Not Up for Debate

2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

“ Y ou sure that’s just coffee in there?” Jordyn whispers while slipping into the seat next to me.

I don’t actually see her, since I’m currently face down on the bumpy not-functional-but-super-trendy table, but I’d know my best friend’s mock condescending mom-talk anywhere.

“Because if it is just coffee, that’s a damn shame, and I’m sure Daniel could remedy that for you real quick,” she says with a snap, probably trying to get the attention of our favorite shop owner/server/best friend.

Taking a long, slow deep breath in, I manage out a muffled, “Thanks, but no thanks,” on the exhale, breath fogging the table.

I turn my head to the side, uncomfortably squishing my ear, just in time to see Daniel give a yikes face and a little half-shrug to Jordyn before he hastily retreats from our table.

“Woah, there, sunshine. Your bubbly energy is scaring Daniel away. What’s wrong, babe?” she says, scooting her chair closer to mine. “Did Rex keep you up all night again with his captivating football talk? Or were you two doing much more captivating things?” she teases, raising her eyebrows up and down.

This earns an even bigger muffled groan from me as I slowly roll my head back up onto my shoulders.

“First, it’s not even real football talk, J. It’s fantasy football. It’s fake. Fake football. Second, Rex is a complete asshat, and we broke up this morning. Third, my life is in absolute shambles, and I’m really confused because things at work are both very good and very bad at the same time and I don’t know what to do,” I say with an exasperated pout and put my head back down on the table.

She reaches over and starts rubbing lazy circles up and down my back.

Jordyn’s been my best friend for basically forever. We met when we were five years old, and her family moved to Fort Collins from Atlanta.

On the first day of kindergarten, we both showed up wearing the exact same light purple dress with little white polka dots. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but to five-year-old little girls, this was as close to divine intervention as it could ever get.

Her rich brown skin and perfect black curls were a stark contrast to my pale skin and long blonde hair, but again, to five-year old-girls, none of that mattered. When her chocolate-colored eyes locked with my big blue ones, we knew we were best friends right then and there.

Neither of us said a word as we linked arms and made our way over to circle time. We silently took our seats next to each other and have been by each other’s sides ever since. Whether it’s making one another laugh until we cry or cry until we laugh, we know we’ll be together forever.

“Jordyn, I haven’t felt this awful in a long time,” I say, turning my head, my cheek tragically squishing into the table. “I think I’m at one of those crossroads that everyone tells people in their thirties about all the time.” I frown. “I feel like I have two choices. One, I can pretend like nothing happened and continue to work for the king of the men-are-awesome-women-suck club. Or two, I could do the complete opposite and quit said high-paying job I’ve worked my entire life for and go be a traveling free spirit who may or may not sleep in the nude.” As I say this, I realize I should sit up like a normal person, because a string of drool begins to pool under my cheek.

Not even missing a beat, Jordyn grabs some napkins and cleans up my embarrassing puddle, then reaches over and dabs my chin.

If it was anybody else, I might be slightly humiliated, but honestly, she saw a lot worse during our college days.

She’s the best. She’ll help me make the right decision. She always knows what to do. She’s the smartest and most knowledgeable best frie—

“Well, babe, I don’t know what to tell you.”

At this abrupt change of events, my poor head finds its way back onto the uncomfortable table. I’ll add this to the list of things I wasn’t expecting today. I let out another groan. “Jordyn, you weren’t supposed to say that. You’re supposed to say something like, ‘Okay, my most princess-like-amazing-charismatic-best-friend-in-the-whole-entire-world, here is what you should do…’ then you would sit here and tell me what I should do so I don’t have to make any decisions for myself.” Of course, I say all of this directly into the table, so all that Jordyn hears are more muffled grumbles.

She puts her hands on either side of my head and gently lifts up so that we are eye to eye.

“Is that too much to ask?” I say, defeated.

My head almost slips out of her hands when the smell of warm chocolate fills my nose. Daniel deposits the most beautiful brownie I’ve ever seen in between my face and the table.

