Chapter 11 #2
She shakes her head. “It’s not mine.” She takes the rest of her money and drops it into her bag, giving it a happy little pat that tugs at something in my chest. Like the measly amount means something to her.
“Do you need money?” I blurt out before I can stop myself, cursing silently when she freezes.
“N—no. I have a job.”
“That’s not what I asked.” I watch her carefully. “Do you need money, Natalia?”
She pauses, shifting her weight from one foot to the other and giving me a tiny shrug. “Everyone needs money these days.”
I climb to my feet, ignoring the voice in the back of my head that tells me Westfall is not going to be happy about this. I’ll be damned if this woman is in need of anything. “How much?”
She blinks, swiping a strand of hair away from her face. “What?”
“How much do you need?”
Natalia jumps when I grab a handful of cash from the safe, holding up her hands. “Woah. Stop. I—I don’t need your money.”
“It’s a gift.” I shrug. “Consider it…an apology for how things ended.” When I left her that night, I barely got away from the FBI with my freedom. But things are different now. Her dad’s not around, and neither is Reynaldo.
I run the show, and I do whatever the fuck I want.
Does she want a house?
“I don’t want it.” She bites her lip. “Papa threw money around the same way. And in the end, he just threw it back in my face. I don’t want handouts.”
I stare her down, and where most men would wilt under the pressure, she doesn’t buckle. I give up with a sigh, plopping the extra money on the desk between us.
“Fine. Don’t take the money, I’m not going to shove it down your throat.” I can always find other ways to mysteriously upgrade her life.
I expect her to take her money and leave, but when she’s still shifting her weight from one foot to the other a moment later, I can’t help the flitter of excitement that moves up my spine.
“What is it?”
She gulps down a breath. “I don’t want to be given money. I want to earn my money.”
I glance around the office. “Okay…?”
“Santos and I were talking…” She bites her lip. “There’s a rumor going around about your bookie.”
“Santos is an overly paranoid gossip.” I tell her dismissively, going over some messages on my phone. “Westfall’s too scared of his shadow to cheat me.” I glance up at her. “Why do you care?”
“I just feel like you’re taking an unnecessary risk.” She answers quietly.
“I need a bookie, Natalia. So that’s just a risk I’ll have to take.”
“I’m saying…I could be your bookie.”
Crickets.
I put my phone down. “What did you just say?”
“I want a job.” She says slowly. “And you have someone who is…untrustworthy.” If I wore glasses, I’d be ripping them off my face right now. This must be a dream. All of this is a dream, and I’m going to open my eyes in a second and slap Santos away from my face.
“Is this a joke?”
“Why would I be joking about something like this?”
I pinch my temple. “You don’t know the first thing about keeping books.”
“You know that Pacheco was teaching me. I know the basics. I’m a quick study.”
“No.” I say immediately. “You are not cut out for this, and you know it.”
“I may not be comfortable with killing people, but I have what it takes. I grew up in this?—”
I scrub a hand over my face and rise to my feet. Natalia takes a step back as I come to the other side of the desk and lean against it, lowering my voice and making it as gentle as possible.
“You hated every second of this lifestyle, Natalia. It was all you talked about. You got your accounting degree so you could leave. Why would you ever volunteer to do this shit?”
She presses her lips into a thin line, and standing this close to her feels like a knife twisting in my heart. The years have been kind to her. She’s just as beautiful as I remember. Full lips, high cheekbones, doe eyes that warm even a cold bastard like me.
“You’re right.” She says diplomatically. “But, well, I did get what I wanted. And now I’m not so sure it’s for me.”
I give her a quizzical look.
“I got everything I wanted…but I’m not…happy.” She admits slowly, looking at everything except me. “I got a fresh start, but…I’m bored. Something is missing. I think—I think this is missing. Give me a chance, Matias.”
She was always so hard to say no to—especially when she set those pleading eyes on me. So I’m really proud when I tell her:
“As much as I understand the need for excitement…my operation is not the place for you to find yourself. If you want a loan, I’d be happy to give it. But I’m not giving you a job.”
Natalia shakes her head and smiles. Like she’s not pleased, but she’s also not surprised at the turn of events.
“Fine. But just know that if I was doing your numbers, no one would doubt my loyalty to you.” I watch as she gathers her belongings, chin raised high as she stands by the exit.
“Goodbye, Matias.” She takes one long look at me, and suddenly it feels like this may be the last time I’ll be seeing her. I want to ask her to wait—to make something up, but I can’t give her what she wants. Bringing her back into my orbit is a bad, bad idea.
It has to be this way. Because just by being in the same room for five minutes, she plucked my deepest secret and laid me bare.
I got everything I wanted.
But I’m not happy, either.