35. Chapter 34
35
I slowly open my eyes. Confusion is the first emotion to break through my sleeping mind. Then my heart rate picks up, my blood starts to boil. Oh, this too familiar feeling that I had assumed wasn’t coming back.
I sat up in bed so quickly that it made me lightheaded. One glance to my nightstand, and the shaking photo frame made me not care.
“Oh, no you don’t!” I yell, sure I’m the only one that can hear me.
Before I know it, I’m running out my door. I don’t even throw my slippers on, and all I’m wearing is an oversized shirt and my underwear.
I aggressively bang on her door, seven times before it opens before me.
“You are not pulling this again. You can’t just—“ I’m stopped short by the realization that she’s laughing at me. Deep, uncontrollable laughter that has her hunched over with one hand on her knee and the other in a fist in front of her open mouth. “What the fuck?” I ask, but some of my anger has turned into astonishment, causing the words to sound less hostile.
She can’t stop laughing long enough to answer me. Between shaking her head, and fanning her face, she’s really going through it with this laugh.
And I let go of an even bigger piece of that anger because… her laugh is the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard, and it’s so rare. Maybe she chuckles at my sarcasm here and there, or I receive a titter in return for my bad jokes. I’m smiling before I can stop myself, aware that I should stop myself.
Her music is still going, and my body still aches to be in my bed asleep right now.
“You evil woman, why are you laughing right now?”
She fans her face, an attempt to dry the tears that her laughter caused.
“It’s just like old times,” she says in a high pitched, amused voice. Then she surprises me by invading my space and wrapping her arms around me. I don’t waste a single second returning the hug, and enjoying the way she feels in my arms. “I called you, but your phone must have been on silent. This was the only other way I could think to get you over here.”
I slightly shake my head, and I know she feels it while my face is buried in her neck.
“I am not a fan of your methods.” I place a kiss to her smooth skin. “But I’m here. What’s up?”
She pulls out of our embrace to take my hand and pull me inside. She walks backwards, her gaze locked on mine while she goes, a smile still pulling at her lips. She outstretches a hand to hit the power button on the speaker that has been used to torture me way too many times.
“I just didn’t want to sleep alone.”
Something about that sentence, that small piece of vulnerability that I didn’t have to fight tooth and nail for… it’s everything to me. I pull her closer again, and press my mouth to hers sweetly.
I really hope I don’t ever have to say goodbye to moments like these again. I want all of them, always.
“Let’s get to sleep then.”
We walk hand in hand to her bedroom, and then I help her out of her pants until we both have the same amount of clothes on. She’s still smiling at me, like my being here is the best thing to happen to her.
I’ve forgotten all about the rage I felt when I was first woken up. If she hadn’t done that, I’d still be oblivious and unaware of just how cute she is tonight. It would’ve been a tragedy for me to miss.
We climb into her bed, and our arms go right back to being around each other.
“You look way too happy to be my girlfriend. What did you do with her?”
“You make me happy, you idiot. Don’t ruin it.”
“Is that what it is? Not that you take pleasure from ruining my sleep schedule? Just like old times?”
She laughs breathily, and my arms tighten around her.
“I love you so much,” I whisper.
“I thought I was an evil woman,” she teases.
“Both of those things can be true at the same time.”
Her head tilts up, and she captures my lips in a kiss that’s filled with heat, and emotion. All of the things she put off telling me for so long. Every word I pried from her, and every little thing about herself that she shared with me willingly. The unfiltered joy that we got here, after how brutal and complicated our path has been.
“I love you so much, sunshine.”
"I love you, too," I say, already dozing off.
Until a thought occurs to me that I should have brought up before now.
"Wait, what is with the music? You never told me?"
"Oh… long story. Not worth telling."
I sit up, facing her with my most determined look.
"We've got all the time in the world. Tell me why you tortured me for so long."
She lean in to kiss my cheek, surprising me.
"You sure you want to know?" Kara asks.
"Yes, I'm sure!"
She chuckles.
"I used to have to block out the sound of my mother's… nighttime activities. By the time I moved out, I was so used to doing it that I couldn't sleep without it. It made anxious that I'd something I didn't want to hear whenever it was silent."
I sit with that for a minute, filled with a combination of horror and sadness. I couldn't begin to imagine how bad things must have been for her to blast the music at her preferred volume.
I don't have the heart to ask what age that started.
"That's awful," I say, at a loss for any more than that.
She pulls me in again, squeezing.
"Not as awful as me keeping you and Dahlia up at night. Sorry, again, by the way."
"I actually don't think you apologized before."
"Better late than never," she mumbles into my shoulder.
When I end up with a longer weekend that normal, it's never really a weekend. I always end up on the phone with an employee, or texting an employee, or running to the store for an employee.
I wasn't having it this weekend. Fate allowed me three days without being on the schedule, and I wanted to really experience those three days without an inconvenience popping up on that phone screen. Dahlia and I stayed in most of the time anyway, only going on a brief drive to get some ice cream and coming back. We played games, read books, watched some of her favorite movies. It was perfection.
The cherry on top was propping my front door open, and sitting outside with Kara every night. We didn't do anything but talk, but it was all I needed. It was comfortable, and silly, and at times a little deep. We talked about life as only children, and what kind of vacations our families used to go on, and what snacks we used to eat so much of that we can't stand them anymore.
Her answer was popcorn, to my dismay.
I love everything about, even the experience . It's so convenient to throw the bag in the microwave for a couple minutes, plop it into a bowl and cover in salt. Then the smell of it when you leave the room and come back? It really works for me.
Apparently it makes her nauseous now, after too many late night cravings as a teenager. It's heartbreaking.
The weekend with two of my favorite humans revived me in a way I didn't even know I needed.
I wake up feeling like myself again, refreshed, and ready for anything. I almost question if I even need to make a fun, fruity tea this morning, but decide of course I should. I might not need the help, but it sure isn't going to hurt anything.
When I pick up my phone to turn off my alarm, it almost feels wrong. I wish I didn't need to rely on it for anything day to day so I could go even more days without it. I sigh as I press a button on the screen and plop it back down next to me.
Then I worry I hit the wrong button and lift it to my face again.
So many notifications stare back at me. More than I think I've ever had on my phone at one time.
Definitely more than I've ever had from Autumn and Miles at one time.
Oh crap.
"He's amazing. He's perfect. I love him," I coo.
Riley's little baby hand is grabbing onto my shirt so tight that I find myself impressed with his strength.
Autumn and Miles are looking down at him too, completely enraptured. I'd feel suffocated by their inability to stand more than a foot away from me if I didn't entirely understand. I'm holding their whole world in my hands, it's hard to take a step back.
"I'm really sorry again, you guys. I really should have checked my phone."
It's at least my twentieth time saying those words, but the first in person. I won't forgive myself for not knowing my new little bestie was born three days before I found out.
Three. Entire. Days.
As much as my phone can drive me nuts, I'm never going more than a couple minutes without checking it ever again.
They share a look that I can't decipher before responding.
"No, it's fine," Autumn says softly. "Things happen."
Miles nods in agreement with her, but he stays silent.
I know they want to say more. I know I disappointed them, at the very least. Hell, I want to say more, but I refrain for the sake of not trying to drive them absolutely mad. They'll have plenty of that coming up.
"Wook at this wittle beanie," I say, directed back at their son. "How do they even make them so small?"
We fawn over all the little pieces, Autumn even steps away for a second to grab a pack of his socks. Baby socks , those are really something else. Just the sight of them makes me emotional, thinking back on the days when my girl had clothes so small I couldn't handle it.
It feels like I merely had time to blink, and now I can't handle how big they are.