13. Susan
Chapter thirteen
Susan
I twirled around the living room, my feet bouncing joyfully on the plush cream-colored carpet. In my hand, I held a hairbrush, transformed into a makeshift microphone, as I absorbed myself in singing along to the quirky love song that blared from the stereo. “Ooh, strange how love can be,” I sang, letting each vibrant lyric tease out a secret about love that I was only now beginning to understand.
Baxter seemed as caught up in the moment as I was. He lay sprawled near the couch, his ears perking up as my voice filled the room. When I hit the chorus, he couldn't resist joining in. He threw back his head and howled along, his mournful sounds oddly complementing my melody.
As the song reached its playful back-and-forth, I couldn’t help but act out the parts. I called out in a melodramatic tone, “Oh darling, where are you?” Switching my voice to respond in a deeper tone, I continued, “Right here waiting, my dear.”
A giggle escaped me as I twirled a strand of hair around my finger, embodying the whimsical exchange of the lovers in the tune. "If you call and I don 't hear, just sing our song, I'll come near." My laughter mingled with the lyrics as I spun around, my arms wide, embracing the silliness of my solo performance.
"And if I still don’t show?" I sang directly to Baxter, who watched me with a tilted head as though contemplating his role in this impromptu musical. "Then, sing it louder, my love!" My voice dipped into a playful challenge, and I blushed at my boldness.
As I belted out, “Nathaniel, oh Nathaniel, you're the one for me,” my heart swelled with the infectious rhythm and the lyrics that seemed to mirror my newfound feelings for Nate. Just then, as I reached the height of my theatrical crescendo, I spun around to face the kitchen.
There stood my mom, her eyes wide with amused surprise. She still wore her garden gloves, with bits of soil dusting her worn apron. She was a stark contrast to my dancing figure.
My song faltered, and my face turned crimson. “Mom! I thought you were in the garden,” I stammered, mortification flooding through me as the music continued to swell around my embarrassment.
Baxter, oblivious to the sudden change in audience, gave one last howl before settling back down, content that his part in our little concert was over.
Her laughter filled the room, a joyful symphony that resonated with understanding. A loving sparkle shone in her eyes. "Seems like I missed quite the performance," she said teasingly. "I always knew you were a romantic at heart, Susan."
"I...uh..." My cheeks flushed red as I tried to form a coherent sentence. She just chuckled again and shook her head, setting her apron and gloves down before sitting on the stool in the kitchen. She gestured to the empty seat next to her, inviting me to join her.
I groaned and plopped down next to her with a sigh, burying my face in my hands. "You don't get to laugh. You have no idea what it is like to fall for someone who..." I trailed off, my words tangling into a giant knot of emotions.
"Who what?" Mom prompted gently, her laughter now replaced with a sympathetic gaze.
I sighed, the weight of my secret sitting heavy on my chest. "Someone who was supposed to be pretend."
“Pretend?" Mom echoed her face a picture of surprise. She glanced at my left hand, where the sparkling engagement ring rested.
I blinked at the floor momentarily before unveiling the secret I'd been keeping. "Nate and I... our engagement... it's not real.”
Mom let out a soft gasp, her eyes widening. She reached out and took my hand in hers, offering me comfort through the warmth of her touch.
"Sweetheart," she breathed, her voice as soft as the flutter of pages in a book. "Why would you two agree to something like that?"
Slowly, I began to unwind the tale—the blind date app that had brought us together, the electric connection shared with Nate on our first meeting, Tiffany's relentless pursuit, and the spontaneous proposal meant to be a mere charade. As I spoke, Mom listened, her expression shifting between shock and understanding, amusement creeping into her eyes.
I felt my cheeks flush as I recalled the unexpectedly romantic moments between us—the charged energy when we held hands and the way he looked at me like I was the only woman in the world.
"The scariest part?" I admitted my voice barely a whisper that lingered in the air of our cozy kitchen. "I think I'm... that I'm actually..."
"In love with him," Mom finished with an understanding look.
"I am," I admitted. "I know it's crazy, but when I'm with Nate, I feel like I'm truly myself. He's thoughtful, funny, and caring..." I shook my head in wonder. "I never expected to find this with him."
Mom squeezed my hand again, her expression softening into a smile. "The heart wants what it wants, dear. There's no sense fighting it."
I knew she was right, but the guilt still lingered. "Emily's my best friend, though. I don't want to hurt her, but I also can't ignore how I feel about Nate."
Mom nodded thoughtfully. "Love and friendship can be complicated. But I know you'll find a way through this with honesty and compassion."
“How about a glass of milk and some cookies?”
Mom stood up and walked over to the counter. She reached up for a couple of glasses, then opened the fridge and took out a carton of milk. She carefully poured the milk into each glass before returning it to the fridge.
