Chapter 34 North Coast
North Coast
The sun feels cruel today, almost like Jamaica borrowed an extra sun from somewhere.
I’m in the Pizza Hut drive-thru, stuck behind four cars, and the line’s barely crawling.
Sweat sticks to the back of my thighs, and even with the AC on, I feel like I’m baking.
Thank God for Gavin. Gavin on the phone distracting me with pure mixup.
Apparently Sash deh talk to a bad man from Denham Town now.
“Zara, wah mi seh? Mi nah look!” he barks.
I laugh. “Why am I laughing? This isn’t even funny.” But sometimes, yuh affi tek serious things and mek joke. I glance toward the entrance of the building. People walking in and out with bags and boxes, looking way too calm while I sit here melting.
“Mi seh afta she have Marko, the wannabe bad man weh beat har, now she gone deh wid one more Denham Town bwoy? Zara, wah mi seh? Mi nah look pon har when lick start reach har skin,” Gavin continues.
Then he adds, “Mi nuh know wah suh buzzy ‘bout the likkle mawga bad man dem. She never have a decent man yet, or even a decent-looking one. Har body just a jump fi the drumstick dem.” I burst out laughing.
“Yuh talk to her?” I ask, once the laughter fades.
“Who? Zara, mi nuh business ‘bout har. A dat life she wah live.” I sigh and move up slightly in the line. My nails tap against my rhinestone steering wheel.
“What time yuh think you’ll get through?” Gavin asks. I peer ahead, estimating.
“Maybe fifteen more minutes.”
He sighs. “The journey long… a St. Ann enuh. And a toll, too. Yuh go tek long fi ready, and mi nuh wah night catch wi.” I need to move fast. But this damn pizza…
The radio plays something catchy, and I sway slightly in my seat, dancing to the beat. A guy steps out of a black Axio, and I pause. He looks familiar. Tall, lean, sharp jawline, quiet confidence. Definitely a Jacobs. There’s a petite girl behind him.
A loud honk behind me snaps me out of my stare.
“Yow, gwope inna the line nuh!” a man shouts.
I inch forward, muttering under my breath.
Yeah, man, yuh love gaze. By the time I get to the window, it’s 1 PM.
I’ve been here since just after 12. The things I do for food.
I park at the side and check my phone. A message from Nickoi.
He wants food from his aunt’s restaurant too? I call. He answers immediately.
“Mami?” His voice warms me. I hear giggles in the background, our babies.
My heart softens. “Aww, they’re playing?”
“Dem been a play,” he chuckles.
“So yeah, I just got the pizza, but then I see your message…” I trail off, hoping he could read my mind that I didn’t wanna do that.
“Wah dat mean? Mi still want the food.”
I groan. “Babe, I’ve been in the line for an hour. The sun hot. I’m drained. Now you want me go join a next line?”
He laughs. “Hear how she miserable.”
I lean back and watch the street. “Yuh nuh love me?” he teases.
“Of course… but this is too much.”
“How much yuh love me?”
“Like… I’d get pregnant for you again.” Silence. Then laughter.
“After dat labour? Nah. Mi nah do yuh dat.” I grin, even though I’m serious about the pills this time. Still, a part of me feels lucky they failed before. I wouldn’t have my babies otherwise. I start the car, ready to drive out. Then I spot the couple again. Jordane.
“Miss Williams,” he calls, raising his hand. He walks over, the girl right behind him. It’s the banker.
“Jordane,” I smile. “How long since we’ve seen each other?”
He laughs. “Bout three, four months.” He looks older. Still handsome, just more grown. Beard more full, hair longer. He’s light-skinned like milk.
“Ohh, it’s been a while,” I say to the girl.
She smiles. “Hi. I just craved some cheese pizza, and Jordy brought me.” Craved? Why she use that word? Is it giving pregnant? Maybe I’m overthinking.
“Well, nice seeing you both. I’ve gotta go.”
“Tell Nick mi soon link him… and kiss mi twin dem,” Jordane says. I nod, wave, and head out, my mind still circling around that “crave.”
When I get home, the house is too quiet.
“Nickoi,” I call, tossing my bag onto the couch and placing the pizza on the island.
Nothing. I head upstairs. I push open the bedroom door, and smile.
He’s lying on the bed, phone in his hand, the babies snuggled beside him.
Zahira tucked under his arm. Zahir half-stretched across his chest.
“They love you,” I blush. He glances up with a grin. I lean over and kiss his lips.
“I love you.”
“I love you more Mami.” I stand in front of the mirror and begin undressing.
“Do you?”
He nods. “I do.” Watch him still a practice. When it’s our wedding day, somebody a guh ready.
“But not more than the babies,” he smirks. I tilt my head, I can’t be mad at that. I step out of my dress, toss it into the laundry, and wrap a towel around my body. He watches me from the bed, pretending to be focused on his phone. I smile and head into the bathroom.
