Chapter 18
Eighteen
ZAKAI
Thanks to Uttin’s little game and all his training, we were both sweaty when we returned to his tent.
He warmed a pot of water but instead of handing me the bar of soap so I could clean up, he stripped us both and dragged me against him, running the soap over my skin.
I hummed in pleasure, leaning into his touch.
It was nice to be pampered after a long day.
After a while, though, I got jealous of his seductive exploration. The barbarian holding me had a body made for worshipping, and in my opinion, I didn’t get to explore it enough. I put my hand out for the soap bar, sticking my lip out in my signature pout.
“My turn?”
His slow, sultry grin made it impossible for me not to lean in and kiss him.
The kiss was slow and languid, not rushed like it normally was when he teased me until I was frantic for him.
He drew me down onto the rug, ignoring the probability that it would become wet with us washing upon it.
I usually stood in an uncovered area in the corner so as not to make a mess, but sitting in the dirt didn’t sound sexy in the slightest to me.
Starting with his shoulders, I ran the bar of soap over his skin, every once in a while dipping it in the water to create more suds.
Uttin dragged me into his lap when I stretched to reach his other side, causing me to end up straddling him with our cocks brushing together in a delicious tease.
I felt my breath quicken at how exposed I felt but gamely kept going, Simon’s words in my head.
My parents would never find out so long as I didn’t tell them.
And if I was going to be forced back home and into a marriage I didn’t want, I wanted to enjoy as much of what Uttin had to offer as I could.
He didn’t immediately touch me, letting me explore to my heart’s content.
It was only when I rose to my knees to better reach his hair that his hands slowly slid up my thighs to my ass.
I bit my lip, looking into his eyes with an unsteady breath.
I was already mostly hard just from the sensual touches, and I felt my cock twitch as his finger ghosted over my hole.
I sucked in a breath, my hands frozen in his hair as uncertainty threatened to choke me.
“No?” he queried in my own tongue, his eyes filled with warmth and patience. I knew without a doubt if I said no, he would immediately stop and move on to an activity he knew I enjoyed. It made it easier for me to make up my mind.
“Yes, but…” I chewed on my lip, searching for the words I needed. “Be kind.”
He hummed a low sound, stretching his neck so his lips could reach mine. He kissed me softly without pushing for more, and when he pulled back, he put one hand on his chest in a gesture I’d seen a lot of the warriors do before.
“Yes, tavi. Kind.” Then he said something I didn't know, but I made a guess based on his expression. He was giving me his word that he wouldn’t hurt me.
Satisfied with his promise, I leaned down to kiss him again, tangling my tongue with his in another slow glide that made my stomach quicken and my breath catch.
Uttin didn’t rush or make demands. He let me return to washing his hair, his hands sliding up and down my body in gentle caresses while I focused on rinsing the soap with the little cup he provided.
We were making a mess, but the portion of rug he’d chosen was close to the fire.
Hopefully it would dry quickly. And he didn’t seem bothered by it.
He was entirely focused on me, those ocean blue eyes watching me with a fire burning inside them.
That heated look made my skin burn, and I forgot for a moment we were in a barbarian village surrounded by snow.
I was so warm, I felt like we could be in my home, surrounded by mountains of pillows with a warm wind on our skin and a touch of humidity in the air.
I decided in that moment that I wanted to bring him there.
He promised me he’d be the one to bring me home.
I’d never risked having sex with a male in the capital, and especially not in the palace where the consequences would be severe if we were caught, but I couldn’t get the image out of my head.
The hands that had been slowly exploring my skin disappeared for a moment, but I was too distracted by the next kiss to pull away to find out why. Not until Uttin’s fingers returned to my ass, covered in a slippery oil when he massaged my hole.
“Ah!” I cried out eagerly, breaking the kiss and rocking my hips automatically from the touch. I’d been cautiously curious when he touched me there before, but now, with oil easing the glide, I wanted more. “Uttin!”
“Good, tavi. You’re so good.”
I whimpered at the praise, squirming as he traced around my rim.
Was it supposed to feel this good? Or did this have something to do with the magic Simon mentioned?
Even when I’d explored myself, it had never felt this good.
If it had, I would have had a lot more difficulty avoiding it all these years.
Pressure made my breath catch and my eyes widened as Uttin’s finger slipped inside.
Simon was right that there was a slight burn but no pain.
Nothing that would make me want him to stop.
The soap fell carelessly from my hand, my fingers delving into the damp strands of his hair as he slowly dragged his finger in and out.
