Chapter 36
CHAPTER 36
ABIGAIL
H umid Florida air clung to my skin as I stepped out of our Uber, the salty tang of the ocean ever present on the gentle breeze. In the distance, sea gulls cried, their squawks blending with the excited chatter of families all around.
Bright, tropical colors of turquoise, coral, and sea-green adorned the buildings on the outside, the scents of sunscreen and popcorn mingling with that faint briny aroma of the water. Painted images of leaping dolphins and swirling waves decorated the walls, the sound of splashing water and an enthusiastic announcer’s voice filtering from what I assumed was the stadium within.
Excitement spiraled through me, taking control of my heartbeat and the pace of my footsteps. Simon chuckled by my side, walking with his fingers tucked into his pockets and effortlessly keeping up. “Would you look at that? For someone who wasn’t home , you sure seem to be in a hurry to get in there.”
“Do you blame me?” I threw my arms out to my sides and turned to walk sideways so I could gawk at him for appearing so calm. “This is so cool. I’ve always wanted to come here.”
I couldn’t see his eyes behind his sunglasses, but I did see his brow pucker slightly. “Then why haven’t you?”
“I’ve been busy,” I said breezily. “Some of us haven’t spent our adult lives traveling all over.”
“For work,” he protested jokingly. “I was traveling for work.”
I chuckled, turning to face forward again. We got our tickets and made our way inside. The first thing that struck me as we entered was the shaded walkways lined with plush palm trees, just like the setup at our hotel.
Children rushed ahead all around us, excitedly pointing at giant tanks where all manner of colorful fish darted in and out of rocky reefs. Some glided seamlessly through the water while others appeared to simply be hanging around, suspended in the clear blue water.
A touch pool off to one side lured all the children toward it and I glanced at Simon, finally pulling off my sunglasses to marvel at our surroundings. “Is it weird that I want to go to the touch pool too?”
He swept a hand out toward it, his own sunglasses now hanging from the V of his Henley tee. “Go for it.”
While I was bursting at the seams to get to it, I waited my turn behind the kids, simply peering over their heads. The creatures moved gracefully through the water in the pool. When the kids thinned out, I stepped up and felt the slick skin of a ray as it skated by. I was smiling from ear to ear by the time I finally fell back, leaving the remaining children to the exhibit meant mostly for them.
Simon gaze was strangely reverent on mine when I looked at him again, his edges somehow softer than usual. I frowned. “What? Why are you looking at me like that? I’m gonna wash my hands.”
“No, I just forgot how much you love going out to do this kind of thing,” he said slowly, blinking a couple times before he looked around like he was seeing the place from a whole new perspective. “I’ve missed your spontaneity, Abigail Walker.”
“Is that your way of saying that you’ve missed me?” I teased, but my heart was suddenly doing all kinds of leaps and squeezes. “I’ve missed doing stuff with you too, though it would be nice if you could muster up some actual enthusiasm. Touch one fish.”
He paused for the beat, then clapped his hands together and nodded. “Right. Let’s do this.”
I took his hand and dragged him over to the touch pool. Finding an empty spot, I grabbed his wrist and plunged his hand into the cold water.
“They’re not going to bite me, are they?” he asked.
I giggled. “Only if you show fear.”
“Wait, really?”
A fat fish whose name I didn’t know bumped up against Simon’s hand and he snatched it out of the water like it was on fire.
“You barely even touched it,” I complained.
“It still counts,” he insisted.
“Okay, fine. I suppose we should get moving if we want to see all the different stuff.”
He nodded, looking relieved. “Which way are we going first?”
“Everywhere,” I said, totally awed as we fell into step with a group heading right. “The energy is here so freaking electric. I love it.”
The quiet hum of ocean life, chatter, and laughter surrounded us as we moved from one tank to the next. I pointed at a vibrant orange, white, and black fish, waiting until Simon leaned to study the little guy before taking a small step the side so he’d be able to see what I was talking about.
“Did you know that clownfish can live harmless inside sea anemones without being stung?” I asked. “They’ve got a special coating that protects them. Their relationship is one of those really awesome, symbiotic types in nature. The anemone provides the clownfish with shelter and food while the fish keep the anemone clean and provide it with nutrients.”
He nodded slowly as he straightened up, swinging those greens that seemed almost transcendent in this light toward me. “You’re right. That is pretty cool.”
“Next up, we’ve got the octopus tank. They’ve got three hearts,” I said emphatically. “ Three . One pumps oxygenated blood to the gills and the other two pump blood through the body.”
“Wow,” he said. “You’re such a nerd. I had no idea.”
I narrowed my eyes at him playfully. “Only about this. Well, this and work, but yeah. I suppose I am. I’m a marine nerd.”
I kept spouting off random facts until we finally arrived at the seahorse exhibit. My heart started beating faster, my insides melting as I watched the creatures I’d always admired bob around in their tank.
“Okay, spill,” he said, standing so close to me that I could feel the radiating heat of him on my skin in the cool dark of the chamber we were in. “Why have you always loved these things so much? They just kind float and move around. They don’t even look like horses.”
“They don’t just float,” I corrected him not so gently, my passion for them taking hold of my heart—and my tone of voice. “Do you see that rapid fluttering? That’s its dorsal fin. It beats up to fifty times a second and it’s what provides their forward momentum. Those tiny fins on either sides of their heads are their pectoral fins, and those help with balance and steering.”
“None of which tells me why you have such a thing about them,” he said, smiling as he glanced at me. “Unless it really is just about their fins? I mean, they’re so ugly that they’re cute, but I don’t really see the big deal.”
