Chapter 26
The skip outside Eliza’s house this Saturday afternoon was full to the brim with broken tiles, chunks of plaster, and an awful lot of garden debris.
A sign in her front garden told the world the name of the construction company doing the demolition, should they want their house beaten up, too.
Eliza had told me it was an extensive renovation, but I hadn’t appreciated the scale until I arrived at the front door.
I knocked on the door, which was ajar, but I was pretty sure nobody was going to hear me over the hammering and drilling coming from close quarters. I called out as I stepped inside, my voice echoing off smooth plastered walls with dangling wires and the occasional punched hole.
I walked past three builders having a coffee and phone break, and spotted Eliza out the back, directly in my eyeline.
I walked through the half-installed kitchen and out the bifold doors, to where Eliza stood in what would be an impressive courtyard garden when it was tidied up, but was currently full of excess tiles, a cement mixer, three bikes, and a ton of roofing material.
“I’m not going to do that, and it’s not fair of you to ask me.” Eliza’s voice was firm, with an edge to it I hadn’t heard before. She had her back to me, so it was only when I stepped closer that I realised she was talking on her phone.
I took a tentative step back, not wanting to be caught earwigging.
“I am holding up my side of the bargain. You’re the one going back on what we agreed.” She lowered her voice. “I’ve told you before, I’m not doing that. Especially not now.”
Who was she talking to and who was she talking about? Did it have anything to do with me? All my senses went prickly.
“You know what, I don’t need this. I’ve agreed we’ll speak tomorrow. Just leave me to have my Saturday in peace.” She paused while whoever was on the end of the line said something. “And that’s the reason I am where I am.” Another pause. “Yep, see you then.”
When the conversation ended, she stuffed her phone into the pocket of her baggy jeans, and shook her head.
I wanted to let her know that I was here, but this was a really inopportune moment to announce myself. However, short of teleporting out the door, then coming back in as if I’d heard nothing, that wasn’t about to happen. I cleared my throat.
When I did, Eliza spun around, then clutched her chest.
“Oh my god, it’s you.” She blushed furiously, then glanced over my shoulder. “Did you just arrive?”
I nodded to give her the reassurance she wanted. “Just walked through the door. I shouted, but then I saw you out here.”
She patted her back pocket, and wouldn’t meet my stare. “Right. I didn’t hear you.” She pulled back her shoulders and took a deep breath. “Welcome to my humble abode.”
As well as her baggy jeans, Eliza wore a blue sweatshirt that brought out the colour of her eyes, and was far more casual than her normal style.
She’d clearly been on site many times, and knew what to wear.
I was the numpty who’d shown up in black jeans, and was surely going to leave with them covered in a thick layer of dust. There was already dust in Eliza’s hair, along with a smudge of something dark across her cheek.
Maybe she’d fare better out of the rat race than I’d given her credit for.
I pushed aside my unease as much as I could. If I’d turned up five minutes later, I wouldn’t have heard what I did. Eliza could speak to whoever she wanted. This was her house, and her life. When it came down to it, we were work colleagues, who had sex once a month at weekends.
Which was a hugely depressing description of our relationship.
We walked back into the half-finished kitchen, and I fished in my bag and handed over the Farrow & Ball paint charts that I’d told her I’d drop off this morning, now she was back from Scotland. I’d redecorated my own flat using them last year.
“Thanks for bringing these around, I appreciate it.” She placed them on a pile of flat bags of concrete currently serving as a makeshift table.
“No problem. They might have changed the colours a bit since last year, but the key ones will still be the same.” I glanced around. “I know you said you were renovating, but this is something else.”
She stood, and gestured around the space. “It needed it, there was a lot of damage. Plus, this whole downstairs was a series of smaller rooms. I took it back to brick, opened it up, extended as you can see, and put in more glass and an island.”
Even though I knew the project was due to finish in a couple of months, it was still hard to visualise completely.
Max was once a property developer, which meant this didn’t faze Eliza as she’d grown up around it.
It’s probably why she was so unflappable in business, too.
Eliza knew she could take on projects, break them down into smaller pieces, and get them done.
Was that how she was viewing me? Charming me, getting me into bed, softening me up so her dad could buy the company and profit big time?
My heart told me not to be ridiculous. She wasn’t a money-grabbing thief.