***
“Yuh cya surprise mi?” Gavin mutters, tying my pink Bridgets for me.
I’m in a white floral doll dress, short and cute.
I admire the way it shapes my body, especially from the back.
No wonder babe keeps stealing glances. “Everywhere we go, yuh make people late. Yuh cya change?” Gavin hisses under his breath.
“Gavin, easy nuh man,” Sash laughs from the doorway. My eyes drift to Nickoi, who’s mid-chew, brown stew fish in his plate, eyes locked on me.
“Zara dat man,” he mumbles with a smirk.
“Yay-yay,” I sing, grinning to grab his attention.
“Gutta a fawud wid you,” he tells me, nodding toward Gutta, who’s glued to his phone. I frown slightly. Nickoi catches it instantly.
“I just want to feel normal,” I whisper low enough for only him to hear.
He exhales. “Ah… just mek sure your phone charge. And no stop nowhere else. Straight there and back, yuh hear?” I nod.
Meanwhile, I catch Sash eyeing Gutta like she can’t help herself.
Gutta looks up, meets her gaze, and she instantly coughs and looks away.
Gavin’s already at the door, telling everyone goodbye, but his glare lands on me. He’s still annoyed.
I lean into Nickoi and press a soft kiss on his lips. “I love you. Take care of our babies like you always do.” He pauses, eyes locking with mine, this time not with lust, but something deeper. Something unsettled.
“Zara,” he says, voice steady.
“Yes?” I ask softly.
“Mi know yuh just want to enjoy life and spend time wid yuh fam… but it’s a risk for me. You know that, right?”
I nod slowly. “Yeah.” He reaches into his pocket and presses something into my hand. Pepper spray. My gut tells me that wasn’t what he originally planned to give me.
“Okay,” I murmur.
“We need fi talk later… but go enjoy yourself,” he says, his tone serious. He goes back to eating. I slide the pepper spray into my bag. One second… two. He doesn’t kiss me again. He always does. It’s our thing. Something’s wrong.
“Babe… the kiss?” I whisper. He wipes his mouth and leans over to kiss me, but it feels… different. Distant. I hesitate, then meet his gaze and give him the look. The one that says I know something’s wrong.
He sighs. “Not right now… later when yuh fawud.” I nod.
“I love you though, and I’m gonna drive safe,” I remind him, another thing he usually says.
I glance at Gutta. “Later, Gutta.”
“Alright. Be careful and have fun,” he replies, barely looking up. I close the door. Pause. Glance back one more time. Nickoi’s eating again, but his energy’s off and it doesn’t sit right with me. Yeah… we definitely need to talk later.
***
I park the car, cut the engine, and exhale.
I really just drove from St. Andrew to St. Ann without hitting a single soul.
No scrapes, no nutt’n. The voice in my head pipes up: A the furthest yuh ever drive.
Yupppp. And I parked like a damn pro too.
Might be new to this, but I’m good at it already.
Sash points at the red and black “Plantation Smokehouse” sign, excitement in her voice.
“Gav, mi wah take a picture over there.”
“So take it then,” he shrugs. I hear the sarcasm. So does she.
“Gav…” she drags his name, trying to sweeten her tone.
“Is only when you want something mi hear yuh call mi like dat,” he mutters, but he’s smiling.
“But mi wah use your phone,” she pouts.
“My storage full. Use Zara camera.” I already got her covered.
Once we’re outside, I don’t play about the pics.
My digital cam been charged and ready. I pass it to her, and we take turns snapping pics.
I even send one to Nickoi. Then I catch myself biting my lip and instantly feel dumb.
Girl, relax. The man is two hours away and you over here acting up. Why am I like this?
“Mi affi beg smaddy now,” Gavin says, looking around. “Mi want one wid all a we before wi order the food.”
“Leave that to me,” Sash beams, catching the attention of a guy walking by. He stops. No hesitation. He’s giving… neat. Put together, work shirt still tucked, tie still straight. Corporate vibes.
Once upon a time, my subconscious starts, Zara liked men like this.
Then a Don swept her off her feet and now she only responds to romantic niggas with a likkle romace.
I almost laugh. She’s not wrong. Nickoi messed me up, in the best way.
I used to be into clean, good-guy energy.
Now? I like my men with guns and a little unhinged.
“ZARA,” Gavin calls, dragging me out my head. They’re all staring at me. I blink.
“You good?”
I nod, trying not to look as spaced out as I feel. “Yeah. I zoned out for a sec.” The stranger takes our picture. We pose, smile, laugh like nothing happened.
“Nice,” he says after. That’s it? Just nice? Nickoi would’ve flirted, complimented, maybe whispered something in my ear to make me blush. With him, it’s always butterflies, even over text. I glance at the guy again. Yeah… this ain’t it.
“You ready to go sit down and order?” Sash asks, bouncing on her heels. She’s already tired.