18. Saxon
Chapter eighteen
Saxon
Shit happens. I wanted to visit Kay and Donny during their break, but my schedule didn’t work out.
I’d taken too much time at Christmas and other people wanted to take off.
Well, it felt like bullshit. It had been over two months since all three of us were together.
I stormed through the firehouse, nearly blind with unjustified anger.
I headed to my bunk for this shift and ran straight into Colten. “Ow. Dude.” He scowled at me. I was relieved it was him and not someone else who wouldn’t understand.
“Sorry.” I lay back on the mattress with my hands under my head and elbows poking out. Colten kicked my thigh. I wanted a top bunk next time. “Stop it.”
“No. You bust in here all pissed off and shit and ran me over. In fact, you’ve been a miserable ass since Christmas. I thought you liked these guys.” He waved a hand as if my guys were standing there now, which they weren’t, and that was why I was so fucking miserable.
“I like them. Too much.”
“Then why so mad, bro?”
I turned to my side to glare at him. “Because they are not here.” I had seen Donny a couple of times when he had to be in LA for work, but it wasn’t the same without Kay there. I needed them both. “Kay is on tour. And his breaks are spent in Miami.”
“Why? Doesn’t one of them live out here? Why can’t they come out here?”
I shrugged. I hadn’t asked either. Before I thought about it, Mitch called from the kitchen. He’d made a lunch spread. “I’m hungry. Let’s go eat.”
“Sure, if that’ll get that sourpuss off your ugly mug.” He bumped into my shoulder when I stood.
“I’m trying, but I’m unsure of how to navigate this situation. Seriously, I’m clueless here.”
“I get it. Let me know if I can help.” He grabbed my shoulder and shook me a little.
He was the best friend I’d ever had, and he never judged my unconventional choices.
We had been friends for a long time, and he knew everything I’d gone through in life.
From my parents’ rejection when I came out, to how they didn’t tell me when my sister was sick, and then I had to find out about her death from my cousin.
They’d ignored me completely at the funeral, treating me like it was my fault.
It wasn’t. She had cancer. I hadn’t spoken to anyone in the family since, aside from Anders, my cousin, and that was only occasionally.
I crammed all of that family drama down where I didn’t have to examine it.
Because fuck that and fuck them. “Fuck it. Let’s eat. ”
The spread had cold cuts, cheeses, two different kinds of lettuce, tomatoes, baby carrots, chopped broccoli, and a few other finger foods.
I grabbed a sub roll and started loading up.
Colten did the same, and then we sat to eat.
The food was fresh and delicious and one of the best parts of working in a firehouse. There was always great food.
When we finished eating, there was other stuff to do, starting with the daily inspection and maintenance of the truck and equipment. A few other guys were already cleaning up from lunch. No one ever balked at cleaning. We were a well-running machine and prided ourselves on it.
“Hey, Sax…” Colten asked as we worked together to unreel the main hose for our truck.
“Hmm?”
“You should call Donny. When we’re done here. Ask him about this break. Maybe they can come here. At least for part of it. Just…”
“Just what?”
“Don’t do what you normally do and clam up.
” He was right that I tended to stop communicating when I was working through shit, especially emotional shit.
I’d had a couple of breakups due to that.
But in both of those cases, the guys weren’t worth trying to fix it.
Donny and Kay, though? They were worth trying not to break it in the first place.
“How the fuck did you get so lucky anyway?”
“What do you mean?”
“Get real, Sax. You have not one, but two gorgeous men. I mean, come on. Don is…stunning. Model good looks.”
“Well, his mother was a star or something. Did a few movies—”
“Whatever. Because even with how handsome he is with all that bone structure and shit, Kay is a fucking rock star and looks every bit the part. Simply ravishing.”
“They are. You’re right. I am lucky.” And not because of how gorgeous they were, but who they were.
Colten snorted. “Not like you’re simply an ordinary dude either, with all this Viking god persona thing you got going on here.” He waved his hand around my body.
“Shut the fuck up.” I shoved him away.
“I’m serious. If we weren’t such good friends…mm…” He leered at me, the goof.
“But we are. More like brothers, so no.”
“Sure you don’t want to spare one of those littles?”
“No fucking way.” I flipped him off.
“Seriously, though. You’re right. I see how hard it is to be away from them. I hear you, bro.”
We went through our inspections and tests of equipment and then took a break.
I went to the back of the house, where we had set up a couple of benches out of the way under some trees.
It was a calming area and often had guys hanging out here after calls to try and recharge or regroup or whatever, but it was currently empty. I pulled out my phone, taking a seat.
Donny answered with exuberance. “Daddy! I miss you.”
“Where are you?” I never knew. It had proven hard to keep up with where they were in the tour. I had their schedule but didn’t check it.
“On the way to meet up with them in New York. They have a sound check and then a press conference. It’s a big show for them. Then we have Boston and Spring Break after that.”
“Sounds exciting. Tell Kay I’ll be thinking of him.”
“You sound sad.” Donny was extremely perceptive, even over the phone. It probably made him a great lawyer and also a great businessman in dealing with his clients or gaining new ones.
“I miss you guys. And, uh, I can’t get off work for the break.”
“No. That sucks. Are you going to be in the firehouse the whole time?”
“No, but only one day breaks. I’m covering other people since I was off at Christmas. So, I have two on, one off, one on, like that.”
“Maybe send me your schedule. We could fly out there for part of the break. Maybe.”
“That’s great. I miss you so much.”
“You said that, but we miss you too. I can’t promise anything, but we’re going to try.”
“That’s all a guy can ask for.”
The call went better than I expected. I was falling so hard for these two guys, for both different reasons and the same. They were a package deal, and I wondered if any other daddy would be better equipped to handle them. That thought sure made me jealous. Nope, I couldn’t let them go.
Then the alarm rang, and I ran back into the house. We had a call to answer.