Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
Andi
“Well…shit.” I looked straight down into the deep blue water.
We were a long way up. I hoped like hell they didn't expect us to climb out and jump. I wasn't sure if I could. I was trying to grab life by the horns and enjoy it, but this was too big a leap, literally and figuratively.
“At least we're not hanging upside down,” Cam remarked. He peered past me, into the water.
“That makes me feel a little bit better,” I admitted.
“Only a little bit?” He gave me a slight smile, broad enough to pop a dimple in his cheek.
I told myself my racing heart was due to being stuck here, on a bright green carriage at the top of a rollercoaster neither of us had ridden.
I quickly realized why I'd never been on the ride before now. I was held back by my perfectly rational fear of being stuck at the top of a rollercoaster. It was the universe telling me not to take risks. I should have opted for the cotton candy and a giant teddy bear.
A few minutes on the ground with a friend should have been enough. I was furious with my mother and that led me to do something irrational. Something I was now starting to regret.
“I mean, we're still stuck here,” I said. “I've seen videos of people who were stuck for hours. What if that happens now? We could be up here all night.” My voice rose higher with every word.
“The view is stunning.” He gestured around us, but his gaze was on me. “The sun is setting. We'll have a bird’s eye view of a beautiful sunset.”
“I'm more worried we'll have a bird’s eye view of a beautiful sunrise ,” I said.
The plastic seat wouldn't be comfortable all night. Sooner or later, we'd get hungry and thirsty. And need to pee.
“We won't be up here that long. Right now, they're working on a way to get us down.” He sounded sure of that.
I leaned against him and tried to ignore the way the carriage rocked in the breeze. “Can I tell you something?”
“Of course.” He put his arm around me and cupped my shoulder with his big hand. “Anything. Right now, you have my undivided attention.”
I snorted softly. “It's not like you can get up and walk away.”
“That's true,” he said. “You might as well spill.”
“This might come as a surprise to you,” I said dryly, “but I don't really like not being in control. Sitting here and waiting for help, it's…" I shook my head.
“Difficult?” he offered. “Slightly helpless? I feel all of that too. But you know what, I'm just going to enjoy this. How often do you get to sit out here over the ocean? The air smells clean up here. There's no hustle and bustle of people. No coach to yell at me. No one wanting to take a selfie with me.”
“So if I ask for a selfie, the answer is no?” I couldn't help asking.
“If you want to take a selfie, the answer is yes,” he said. “But you're not?—"
“A puck bunny,” I finished for him. “What if I was?”
“I wouldn't be up here with you if you were,” he said. His voice was suddenly tighter. Guarded.
“What happened?” I asked softly. I guessed he got burned, but I didn't know why or by whom.
“You still haven't googled me?” he asked.
“No, should I have?” I asked.
He pulled his phone out of his back pocket, turned on the screen and entered his name into a search engine. Without a word, he handed me the phone.
I glanced at him, but then down at the screen. There in front of me was a photo of him, I guessed from a couple of years ago. He was smiling into the camera, but his smile looked forced, like he really didn't want his picture taken.
In direct contrast, was a woman with short blonde hair, green eyes and a huge smile. She was leaning against him, her posture possessive.
The caption said her name was Clio George, actor and model. That figured, she was absolutely stunning. Her skin was flawless. My mother would have envied her figure. Hell, so did I. In theory, they were the perfect couple, attractive and famous.
“Scroll down,” Cam said .
I glanced over at him, but did as he suggested.
My heart lurched. I had to swallow down a knot of unexpected emotion that felt a little like jealousy.
Clio was clearly pregnant, her hand on her belly. Like the first photo, Cam stood beside her like he wanted to be anywhere else.
“We hooked up after that first photo,” he said. “It seemed like the thing to do at the time. Star hockey player, gorgeous model, we were supposed to be the perfect fit, or some bullshit.”
“And then she got pregnant,” I whispered.
“And then she got pregnant,” he agreed. “The longer we were together, the more I came to realize she was only with me because of who I was and what I could do for her career. Or what she thought I could do.” He shrugged.
“So you have a kid?” What was he doing here with me then? He should be buying cotton candy for his child, and winning giant teddy bears for them. Were they old enough to learn to skate? Would he teach them?
I had a feeling any child of his would learn to skate right after they learned to walk. And hold a stick right after that.
He grunted in response. “Nope. Turns out it wasn't mine. The other guy insisted on a paternity test to prove it wasn't his and it turned out it was. Joke was on him, I guess.”
