowly, he pulls away, giving me one last tender kiss before opening his eyes.
“I’ve missed you,” he says, gazing at me with hazy, dream-like eyes.
“I’ve missed you too,” I say, unable to pull my gaze away from his. “I hate that we don’t get to spend much time together.”
“You know I’d spend all my free time with you if I could. But sometimes things come up that can’t be avoided. It’s temporary though. My schedule won’t always be this bad.”
“I know. I just have to keep telling myself that.”
“Do you need to grab anything before we leave?”
I pick up my phone off the sofa table. “Now I’m all set.”
I see that Justin took my advice tonight. I told him to dress casually because it’s just my friends we’re going out with, nothing fancy. He did what I said and is wearing a pair of jeans and a linen button-down shirt. I’m wearing jeans and a maroon cable-knit sweater with my pink Converse.
My friends are meeting Justin and me at a sports bar tonight. It’s less than two miles from my place, but since the weather is dreary and drizzly, we’re driving. It takes us ten minutes to get there and about that long to find street parking. The restaurant, called The Dawg Bowl, may be a sports bar, but the interior and even the exterior are more upscale than that.
When I was in college, my friends and I used to come here for their cheap wing nights. There was no other place in town where you could get wings and a beer for five bucks, and the place was always packed on those days. Today is definitely not a cheap wing night, so the place isn’t stuffed to the gills when we enter. My friends sent a text while we were driving saying they got us a table, and it doesn’t take long to find where they’re seated.
Lorelei and Chelsea are seated together on one side of a booth, leaving room for Justin and me on the other side. Lorelei’s boyfriend Sam, who is also Justin’s friend, was supposed to be here tonight, but he’s at home sick with some stomach bug that’s been going around.
My friends look like they coordinated their outfits. They’re both wearing Huskies sweatshirts, although Lorelei’s is a hoodie and Chelsea’s is a crewneck.
“Hey, you two finally made it!” Lorelei says as Justin and I take our seats.
I notice that both of them have ordered drinks for themselves and are partway through them. “Yeah, so nice of you to wait on us to order,” I say with a slight eye roll.
“We would’ve ordered your usual for you too, but we weren’t sure what to order for Justin, so we just ordered for us,” Chelsea says.
Lorelei takes a sip of her beer. “And I was thirsty, so I made the decision.”
Thank goodness they didn’t order my usual, which is a blackberry hard cider made by a cidery right here in Seattle. This is one of the only restaurants in town to carry it, so I order it every time we come. But my friends don’t know that I’m pregnant and can’t drink, and I plan on keeping that news to myself for a while. Although I have no doubt that they’d be super supportive, I want to wait until after I get my first ultrasound.
Chelsea sticks out her hand to Justin. “It’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Chelsea.”
Justin shakes her hand. “It’s nice to meet you too. I’m Justin.”
Lorelei follows up with her own introduction, then our server comes to the table to take our drink order. When I order a soda, my friends don’t even attempt to hide their confusion.
Chelsea waits until our server leaves before saying, “Are you sick or something? I have never not known you to get the blackberry cider from here.”
Justin and I share a look and without saying anything, I plead with him not to say a word about the baby to my friends. “I just don’t feel like having a drink today,” I say with a shrug, trying to play it cool. “I’ve had a little bit of a headache most of the day and don’t want to add to it by having alcohol.” I hate lying to my friends, but the truth doesn’t need to come out yet.
“Maybe you’re coming down with the same thing that Sam has. He said his sickness started out with a headache,” Lorelei says.
I pretend to act concerned for my well-being. “Gosh, I hope it’s not that serious. I should be okay though because I haven’t been around anyone who’s been sick.”
“I take it you ladies have been here before? What’s the best thing to eat?” Justin asks, changing the topic.
“This used to be our hangout back in the day. That was back when a whole mess of wings and a beer could be called dinner,” Chelsea says. “But these days, we like to come here whenever we just need to get out but don’t want to go very far. I prefer their burgers. In fact, it’s what they’re known for. They’ve won awards for them.”
“Any particular one you like the most?” he asks.
Chelsea nods. “Their award-winning The Original Burger. They take this super thin beef patty and thinly sliced onions and cook them together on a griddle. It’s like they mash the patty into the onions, and then the edges of the patty get kinda crispy. A slice of cheese goes on, then it’s placed onto a soft bun. It’s so good. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.”
“Well, with a description like that, I’m sold,” Justin says. “And the fries are good?”
“They’re the best,” Lorelei says. “Seriously. Don’t skip the fries.”
Justin turns toward me for confirmation. “They’re both right. I think you should order The Original Burger and get as many fries as you can handle,” I say.
And when our server arrives, that’s exactly what he orders. In fact, we all order the same thing with the exception of Lorelei, who gets Swiss cheese and mushrooms on her burger.
