Chapter 5
V.
The second siren comes in the middle of the night.
I jam my pillow over my ears and roll onto my back. Something pricks me between the shoulders, and I furrow my brows.
Wiggling my torso, I press into the mattress, the object pushing deeper into my skin. I flip over and study the bed, feeling along the top for a broken spring. There’s nothing there.
“What the here?”
I slip out of bed and pad toward the oval mirror in the corner of my room. I’m in a nightgown, so I only have to turn and pull the hair off my back in order to see them. Sharp corners in the shape of triangles poke out from beneath my shoulders, and my breath catches in my throat.
Wings.
Or, at least, the start of them.
Father warned me I might inherit his wings, but he refused to discuss it further.
His were severed in the Fall—an additional punishment to his banishment here.
They are now tacked up on the wall of his chambers, as if he dreams of one day slipping them on again.
Father mourns the loss of his wings like humans grieve for their loved ones. They’re his biggest regret.
Well, that and falling for my mother, whom we also never talk about.
My door slams.
I spin from the mirror and gasp at the familiar face. “Nathan Reynolds?!”
He’s backed against my bedroom door, red coveralls dirty and torn open at the chest, revealing a hint of skin. Blood drips down his face from a gash over his left eye.
“You’re the girl who… The one who checked me in.”
I nod, suddenly aware I’m clad in only a nightgown. I fold my arms over my chest. “Devica. And what are you doing in my room? You can’t be here.” I stride toward him, my arm outstretched so I can push him into the hall.
“Please don’t make me go back.” He flattens himself against the door. “Do you know what they do to us there?”
“I have an idea.” I shrug. “But that’s where murderers belong. If we surrounded you with rainbows and puppies, that’d sort of defeat the purpose of Hell.”
The heavy beat of boots on the ground echo from the hall, and both our heads snap in their direction.
He wipes at the pool of blood beside his mouth. “I swear I woke up and Gabe was already dead. I picked up the gun because I was confused, but I didn’t kill him. There must be something you can do to help me.”
I study the door, my eyes trailing along the dark ridges that run through the cherrywood. I’ve never encountered a shadeling so insistent about their innocence. Most of them deny their guilt at first, but they soon realize it’s an exercise in futility. Nathan Reynolds hasn’t wavered from his story.
Biting the inside of my cheek, I silently curse myself for what I’m about to do.
“If I look for myself and see your crime, will you leave me alone?”
“What?” He peers up at me. “You can do that?”
“Yes. Well, maybe. I’m still learning, but it’s worth a shot.” I poke him in the chest, hard with muscle against my finger.
Nathan Reynolds works—worked—out.
Right, because that’s what I should be focusing on in this moment.
His face relaxes. “What happens when you see I’m innocent? Can I go home?”
“That won’t happen. Your kind are never innocent. Come here.” I reach out, but he flinches away, and my jaw tenses. “Do you want me to do this or not?”
“Yes,” he says, inching forward. “Sorry.”
“You’re really big on the apologies,” I mutter. “Now, hold still. I need to touch you to do this properly.”
“Okay.” He takes a deep breath, unclenches his body, and meets my gaze. “I trust you.”
His words bewilder me, but I keep my face blank. No one’s trusted me in a long time, least of all a shadeling. My interactions with them tend to end with Nefas dragging them away screaming.
I place a hand on his cheek, and this time, he doesn’t shy away. His flesh is damp with blood, but beneath the grime, his skin’s been kissed to a light bronze by the California sun. He’s soft under my calloused fingers, rough from all the sword work Mr. Bellum shoves on me.
Really not the time, Dev.
Clearing my throat, I steady my hand against his skin. “Okay, this won’t hurt. Or maybe it will. I honestly have no idea what you’ll feel.”
He pulls back, banging his head against the door with a grunt. “Is this safe? What if you wipe out my memories or something?”
I shrug. “Then you won’t remember why you’re down here in the first place and you’ll leave me alone. Either way, it’s a win-win.”
He licks his cracked lips. “For you, maybe.”
“Exactly.” I grab his temples and straighten his head. “Now, don’t move.”
We lock eyes as I try to peer into him. I wade beyond the teal hues of his irises and follow them deeper.
“Your eyes,” Nathan Reynolds blurts, slicing into my concentration.
“What about them?” I ask through gritted teeth.
“They’re purple. Back when we met, I thought they were a dark blue. But in this light, they’re violet.”
His gaze bores into mine, and my stomach backflips. It’s like he can see my soul clearer than I see his.
Except I don’t have a soul. And it doesn’t matter what he sees in me, since he’ll be out of my life soon.
I break eye contact and focus on my bare feet. “Your point is?”
“I’ve never seen anything like them.” He swallows. “They’re beautiful.”
Heat creeps up my neck and into my cheeks. My mouth dries out, and I can’t find a reply.
I clear my throat again before placing my fingers back on the side of his face to steady him, then take another breath and press into his mind.
The jolt through my body is as strong as lightning.
I’d fall backward if I wasn’t gripping his skull so tightly.
The room around me spins away, and everything turns white.
I’m connected to his soul instantly. It’s tethered to me like a rope, pulling me farther into his subconscious. I follow the cord, tugging myself forward, trying to make out anything in the shadows. But there’s nothing there.
Instead of the answers Mr. Bellum promised, all I find is an empty space before I’m flung from his mind.
I’m back in my room, surrounded by the familiar blue walls and gold-trimmed furniture.
Well, that’s never happened before.
Nathan Reynolds stares at me, concern clouding his features. “Anything?”
“I’m not sure.” I speak slowly, my body trembling with energy. “I went into your mind as far as I could, and it was empty.”
“That’s insulting,” he says. “I may not be the most cream-filled Oreo in the pack, but there has to be something in my head.”
“That’s not what I meant.” I side-eye him. “I was looking at your soul, not your brain. Although I’m not convinced the latter isn’t broken, too. Anyone with sense wouldn’t break out of their lot in Hell.”
He chuckles, then winces and grabs his ribs. “What does it mean? The empty soul thing.”
Pacing my room, I nibble at the polish on the tip of my thumb. “I have no clue. My teacher told me if I see nothing, that person hasn’t committed a sin big enough for them to be sent here. But I’m new at this. I may not be at full power yet.”
He sinks against the door. “Even if you’re learning, the fact you can’t see anything proves I’m innocent, right?”
I stop pacing and stare at him in the reflection of my bedroom mirror. How he can still be so good-looking under all that blood and bruising confuses me as much as his blank-slate soul. “It’s not that simple.”
“Why not? You said it yourself, you should be able to see something. Nothing means I didn’t do it.”
“Look.” I cross my room and stand in front of him, focusing over his shoulder on the woodgrain pattern of my door. “Even if I had doubts about you being here, I don’t get a say. My father makes the final judgment. I can’t overrule him.”
“Can’t you tell him what you saw?” He spreads his arms. “Or what you didn’t see, in this case?”
I let out a low laugh. “Sure. I’ll walk up to Father and say, ‘Hey, Dad, I know you’ve been running this place for millennia, but I think you might be wrong about this human who broke into my room tonight.’ He’ll love that.”
“Wait.” His face pales beneath the grime. “Your father runs this place? That means he’s… Which makes you…”
I meet his gaze. The trust that was once there has been replaced by fear, and my heart plummets to my feet.
I shouldn’t care what this human thinks of me. He’s a sinner—destined to spend eternity rotting with the others.
Except that, for one moment, he wasn’t afraid of me, and he didn’t run away like everyone else in my life. All it took was learning who I really am to make him react the same way as the rest of them.
I open my mouth to reply.
That’s when someone bangs on my door.