He pressed his lips together so tight, his skin turned white. His brown eyes were unfocused, thinking back, obviously to a place he didn't want to think about any more. A place when a woman had pushed the knife into his heart and twisted the blade.
Why did I picture her laughing while she was doing it? Maybe it was as hard on her as it was on him.
“Shit,” I whispered. “That must have been…" I had no words. What he must have gone through. Thinking the baby was his, only to have that taken away. It was far worse than having someone pack up and leave without a word. What Xander did didn't even come close to this. He must have felt utterly betrayed.
“It was a relief,” he admitted. “I wanted to be a good dad, but not with her. Not for someone who couldn't see past my job and how much money I had in the bank. Not for someone who would have spent the rest of her career selling herself as wife of Mr. Cameron North. Mrs. Clio North, puck bunny.”
He didn't bother to hide his bitterness.
I couldn't blame him. What sort of person does that to another? Maybe she really thought the baby was his, but if there was any doubt, she should have been honest with him. I couldn't imagine lying like that to anyone, especially not when a child was involved.
“That explains why you're so—" I said, trying to find the right words.
“Grumpy?” he suggested. “Cranky? Angry?”
“Careful,” I said finally. “You got screwed over. If you weren't guarded, I'd be surprised and confused.” I let the silence fall again for a few moments.
“The night we met, you thought I was like that,” I said. “That I was just there to have my moment in the sun.”
“Something like that,” he agreed. “Beautiful women make me extra nervous.”
I snorted softly. “You must have known I'm not a model. I mean, look at me.” I waved a hand at myself.
“I am looking at you,” he said, his voice pitched low. “Why wouldn't you be a model? You're absolutely fucking gorgeous.” He tangled his fingers in my hair. He gripped it a little tighter before he leaned over to brush his lips over mine.
The rollercoaster car wasn't the only thing that stopped right then, my heart did too. I couldn't believe Cam was kissing me, of all people. Nor could I believe the jolt of electricity that snapped between us, all the way through my body and down into my core.
I missed the touch of his lips the moment he pulled back.
“I'm sorry,” he muttered before slipping his arm from around me. He didn't make any attempt to move further away, so our arms still touched, but his walls were back up. His expression was as guarded as the first time we met. Not as hostile, but just as careful.
“Don't be,” I said quickly. “We both got caught up in the heat of the moment.”
Was that all it was? We were feeling close and shared a kiss? An incredible, electrical kiss that I wanted to do over and over again. But just one kiss.
“Yeah, I got carried away,” he said. “I don't talk about Clio to many people. The guys know, Nate, Blake and Flynn, and Coach Lambton. Zack, unfortunately.” He grimaced. “Otherwise, it's a piece of my past I'd rather stay in my past. I probably shouldn't have told you about it.”
I handed back his phone. “I'm glad you did. Sometimes it's good to talk about things. You know, get them off your chest.” His chest was muscular, but even muscular chests struggled with the weight of things like that .
“What else are friends for, if not to share things so they don't live rent free in your brain?” I asked.
“Friends, right,” he said. He scratched above his eyebrow with his thumb. “You would have found out sooner or later. When you got curious and decided to look me up.”
“You're certain I would have done that,” I said lightly. The moment had gotten a little heavy and needed a sprinkle of levity to bring it back before it got too much.
“You definitely would,” he agreed, teasing lightly now. “You strike me as the curious type. The kind who needs to know everything about everything and everyone around her.”
“Did you just call me a control freak?” I asked, pretending to be offended.
“I think you admitted to being one,” he pointed out. “Something about not wanting to be helpless.”
“There's a difference between being stuck at the top of a rollercoaster and being nosy about people,” I said.
“There's a difference between being nosy about people and wanting to learn about the people who work for you,” he replied.
“There might be,” I said. “But I prefer to get to know people face-to-face. Anyone else who looked at those photos might have come to a different conclusion than what the actual truth is.”
They might have thought Cam and Clio had a happily ever after with their beautiful child. From the sound of it, that might have been the case. Not the happy ending, but if the child was his, it would definitely have been beautiful.
“I guess so,” he said, his voice soft again. “Like anyone who found out your father gave you a hockey team might perceive you as a spoiled little rich girl.”
“Is that how you see me?” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“I—"
Before he could respond to that, the carriage lurched a few inches back, before grinding forward and sliding down the incline.
All I could do was hang on, and wait for the ride to end.