Chapter 14 #2
We travel deep into the hills, the homes going from modest, city-outskirt dwellings to multi-million dollar mansions.
My nose is pressed against the passenger side window when he the gates to a small mansion open up ahead.
An immaculate Spanish style home stands tall at the end of a paved driveway, bright white stucco and black accents greeting us as Matias parks the car and turns off the engine.
“You…this is your house?” I swing the passenger side door open and gawk at the house.
“It’s not mine. I guess you can say it’s borrowed.
” He leads me inside, watching me as I take a slow turn around the foyer.
The property is small compared to Papa’s compound.
But this place is cozy. It has history, personality.
Where our house feels like a mausoleum, this place feels like a home.
A luxurious, sumptuous home, but a home nonetheless.
“The guy who owns the place owes us money.”
“So what, you just get to live here until he’s paid it off?”
He shrugs. “Pretty much. It was either that or we started cutting fingers.” I grin, and he breezes past me. Suddenly I’m not sure if that was a well-placed joke or a fact.
The foyer leads into a living room with curated furniture and tall ceilings, dark oak beams spanning the width of the ceiling. In the other side of the room, sliding windows beckon us into a small courtyard with views of the city in the distance.
“Why are you staying at our pool house? This place is…heaven. It’s heaven on earth.”
“It is now.” Matias takes a step closer, prowling across the room, until I’m cornered between the wall of his body and the back of the sofa.
The air grows thin around us, like I’ve suddenly found my way to the top of a roller coaster. “What are you doing?”
His eyes are inscrutable as he closes the last few inches between us. “Something I’ve been wanting to do all day.”
And then he reaches out, hooks an arm around the small of my waist, and pulls me into him. His clothes smell spicy, like smoke mixed with just a little bit of soap and salt.
I want to ask what the hell he’s doing. Our relationship, what little there is of it, has no title.
We’re just…friends. With an understanding that in a different world, we would be so, so much more.
I don’t want to melt into his arms. But I can’t help how good it feels to wrap my arms around him and nuzzle into his chest.
Here, he smells like skin, like sunshine and salt and a little bit of sweat. He feels so good in my arms, I can’t help the sigh that escapes me. He’s warm and solid beneath me, his heart beating steadily under my cheek.
When we go back home, we’ll have to go back to acting like we don’t know each other.
Drawing all these lines around us to make sure we don’t blur everything.
How am I supposed to stay away from him after today?
He may have just opened Pandora’s box by holding me like this.
Because I don’t ever want to go back to a world where we don’t touch each other.
A horrible thought occurs to me as he runs a hand down my back with a happy grumble and gives me a big squeeze.
“…Are you dying?”
He lets out a laugh. The first of the day. “No, I’m not dying…what the fuck?”
“Like a cat suddenly getting cozy before kicking the bucket.”
His chest rumbles with another hearty laugh. “You are so weird.” The warm way he says it makes me smile. “Where did you get that from?”
“The internet.”
“You need to get off your phone.”
It’s my turn to laugh. “There’s not many options for someone that lives in house arrest.” Matias holds me closer, if that’s even possible, squeezing me to him with both arms and propping his head on top of mine.
“I know. We only have a little while longer before your dad starts wondering where you are.” I glance at the side table where Matias put my backpack, surprised my phone hasn’t rung already.
“What excuse are we giving Papa when he calls?”
“Traffic.” I hum against his chest. It’s a weak excuse for the delay, but I guess it could work.
I grip the fabric of Matias’ shirt tighter, stilling when my hand brushes over the gun tucked into his waistband.
We don’t have long. And Matias isn’t one to do stuff like this.
He doesn’t take risks or liberties, and he especially doesn’t outwardly seek affection like this.
Something is wrong, and I need to get to the bottom of it before we’re back to pretending we don’t know each other.
“Matias…what’s wrong?”
“I just had a hard day, Florecita. That’s all.”
I extricate myself from his embrace, placing my hand on his jaw, until he’s looking me in the eye.
“What happened?”
He stares at me, his mouth flattening into a thin line, like he doesn’t even know where to start talking.
“Let’s sit. Come on.” I drag him to the sofa and nudge him down, sitting beside him and watching carefully. He moves jerkily, his mind a million miles away.
“Is it work?”
He nods, expelling a breath.
“Matias. My dad is a drug dealer. I’ve been listening to his work talk since I was old enough to understand words.
