Chapter 13 Kimberly
Kimberly
Three months later…
“We’re closing the case on the Sunrise program.”
My boss David appeared by my desk, a piece of paper in his hand. He slid it to me and I scanned it, noting it was an email from the forensic auditors confirming that their investigation was completed.
“The CFO Erin Rose testified under oath that she was the only person involved in the scheme, and the forensic team confirmed this. She’s out on bail awaiting trial, and the agency has made all the appropriate updates to internal controls to prevent something like this from happening again.
At the board’s request, we evaluated all their grant and contract revenue, not just the funding for the Sunrise program.
It turns out that the state wasn’t the only victim of the CFO’s deception. ”
“How much did she embezzle?” I asked.
“It’s been going on for years. She started with a few hundred a month, but like most thieves, she grew bolder the longer she went without being caught. Last year it was about fifty thousand dollars all told, and that’s assuming we found it all.”
“Damn. That sucks, that’s all money that didn’t go to their clients.”
“Yeah. But the board and executive director have taken this very seriously. They brought on consultants to help them redesign all their systems from top to bottom, and the board took responsibility for not monitoring the financials as closely as they should have.”
“So we’re not going to cancel their contract?” I confirmed.
David shook his head. “No. They’re on a heightened monitoring schedule with us for the next two years, but given the circumstances, we didn’t see any reason to pull the funding and make them shut down a program that’s having such great outcomes for homeless families.”
“Good.”
I spent the rest of the afternoon thinking about Gina. Well, honestly I’d spent a good chunk of my free brain space on my ex-girlfriend the last three months.
I hadn’t seen her or talked to her since the day we told her executive director Allison about the embezzlement.
It wouldn’t have been appropriate given that my office was investigating her program.
But the truth was, I was glad for the forced distance.
The more time we’d spent together, the more I could feel myself falling for her again.
I’d assumed that once we were apart those feelings would fade, but they hadn’t, which told me that what I felt was more than nostalgia.
“Never go back for seconds, that’s my motto,” my friend Tammy told me over beers one night.
I’d been talking about Gina for a full twenty minutes and good friend that she was, Tammy had listened patiently.
I wasn’t surprised by her words. She’d been one of the people who’d helped me pick up the pieces the first time around, and she had strong feelings about my ex-girlfriend, all of them negative.
“But she’s changed a lot. And I have too. She’s not the same person anymore.”
“Kim my love.” Tammy leaned forward to make sure I could tell she was serious. “I remember how it was when you two were together. She was so clingy and insecure, it drove us all crazy. And you were devastated when she dumped you, remember? She really hurt you.”
“I know, but I can’t stop thinking about her. Maybe we just didn’t meet at the right time in our lives,” I said hopefully. “And now is the right time.”
“Or maybe you never really got closure, and she dazzled you with her new confident facade during a time that you’re going through a very long dry spell.”
“I’m not in a dry spell.”
Tammy gave me her ‘don’t bullshit me’ look. “When was the last time you were with anyone?”
“I had that blind date with Kara’s friend, the one with the purple hair.”
“That was last summer. I remember because you complained that the AC was broken at the bar where you met her. So it’s been almost a year?”
I shrugged. “Maybe.”
Tammy studied me carefully. “Are you sure you’re not just lonely?”
I shook my head. “It’s hard to describe but being with Gina again, it was like finding a long-lost friend or putting on my favorite jeans – everything was comfortable and we just seem to fit together.”
I’d analyzed the time I spent with Gina for the audit over and over again the last three months, looking for any explanation for how I felt other than my still having feelings for her. I’d made pro and con lists about whether or not to suggest we try dating again.
“Have you guys talked since you finished your part of the audit?”
“No. When I left that day, we both acted casual like I was just the auditor and not someone she’d made out with the night before, which, given that we were both technically working, was appropriate. But we both know it will look bad to have contact while the investigation is ongoing.”
I’d been both impressed and depressed that Gina didn’t contact me, even though we’d both agreed that it would be inappropriate to talk during the investigation.
“And when the investigation is over?”
I met my friend’s gaze head-on. “I’ll see how I feel then, but if I’m still thinking about her, I might reach out.”
Tammy sighed. “I had a feeling you’d say that. Just be careful, okay? You know I’ll support you no matter what you decide, but I really don’t want to see you get your heart broken again.”
Tammy’s words were ringing in my ears when I walked up to Gina’s third floor apartment the day after the investigation closed.
