Chapter 69
CHAPTER 69
SIMON
S hit. So she wasn’t asleep.
I hadn’t been sure, but I’d known there had been a chance I’d spoken too soon. On the other hand, I hadn’t really been trying to hide it. It was what I’d been feeling in that moment and I’d wanted her to know, even if it might’ve turned out that I’d only been speaking to her subconscious.
Looking into her eyes now though, with the soft light from her bedside lamp casting a cozy glow over the room and the house all quiet, I was glad she’d heard me. “I really didn’t ever stop loving you, Abigail. You’re the only woman I’ve ever felt that way about and none of those feelings ever went away. They didn’t even fade. I just learned how to live with them, without you.”
“Why didn’t you ever come back then?” Her voice was quiet, but the pain and curiosity in it was so genuine that it crushed my heart a little bit. “I think part of me was always waiting for you to. You’ve been back in the city, what, six years now? You never said anything. Never even came to say hi.”
“Because I knew how much pain I’d caused you,” I admitted on a raspy whisper. “I was still carrying so much shame over the way I left, and honestly, I thought you were better off without me. I thought you might’ve moved on. That you…”
I sucked in a sharp breath and turned my face into my palm. “Never mind. Selfishly, I’m glad I was wrong. Happy that you never moved on. I know I shouldn’t be, but I do love you, Abi. It would’ve killed me to see you with someone else.”
“You still could’ve come to talk to me at least,” she murmured. “Let me know you were alive.”
“I was still so broken from losing Brooks.” Pain shot through me when I thought back to those first couple years after moving home. To the city where I’d lost him. “I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to put myself back together again. Plus, I was working for my father and I knew I couldn’t offer you much. I had so little left of myself and I… I was hoping that you had moved on. As much as it would’ve killed me, I convinced myself that you were happy.”
“I would’ve given up the whole world to be with you, Si. That’s why I never moved on. I knew that it wouldn’t be fair to the guy I ended up being with, because I knew that he’d always be my second choice.”
“I know, and I’ve had to live with that for almost a decade.” I finally looked at her again, my heart tearing itself into shreds at the hurt and uncertainty I saw in her eyes. “That’s the exact same reason I never moved on. That’s how I know, Abi.”
She hesitated for a long moment. “You have to promise me that you won’t choose between me and your father. If it comes up, you have to tell me. You have to share that with me. I don’t want you losing your career and your family just so we can have another shot.”
“It’ll all work out,” I promised. “I’m all grown up now and I can speak for myself where my father is concerned, but I do promise that if it comes up, I’ll tell you. Keeping secrets from you is what got us into this complicated mess in the first place. If I had just talked to you instead of writing that letter, we could have avoided so much pain.”
“Just never hold back with me again.”
“You have my word.”
“Good.” She managed a weak smile before she flipped onto her back and reached for the light switch. “Now hold me and let’s go to sleep. We’re in for another long day tomorrow.”
I tipped an imaginary hat at her. “At your service, my love.”
At the moment, I saw her eyes widen before she switched off the light, hiding her expression from me as she cuddled into my arms. By the time my eyes adjusted to the moonlight streaming into the bedroom, her breathing had evened out and I was half asleep myself. It’d been a heck of a day, and we were set to do it all over again tomorrow.
Long before sunrise, I stirred at the sound of doors opening and closing, soft murmurs coming from downstairs. When I glanced at the digital clock on my nightstand and saw that it was four on the dot, I gathered Abi back into my arms and held her close, sleeping until I only woke up again when she was waking up.
We spent the day together at the rodeo again, but on our final day, I got to help Charlie out on the ranch while his family manned their booth now that everything was all set up and running smoothly.
Our quick trip to Texas had been a blast, but when we got back to New York, it would be time to get back to business—and we were heading to the airport in less than three hours.
Fuck. Now I really am wishing I could just be a cowboy.
The presentation was only a few days away and I still needed to win the client. Or at least try. Charlie glanced at me and pulled his work gloves off when we left the barn. His brow furrowed as his eyes searched mine.
“You okay, man?”
“Yeah, I’m good,” I fibbed, but then I sighed, planting my hands on my hips and stopping to tip my head back so I could feel the glorious Texas sunshine on my face. “I’m not good. I don’t really feel like I’m ready to go back. We’re at the pointy end of the competition and it’s only me and Abi left. I don’t want to lose her and I might just be about to.”
He clasped a hand around my shoulder. “Take it from me. If it’s meant to be, you’ll find a way to work through it. All you need to do is want to. Fight for her. No matter who or what it is you’ve got to fight.”
I nodded slowly, finally falling into step beside him when he started walking in. “It wasn’t easy for you and Liv?”
He laughed. “Hell no, but nothing worth getting ever is.”
When we reached their place, his brothers were saying goodbye to Abi and someone had already brought her things downstairs. I grabbed them before anyone else could put them in the truck. Then I smacked a sound kiss to her lips before I headed upstairs for one last quick shower.
Only Liv, Charlie, and London were left in the kitchen when I got back downstairs, my own bags packed and with me. Liv smiled as I walked toward them. “There you are. Alright, now that everyone is here, Charlie and I have an announcement to make.”
Abigail’s entire face lit up and she leaned forward. “Are you going to start trying?”
“Eh.” Charlie lifted his hand and canted it from side to side. “We’re kind of already past that.”
London frowned. “What does that mean?”
Olivia’s eyes misted over as she pulled a slim white pen out of her back pocket. “Charlie and I are having our first baby. We just found out.”
My heart started pounding when I realized the pen wasn’t a pen, but a pregnancy test. Her sisters started jumping up and down and screaming, throwing themselves—gently—at Liv while I snapped out of my shock and grinned at Charlie.
“Congratulations, man. That’s huge.” I extended my hand toward him, and instead of just taking it to shake, he used his grip on me to pull me into a quick, back-thumping hug.
“See,” he murmured. “She wanted to wait until you were with us to tell them, Simon. You’re already part of the family. All you’ve got to do now is want to.”
And I did want to. I wanted it more than anything. All the way back home, his words were rattling around in my mind, and a plan was starting to come together, but first, we needed to get through the presentations.
When we got to Abi’s house, I carried her stuff in for her, then slid an arm around her hips and pulled her to me, but I didn’t move away from her front door. “This is it?”
“You’re sure you don’t want to come in? You can stay if you want.”
I groaned and dropped my forehead to hers, breathing her in before I shook my head. “I want to, but I shouldn’t. No doubt you’re going to want to jump straight into planning for the presentation in the morning and I don’t want to get in your way.”
“You wouldn’t, but I get it.” She pressed her soft lips to mine, seriously making me question my sanity for even thinking about leaving. “Good night, Simon.”
“Good night, Abi. I’ll see you for the presentations.” I lingered for another moment before I forced myself to let her go. “Don’t forget about the family dinner after.”
She chuckled. “I won’t, and don’t worry. It’s going to be great.”
“I sure hope so.” I honestly wasn’t sure what to think about my parents’ intentions when they’d invited her, though.
The only thing I knew for certain was that no matter what, I refused to let my father tear us apart again. Whatever curve ball he planned on throwing at us this time, it wasn’t going to work. I would be prepared—even if I had no idea what he might be planning.