Chapter 32
“I can’t believewe’re doing this right now,” Andie says, dipping her feet into the warm water. “Have you ever taken more than an hour for lunch?”
“Nope.”
I usually have lunch at my desk, squeezing out every last minute of my time to work. And where has that gotten me? Everyone else on the team takes half days, works from home whenever they want, which, let’s be honest, means they’re barely working at all. Not me. I follow the rules like it’s an Olympic sport.
Not anymore. Tomorrow is the day, my own personal D Day. And a fresh mani-pedi is just what I need to prepare for battle.
“Did you pick a color yet?” Andie asks. “I think I’m going with a burgundy shade so I can match the wine.”
I look at the woman currently softening my cuticles. “What’s the most sparkly polish you have?”
Andie helps me decide on a peachy-pink micro glitter. “Blinding, but still professional,” is what she said. And once all of our limbs are locked in place, I decide it’s time to spill the beans.
“I know about Daanesh.”
Andie stills at my abrupt declaration. I’ve been holding this in for a week, trying to decide if and how I should bring it up. But we’re going to Sonoma tomorrow and I’m honestly worried if I don’t say something now, it’ll pop out at the worst time.
“You know? How?”
Her voice is small and shaking with nervous energy. “I’m not mad. I get why you didn’t tell me.”
“I wanted to. I wanted to so badly. But we swore we would never tell anyone, not unless it got serious. And then it did but there are still reasons why?—”
“I get it.” I really do. It’s no different from Gavin keeping our arrangement from Daanesh. We’re all in this huge, twisted web of secrets, and I’m glad it’s being untangled. It’s fucking exhausting.
“Really though, how’d you know?” she asks. Her voice is still lower than usual, like she’s worried someone might be spying on us.
I match her tone. “An accident, I guess. He saw a text from me on your phone. When you asked if I was bringing Gavin to the Pawsability gala. So he told Gavin he knew our thing was fake, and when Gavin told me,” I pause to take a breath. “You were in Santa Barbara that weekend with your boyfriend. I knew you’d never go as far to lie about where you were. So he had to be there with you.”
“That’s some serious detective shit,” she replies. “I thought he bought it when I told him you were joking. I’m so sorry.”
“I’ll be honest. When I first found out, I was hurt. Because we tell each other everything. But then I remembered our chat in Mexico. You said something about double dates, and you were so excited. So I think we should just skip ahead to that part, yeah?”
“I mean, obviously. But I also need to talk to Daan. He still thinks we’ve been—wait. Is this how Daanesh found out about Mitch? It’s my fault?”
“It’s no one’s fault but my own. But yeah, Daanesh told Gavin he knew about our arrangement and demanded to know why.”
“I’m really sorry for my part in that. But now it makes sense why you forgave Gavin so quickly. He didn’t really do anything wrong.”
“If I’ve learned anything from the last few months, it’s that no secret stays hidden forever. Does the secrecy with you and Daan have an expiration date?”
“I think so?” Her smile wavers. “This has to stay between us, but he and Vaughn might be selling the company. So he wants to wait to come out until that’s final. Just in case.”
“Oh, I guess that makes sense. Double date TBD then.”
“Yeah, TBD,” she says wistfully. “But when the time finally comes, it’s going to be glorious.”
I grin, knowing she’ll plan something over the top and amazing.
“Has Daanesh said anything to you this week, about the Mitch situation?” I ask.
She sighs, tilting her head. “He’s really torn up about it, Liv. He wants to fire him, but he doesn’t want you to feel betrayed either.”
“I might be able to help with that, actually.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I’m not sure exactly, but I talked to Mitch on the phone last week. And I’m pretty sure he’s not with his ex-wife and kid. He might not even be in Portland. I would tell Daan to look at his charges on the company card. There might be something worth investigating.”
“We should come here every week,”Gavin says, sprawling out on the picnic blanket.
We drove up to Sonoma after work so I have extra time to set everything up for tomorrow. With Gavin’s help and the rest of our sales team, we have thirty current customers and prospects coming to the event I’m hosting at Diamond Sky.
I called the event Sip Sizzl in the invitation, an opportunity to meet with like-minded senior-level marketers while getting an exclusive behind the scenes tour of Diamond Sky. Andie and her boss Mario will be joining as well, coming on the shuttles tomorrow. But this is my event, my chance to show Sizzl what I’m made of.
“Well,” I reply. “We always have a place to stay if you can handle my family.”
“I love your family. Do you think we could bring Gabby some time?”
“Of course.”
He takes one of my hands and pulls it to his mouth, pressing his lips against my skin. The simple motion has tears swelling in my eyes. I brought him to The Meritage in Napa for dinner. Since our last trip to wine country was cut short, I wanted to show him one of my favorite places. There are several wineries and shops here, all surrounding a large outdoor area where you can lounge with their food and wine.
Everything about this moment is perfect, and somehow my anxiety is trying to ruin it.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, swiping at a tear on my cheek. It takes me a minute to even organize my thoughts, but once I do, I’m not sure how to articulate them. I don’t even know why I’m thinking about this. Because we’re talking about family? Because I love him? Because I can’t let things go?