“Just so we’re clear, I don’t usually condone the intake of carbs before noon, but you look like this might be the only thing keeping you from banging your head back into my very expensive table,” Daniel says with a pretend frown.

“Your table sucks, but thank you for the brownie,” I say through a mouthful of gooey gold.

Daniel pretends to scratch his nose while flipping me the bird, then walks away with a smug little smile on his face. I have good friends.

“Jane, forget about Rex. He’s a dick and totally sucks,” Jordyn says, wiping a drip of coffee off the side of her mug. “But, you’re going to have to actually give me some insight as to what the hell is going on with your job, because right now I’m just wondering whose ass I'm going to need to kick first. Is it that one awful HR lady who forgot your birthday last year? Is it Joe? Oooo is it that Corbin guy?” Jordyn pauses and takes a sip of her coffee, waiting for me to answer. “ I’m at a loss here, babe, so you have to fill me in before I start making assumptions. You and I both know where that has landed us before,” she says, looking at me over the rim of her coffee cup.

“First off, his name is Colin not Corbin, and second, yes kick his ass because he was made partner this morning.”

Jordyn's eyes grow wide as she registers what I just said. “Schwartz, Adler, and…CLARK? That's the direction they decided to take the firm? With that vanilla bean of a man? All jokes aside, Jane, I really do think they need a good ass kicking.”

I give a half-smile at her obvious attempt to make me laugh.

“I honestly don’t know what they were thinking. I mean, from what you’ve told me about Colin, he seems to be a fine attorney, but gosh, he’s nowhere near your level.” She puts her arm around my shoulder and gives me a gentle squeeze. “I’m so sorry, babe. Penis power sucks. It wins. It always wins.”

From his spot at the espresso machine, Daniel gives us a thumbs up and grins.

“I swear, that man hears the word penis, and it’s like the bat signal goes off,” Jordyn adds. “He doesn’t even know what we’re talking about.”

A laugh bubbles up from deep inside of me, and I feel my gloomy mood start to lighten. “Jordyn, being made a partner doesn’t mean your name gets added to the firm. That’s totally a misconception…Also, please tell me how you remembered Colin’s last name but not his first?”

She shrugs and takes a too-big bite of my brownie. After a beat, she says, “So, what are you going to do?”

“Well…that brings me to the next part of my morning.”

“Please, no more bad news,” Jordyn says, then quickly adds, “Wait, before you say anything, I’m going to backtrack a bit and say that you and Rex breaking up is going into my good news pile. So, at this point, we are one for one. Just had to get that out there. Continue please.”

I roll my eyes. “Our firm just acquired a huge client. Like a very rich, very famous client.

“Who?” she asks quickly. “Tell me. Who is it? Tell me now, Jane.”

I let her squirm in her seat, while I slowly chew my brownie, and then follow it with a comically long sip of my coffee.

I put down my mug and look her in the eyes. “Howard Dumont.”

“SHUT UP!” she yells and slaps both hands down on the table.

Daniel rushes our way, winding through other tables. “Seriously, you two, I don’t know what you have against my tables, but if you don’t calm down with the abuses, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Or at least go sit outside, because those tables are from Ikea.”

We both ignore him and continue with our conversation.

“Also, Joe made me head of the account.” A smile grows on my face.

“WHAT?! Jane! The Howard Dumont is your client now? That’s amazing! Seriously, who cares about stupid ol’ partner? This is HUGE! I’m so freaking happy for you!”

Seeing the bright smile on my friend's face does something to me. Getting a client like Mr. Dumont is…it’s incredible. To be representing a multi-billionaire at this point in my career is an opportunity that most attorneys can only ever dream of.

This might just be my chance. My chance to put my abilities to good use and show them that being organized and analytical is what makes me so great at my job. This opportunity is just a stepping-stone on my journey to more high-paying clients, more wins in court, and then eventually becoming a partner. Plenty of firms have multiple partners, so I’m sure once I prove myself, Joe will have to promote me.