While we’re waiting for our food, my friends waste no time trying to figure Justin out. They ask the usual questions about where he grew up, where he lives now, what high school he went to, and what sports he played. And leave it up to Chelsea to ask the questions that don’t really matter, like whether he’s a dog or cat person (he’s a dog person), and whether he’s Team Edward or Team Jacob (Team Edward all the way).
“So, Justin, Dahlia said you’re almost done with your journey to becoming a doctor,” Lorelei says.
Justin sits up a little straighter. “Yes, that’s right. I’m almost a full-fledged ob-gyn.”
Silence descends on our table. Chelsea and Lorelei both look at me, then at Justin, then at me again. Then they look down at the table, avoiding all eye contact with Justin. Chelsea starts playing with her napkin, and Lorelei clears her throat.
“Oh…an ob-gyn,” Lorelei says, trying to recover the conversation. “Dahlia didn’t tell us that.”
Justin looks over at me, and I don’t like the look on his face. It’s like he’s upset, disappointed, and holding back a bit of anger too. “She didn’t? Well, that’s what I’m working toward, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“Why would you want to do that?” Chelsea says. I kick her under the table and glare at her. We’re all adults here. Why does she need to make things more awkward than they already are? “Uh…sorry. That came out wrong. I meant why would you choose that specialty out of all the others available?”
“I have a lot of reasons, but I enjoy being able to bring new life into this world. For me, there’s nothing more rewarding.” He doesn’t elaborate and probably feels like my friends don’t deserve any further explanation. I can’t help but notice that Justin has adjusted his posture to put some distance between us. That hurts.
I’m scrambling for a way to save this conversation and this evening. But I’m coming up empty. There’s no way to spin the fact that I was too embarrassed to tell my friends about Justin’s chosen career path. The guy is going to be a doctor. A freakin’ doctor! That alone is worth celebrating. And he gets to help deliver babies. Some would call that a dream job, and a dream man because it takes a special person to want to enter a woman-dominated field to do that.
For the rest of the evening, the conversation is stilted and awkward. The food is good as always, but for me, it doesn’t go down easy. I only eat about half of my meal because all I really want to do is leave this place and talk to Justin—away from everyone. So I’m relieved when our check finally comes.
Justin, being the gentleman he is, takes care of the check and even lends me his hand to help me out of the booth. But I’m not dumb enough to think that he’s gotten over the way my friends reacted tonight. It’s all for show to let on that things are okay between us. I just know that as soon as we get in the car, I’m going to hear about it.
And he doesn’t disappoint. Once the car door closes, he doesn’t bother starting the engine, needing to get whatever’s on his mind out as soon as possible.
“Are you embarrassed by my choice of career?” he says, his gaze boring into mine.
I’m not going to lie to him. “I wouldn’t say I’m embarrassed. I was just waiting for the right time to tell them that you’re going to be an ob-gyn.”
“Why? What’s wrong with my career?”
“I don’t know,” I say with a shrug. “It’s just that when people think of a male doctor, the first thing that comes to mind isn’t usually an ob-gyn. It’s a female-dominated field. You can’t deny it.” He stays silent because he knows I’m right. “But that doesn’t mean men can’t be good ob-gyns. Dr. Tarlton is the best one I’ve ever had, and I’m sure you’ll be the same way. My friends think it’s weird that I see a male ob-gyn, and I didn’t want them to judge you before they met you.” I’m trying to salvage this conversation any way I can.
“Do your parents know about my career? Or am I going to be embarrassed in front of them too?”
“They know. I told them already. Why are you so sensitive about it anyway?”
“My whole entire college career I’ve had to deal with people laughing about my choice. Hell, my last girlfriend dumped me because she said she didn’t want to be with someone who looked at vaginas all day long.”
A laugh escapes my lips because I think he’s making a joke here, but judging by the expression on his face, he’s serious. My smile flattens immediately.
“It’s not funny. And if it’s a problem for you, then maybe it’s best we find out now before things get too far along.”
“It’s a little late for that,” I say, patting my stomach. “But if you want out of this situation, then say the words. Maybe it’s for the best since you’re so busy anyway. This child deserves parents who will be there, not ones that are going to cancel all the time.”
The moment the words leave my lips, I wish I could take them back. I hate myself for saying it. I told myself I wasn’t going to make things more difficult for him, and the moment things got rough, I used his hectic schedule against him. It’s our first fight, and I hate the way it feels.
“I’m sorry,” I say, wanting to reach over and touch him. But I leave him alone because I just know he’d pull away from my touch, and I don’t think my heart could take that kind of rejection. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
He stays quiet.
The ten minutes it takes to get back to my place feel like the longest ten minutes of my life. We’re silent the whole way, and the only noise is the windshield wipers creaking across the windshield as they push the rain away. When he pulls up to the curb, I sit there for a moment, refusing to get out. Refusing to believe that this is how our evening is going to end. But there’s no saving this evening, and at this point, I’m not sure what our future, if there is one, is going to look like.
I step onto the sidewalk and don’t bother turning back toward the car. I know Justin doesn’t want to see me anymore tonight. And before I reach the first step to the house, he’s gone.