Chapter 46
XLVI.
He spins me so that we’re face-to-face, and there’s no mistaking him. The way his eyes glow as they gaze down at me, the thud of his heart against mine. That lock of hair that never stays behind his ear.
My entire body reacts to the sight of him. My muscles tingle, and the blood rushes to my face. My heart speeds as my eyes meet his, and I smile. His grin in return warms me more than the sun on a blistering afternoon.
I don’t know why he’s here, but I don’t even care.
He smiles. “Hey, Dev.”
My name is barely out of his mouth before my lips cut him off.
I wrap my arms around him and pull him as close as I can, savoring his mouth on mine.
His kiss is the same, but different. His lips remain familiar, yet his mouth tastes sweeter, his heart strong against my chest, his breath catching for the seconds we part.
I gasp.
This isn’t the afterlife Nate I’ve known. He’s alive again here on Earth.
I have so many questions, but then Nate parts my lips with his tongue and I forget everything but the taste of him.
The pier falls away, the ocean breeze overtaken by his hands tangled in my hair, the scent of fish restaurants and churro carts lost amongst his sun-kissed musk, the laughter of children replaced by his happy sighs into my mouth.
“But how?” I ask when we finally break apart, breathless. I trace his face with my fingertip, making sure he’s real. “Not that I’m not glad you’re back, but how did you get here?”
“It’s the damnedest thing. Pun intended.
” He pulls me closer, and I lean my head on his chest, the steady beat of his heart competing against the slapping of the waves.
“One minute, I was in your mom’s house, and the next, I was back in Lot Thirteen.
That friend of yours, Ferret, was in front of me, insisting you never loved me, while pummeling me with his fists and whatever else he could get his hands on. ”
My stomach drops, and my veins heat. I curl my fingers into fists against the fire that begs to break free. If I ever see Ferus again, I’m going to send a ball of flame through whatever he has in place of a heart. “Ferus is not my friend.”
“I know. He tried to give me some BS story about how the two of you are supposed to be married, but even I know the guy’s full of hot air.”
I tighten my grip around him. “I’d never marry someone so awful. I’m sorry.”
Nate kisses the top of my head. “Not your fault. Anyway, one minute Flatulence was stabbing me with a pitchfork, and the next, I was in a hospital bed attached to a bunch of machines.”
“What?” I lean back and look up at him, eyebrows raised.
“Yeah, it was weird. And the nurses were freaking out and asking me what I’d done with Alexander. I told them the only Alexander I knew was my foster brother, and I haven’t seen him in, like, a year. I left out the bit that it’s because I was off taking a nice, toasty vacation in Hell.
“While they were distracted, I grabbed the charts beside my bed and bolted. I didn’t even change out of the gown.
You get some weird looks in the back of the West Hollywood bus with your butt hanging out, but people also leave you alone.
I headed right for your mom’s place. All I could think of was seeing you again. ”
I release him and lean against the rail, gazing back out at the water. “I suppose she told you we fought.” I blink as tears fill my eyes and prick my throat. “I hurt her and scared her so much she told me to leave. Not that I blame her.”
“She said you had a fight, yes.” He wraps an arm around my waist. “But she seemed more scared for you than of you. She was frantic because you took the car. She was worried you’d get into an accident or, worse, leave before she could talk to you.”
I swallow and scrape my fingernail over the wooden railing.
I’d jumped in her car so fast that it hadn’t occurred to me she’d be concerned.
After all, when I was literally running for my life in Hell, it was my other parent doing the chasing.
And it wasn’t out of worry for me, but rather fear I wouldn’t be around to help him.
“Luckily, her car has anti-theft GPS,” Nate continues. “So we tracked you down on her phone and hopped in an Uber to come find you—after she loaned me some clothes, of course. Your poor mother has seen enough of my ass to last both of our lifetimes.”
I nudge him with my elbow. “I wondered about the pink sweatpants and tight T-shirt.”
“Hey now, I really pull this off.” He grins. “Besides, you should talk. I thought finding you here would be impossible, but all I had to look for was the girl all in black in the middle of a heat wave.”
“I left in kind of a hurry.” I peel the bodice of my dress from my damp skin and grimace. “And I didn’t plan to end up at the beach. Something called me here.”