This is good. This is actually really good. My smile grows wider.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you the best part.” I playfully slap Jordyn’s arm. “In a few weeks, I get to fly to Hawaii for ten days. Joe told me that Mr. Dumont said, and I quote, ‘I would really like to meet my new attorney and treat them to all the beauties and luxuries that my magnificent resort offers.’”

Jordyn fans herself with her hand, pretending to swoon.

“I’m not even kidding, J. Since he’s such a new client, there isn’t too much to do, yet. It’s literally just going to be a few introductory meetings and him signing a bunch of papers. So basically, that means I just get to spend ten days in paradise with my new famous client and work on my tan.” I kick back my chair and bring my hands up behind my head.

“You’ve done it, Jane. Congratulations. You’ve made it.” Jordyn grabs my hand and gives it a shake.

I look her in the eyes, as I try to let her words sink in. Have I done it though ? Have I really “made it?” I’ve worked so hard for so long, I honestly thought I would feel different when I got here. I thought that when I finally accomplished my career goals, I would feel this overwhelming sense of accomplishment, but so far, I just have the same nagging thoughts in the back of my mind, questioning if I’m where I want to be. I take a deep breath, trying to shove my doubts aside.

Jordyn gets out her notebook and clicks her pen. “I’m so glad we have some time to plan this! We can go get your hair done, with more highlights this time. You'll need to get a new bikini or two. You’re gonna need to get waxed.”

“WAXED? No way. Jordyn, you know I don’t mind some good trimming, primping, and prepping, but I have some hard lines that I will never cross.”

“Well, I do have a few weeks to convince you that some hard lines we draw, we can erase just as easily.” She winks then continues. “Listen to me, you’re in your thirties now. You just went through a breakup, and to top it all off, you just got one of the highest profile clients your firm has ever had. Take these ten days in paradise to find yourself. Discover who this new Jane is, and what she wants.”

She sets her notebook aside and gently grabs my hand in hers. “In between the work you’ll have to do, please rest. Eat delicious tropical food, drink the water right out of a coconut, eat some big juicy pineapples. The world is your oyster, babe.” Her smile gets bigger. “Also, for the love of God, please have some mouthwatering rebound sex with a beautiful Hawaiian hunk who you will never see again. Don’t even think about stupid Rex or any of the past tools you’ve dated, for that matter, and I promise you will come back feeling refreshed and like a totally new woman.”

At her words, I feel my heart start to beat with excitement.

“I mean it, Jane, enjoy yourself. You deserve it. Frankly, you deserve a lot more, but this will have to do for now.”

“Okay, J. You’ve sold me.” I flash a genuine smile.

Maybe this is just what I need.

There’s a slight bounce in my step as I walk the two blocks back to my office. The mid-morning sun reflects off the windows of the downtown Denver office buildings, and the late January snow sparkles atop the parked cars lining the streets. It’s magical.

I close my eyes for a minute and feel the cool air on my face.

What a crazy morning. I had absolutely no idea that when I woke up today things would unfold the way that they did. I broke up with Rex, I got an amazing high-profile client, I didn’t get promoted.

Partner. I feel my stomach drop. I didn’t get promoted to partner. Why didn’t I, again? Sure, Colin is a good attorney, a great attorney actually, but on paper, the job should have been mine.

I pause and take a deep breath of cold winter air. I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t like feeling like I deserved something more than someone else. It feels really icky.

Even though the position should have been mine, that doesn’t mean I automatically have to hate the guy who got it. I mean, it’s true that he is pretty vanilla , as Jordyn would say, but he genuinely is a really good guy.

He’s been a good friend to me the entire time we’ve worked together, and I do respect the hell out of him. I just hate that for some reason, Mr. Schwartz doesn’t see what I bring to the table. I hate that I was overlooked. I’ve been working my ass off nonstop for him for years, and it’s starting to seem like it’s never going to be enough.

I know that having Howard Dumont as a client is amazing, but it still feels like a blow to my gut knowing I wasn’t the first choice. Knowing that I only got it because I was passed over for a promotion. I only got it because Colin was promoted.