“Well, you wouldn’t know it just by looking at them, but they’re some of only sea creatures who mate for life,” I explained as I examined a pair sticking close together. “They’re highly monogamous and so, they form pair bonds through super unique courtship rituals, and once that’s done, it’s done.”
“Courtship rituals? Like dinner and a movie?”
“Close.” I smiled fondly as I watched them. “It’s mostly made of synchronized swimming and what’s regarded by humans as a form of dancing . During mating season, they’ll even hold their tails together to stay close to one another. It’s beautiful.”
“So it’s got nothing to do with the fact that the males carry the eggs?”
I laughed. “That’s certainly part of it. The females transfer their eggs to them for fertilization and the male carries them from there. It helps to strengthen their pair bonds and I totally get that. If a man loved me enough to carry all of my babies, I’d love him forever too.”
“Think research has gotten us to the point where that’s possible for humans yet?” he asked, not as lightly or as jokingly as I might’ve expected. “You know, for my own research purposes.”
I laughed again and finally tore my eyes away from the tank to look at him. “No man on the face of this earth would be willing to do that, but that’s also okay. I think for me, it’s mostly about the fact that they’re in it together for life, you know? The courtship ritual takes place, and after that, it’s those two sea horses against the world. Forever.”
He hesitated but only for a beat. “Is that what you want?”
“Yep.” I wasn’t ashamed of it at all and I never had been. I just hadn’t been particularly vocal about it as a teenager. It’d all seemed so far off, so while he and I had talked about it and I’d really thought we’d have it together one day, I hadn’t wanted him to think I was expecting him to pop the question as soon as we graduated. “I only want to get married once, but I want it to be the kind of love my parents have.”
“What kind of love is that?” he asked, leaning a little closer with those greens entirely focused only one me. “I remember them being really sweet, and always holding hands, and stuff, but what specifically do they have that you want?”
“The kind of love where you dance around in your kitchen after the kids go to bed. The kind that is constantly strengthened because both people are working together to make it stronger. Clearly, seahorses have it figured out and I want that.”
“You want seahorse love. Of course. Leave it to you to find something crazy deep and powerful in something so small.” He smiled, taking a small step closer to me without ever breaking eye contact. “Last question.”
“Uh-huh?”
“Did you ever think you found the person you could have it with?”
“Once.” I spun away from him then, sliding my phone out of my back pocket to get some shots of the seahorses before we moved on—and before he could ask any other questions that I didn’t really want to get into the details of right then.
Since we’d only had a couple hours to begin with, the time to leave came way too soon. At the gift shop on our way out though, I paused to look at an adorable bracelet with seahorse charms on it. I ran my finger over the little silver pendants, seriously considering getting it until I realized how goofy it would look with my everyday business wear back home.
Putting it back in the display cabinet, I turned to find Simon watching me and I jerked my head toward the exit. “Ready to go, or would you like to sleep with the fishes tonight?”
“At least that doesn’t mean the same thing here as it does back home,” he joked. “Even so, I don’t think it’ll be as much as fun as it sounds.”
I sighed. “Unfortunately, I agree with you. Come on. Let’s get back and grab dinner early from room service. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”
Simon followed me out and into the Uber he’d ordered for us. In the dark of the backseat, his hand found mine and I wrapped my fingers around his. Holding them tight, I looked at the city lights and the wide, clean streets, absolutely shocked that I was really here with Simon freaking Astor.
A little overwhelmed by that fact, I let go of his hand when we got back to our hotel and paused outside my door. “I think I’ll just get ready for bed and eat while I finish up a few last things.”
His gaze lingered on mine, but then he nodded. “Sure thing. I should probably call it a night too. Just one last thing.”
“What’s that?”
Reaching out, he grabbed my hips, tugged me closer, and stepped into me. Then his lips descended to mine for a kiss that almost made me forget about everything else. Thankfully, he broke it before it got out of control and I smiled against his lips. “Good night, Simon.”
“Good night, Abi.”
He disappeared into his room and I headed into mine, kicking off my shoes before ordering a burger and fries from the hotel kitchen. While I waited for it to be delivered, I took a quick shower and changed into my pajamas, towel drying my hair and constantly thinking about Simon.
I had come to really, really like him again. There was still so much he knew about me and I was surprised that he remembered so many little things I’d have thought he’d forgotten. It made me feel like perhaps, there was a possibility for us to be together again after all—once we worked out a few kinks—but my stomach clenched when I remembered his father.
Can we ever actually be together if he’s always there to push us apart? I didn’t know, but mercifully, my food arrived before I could agonize over it too much.
As I sat down on my bed with my dinner next to me, I decided to Facetime with my sisters instead of working. I needed to wind down so I’d be able to get some sleep. We really did have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.
“I’m going to come visit in New York next week,” Liv announced after we’d all said hi. “I miss the heck out of you.”
“You mean you’ll be leaving me alone with Liam? I’d have to knock his teeth in just to get some silence,” London complained loudly, her face scrunching up as she shook her head. “No, that’s not okay. I’m coming with you.”
I giggled at her mention of him so soon after the start of the call. “Are y’all enemies or lovers? Because you can’t seem to stop talking about him.”
“We’re neither,” she said firmly. “Both would require me to be emotionally invested, and I can stop talking about him.”
Liv winked and she and I both laughed. I had a feeling London’s situation with Liam was almost as complicated as mine with Simon—just in different ways. Olivia was lucky she’d found Cowboy Charlie, and that the only thing that had stood between them was something that eventually hadn’t been impossible to overcome.
Somehow, I just didn’t think that Simon and I would ever be that lucky.