“I warned you the ocean will do that.”
“You weren’t wrong.” The ring’s still in my palm, and I squeeze it, the blue blood already dried on my skin. “Was Mom really not mad at me?”
“You can talk to her yourself. She’s in the parking lot waiting for you. She didn’t want to get in the way of our reunion.”
“Reunion.” I spin against the rail to face him and smile. “I love the sound of that.”
“Me, too.” He kisses me again, softer this time. “I can’t believe I made it back here. Again. Your mom thinks I somehow earned my way back to life, but she said she’s never seen it happen and wasn’t sure how I did it.”
I chew on my lower lip. “I think I know how, but you aren’t going to like it.”
He stares over my head, his gaze on the boat I’d studied earlier.
“Alex died in the hospital and took my place in Lot Thirteen. I kinda figured it out myself on my super-awkward bus ride. I sort of remember you telling me he killed Gabe and that you saved him from a fire before I died—you know, the second time.”
“You heard that?” My eyes widen. “I wasn’t sure you could hear me.”
“I did.” He kisses my forehead. “And you were right. I would never have wanted you to take Alex’s life so I could have mine. The girl I fell in love with could never kill someone, even when they deserve it.”
My head snaps up, my heart thudding under my rib cage.
I’m sorry. What?
“Fell in love with?”
“Absolutely.” He curls me into his chest and whispers into my ear. “And you love me, too. It was one of the last things I heard before finding myself in front of Fetus.”
I pull away from him and narrow my eyes. “You heard no such thing. You were delirious.”
“Mmmhmmm.” He smirks. “You keep telling yourself that. And I’ll keep reminding myself of how you said falling for me is like flying.”
My cheeks burn, and I bury my face in his chest. “I can’t believe you heard that.”
“I did. It was the nicest thing anyone’s said about me.
” He wraps his arms around me and rests his chin on the top of my head.
“Anyway, I pieced it all together as I read over Alex’s charts on the bus.
He inhaled a lot of smoke and had some pretty badly broken bones.
They had him in a medically induced coma but weren’t optimistic.
I guess he finally succumbed to his injuries. ”
I lean back and gaze up at him. “And then the universe corrected itself. You swapped places. He’s probably in Lot Thirteen as we speak, with a very confused Ferus in front of him.”
“Good luck to Fishsticks. Alex is a handful.” Sadness creeps over his features. “Though I can’t help but feel bad. He was messed up, but he was still family. And I’m only here because he’s not.”
“I saw his soul, and it was revolting, Nate.” I lay my head on his shoulder.
“He would’ve done worse things if he’d stayed on that path.
The world is definitely a little brighter without him in it.
And Hell a little darker. If that’s possible.
” I open my palm and stare down at the ring glittering against my skin.
I have no need for this anymore. With Nate and my mom here, I never have to go back. I’ll miss Atty, but Father will move on without me. And Ferus will take as much of my place as he’s allowed.
“Why were you throwing that away?” Nate asks. “Isn’t it your ticket home?”
I turn away and look out over the ocean. “I figured if I still have it, there’s always a chance I’ll go back. That I’ll forever have a piece of Father calling to me, urging me to take his throne—you know, assuming he doesn’t kill me on sight.”
Nate lays his palm over mine. “First of all, no one can make you do anything you don’t want to do.
Have you met you? Devica, you’re the strongest-willed person I know.
You broke me out of Hell. Twice—even if the second time was indirectly.
If you decide you want to take over for your father, I have no doubt it’ll be because you’re ready, not because you’re wearing this ring.
And second, I think you still need to have the choice. You may want to go home someday.”
“No.” I shake my head. “I don’t want to be like him. Ever.”
“Who said wearing this makes you anything like him?” He runs a finger along my cheek. “You’re not a piece of jewelry, Devica. What you are is within you, in your heart.”
I turn my head and scrutinize him. “Were you talking to my mother? She said the same thing when I tried to cut off my wings.”
“You what? Oh, Dev.” He folds me into his arms. “You aren’t your wings. You aren’t that ruby. You’re flesh and bone and sparkling blood. You’re brave and strong, beautiful and kind—and surprisingly funny, even when you don’t try to be. And you have impeccable taste in men.”
