Chapter 5
five
Natalia
“If you keep moving, this eyeliner is going to turn into a smoky eye.”
I smother a laugh, holding my breath as I watch Alma carefully apply my makeup. “This really isn’t necessary.”
“Are you kidding?” My friend sets down the eyeliner and gives me a look. “This is your first date in five years.”
“Four.” I correct quietly.
“Who cares? Once you’re past four it’s five. It’s basic rounding.”
She finishes my eyeliner, giving herself an approving nod before rifling through her makeup bag. I watch myself in the mirror, turning my sleek bob this way and that, watching the pin-straight hair sway with the movement. I don’t recognize myself.
It’s equal parts terrifying and exciting.
“Are you sure this dress isn’t too much?” I look at the dress she let me borrow. It’s short and snug, the small number showing off a lot more skin than I normally do.
Alma wrinkles her brow. “Too much in what way? You look hot. Your boobs look amazing.” She glances at my chest. “Let me cop a feel.”
I laugh, swatting her hand away. “I already told you, I don’t swing that way.”
“Oh, boo.”
She fusses with a makeup brush, cleaning it off and using it to dust blush over my cheeks. So casual I hesitate to ask the question that’s been on my mind all evening.
“Alma, are you sure you’re not mad about me going on this date with Dom?”
She rears back. “What?”
“Well, you told me yourself. You think he’s cute.
I just don’t want you to think I was trying to keep the two of you away from each other because I wanted him for myself.
The date just kind of…happened?” When I told her about it, she looked so excited I haven’t had the heart to tell her it’s not a real date.
“Are you kidding? There’s always more fish in the sea. Besides, you haven’t had sex in five years.”
“Four.”
“You need this.” She says, completely ignoring me. “I think your vibrator is about to catch on fire.” She says, referring to the bullet she saw when she walked past my bedroom to use the bathroom.
“If you must know, I got that last year.” After my old faithful decided to die on me.
Mid-session.
“Well, it looks like it’s lived a thousand lives.
” She says, laughing at my outraged face.
“Just kidding. But think of how great this date may go! Dom is a handsome guy. And he’s not cheap.
You guys are going to Lucia’s. So romantic.
” She says, fawning over the restaurant until the ball of nervous energy in my stomach eases.
Maybe this night will go well.
I mean, it’s not like this is a real date. Dom and I know that. We’re just going to go, eat some good food, and get Sylvia and Alma off my back about dating.
I glance in the direction of the photo Agent Bryce gave me, on the dining room table. Taunting me. He moved on. It’s been four years.
I should do the same.
Alma follows my gaze. “What are you looking at? What’s this?” She plucks the photo off the table, cocking her head at the faces staring back at her.
“Just…some of my old…friends. Before I left L.A. a few years ago.”
“Hm. I didn’t know you used to get down at Pandemonium like that.” She gives me a look.
“Pandemonium?”
“Yeah, the club where they took this picture.”
My heart races, and I suppress the urge to snatch the photo from her hand and look at it again. The place has a name. Is he going to be there tonight?
“I…it was a long time ago.” I lie through my teeth. I’ve never stepped foot in that place.
“I go there sometimes. They look familiar.” I bite back the urge to ask about the lone woman in the picture, even though the words burn like acid in my throat. “We should go one of these days. It’s near Lucia’s, you know.”
I didn’t know. And as she’s putting the last touches of makeup on my face, I seriously wish she never told me.
Dom rubs his hands together, smiling down at the laminated menu before him.
“Did you see the filet mignon? I bet it just melts.”
I look at him over the top of my menu, trying not to wince. “Yeah. I saw it.” I saw the price, too. I’ll have to work three hours at the library to pay for it.
Candles flicker between us, the lights in the brick-walled restaurant dimmed to create the illusion of intimacy. A waiter flits to our table, crisp white shirt tucked into tailored pants that probably cost as much as my outfit.
We place our order, and I think I wince too hard at Dom’s steak order because he gives me a pitying look as soon as the waiter leaves.
“Natalia, I was kidding about you paying.”
I don’t know if I should laugh or look embarrassed. “You’re doing me a favor, Dom. This is the least I could do.”
“No offense, but I’m not going to sleep at night knowing I’m taking money from the poor.”
I take a gulp of my water. “That would almost make this a real date.”
He smiles easily. “I’m okay with that.”
Oh. I wait for him to burst out laughing, and my heart squeezes when he just gives me a flirty look.
