Chapter 30 Peace
Peace
I help her off the bed after sliding on her flat shoes. Surprisingly, she’s going to church with her grandma today. She slips her hand off my shoulder and I straighten my shirt. I’m not going with them… so don’t even think about it. Mi just a drop har off a har grandmother.
Jah Jah… sinnaz fi dayz, my subconscious chuckles.
Mi believe inna God, but yuh cyaa get me inna church… yuh mad? She groans, leaning on the bed, and I glance down at her. Her head shifts to the side and I spot two fresh hickeys on her neck… and three on her breast. I adjust her dress slightly, covering them. Cyaa mek the church people dem see dat.
Ha… and yuh neck full a hickey enuh, Nickoi, but yuh nuh affi cover yours.
Zara, Zara, Zara, I call her name in my head, slow and deliberate, reminiscing.
She starts blushing. “What?” she asks all innocent. Who she think she a fool?
She behaved like a whole devil earlier… now look at her, goin’ to church like she holy and saved. Hm. The irony.
“Jah Jah,” I smile at the thought, still looking at her groaning.
“You a feel pain, Mami?” I ask, even though I already know the answer. She yawns, barely covering her mouth and nods slowly.
But must, my subconscious grins.
“Just a little pain in my legs,” she says.
“You tired?” I ask with a cocky smirk, knowing full well she is. Another yawn slips out and I can’t even hide my smile. It’s 9 o’clock now. We woke up at 7:30. Showered together. Got dressed. And that’s not even half the story. Just know, my morning was great. I’ll leave it there.
“Yes, Nickoi,” she blushes, turning her head away. I hold her face gently, turning it back so she looks at me. I stay quiet, studying her features. She blinks up at me, those sleepy eyes still glistening. After a few seconds of silence, I smile. She nice enuh. Swear.
“You just a smile so,” she chuckles, picking up her purse. “A wah you a think bout me?” You wah know? Mi nuh think yuh really wah know, Mami.
“Nuff things,” I reply with a grin. Zara glances at me, shaking her head. The look on her face tells me she already have an idea.
“Mi know wah you a think… nasty,” she rolls her eyes and shoves me playfully as she walks past. My eyes lock onto her ass.
Instinct. I bite my bottom lip, taking her in from behind, blue dress hugging every curve, suede shoes clicking soft on the tile, long black hair brushing just below her butt.
Clova styled her yesterday for the baby shower tomorrow.
She look good enuh, my subconscious whistles.
I smile to myself. Still cya believe a my woman, dawg.
Yuh better believe. Hard work pay off, my subconscious claps.
She reaches the door and glances back just as I punch in the password to unlock the box where I keep my Glock.
Had it there a while now. “Come on nuh babe, mi suppose to meet up with Mama now.”
I look up at her. “Mi a fawud, Mami,” I say, and she slowly eases the door shut.
I take out my gun and tuck it in my waist. Mi nuh intend fi use it, but mi affi have it, just in case. Hm… weh Zara say? my subconscious drags me back to that embarrassing day. Jah… doh even remind mi. Mi did feel like a clown yuh fret.
“Nickoi!” she calls again. I walk out and meet her by the door. She was halfway walking back in.
“Chro,” she hisses, face all twisted in annoyance. I chuckle. Girl impatient bad.
“So yuh well wah reach church?” I ask as we head down the stairs.
“Yes, mi excited fi learn and worship,” she says, sounding serious. I turn to face her when we reach the bottom.
“Eeeh? So yuh nuh tired?”
“Yes,” she nods.
“Well as far as mi see, yuh nah guh learn nuttn… cause a bare sleep yuh ago sleep,” I smirk. She catches the hint and laughs. Good. Mi like that she sharp.
“Bwoy yuh come in like Gavin eeh? Unuh nuh have no chill,” she says, pulling open the Benz’s back door. Who come in like Gavin?
“Uh uh,” I stop her.
She pauses, confused. “Fix up that,” I say.
She laughs. “Mi mean, you and him nuh let go things, especially when unuh feel like yuh affi talk bout it.”
“Mi know, but nuh seh that… the bwoy Gavin different,” I say, sliding into the car. When I glance at her in the backseat, she watching me with a weird expression. She offended?
“Waam?” I ask, locking eyes with her through the mirror.
“Nothing,” she sighs, turning her head to the window. She feel a way enuh. I strap in and ease the car out the driveway, slow.
“Mami?” I try again, soft. She waves at Joe outside instead of answering. Mi know mi come off mean earlier, but she bout fi get mi real mad if she deal wid mi so.
“Mami?” I call again, this time, serious.
“Nickoi?” she exhales, eyes cutting to me in the rearview.
“Mi respect yuh family, yuh hear? In other words, mi respect yuh cousin, but certain energy mi nuh wah associate wid.” Mi nah walk and diss the man, but mi nuh like the comparison.
