Chapter 43 Elated
Elated
Nickoi leans back on the bed, scanning me slow like he’s trying to read
every thought. He licks his lips before pulling out his vape.
“Wah yuh wah talk ‘bout?” The smoke eases from his lips, and I swear I forget my own name for a second. His eyes halfway closed like he’s high.
Tired too. Was he sleeping? I watch him a beat longer before smiling sheepishly.
“You’ve been losing sleep, Nickoi?” He shrugs.
“Nuh really. Mi sleep, just… not enough.” I crawl closer on the bed and find his hand.
“Mi wah talk ‘bout us.” Fingers laced. He’s quiet, staring at our hands.
Then: “Yuh did miss me?” The way him ask it feel like he’s testing the waters.
“Of course,” I roll my eyes. His smile tugs atthe corner of his mouth.
“Mi did miss yuh too,” he says, thumb rubbing my skin like he’s tryna calm something inside him. I rest my head on his chest, heartbeat steady beneath my cheek. “Itwork?” he asks. I already know what hemean. I nod with a small smile, eyes drifting to the crib.
“It make mi appreciate yuh more. When mi deh in the bed and yuh not beside me or even in the office, mi feel like mi lose yuh… like mi push yuh weh with my bad temper.” He doesn’t interrupt. Just listens. “Mi nah go ask why yuh do it, cause mi already know.”
His voice drops low. “Mi never mean fi hurt yuh. A just… when yuh diss mi, mi feel like yuh lose respect fi mi. Mi couldn’t take that. A first somebody ever go there wid me, so mi retaliate. Mi did plan fi do more but…” He pauses. “This happen. And mi proud still, cause it work.”
I touch his arm, letting him know I’m hearing him. “I’m sorry,” I say. “For everything. Fi make yuh deal wid things yuh nuh used to.”
He exhales. “I’m sorry… mi just never show up last night.”
I laugh, embarrassed. “Mi did shame bad enuh, all tears come out a mi eyes.”
He laughs too, then goes quiet again, rubbing my arm. “Wish we could stay this way all the time,” he says.
“No argument, no insecurities, just love and peace.” My heart flutters when he asks, “Yuh think we can do that?” I sigh.
“It can’t always be perfect.”
“Mi know. But it’s always some sort of insecurity mash we up.” He looks at me serious.
“Yuh think yuh can get rid of them?” I hesitate. The way he’s watching me… it feels like my soul under a microscope.
He sits up.
“Mi deh yah a year and change now. Still nah get tired of yuh. Still counting the months. Mi not even member mi ex dem name. But you? Mi love yuh a likkle more every day. Mi admire yuh. Plan how fi spoil yuh. Try fi always keep that pretty smile on yuh face and yuh still nuh see that?” His honesty chokes me.
Before I can answer, he pulls me down on him and kiss me roughly.
“I… I know..” I get out, our lips in synch.
We don’t stop. We can’t stop. Thirty minutes rolls by quickly, we’re wrapped up in each other.
His lips trail mine like he’s trying to memorize me again.
When my hand brushes his waist and feels the cold metal, I pause, then ease the gun from his pants. He watches me, doesn’t move.
“It’s okay babe… mi a put it down for you,” I say softly, locking it in the cabinet like it’s part of our routine. Truth is, mi still a get used to the feeling, but I want him to see me trying.
“Yuh sure you good wid it?” he asks. I nod, lips curling into a smile.
“Mi still get nervous, but mi alright. Mi a learn fi live wid it.”
My lips press against his neck and he chuckles low, pulling me closer. We kiss until his lips trail down my jaw, but when he pulls back, he says he’s going to shower. I climb off the bed like it’s a reflex.
“Mi already bathe… mi just wah stay in deh wid yuh.” He’s in the tub now, water glistening off his skin. I sit on the counter watching him, and the whole bathroom feels like a scene.
“Bathing twice inna one night a nuh crime,” he teases and I laugh.