I took a deep breath, then knocked on the door.
It was a Friday night, so she might be out doing something, but after considering my options for the last two days, I decided to stop by and see if we could talk.
I’d blocked her on social media, email, and the phone after we broke up, and while it was easy enough to undo it, I wanted to have this conversation in person.
I wanted to see her again. I wanted to know if what I’d felt during the audit was just a combination of nostalgic feelings and forced proximity, or if it was something that had survived a three month separation with no contact.
Because if we still had feelings for each other now, that told me something.
It told me it was more than lust, more than memories, it was something real.
I just hoped I wasn’t making a mistake by opening myself up to being hurt by Gina again.
Gina answered right away, almost as if she was expecting me. Or someone.
As soon as I saw her something deep inside me whispered, This one.
“Kimberly. Hi.” I couldn’t interpret her expression.
“Sorry to just drop by like this, but now that the investigation is over, I was hoping we could talk. But if it’s not a good time, I can come back another time.”
“It’s the perfect time,” she said. “Come on in.”
She was wearing faded jeans that hugged her slim body and a black tank top with purple bra straps peeking out.
With her hair down and no make-up on, she looked like the quintessential girl next door.
I followed her inside the apartment, cataloging how many things had changed since the last time I was here.
She’d replaced her thrift store couch and mismatched chairs with a mission style set that worked perfectly in the room.
The area rug and curtains were new since the last time I was here, as well as the throw pillows.
I was surprised to see that the kitchen counters were free of clutter.
The space was clean and organized, which was different from when we were together and Gina had struggled to control the mess.
“Were you expecting company?” I asked curiously, wondering if that was why her apartment seemed so uncharacteristically neat and tidy.
“No, why?”
“Just wondering.”
She gestured towards the couch. “Have a seat, can I get you a drink? I have root beer, water, beer, orange juice, or diet Pepsi.”
“Water’s good, thanks.”
I suddenly felt a little nervous. Maybe it was because I wasn’t one hundred percent sure why I was here or what I planned to say.
Maybe it was because things seemed so different in this place now that it was throwing me.
Or maybe it was because depending on the outcome of this conversation, I might be taking a really big risk.
“How have you been?” Gina asked, returning with two bottles of water.
She seemed cool and casual which made me relax a little too.
“Pretty good,” I said. “I heard yesterday that the state has closed their investigation into your agency.”
She heaved a big sigh. “Yeah, it’s a relief.
I mean, I’m glad we discovered what we did before Erin stole even more money, money that we could have used to help vulnerable families.
But I hate that it happened, and I hate that her actions put everyone in turmoil for three months.
I know it’s trite, but our agency is like one big family and finding out that one of your own is a thief, well that was hard for all of us. ”
“Do you know why she did it?” I asked.
Gina shrugged. “Allison’s theory is that it was a thrill.
Erin denied being a gambler, and she didn’t seem to have a lot of debt.
Maybe she just thought she deserved more money or something.
It’s hard to know. But it’s good we found what we did, because Sunrise wasn’t the only program she was stealing from. ”
“That sucks,” I said sympathetically, remembering David mentioning that the forensic auditors had helped evaluate the entire suite of programs. “Although I’m not at all surprised. Once people get away with something once, it’s hard to resist doing it again.”
“Yeah.”
We were both quiet for a few minutes while I worked up my nerve. “You’re probably wondering why I’m here.”
“I think I know,” she said quietly. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot too. I mean, that’s why you’re here, right? I assume you didn’t come here after three months of not talking to tell me you didn’t want to talk to me again.”
I smiled as relief rushed through me.
“I definitely want to see you again given that we’re both feeling the same way,” I said.
“The thing is, when we dated before, we jumped right into the sex and the living together and we never took the time to get to know each other. You were my lover, but you were not my friend, and the thing is, friendship should be a base for any good relationship.”
“I agree. So what are you proposing? That we should be friends?”
I nodded. “Yeah, let’s get to know each other for who we are now. No dating, just friends and if the attraction is still there, we can talk about maybe being more.”
While Gina considered my words I felt the air between us become heated.
“Friends,” she said softly. “Just friends. Okay. I can do that.”
“Great.”
We exchanged another long look, this one charged with something that felt dangerous. I wasn’t sure how it happened, but suddenly we were both moving towards each other. Our lips crashed together and then, before I knew it was happening, we were kissing like our lives depended on it.