“Mi nuh wah yuh talk bout him so,” she bites out. “Yes, him act girly or whatever, but him have a girlfriend and him nah chat bout you so.” Wah this?
“Yow, a who yuh a argue wid? Mi a talk, not argue,” I say, holding back. She rolls her eyes and lets out a loud hiss. Wah? My grip tightens on the steering wheel. She really a deal wid mi so? Kiss teeth and all? Then she mumbles the one thing mi hate.
“Nuh seh nothing to me.”I blink. Mi a disappoint miself lately…
Mi really a mek a woman deal wid mi so? I stare out the windshield, jaw tense.
If she ever know how mi hate disrespect.
Especially over something we could’ve talk out.
True mi love har, she a get weh. My eyes flick back to the mirror.
She’s mumbling again, then hiss. My face harden.
But because of love, mi fi mek she pass har place? Up to you, mi killa.
“If yuh kiss yuh teeth one more time, mi lick yuh inna yuh mouth,” I threaten without flinching. Mi know yuh just a seh that… but would yuh really do it? my subconscious asks.
“Nickoi, come dweet,” she fires back, pure attitude. I pull over instantly, parking on the side of the road. She think yuh fraid? But then again, a Zara… ‘as if yuh go dweet’, my subconscious jeer.
I spin around in the seat. “Seh that again.”
“Come dweet,” she repeats, bold. I reach forward and grip her cheeks, squeezing firm.
“Ow!” she flinches, trying to push me off. I squeeze harder, glaring into her face. She stares back, eyes blazing.
“Nah go lick yuh enuh,” I say low and slow, “But dat nuh mean other things nuh deh out deh fi mi do to yuh.”
“Stop,” she snaps, pushing at my hand. I grab her wrist with my free hand, cheeks still locked tight in my grip. Doh ramp wid the Don.
“A foolishness dis. Something we coulda talk out calm. But yuh attitude mek it reach yah so,” I tell her, still staring her down. Mi know yuh wouldn’t hit her… but deep down, it’s in you, my subconscious says again.
“Know mi stay like mi father… but one thing mi nah do is beat woman like him do mi madda, mi nah follow dat.” I let go of her slowly.
“So nuh be like Juaqína and figet who man be cause yuh feel man nah go put mi hand pan yuh. If yuh push mi, mi a go find a way fi punish yuh. So watch yuh self, and watch yuh mouth.” I lean back in my seat.
Silence choke up the car again. I drive off in silemce.
When we reach, I park and blow the horn.
A few seconds pass and I see them, Mama and Michelle waving as they walk out. I wind down the window.
“Hey Nickoi!” they say in unison, bright smiles.
“Morning. Unuh good?” I ask.
“Yes, mi just deh wonder how unuh take so long,” Mama says.
“Yeah,” Michelle adds.
“A traffic wul wi up,” I say calmly, finger trailing over the Benz sign, waiting.
But the door nah budge. Why she nah come out? I turn, looking at her, and she’s just staring. Eyes fixed on me. She opens her mouth, about to talk, but I beat her to it.
“Everything gov,” I say, cutting her off. She tilts her head slightly, jaw tightening. Then she speaks, different this time.
“Nickoi, yuh temper? It likkle bit too short fi me. It neva dat deep,” she continues.
“Mi cousin might be different and act girly but him nah disrespect yuh. So don’t disrespect him. Worse, not in front of me.” She’s looking right through me.
“And mek mi tell yuh this straight. Two place mi nah go wid yuh, and a back and forth. We a big people. Two innocent human beings bout to call we Mommy and Daddy, so don’t ever hold me up like that again.
Especially over something that trivial.” She pause, just long enough to make sure I really hear her. “Don’t play wid me.”
I lean back slightly in my seat. Silent.
She didn’t shout. She didn’t cuss. But mi feel every word.
I open my mouth, then close it. Whole time mi just stare at her, genuinely stunned.
Like who is this woman? Is this the same Zara mi know?
The one who used to fold up even if mi nuh raise mi voice?
Mi not even know wah fi say. Mi rate it still…
but mi shock. She gasps, hand flying to her belly.
I sit up straight. “Zara?” She smiles, wide and soft, rubbing her stomach gently.
“Nickoi… dem move!” My eyes light up same time.
“Fi real?” I ask, moving closer to her, placing my hand on her belly. She puts her hand on top of mine. Stubborn pitney dem wait till eight months fi start kick.
Then her mom pops her head through the window.
“How unuh still in the car s—?”
Zara cuts in. “The baby dem just kick, Mommy!”
Her mother gasps, eyes wide. “Wow… really?! Gavin, Mommy, come here now!”
My hand still on her belly, watching her. Mi brain still a catch up to how she handled me just now. But mi can’t even be mad… I’m impressed.
ZARA