Inside I feel that internal struggle of feeling both grateful for the new opportunity but also super disappointed with how I got it.

The longer I walk, the longer I have to ruminate over the events that led me to where I am.

I go back and forth from feeling grateful, to confused, then circle back to grateful again.

Then the realization hits me, does it really even matter how I got the account? Or does it only matter how well I handle it and prove myself?

When I was talking with Jordyn, I decided I would give this my all. Regardless of how I got here, I’m going to give it everything I have. I will show Joe he shouldn’t have looked me over. I have to.

I step into the elevator at my office building and take a deep breath. I can do this. I’m here for a reason. I earned this. I will prove to everyone I’m the woman for the job, and that I am not one to second-guess. I put on my brightest smile as the elevator door opens at my floor.

I make my way through the various desks and find myself at Colin’s office door. I knock lightly, secretly hoping I’ve missed him, but then I hear him say, “It’s open.”

Stepping into his office, I see a very stressed Colin looking up at me from the massive piles of papers on his desk.

“Oh, Jane! Hi! Sorry, I thought you were my new assistant, Maddie. She went out quite a while ago to get me some lunch, and she hasn’t made her way back yet. What can I do for you?”

I stand here thinking for a moment.

Did I even look at him in the meeting this morning ?

Was he already this stressed, or are his new responsibilities getting to him?

I glance down and see the picture of his cute little family on his desk and the reality of how busy he is about to become hits me.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Not really. I just…I went to the cafe down the street, and I thought I’d bring you back a brownie to say congratulations. Now to be clear, I’m a bit biased because the owner is one of my very best friends, and also because brownies just so happen to be my all-time favorite food, but I can say with full conviction that the brownie in this container is the best brownie you will ever eat in your entire life.”

Colin takes the small container from my outstretched hands, and I see in his eyes just how exhausted he is.

“Thank you, Jane. This means a lot to me. More than you know, actually.” He sets the container on his desk and stares at it. “When Joe and Paul called me into the office this morning, I had no clue that they were going to promote me to partner. When they told me the news, you were the first person I thought of. You and I both know that you deserve this position over me, Jane.” He lifts his eyes, and the exhaustion is now mixed with doubt. “I was sure you’d be taking the rest of the day off to plot some revenge plan to take me down, not buying me a celebratory dessert.” He attempts a small smile.

I laugh. “If I’m being honest, you’re lucky that you’re dealing with me right now and not my friend Jordyn. Because if I hadn’t stopped her, you would be getting an ass-kicking right now instead of that brownie.”

We both chuckle at this, and then the air grows silent.

“Look, Jane—”

“Colin, I—”

We both try to break the awkward stillness between us at the same time, and the shared embarrassment makes both of our cheeks redden.

He tries again. “We both know you were the shoe-in for partner. It all happened so fast that I felt myself agreeing to the promotion before I even had the chance to really think about it. I’m not sure I’m ready for this right now. I’m not sure if I can even do it.” He sits in his chair and runs his hands through his perfect, blond hair.

I take a deep breath. I really don’t feel like reassuring someone who got the job that I deserved to get, but what the hell, I can tell he needs it.

“You’ve accomplished a lot as an attorney already, and this is just something new you can learn how to manage. I mean, obviously it’s going to be a lot, probably even more than we could begin to guess.”

He looks up at me, and I can sense I might be making it worse, so I switch gears. “You have a solid team of attorneys underneath you who will help while you find your groove. I’m not saying I’m totally happy about the decision, but I know you can do it. Also, I’m here for you while you figure it all out.”

“Thanks, Jane, I…just thank you.”

“Don’t sweat it.” I turn, headed toward the door. But before I exit, I turn back to face him and add, “Just don’t mess it up. Because then I’ll feel reeeeeaaaalllly bad if the guy who got the promotion I wanted does a shit job.”

Colin smiles and gives a little nod as I close the door behind me.

I lean the back of my head against it while I gather my thoughts and prepare myself for the crazy ride I’m about to go on.