Without conscious thought, my hips began to move, rocking with his touch.
The entire time, I couldn’t look away from Uttin’s gaze.
I was trapped there, my heart hammering in my chest.
He removed his finger for a moment, and when he came back, a second entered with it, stretching me.
I knew the process, I’d done it plenty of times myself, but I’d never realized the impatience my partners felt was because of more than just my touch.
As each finger entered me, the burn faded and need took its place.
I wanted more. And he gave it to me, adding another finger until he was four deep, and it still wasn’t enough.
The only thing that would give me what I wanted was his cock.
“Uttin…” I whined.
His half-lidded gaze sparked with amusement as he pulled his fingers free.
I finally looked away, glancing down to watch as he spread the oil over his cock until it shone in the light of the fire.
If I knew the words, I would have commented about it being a bit much.
Before I could even make an attempt, he held his cock upright and guided me over it with a hand on my hip, nipping at my chin to get my attention.
“Your turn.”
Confused, it took me a moment to understand his meaning.
He wouldn’t thrust up into me like I’d expected.
He didn’t turn me onto my back or belly and put his body over mine.
Instead, he was giving me control of how much I took from him, his hand on my hip only guiding me as I slowly sank down.
The trust I felt toward him only multiplied, and that feeling that I was weaker for taking his cock disappeared entirely.
There was no weaker or stronger. We were equals, and I had the power to say when it was enough no matter what we were doing.
Swallowing hard around the swell of emotions, I focused on the feel of him as he pushed past that first ring of muscle.
The burn was back, more intense this time, but Uttin didn’t rush me.
He kept his hands on my hips, eyes on mine as I took a deep breath and sank down a little more.
His nostrils flared, and he groaned in the back of his throat, fingers tightening for a second before he forced himself to relax.
Seeing his struggle to maintain his composure made me grin.
I loved seeing the stoic man fighting with his instincts to pound into me. It made me feel powerful.
“Uttin…”
By the time I was fully seated in Uttin’s lap, I was panting. Despite having had him in my mouth and hand multiple times, I somehow hadn’t thought he would be that big. My body trembled until the burn turned into something more pleasurable and the discomfort faded.
Uttin hummed his approval, like he could tell when I relaxed. “Good, tavi. More?”
I nodded, but I’d never taken a partner in this position before, even in Uttin’s place. I wasn’t entirely sure how.
With his grip on my hips, Uttin took over long enough to guide my hips in a slow grind, his jaw flexing with strain as he encouraged, “Like this. Or—” He lifted me up and back down, grunting as my ass met his lap again. “Like this. You choose.”
Biting my lip, I rolled my hips like he showed me, watching in fascination as his eyes fluttered and he sucked in a breath.
When I lifted up and down a few times, his fingers flexed on my hips and his mouth fell open, his breath coming out in pants.
Was it odd that I was getting as much pleasure watching his face as I was from his cock inside me?
And that was saying something, given how good it felt to take his cock.
The desire I’d felt for so many years, the dreams I had of finally being taken, were nothing compared to reality.
The slow grind made the pleasure burn through me like a thick syrup, while bouncing caused sparks like the colorful explosions the alchemists of the palace created for my last birthday celebration.
I couldn’t decide which sensation I wanted more.
“Ungh, Zakai…” Uttin groaned, head dropping back in pleasure.
I watched his reactions to each movement, and a smile flitted momentarily across my face when I lifted off again and slammed back down, loving his fierce pleasure.
He growled low and his fingers tightened, helping me repeat the movement as his impatience grew.
My thighs burned from the effort of riding him, my breath like that of a race horse, but I couldn’t focus on any of it.
Uttin, the troublemaker, drew my arms off his neck, pulling my hands behind my back and holding them in one of his.
He knew what it did to me when he captured me like that, and I felt my pleasure climb higher as sparkles edged my vision.
It was when he sank his hand into my hair, pulling slightly as he dragged me in for a deep kiss that I lost all sense.
I moaned into his mouth, my cum splashing across his chest as I rode out the waves of pleasure.
Heat flooded inside of me as Uttin growled through his release, his hips bucking up and dragging out my orgasm until I was sure I’d pass out.
Never in my life had I ever come that hard.
And it wasn’t until Uttin had cleaned us up and I was curled against his side that I realized the mistake I’d made.
It was hard enough to accept that sex with a man would be impossible once I returned home.
I’d be lucky if my parents ever let me leave the palace again.
But knowing I wouldn’t ever experience this kind of pleasure once I left this place hit me hard.
I didn’t want to go.