“Tell me, please?” he urges.
“Okay,” I start. “I’m going to ask you something. And I need you to trust me that it’s not what you think.”
He takes my hand again and nods for me to go on.
“Do you think I’m marriage material?” I catch a quick flare in his eyes before he hides it. “I’m not asking about you specifically. Just, do you think I’m the kind of person someone would want to marry?” I blow out a breath. I know I sound ridiculous right now, but I can’t push away this feeling in my head. I can’t push away Ian’s voice.
His features turn thoughtful, and I’m reminded again why I love this man. He’s considering my question. He’s coming up with a real answer. His instinct wasn’t to roll his eyes and shrug it off as another one of my “silly moments.”
“What does marriage material even mean?” he asks, but it seems rhetorical. “It’s just wanting to spend your life with someone, right? It’s not like there’s a checklist.” He must notice when I bite my lip because he continues. “I bet Ian had a checklist, didn’t he?” I nod. “Actually, I bet he had a pro and con list. It was probably something like, ‘con that she doesn’t have a better title at work, but pro that she has family money.’” The voice he uses to mock Ian makes me laugh.
He continues, “Did he tell you that? That you weren’t someone he’d marry?”
“Yes. Not that I was ever thinking about marrying him, but it still stung a little.”
“He didn’t even know you, Sparkles.” Gavin brushes some hair behind my ear and urges my face up, to meet his gaze. “He had no fucking clue how amazing you are. I mean, did he ever tell you how adorable it is that you wiggle your toes when you have your first sip of wine? Did he ever notice how sexy you look when you’re building a PowerPoint presentation? Or that perfectly serene face you make when you’re listening to your favorite music?” He pulls me closer to him until his lips brush my ear. “Did he ever feel how soft and perfect you are after a second orgasm?”
I gasp and he catches it with his lips, kissing me deeply. “I know he missed all of that. Because no one would let you go if they knew you like I do.”
This. This is what love feels like. I haven’t won a prize or reached a goal. Fuck the ladder. I never needed to be perfect. Being understood is so much better. Love is a house. And ours is going to be magnificent.
“I love you, Scottie. A whole damn lot.”
Tears threaten to spill again, but they’re interrupted by a phone buzzing between us. Mine.
Tristan Cross:
Are you sure I can’t convince you to drive together?
I open the text so both Gavin and I can see. He’s never even hinted at not trusting me, but considering that I’m definitely playing with fire here, I’m being as forthcoming as possible.
“What are you gonna say?” he asks.
“The truth of course.”
Me:
I’m already in Sonoma. Spending the night with my family. I hope you’re excited for tomorrow, though. I can confirm we’ll be barrel tasting a few upcoming vintages
“Just in case he still needed motivation,” I say.
Tristan Cross:
You and a wine thief sounds like quite the fantasy
Ugh. Does he have to make everything sexual?
“What’s he talking about?” Gavin asks.
“Oh. A wine thief. It’s a tool we use to pull wine out of the barrel. Like a pretty glass turkey baster…kind of. It’s really fun to use, actually. I’ll show you when we get back.”
“Damnit,” he swears under his breath. “Now I’m thinking the same thing as that asshole.”
I laugh and type back to Tristan, wanting to end this conversation.
Me:
See you at eleven!
“Let’s head back,” I say, just before I’m interrupted by my phone again.
Andie Oh:
Hey love bug! Daanesh wants to come with us tomorrow. He wanted me to check with you first though since I know you’re planning a meal and everything
Me:
Of course he can come. Does he usually attend stuff like this though?
“I swear I didn’t say anything to him. Other than I was coming,” Gavin says, his hands up in surrender.
Andie Oh:
Mario invited him. I don’t know if he’s a secret wine lover or what, but he seems to have really high hopes for this
Me:
Honestly, I still can’t believe Mario knows my name
“Why would you say that?” Gavin asks. “Our office isn’t that big.”
“I don’t know. Mario just seems like the perfect executive. He’s always getting written up in blogs on LinkedIn. Why would he have time for the little people like me?”
“Liv, you’ve been the highest producer on the global sales development team for a year now. You helped source the two largest deals we’ve ever closed as a company. And you took it upon yourself to plan this event, which is not only bringing three huge prospects, but several of our largest clients to help with retention. If Mario didn’t know your name by now, he would actually be a shit executive.”
My cheeks burn at so many consecutive complements. Don’t be ridiculous. That’s nothing. The words sit on my tongue, burning to be let out. I swallow them down along with their bitter taste.
And I find some new ones.
“You’re right,” I say. “I’m killing it. Plus, who could forget the name Olivia Diamond?”
“Exactly.” He kisses my nose and my toes curl into the soft grass beneath us.
“Can I drive home?” I ask, battling my eyelashes. The sun is just starting to set, casting a blanket of gold over all the rolling hills. The perfect time for a joyride.
“Liv, you still don’t have your license. I should never have let you drive in the first place.”
“But I’ll be so careful! And I made an appointment to get it next week. Please? Don’t you want to be a rule breaker? Just a little bit?”
He grunts. “Fine. It’s your world, Sparkles. I’m just living in it.”