Chapter 44
forty-four
Natalia
“They were fucking shooting at us!” Jake’s voice rings out in the sparsely decorated living room, jaw tight. “We barely made it out alive, Nolan!” Jake’s twin brother goes pale, his gaze flicking over to us. I sit between Bee and Sylvia on the sofa, giving the off-duty LAPD officer a weak smile.
“You ladies okay?”
I think Sylvia snorts. I can’t even bring myself to answer, patting the hard drive containing a world of secrets. The little device that almost got us all killed—my only bargaining chip.
It’ll take a lot more than a hit squad for me to give it up.
“We’re fine.” Bee chatters. “Although, I think I may have mowed over a couple of them with my car as we got away.” I bite back a macabre laugh, remembering when Bee got behind the wheel of her colorful little hatchback, screaming the entire time.
“I’m not going to jail for that, right? Because I really can’t go to jail again.”
“I’d like to see them try.” Jake says tersely, sitting on the arm of the sofa. “When I get a hold of my boss?—”
“Actually,” I interrupt, sliding Jake a surreptitious glance, “I think it may be best if we don’t tell anyone what happened just yet.”
Every pair of eyes in the room swings to me.
Now or never, I tell myself, rising to my feet. “Look, Jake, if you tell your boss what happened, he’s going to ask to see the drive. I can’t…I can’t give it up just yet.”
I’ve considered Jake a friend for years now, but when a vein starts pulsing at his jaw, I wonder if he’s rethinking that notion.
“Natalia, we almost died. This isn’t just an off the books investigation anymore. We got Bee’s apartment shot up!”
“And I feel awful about it—really. I do.” I say, giving the hacker a guilty look.
“I’m sorry that I dragged all of you into this.
But…well, even though Bee and I didn’t fully crack the drive…
we got to see enough. Enough to suspect that I can’t…
I can’t trust the FBI right now.” I say the words softly, hoping they soften the blow.
I remember how defeated Jake was when Sylvia’s case almost went down the gutter.
I remember how exhausted he looked when we barely got Aaron alive from that warehouse.
“Jake, I…I can’t tell you everything just yet. But I need more time. You can’t tell Ford. Please.”
Jake and Nolan glance at each other, the brothers so identical it looks uncanny. Nolan blows out a breath and walks to the kitchen, muttering something as the light of his fancy bachelor pad washes across his broad shoulders.
“Fine.” Jake concedes, melting into an armchair across from me. “As much as I want to give you shit about your theory…I had the same thought a while ago. So…how do you want to play this?”
I’m really not used to being in charge. Most of the time, I coast by existing in the background. By not being perceived. So having everyone staring at me with bated breath really sets my heart racing.
“Uh…ah…”
“I think,” Bee speaks up, nodding when I give her a grateful look, “We should lay low and rest up tonight. We’ve all been through a lot—I don’t know about you guys—but I’m exhausted.
So…let’s get refreshed and rested. That way, the plan will seem clear in the morning. Once all the adrenaline has worn off.”
Sylvia glances at me with a curious look. She knows that where Matias is concerned, I’ll never be one to just sit around. But this isn’t just about me anymore. So I meet my sister’s gaze with a stifled yawn and nod.
“Okay. Well, you girls can stay in the guest room. Jake will sleep on the couch.” Nolan announces, giving his brother a crafty smile.
“Why can’t I sleep in your room?” Jake asks, looking at the sofa and wrinkling his nose. “It’s not like you’re sharing your bed with anyone.”
“Because…” Nolan purses his lips, searching for a fabricated excuse before giving up with a shrug. “I just don’t feel like listening to your snores. Good night.”
The brothers bicker on and off for a little while longer before settling down. Eventually, Jake sleeps in his brother’s room, Sylvia and I take over the guest bedroom, and Bee volunteers to sleep in the living room.