Oh.
I swallow down the ball of nerves in my stomach and force out a smile. I can do this.
Who knows? Maybe I’ll have a good time.
There’s definitely worse dates to be had. Alma’s right—Dom is handsome. He’s got sharp, slanted eyes, a ridiculously defined jaw, and a sculpted body from years of serving on L.A.’s finest SWAT team. I’ve caught at least three women checking him out in the fifteen minutes we’ve been here.
And he doesn’t have a criminal record.
A long beat passes between us, and then Dom speaks up. “Did you catch the mouse?”
“…Nope.” I give him a pointed look. “I don’t think I set the traps up in the right place. If you could get one of the guys at the station to help me out…”
He pats his chest. “I gotta save face at work, girl. C’mon, don’t do this to me.”
I sigh. This will never work.
Dom reaches into his pocket, taking out his phone and opening the camera.
“What are you doing?” He angles the camera towards us and smiles.
“Taking a selfie so I can tag your sister. You want her to see us here, right?”
Oh, shit, that’s right. I pick up the glass of red wine I’ve been pretending to like and smile big, making sure it reaches my eyes. Making sure I’m really selling it, for the moment Sylvia eventually grills me about tonight.
My date posts the picture and launches into a story about the last mission they went on, an arrest on a gun-happy animal smuggler who decided he was going to put up a fight.
“So we set the charges and blow the doors off…and then a fucking alligator comes scurrying out! He was huge! He clipped Cortez with his tail, we had to hide and wait until animal control showed up to tranquilize him. She’s going to be out of work for three weeks.
” He sighs, looking into his glass of bourbon. “I wish it had been me.”
I snort. “Have you heard of this magical thing called, vacation time?”
“It’s not just that,” He says, laughing. “She’s cool now. Everyone at the station keeps bringing up how badass it was. They were replaying her bodycam footage the other day.”
He drones on about the damn alligator, and I lose the thread of the conversation when he starts talking about how much the damn thing weighed.
Dom launches into another story about a warrant they served earlier in the week, and at some point, I completely disassociate. I nod and act surprised at the appropriate times, picking at my overpriced spaghetti until he reaches across the table and captures my hand in his.
I freeze.
“Sorry. Am I making it all about work? Nolan says I never shut up about it.”
I put my fork down and give him a small smile. “Kind of.”
“I’m sorry.” He says again. “I really try—but all I do is work. I think I’m kind of boring when I’m off the clock.”
“It’s okay.” I squeeze his hand, my heart cantering unsteadily at the rough sensation of his palm rasping against mine. “It’s nice to hear people talk about the things they’re passionate about. All I heard about growing up was guns, drugs and raids.” I shrug, pausing when Dom leans forward.
“What was it like?” He asks quietly, looking me up and down. “You’re so sweet, Natalia. Sometimes, I find it hard to believe Antonio Hernandez is your dad.”
I don’t think anyone’s asked me that. It takes me a long time to answer, simply because I don’t think I’ve had time to think about it at all.
“It was normal, for a long time. Sylvia and Papa fought a lot, but we were still just a normal family. Until my mom died. We were ambushed on the way home from school.” I clear my throat, mentally shutting out the memories of that day.
I’ve been suppressing them for so long that I barely remember, anyway.
“After she died, it felt like…a cage. Like living in a big, fancy cage.” I answer honestly.
He takes a sip of his drink and sighs. “And now you’re free.”
“And now I’m free.” I repeat hollowly, wishing I felt the words I was saying.
I should feel free. Happy and free. And somehow, all I can think about is that stupid nightclub not ten minutes away.
“Have you heard of Pandemonium?” I ask, before I can stop myself.
Dom nods. “Yeah, I’ve been a couple of times. We try to steer clear of that spot, though. It’s frequented by some…questionable people in town. Not good for a cop to be recognized in some of those places, if you catch my drift.”
“Right.” I nod easily, chewing a mouthful of spaghetti, a ball of nerves wriggling in my stomach.
I can’t shove away the idea that forms in the back of my head.
It chants, louder and louder. Even after Dom grabs the check with a handsome smile and plops a couple of hundred-dollar bills on the table.
Even when he walks me to the car and bundles me safely in my little car with a soft kiss on the forehead.
I think the date was great.
And somehow, when I turn my car on, my hand shakes as I reach for my phone and type in Pandemonium into my navigation app.