This is all I know. Listening is all I do.
You can talk to me.” My heart jumps up my throat when I reach up and caress his jaw.
I don’t touch him like this, but something inside me warms when he leans into my touch instead of pushing me away.
“People like me…some of us don’t have scruples. Most people I know…there’s line we won’t cross. You know? I move guns, and drugs and contraband…but I don’t…I don’t like to hurt people that don’t deserve it. I know I’m not a good person. And I don’t like hurting good people. Innocent people.”
I curl my feet under me, reaching out and placing a hand on his forearm. He turns his hand over, searching for mine until our fingers interlock.
“My…distributor…wants me to move people.”
“Over the border?”
“No. I mean, yes, but…he wants me to move people against their will. Women. Girls—kids, Natalia.” He closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I can’t—I’m not fucking doing that.”
Matias leans forward, clutching my hand. “I don’t have many choices. But I just can’t…I can’t do that. He’s been talking about it for a long time. Bringing people over. I didn’t think it would be like that. I didn’t think they would be here against their will.”
My heart hearts for him. “You saw them?”
“This morning.” He confirms, nodding. “They were so scared, Natalia. I know I’m not a good person, but even people like me have their limits. I mean, fuck.”
“The fact that you feel the way that you do means you are a good person, Matias.” I know he won’t believe me, but it doesn’t matter. It bears being said. “We’ll figure something out.”
“Saying ‘no’ isn’t an option, Natalia. In my line of work…I deliver or I die.”
A thought occurs to me. “Does my dad know about this? Is he on it, too?” I never asked my dad about the specifics of his job…but surely trafficking women and girls isn’t on his list.
“He doesn’t know about it. Your dad just buys drugs, some guns.
Nothing crazy. I distribute to other people, too.
But I give your dad the best prices.” He glances at me, and something warm unfurls in my belly when I realize he slashes Papa’s prices because it keeps us around each other.
It buys us time together. What little time it is—it’s priceless.
But it isn’t enough. These little glimpses of time aren’t enough.
I don’t want to hide and pretend I don’t know him when he walks into the kitchen to speak with Papa in the mornings.
What happens when Papa decides he wants another supplier?
Or when he decides to try and pull through on his threat to marry me off?
“Matias…what if we just left?”
He gives me a dazed look. “What?”
“We could leave. The two of us. I’ve been thinking about it for a while. It’s the reason why I’ve been working so hard to finish school.”
He blinks. “Just pack our things and run away, huh?”
“Don’t make it sound like that.” I let go of his hand and shoot him an irritated look. “It isn’t some juvenile plan I just thought of. I met this guy through Sylvia…he helps people with identities. He’s good at it, Matias. I…I was planning on going to him after graduating.”
“Was?” He asks softly, searching for my hand again in the dim afternoon light.
“Plans change.” I admit, shrugging. He reaches up, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, thumb skimming my ear like I’m a priceless artifact he’s terrified to touch.
“Yeah. They do.” He sighs, a hint of a smile tugging at his full mouth. “God, look at us. What are we going to do?”
“I told you. We’re running. We’ll get new identities. And a house somewhere cheap.”
He finally smiles for real. “A house, huh?” I keep going, because I want to smile on his face to stay to stay there.
“Yes. A big country house. With one of those big porches, and a fireplace.” I smile, too, because the idea actually sounds like everything I’ve ever wanted. “And a lot of land. I’ve always wanted to garden. We could make a barn and have animals, too.”
He laughs, leaning back on the sofa and dragging me with him, until I’m tucked into the crook of his neck. “Animals? Have you even taken care of an animal before?”
I giggle. “I look after Reggie all the time.”
“Feeding him carrots and sugar cubes isn’t taking care of him. How many times have you scooped shit out of his stall?”
I wrinkle my nose. “That’s what you’ll be there for.” He scoffs and reaches up, pinching my side with his free hand.
“We can start with a dog.”
“Fine. But I get to pick her out.”
He groans. “Her?”
“Yes. It’s going to be a girl, Matias.”
“I don’t like little dogs.” He says immediately.
“That’s too bad for you, because I think they’re adorable. I want a little fluffy one, with a cute name. Like…Princess.”
“We are not naming our dog Princess.”
“What’s wrong with Princess?” I squawk, leaning back and basking in the huge smile on his face.