“I really don’t mind.” She insists, throwing her hair into a haphazard bun. “I have loved being around you guys all day, but my inner hermit could use some alone time. Really. You guys go sleep.”
Sylvia barely keeps her eyes open when we close the door to the guest bedroom. She drops into the bed, her hair sticking up in a million directions as she collapses on the side of the bed closest to the door.
I smile at the sight. “Am I keeping you up past your bedtime?”
“Haven’t partied like this since I was on drugs.” She mumbles, a fleeting grin flashing over her face as I settle into bed next to her. “Nati, are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine. Sorry for all of this trouble, Sylvia. I’m going to figure all of this out. I promise.” My sister pats my shoulder, tucking the blankets up to our chins and smacking her lips quietly.
“You’re not doing it alone. We’re all here for you. I’m here for you.”
The words tug at something in my chest. “I love you.”
“I love you too, dummy. You know, I’m surprised you agreed to taking a break. I’m happy you did. You need some rest. We all have to put our heads together if we’re going to solve this the right way. It’ll take time, but it’ll be worth it.”
“Yeah.” I agree quietly, hoping she doesn’t notice the hollowness of my words.
I watch Sylvia, smiling to myself when her eyes eventually close and a soft snort escapes her lips.
She’s changed so much, it almost feels like we’ve switched roles.
I’m glad my sister believes that people are capable of good now—but I don’t.
Not anymore. Not enough to bet Matias’ life on it.
So when I know she’s deep asleep, I slip out of bed and get dressed once more, watching my reflection in the mirror.
Funny how I look exactly the same, and yet feel completely different.
How can I still look so much like me, and be so different from the version of myself I used to know?
The one that always believed in the inherent good of others, the one that insisted on always doing the right thing?
I lost too much for fear of taking risks. A whole life, sitting on the sidelines waiting for life to happen.
I won’t lose the love of my life listening to that fear. I’d rather die before I let that happen.
Bee is waiting for me when I tip-toe into the living room.
She tenses when a floorboard creaks beneath me, whirling from her spot on the sofa and relaxing when she meets my gaze.
I sit beside her, the only sound in the room coming from the crickets chirping outside and the quiet keystrokes coming from her laptop.
“I can’t believe we got shot at and you braved the bullets to bring a laptop.” She smiles, the blue wash of her computer casting shadows on her face.
“I remembered the laptop charger but forgot the toothbrush.” Bee whispers. “When we get back I’ll have to re-evaluate my bug-out-bag.”
“I’m sorry about your apartment. I feel terrible.”
She pats my thigh. “It’s not your fault. I’m sick of these entitled assholes that think they’re allowed to play God.” She says, shaking her head. “If I have to lose my apartment to take them down, well, that’s a small price to pay.”
I smile, hating our circumstances, and yet still incredibly grateful to have her in my corner. “Thanks, Bee. I wouldn’t be able to do this without you.”
“I know.” She says, preening, and then: “…Are you sure about this?”
“Yeah.” Nervous, sure, but certain that this is my only recourse. “There’s no point in doing the right thing if it’s going to be used against us. If they want to play dirty, well, I’ll play dirty too.”
The words sit in silence between us. Bee continues to work for a little while longer, and then turns to look at me.
“Do you have it?” Bee nods, setting down her laptop and rooting around her emergency bag until she hands me a tiny burner phone. The black plastic is ridiculously light in my hands, and I turn it over a few times before I start typing out the message.
“Please don’t get killed.” She whispers. “Your sister is going to have my ass in the morning.”
She’s not wrong, but I don’t tell her that. I need to slip away now, while there’s no one here to stop me. “Just hide behind Jake, he’ll keep you safe. You remember what you’re going to tell them, right?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll take care of it.”
“Good. Good.” I say absentmindedly, re-reading the message in my hands one last time before hitting ‘send’.
Hi, Bryce. I have something you want. I want Matias in exchange for it.
The rogue agent replies not two minutes later with coordinates and a time.