“It’s not, but it unnecessary,” mi smirk, checking my reflection in the mirror.
“My skin a glow bad, babe… look pan mi face!” The fog hides him, but I hear his chuckle. My heart feel light again. An hour ago mi heart did tight with worry, Zahir bawling, me pan edge. Now, everything calm. Love feel easy again.
“We need teething toys,” I mutter, still admiring my face.
“Yah,” he responds, voice deep behind the steam.
***
The Next Day…
By the time we’re downstairs, the place is warm with life. Janel is here. Nicki is feeding the babies. Nickoi sits around the island eating granola, fresh as hell in black tee and LV shorts.
I walk up and kiss his cheek, then lean in and bite a piece of his granola just to mess wid him. No reaction. This man really a ignore mi? I laugh.
“Bwoy, you a suh’m else.” I say and join Nicki. “Wah yuh making?”
“Avocado toast… if him want more,” she reply. I stroll back to Mr. Fine.
“Yuh nuh answer mi question enuh,” I climb on the stool beside him.
“Which question?”
“Mi ask weh yuh a go,” I say, tilting my head.
“Mi a go a Jet mother place, then check the business.” I smile once he says that.
“Mi can come?” I tilt my head. He glances up then nods.
“Mi aguh bathe and get ready,” I say, already heading back upstairs.
I feel like a whole snack when I’m done. White fitted top with “sexy” bold in the middle, tight jeans, white Hermès slides. Hair sleek, lashes on. I spray on my YSL perfume and grab my clutch. When I walk back out, Janel starts hyping me up.
“You look nice eeeeh sister gyal!”
Nicki grins too, holding Zahir. “Girl, yuh come out eeeh!”
I flick my hair, lowkey blushing then I kiss Zahir.
“Mommy aguh buy yuh toy today.” I kiss Zahira too, my little pumpkin. Then we leave. In the Benz, we’re matching. White top, denim, lowkey fly. I take a picture of us, then zone out. At Gregory Park, he pull over at a modest house.
“Mi a drop this off, soon fawud.” I nod, eyes scanning the neighborhood. Men posted up, casual but alert. I recognize that look, they’re watching everything. When Nickoi slide back in the car, I smile.
“You never take long, man.”
He drives off.
“Yuh wah suh’m fi eat?”
“Nah, just water.” He nods and pulls up at a gas station. When he come back, he hands me a bag. I open it, and see water and snacks. “Thanks,” I grin.
One thing him aguh do a spoil me.
We reach the underground and I already feel that weight shift. Same concrete walls, same tension in the air. The moment we step in, everything stops. They greet me, with respect. I let out a breath and smile, waving back.
“Everybody Gov?” Nickoi asks, tone casual but respected.
“Wi Gov enuh, mi killa,” Gutta answers. Then the place goes back to motion.
I follow Nickoi to the back where Scarface pulls out a chair for me.
Nickoi sits at the desk, his focus on the screen.
Gutta by his side like his second brain, both of them glued to the MacBook.
I watch the others work, guns tucked, their moves calculated.
These men are not just gangsters, they look businessmen.
Dangerous, white collar ones…
Anna breaks my thoughts when she walks in with a bright smile, her energy high.
“Pretty gyal Zara!” she hugs me then her attention shifts. “Nick, the yacht available Friday. Wi could do the party then.” I blink.
Party?
“Mi might busy Friday but mi o’ make it work,” he says, barely looking up.
“That mi wah hear!” she squeals, eyes twinkling. Gutta smiling too. I notice the softness in him when she talks to him. Anna clearly don’t know how him did a mess ‘round with Sash. Or maybe she know, but still trying.
“Zara, yuh affi come too,” she says, looking back at me.
“How yuh mean?” Gutta laughs. “Don cyaa leff him wife.”
I smile, eyes drifting back to Nickoi. He doesn’t even look up, but I can tell… he’s smiling too. The whole room feels lighter, and somehow… it feels like home.