I chuckle softly. “You’re going to make me question that last bit forever, aren’t you?”
“You can count on it.”
I attempt to smile, but it barely makes it to my lips. I hurt Nate. I hurt my mother. That darkness still lingers inside, waiting to burst out at the moment I least expect it.
“I’m scared.” I tilt my head up to meet his eyes. “And confused. I don’t know where I fit in anymore.”
“It’s okay to be scared. And I promise you, most people on Earth never know where they fit in, either. We spend our lives trying to figure it out.”
“Thanks.” I slide the ring back on my finger, its weight settling into me like a second skin. “I’m happy you’re back. I don’t know how you always make me feel better, but you do. Having you here again barely feels real.” I lean back and survey him. “You are real, right?”
“We should probably do one last check to make sure. For science.” He winks, then lowers his head and kisses me, slowly, then with more urgency.
The world falls away again as it’s just our bodies on the dock, his lips and tongue mingling with mine.
I wrap my arms around him, curling my fingers through the hair at the base of his neck and pressing my hips into his.
When we pull away, he brushes his fingertips over my cheek, his eyes a brighter blue than usual. “Thoughts?”
“Definitely real.” I grin. “And you’re not one of those zombie things? No cravings for brains?”
“Not yet.” He chuckles. “And no clawing my way out of a grave, thank God. I asked your mom if she thinks my body is still buried somewhere, and she said she can’t be sure, but she doesn’t think so. I suppose we could dig it up and find out, but I’d rather let some things remain a mystery.”
He shudders, and I shiver against him. “Agreed.”
Mom’s leaning against her crooked car when we get to the parking lot.
My stomach coils as the cut on her face comes into view.
She’s cleaned it up but left it unbandaged.
It’s not deep, and I heave an internal sigh of relief that it doesn’t look like it will scar, but my insides still tumble knowing that I put it there in the first place.
Nate pats my lower back and steps to the other side of the car as I reach my mom.
I lower my head and focus on the tire I’d left crossing the yellow line. “Hey.”
Mom throws her arms around me and squeezes. “Oh, thank God, Devica. When I saw you’d taken the car, I was so worried.”
I stiffen in surprise, then lean into the hug. “I’m sorry, Mom. About everything.”
She places her hands on my shoulders and looks into my eyes.
“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those horrible things to you.
I didn’t mean any of them. I was angry, and you scared me—not because of where you come from or who your father is—but because you weren’t yourself.
You hated yourself so much in that moment, and as your mom, I couldn’t bear seeing you in pain like that.
I did the exact opposite of what I should’ve done.
I pushed you away instead of holding you close. Please forgive me.”
“But”—I touch her cheek beneath the cut—“I did this. And I broke your mirror.”
She takes my hand and presses it to her chest. “I can get another mirror. But what I can’t get is another you.”
I scrunch my face. “That’s so cheesy.”
Mom glances at Nate, and he shrugs.
“She’s like that with me, too,” he says. “Dev has a problem with cheese, and I’m like the king of gorgonzola. You get used to the disgusted look.”
Mom laughs and ruffles my hair. “I suppose I will. Let’s go home. I’m driving this time, though.” She moves to the driver’s side door and holds out her hand. I toss her the keys. “When we get there, we’re going to have a serious talk about not stealing my car and driving without a license.”
I swallow and stare at the ground. “That’s fair.”
Nate tugs at his shirt. “And while I’m definitely pulling this off, can we stop on the way and get some clothes in my size?”
Mom nods, and I push onto my tiptoes and plant a kiss on Nate’s lips. “Then what? What does our life look like now?”
“We take it one day at a time. Figure out how we both mesh with this version of Earth.” He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into him, his heart—his actual, alive heart—thudding against my ears. “But then, Devica, then we live happily ever after.”
My own arms snake around his neck, and a spark shoots through my finger. I glance over his shoulder at my ring and see the ruby darkening like dried blood.
It’s never done that before.
My stomach clenches, but then Nate tugs me closer, and I drop my hand.
It was probably a trick of the light.
Forcing a smile, I gaze up at him and meet his eyes. “Yes. Happily ever after it is.”