Chapter 19
Gannix
I’ve watched her, and I’m still watching her. Ron told me he would come back and change the IV bags and antibiotics, but I told him I could handle that myself. That doesn’t mean he isn’t going to show up and see for himself. That’s why I like Ron.
“You doing okay?” Ren asks me as he comes to sit next to me on my bed.
“I don’t fucking know, Ren. He hasn’t even called me. He has to know I’m gone by now,” I tell him. Gary has made no attempt to call me or text me, which I find very strange.
“I’m guessing he’s pissed,” he says.
“I stole her back, Ren. He’s more than pissed. She was supposed to be dead,” I remind him. Ren knows now. I confided in him. Told him the things they made us do, that we still do, but I didn’t tell him everything. Just the parts he needed to know to understand what the hell was happening.
“I’m not going to pretend to understand the shit you’re into, Nix. I’m truly shocked by what you told me, to be honest, but you did the right thing taking her.”
“You think so?” I ask, glancing over at him.
“Yeah, I think so. She didn’t deserve to die for something she knew nothing about. Not that the others did, but …” he trails off. I reach up and scrub my hand over my face wondering what the fuck to do now.
“He’s going to come looking for her at some point.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah, I do. He doesn’t leave a stone unturned if you know what I mean. He isn’t going to let this go.”
“What do you want to do then?” Ren asks me. I shrug. I honestly don’t know.
“I’m not letting him have her, that I do know.”
“I wouldn’t either. We can up security here,” he suggests as I nod.
“Let’s do that for now. I need to rest, and I know she needs it.”
“What is it about her?” he asks, nodding toward where Emerson sleeps soundly.
“I don’t know, to be honest. I’ve tried to figure that out myself. There’s nothing notable about her, Ren, so why the hell am I so attracted to her?”
“There’s something there that pulled you in. I’m wondering if that’s a good thing or a bad thing,” he adds. I look over at him now.
“What do you mean?”
“I thought I knew you, Nix. I know you like dark things sexually, but what you truly do?” he shakes his head. “I don’t know how that girl plays into it.”
“You think I don’t know how fucked up this is? How fucked up I am?”
“I don’t know, Gannix. You went there to hunt women,” he responds as I shove off the bed and stand to my feet. I tug at my hair, understanding where he’s coming from.
“You didn’t grow up the way we did. This is all we’ve known. It was ingrained in us since we were kids, Ren. Killing them for something bigger than us.”
“Which is?” he asks. No, he challenges, and I have no answer for him. I truly don’t know because nothing good has ever come out of this.
“I … I don’t fucking know, Ren. I’ve looked for it, searched for it, trying to find what my father would talk about when we were younger. When we were kids, it was mainly women who hurt us in some way. As we got older, it was mostly the ones we tried to have relationships with, and they learned the truth about us. We were always looked at like monsters by women. There were laughs and jokes they would tell their friends. It was completely fucked up, Ren.”
“Fuck, Nix. That had to mess your head up growing up like that.”
“It did. It would trigger some darkness in me I couldn’t control.”
“Shit, man. I’m sorry.”
“No. Don’t do that shit. I don’t need you to feel bad for me.”
“You need a therapist,” he adds.
“You think I haven’t tried that shit, too? They want to drug me and put me on so much medicine I can’t function. No one really wants to help me.” The silence in the room is all I need. He doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know how to respond to that because if a fucking doctor couldn’t help me, who could?
“You need anything?”
“No.”
“You need to sleep, Nix. Rest,” he says as I nod my head.
“I know, and I will.”
“When?”
“When I know she’s okay.”
“Ron said she’s going to be in and out of it for a while.”
“Yeah, but I need to make sure she’s okay, Ren. I didn’t do this shit for me; I did it for her.”
“I think your emotions play into this more than you think,” he says.
“Meaning?”
“You lost your shit when she was gone, Nix. You had me sell her goddamn house, man. You’re keeping her. You’re not letting her leave here, and we both know it.”
He’s right. I don’t plan on letting Emerson leave here. I don’t plan on letting her out of my fucking sight.
“Does that bother you?” I ask him, turning to look him in the eyes.
“No. You pay me to do what I do, and that’s it, Gannix. What you do with your time is your business.” He’s right. It’s my business, but I don’t know how well I can trust him with this. Can I trust him to keep his mouth shut? Can I trust he won’t help her escape me? Because if he does, I will have no reason not to kill him and his wife. And I will use that against him. He has to know that. He has to know I will fucking make him watch while I gut her in front of him.
“Go home, Ren.”
“You don’t want me to hang around?” I shake my head.
“No. You need to rest, too. We’re not going anywhere and you have this place surrounded. We’ll be fine for now,” I tell him.
“I mean it, Nix. What you do is your business, but all I ask is you don’t drag me into it.”
“My personal business?” I ask to clarify.
“Yeah.”
“You have my word. As far as you are in right now, is it. I won’t drag you into it further.” He nods his head before standing and leaving the room. I watch him close the door behind him before I walk over to the twin bed I had set up for Emerson in my room. I reach out and run my fingers along her cheek and over her cracked lips. I can’t believe he did this to her. She’s burned, cut, whipped, and sick.
The more I think about it, the angrier I get at him. The thought of killing him and ending his life has crossed my mind since we’ve been back. The fact he hasn’t made contact tells me he’s thinking the exact same thing as me. He’s probably plotting my death as we speak.
But my focus right now is Emerson. She needs to heal and get better so I can do all the things to her I’ve been thinking about. She thought she saw me as I was, but she hadn’t seen anything yet. I was just easing her into my world, into the things I like.
Emerson doesn’t realize the monster she’s unleashed in me. The one who’s been sitting dormant for far too long. The one who craves things only she can give me.
I part her dry lips with my finger and slowly stick it into her mouth, feeling her wet tongue as I groan. Her head lolls to the side, and I step closer, pulling my finger free. I unhook my jeans and pull them down slightly to free my cock, and then I shift forward so I can slip it past her lips. My eyes roll into the back of my fucking head as I feel her wet tongue touch my cock. I groan as I slowly fuck her mouth. She isn’t awake, and she won’t even know this happened, but I’ve watched her enough. I’ve tasted her enough. I need more.
I need her, and I’m going to take every fucking ounce of her I can get.
I continue to fuck her perfect mouth until I can’t stand it anymore. I pull my cock out and wrap my hand around it, stroking and tugging until I’m spraying cum all over her perfect bruised face.
I wish I could leave her like this, covered in me, but I can’t. So, instead, I walk to the bathroom, change into my sweatpants, and grab a wet cloth to clean her face up with. I walk back over to her bed and gently wipe away my mess before tossing the cloth on the floor and climbing into my bed.
I pull the blankets up over myself and lie on my side, watching her until my eyes finally close and sleep pulls me under.