Chapter 29
Taylor
The crowded restaurant outside the bathroom door seemed like a distant memory as I rushed inside, my concern for Wyatt growing with each step.
The door swung open, revealing the lavishly adorned space—marble countertops, golden fixtures, and the soft glow of ambient lighting casting a warm aura over everything.
And there, in the middle of it all, on the cold floor, was Wyatt.
She sat crumpled in a heap, her knees huddled to her chest as she rocked back and forth, having a full-blown panic attack.
Her usually vibrant eyes were wide with fear, shot red from the tears that were streaming uncontrollably.
Every breath seemed a struggle, as if the air was too thick for her lungs to bear, and she had to gulp it in to get it to work.
I was frozen to the spot, wanting to help her, to fix her, but not being able to move. I’d never seen her like this, and it cut through me like an icy knife. She looked so fragile, so afraid.
“Wyatt…” I breathed, noticing how the ambiance of the upscale bathroom clashed starkly with the vulnerability in her eyes. I took a step, then another, realizing that I was able to move again.
But the door to one of the stalls opened and a woman started out, stopping dead in her tracks when she laid eyes on us. I couldn’t imagine what she must’ve thought, but I didn’t care either.
“Get out of here.” I spoke through gritted teeth, taking her by the sleeve and dragging her out of the bathroom. I slammed the door behind her and locked it, my chest heaving.
When I turned back to Wyatt, her head had dropped to her knees, her body quaking with the sobs that wracked through her. I dropped to the floor and scrambled to her side, scooping her into my arms.
“Shhh, it’s okay, it’s okay. I’m here.” I gently smoothed her hair and placed the softest kiss on the top of her head. “Breathe… just breathe…”
“I’m s-sorry,” she gasped, her voice breaking as a fresh spurt of crying started up.
“Hey, look at me.” I took her face in my hands, forcing her to do as I said. “You’re safe. Just focus on your breath, okay?”
A storm of emotions swirled behind those green eyes and it broke my heart to look into them. Beads of perspiration clung to her forehead, her hands trembling violently as she grasped at my dress. It was as though she was looking for something solid to anchor herself to.
“There’s no sorry,” I said then, kissing her head again, then her cheek, and the other one. “There’s just us. You and me. I’m here, Wyatt. Breathe.”
She heaved, choking down a gulp of air, but nowhere closer to reaching some kind of equilibrium. I’d never felt so helpless in my life. Put me in a boardroom and I could conquer the world, but this…
“Purple!” The thought came to me so quickly I yelled it out, making Wyatt jump in my arms. “Five things that are purple… come on, baby, you’ve got this. Look around.”
My eyes darted around the bathroom as I sent up a silent prayer that this would work. I remembered her telling me about the method back at the cabin, and she seemed to have some faith in it.
“There… the frill, on the- on the ottoman. You see it?” Desperation, excitement, there was no way to distinguish between what I felt when I spotted that violet frill. “Now you. Can you see anything else? Come on, breathe.”
Wyatt sniffled, fighting to get her breathing under control as she scanned the bathroom. “L-lavender…” She lifted a limp finger to point at the girl’s bouquet in the watercolor painting on the wall.
“Good, that’s great, baby. Keep going.” I held onto her tightly, rubbing her arm.
Wyatt took a deep breath and let it slowly shudder out of her. “The cap… lotion.”
It was working. She was calming down.
“Yes, the cap on the hand lotion. That’s three. You’ve got this.”
Wyatt turned her tearful gaze my way, her lower lip quivering as she reached up to cup my cheek. Her fingers fiddled softly with my ear.
“Amethyst… your earring.” Then she broke again, burying her face in my chest. “I’m so sorry, Taylor. I’ve ruined your night.”
“I’d accept your apology if that’s what happened,” I murmured, my lips brushing against her hair with the way I was holding her. “But I don’t give a damn about my night if you’re not okay. That’s the only thing I care about, Wyatt. You. You’re all I care about.”
Her body relaxed in my arms, that volatile tension that was holding her together moments ago slowly seeping out of it. She was beginning to feel like Wyatt again, like the woman I remembered from the mountains. The one I’d fallen in love with.
“If anything, I’m the one who should apologize,” I said then, shifting so I could look her in the eye. “I was off base, making you face the reporters like that. I should’ve-”
“No, it’s not that.” Wyatt’s thumb traced slow lines on my cheek.
“I… There’s a reason I walked away from my career as an EMT.
Why I moved away from everyone and everything.
It’s- There was a case where… I lost a patient while delivering her baby.
I messed up. I didn’t save her. And her husband, he-”
Another harrowing sob started but Wyatt gulped it back, pursing her lips tightly as her body started shaking again. I could feel her slipping and tightened my embrace. I couldn’t let her go that way again.
“It’s not your fault.” I tried comforting her from a logical perspective. “These things ha-”
“No.” She shook her head vehemently, unwilling to hear reason.
“That kid has to grow up without a mother because of me. I should’ve done better.
I missed something, and that woman died.
That’s why I left, so I didn’t put anyone else through that kind of pain.
I left because people are better off without me around. ”
It hit me like a freight train on speed. Wyatt wasn’t just struggling with regular anxiety. Her PTSD ran deeper than I could’ve guessed, and I was exclusively responsible for her current state.
The woman I loved was crumpled up on the floor of a public restroom because I talked her into coming back to the city with me. I was the idiot who thought being with me would fix whatever anxiety she had.
“You know that’s not true,” I said softly, my voice filled with a mixture of compassion and guilt. “I, for one, am not better off. You saved me up in those mountains, and just having you near me…”
Now I was the one getting choked up. I could feel the pain that radiated through Wyatt’s body, twisting her up in knots. I felt it, and I hated that it was what she’d been living with for years. But that wasn’t the reason I got so emotional.
“It’s my fault you’re here, like this,” I said, brushing the hair from her face. “I shouldn’t have made you come back here with me. I should’ve-”
“I wanted to come,” Wyatt broke in. “I love you, Taylor. I’d go anywhere with you.”
It was the first time she’d said it, and hearing the words broke the last thread that was holding my shit together on that floor with her. Warm tears spilled from my eyes, and I gave a soft chuckle.
“Back out there?”
Wyatt spluttered a little sniffling laugh, dragging her arm across her face to wipe the moistness that had gathered there.
“Maybe not just yet,” she said with a sad smile. “Give me a second to clean up first.”
She pulled away from me and made to stand, but I gripped her hand and stopped her.
“Seriously, though, Wyatt.” My gaze bore into hers. “I’d understand if you wanted to go back. That was your home, and you felt safe there. If that’s what you want, then I’d support you. I’ll support you no matter what.”
This time when she smiled at me it wasn’t sad.
Her green eyes even held a bit of a sparkle, removed from the distress she’d been in a moment before.
Wyatt leaned in and pressed her lips to mine in a chaste kiss that confirmed her words.
It felt good. She felt good. Like the woman I’d fallen in love with in the mountains.
I parted my lips slightly and Wyatt accepted the invitation, languidly sliding her tongue into my mouth.
Now I wasn’t the only one holding on, with her hands reaching up to clasp the back of my neck.
It was the closeness I’d been pining for all day since she left me in my office to deal with the Delaney saga.
By the way she held onto me, I could tell it was what she’d been longing for too. I drank her in, deepening the kiss to savor more of her sweet taste. When we finally broke, my breath was ragged, chest damn near split open with the way my heart had swelled up.
“I want you,” she said simply, resting her forehead against mine. “I feel safe with you.”