Yet my head and my mother’s warning told me to tread with care. I itched to ask about the phone call, but knew I wouldn’t.
“When I started this, I was hoping this was going to be the place I could call home, you know?” Her voice was quiet, delicate.
“Somewhere I can be who I really am, away from my dad and all his expectations. But lately, I’ve been thinking maybe I need to move further away, make a proper break.
I could rent this out or sell it. Start again. ”
My eyebrows shot up, but my stomach filled with a thousand pebbles. “You’re thinking of moving? But I thought you were excited about this house.”
And what about us?
Maybe that’s why she’d been avoidant.
She dropped my gaze and stuffed her hands in her back pockets. She stretched her neck, and I longed to run my fingertips up it.
“I was, and part of me still is,” she said.
“It’s going to be amazing when it’s done.
I’m just not sure it’s my long-term plan.
Dreams change, and who I want to work with might change, too.
” Her gaze met mine again. “The last few months have opened my eyes and made me realise what’s important. Do you know what I mean?”
I nodded.
I knew exactly what she meant.
We stood there staring for a few moments, as heat rolled through me. Her fingertips touched mine, and sparks ignited on my skin.
“I’m glad we reconnected, Poppy. I really hope you’re going to be in my life for good, even after all this. I need you to know that. I mean, properly in my life.”
The way she said it, the intensity behind it, made something twist in my stomach.
I liked Eliza. The feelings I had for her were becoming impossible to ignore. But I couldn’t shake the sense I was missing something important. And how was I going to be in her life if she was going to leave?
“Would you like to grab an early dinner?” she asked. “There’s this place nearby I’ve been wanting to try.”
What could I say? I’d love to, but the ghost of my mother warned me not to. I didn’t want Eliza to think I was crazy.
I wanted her to think I was sexy and cool.
I wanted her to fixate on me.
I wanted her to want me, whether it was wise or not.
But still, I couldn’t ignore what I knew.
“I’m not sure that’s wise.”
This was the first time we’d seen each other this week, with Eliza extending her stay in Scotland to nine days. Was this what had prompted the talk of leaving?
I’d told her we had to keep things professional, and she’d stuck to the rules, only talking to me about work. I’d spent the time in a permanent state of disappointment and longing.
Her face fell slightly, but she recovered. “How about just a drink then? There’s a pub literally two minutes away.”
I should have said no. Every rational part of my brain was screaming at me to make my excuses and go home to my pristine flat where the ghost of my dead mother would pat me on the back for my sound life choices.
However, I was not known for making those.
The pub turned out to be a gay bar, intimate and dimly lit, with rainbow flags draped artfully around the space. The clientele were in their 20s and 30s, with more piercings and tattoos than an average bar. Eliza ordered us both a beer, then found a corner booth.
She could have sat opposite me, but instead she slid into the booth beside me, until our thighs touched.
I stopped breathing. She smelled so good, even though I could still see the plaster dust in her hair. Before I knew what I was doing, I leaned over and wiped the dirt smudge from her cheek. When my fingers touched her skin, she shuddered.
When our gazes locked, my earlier resolve around Eliza melted like chocolate in the hot sun.
“I missed you this week.” When she spoke, her eyes never moved from my lips.
Her gaze was an aphrodisiac. Hell, she was an aphrodisiac.
Those blue eyes, the colour of the brightest ocean, saw straight through every defence I’d tried to build over the past week. Sitting this close to her, I could smell that subtle perfume she wore. It reminded me of expensive hotels and summers by the loch.
“How was Scotland?”
She shook her head wistfully. “Incredible. I stayed at the pub again. Marcus turned out to be a barman I could confide my problems to with ease, and Harvey cooked me a mean steak and chips. I was spoilt, but it was nice to get away. My dad’s been rubbing me up the wrong way of late.
” She sighed. “I’ve been sleeping at the house since I got back two days ago. Working from the café up the road.”
I frowned. “Sleeping at the house can’t be comfortable.” I’d been there. “And why didn’t you come into the office to work?”
She squirmed a little. “I didn’t want to burden you with my personal problems.”
I called that for what it was.
“Bullshit. You’ve been avoiding me ever since Sunday lunch at your dad’s. It’s not cool to fuck me in a loo, then bugger off to Scotland without a word.”