Then she came back over, sat down on her stool, and reached to grab an oatmeal cookie off the tray on the counter. As she nibbled on the cookie, a dreamy look crossed her face. "Your situation reminds me of my love story with your father."
I perked up, intrigued. Mom rarely spoke of her youth.
"We met through a mutual friend, much like you and Nate," she continued. "But there was another girl who had her eye on him too. My best friend at the time, Claire."
Mom paused, lost in the memory. "I tried to ignore my feelings out of loyalty to Claire. But the heart wants what it wants." She repeated the phrase from earlier with a wistful smile.
"What happened?" I asked softly.
"Eventually, I realized I had to be honest with Claire about how I felt. Our friendship was tested, but she came around when she saw how happy your father made me."
Mom's fingers intertwined with mine, a silent reassurance passing between us. "It was risky, but I don't regret following my heart. Claire and I found our way back to each other, too."
I exhaled slowly, comforted by her story. "So, you think I should tell Emily the truth?"
"I think you should listen to your heart," she said. "But trust that your true friends will want your happiness, even when things get complicated."
My mother's words filled me with a renewed sense of hope and determination. Her unwavering guidance and wisdom have always been a source of comfort and strength for me. I was grateful to have her in my life. Despite the unknown challenges that lay ahead, I felt ready to embrace this unexpected journey with Nate and see where it might lead me.
Just then, my phone chimed with a new notification, interrupting our conversation. It was a text from Nate.
" You inspired me to dig out my old archtop guitar and record something special just for you ," the message read. " I hope you like it. "
Before I could reply, a video popped up. I saw Nate sitting in his cozy living room, his beloved guitar cradled in his arms. He looked slightly nervous but smiled warmly into the camera. "This is for you, Susan," he said.
Then the strumming started, and he launched into a beautiful, soulful song.
I felt my breath catch as Nate began to sing, his fingers effortlessly gliding over his worn guitar strings. The lyrics spoke directly to our unique story, reflecting on the unexpected joy we had found in each other. His voice was rich and smooth, every note dripping with emotion.
I was transfixed, unable to tear my eyes away. Nate's song felt like a window straight into his soul. With every verse, he laid himself bare, vulnerability and passion intertwined.
When he hit the chorus, tears welled up in my eyes. He had put our journey into music - the laughter, the missteps, the tenderness. This thoughtful gesture left no doubt about the depth of Nate's feelings for me.
As the final notes faded away, a warmth spread through my chest. Being cared about so completely was exhilarating and overwhelming all at once. I blinked back happy tears, my heart full to bursting.
"Now that was a beautiful song," Mom said, her eyes twinkling.
I could only nod, too choked up to speak. But her smile told me she understood exactly how I felt. Nate's song echoed in my mind, a promise for the future.
Eager to share the beautiful moment Nate had created, I passed my phone to Mom so she could see the video herself. She watched closely, a smile spreading across her face as the light from the screen reflected in her eyes.
When it ended, she let out a contented sigh. "What a thoughtful gesture."
I nodded, still processing the wave of emotions washing over me. "I can't believe he did that. Writing a whole song just for me..."
"It takes a certain kind of man to express himself so openly," Mom said, giving me a discerning look. “Nate's willingness to put his heart out there shows how deeply he cares about you."
Her words resonated with me. She was right—Nate was brave enough to reveal his true feelings, even when it felt risky. I thought back on our winding journey and how we had grown together.
"You're so lucky to have found each other," Mom said gently. She reached out to brush a tear from my cheek.
“I never thought I’d be this happy.”
“You deserve it, Susan. Remember that. You deserve to be happy. I know this is new territory for you, but remember to trust your heart.”
Her words were a salve, soothing my worries and bolstering my courage. Gratitude welled within me as I wrapped my arms around her in a hug. Nuzzling into her shoulder, I murmured a quiet, "Thank you, Mom."
Her hand gently patted my back as she returned the embrace warmly. "Anytime, honey," she murmured as we pulled apart, leaving me with a comforting sense of closeness.
Mom left to finish working on her garden. I curled up on the couch with Baxter, and I was fixing to text Nate when my phone chimed. Grabbing it from the coffee table, a smile bloomed on my face as I saw a text from Nate. " Did you like the song? " he asked simply .
My heart fluttered at his humility. He had no idea how much his song had meant to me. " I loved it ," I typed back. " It was perfect :) . "
There was a pause before his response came through. " I'm glad you enjoyed it ," he replied. “ Can’t wait to hang out this weekend .”
My fingers hovered over the screen before I replied: " Me either. And thank you... for everything ."
As I got into bed, I found myself replaying Nate's song again and again. The words resonated with me, each note striking a chord deep within my core. I began to hum along, his voice merging with mine in a harmony that made my heart flutter.
I drifted into sleep with the melody still playing in my mind, dreaming of a future filled with laughter, shared secrets, and whispered I love you's.