A Game to Lose
Hayvin
I shimmy a triumphant little dance as the bowling ball smashes into the pins, scattering them in a flawless strike.
“Woo hoo! Strike, baby. Take that, sucker,” I taunt, sticking my tongue out at Alek.
His gaze sears so hot it sends a shiver of desire racing up my spine. He rises, prowling toward me with unmistakable intent, stopping close enough that his breath brushes my ear.
“Stick that tongue out at me again and I’ll show you what you can do with it,” he whispers wickedly.
The raw promise in his voice leaves me aching with want. A moan escapes before I can stop it, and Alek’s wicked chuckle sends a delicious shiver through me.
“You’re playing dirty,” I grumble, giving him a gentle shove.
“All’s fair in love and war, baby girl.”
“Oh, we’re at war now, are we?”
He lifts one hand, palm up. “Getting back up on stage.” He lifts his other hand in the same manner. “Getting to fall asleep with you in my arms. Love and war, baby, because I know which I’d rather do.”
I flash him a smug grin and glance at the scoreboard overhead. “Better bring your A-game, Casanova.”
He has no idea I fully intend to let him win tonight. That secret is mine to keep.
Alek slides his middle and ring fingers through the holes in the ball and cradles it in his palm. “Watch and learn, Hayvin Marie. Watch and learn.”
“Definitely not a hardship,” I mumble, my eyes dropping to his ass as he steps up the lane.
No one fills out a pair of jeans quite like he does.
Alek nails a strike and does his signature fist pump, complete with the hip thrust he claims for every strike.
I laugh and reach for my drink, but something in the corner of my eye snags my attention. My gaze snaps up, and I freeze.
Standing at the shoe rental desk are David, Jerica, and another man.
For a split second, I wonder if Alek called them or told them where we were, but I quickly remind myself that he didn't even know where we'd be until I picked. He hasn’t touched his phone since he arrived at my house. He’s focused entirely on our time together.
I try to reassure myself as doubt passes through me, but it fades just as quickly.
Sure, it’s possible, but it doesn’t feel right. That’s not who he’s been lately.
If we’re going to make this work, I have to trust that he won’t mess it up again.
“Hey,” Alek murmurs, gliding me around gently to cup his hands around my cheeks.
His thumbs swipe along my cheekbones as he gazes into my eyes. “I didn’t invite them. I promise.”
It’s the panic and fear in his voice that snaps my defenses. For a moment, guilt mixes with my worry that I made him think I didn’t believe him. As I blink up at him, I see defeat cloud his expression, and my own feelings shift from suspicion to empathy.
“I know you didn’t,” I reassure him.
His brows flash together. “Wait. You do?”
I give him a side smile. “Of course.”
“Thank fuck,” he whispers, brushing a kiss along my nose. “They don’t matter. Just you and me.”
“Do you miss them?” I ask, curious.
“I miss David.” He shakes his head. “Sort of. I don’t know, Vin. It’s weird, you know? He was my best friend, but I realize he had his own issues that he brought to our friendship. My relationship with them was as full of toxicity as the one I grew up around.”
“Do you think you’ll ever want to be friends with them again?”
He searches my face for any indication of how I feel, but he won’t find anything but genuine curiosity.
“Jerica, never. There’s nothing I miss about her or our friendship. David…I wouldn’t rule it out if he gets help and apologizes to you for how he treated you.” I open my mouth, but he places a finger over it. “I’m responsible for it all, but they could have treated you better.”
“And you never questioned them,” I chide gently.
“You’re right, and I apologize for that. To finish answering your question, as much as I’d consider it, I don’t think I ever will. Not like we were, anyway. Where David goes, Jerica follows. That’s not the friendship I want.”
Lifting to my toes, I brush my lips along his jawline. “Apology accepted. Now, hold my place. I need to use the restroom.”
I mull over Alek’s answers, sifting through my feelings.
The problem with his friendship with David has always been Jerica.
Alek’s blind spot for their behavior made me uneasy.
When Alek said, 'Where David goes, Jerica follows,' the truth hit me anew. A friendship with David means inviting her back in, and I’m not sure I could ever accept that. The trust and boundaries between us were shattered, leaving me cautious. Even though Alek played his part in the breakup, Jerica knew he was taken when she kissed him, never realizing I’d already ended things until Alek found the apartment empty.
Sorting through regret, resentment, and understanding, I realize too much damage has been done.
I just can’t get behind a woman who would knowingly do something like that.
So while David isn’t really the problem, Jerica definitely is.
Looks like this is a conversation we’ll have to revisit before long.
I’m washing my hands when the bathroom door swings open. I don’t need to look up to know it’s her. The air thickens with expectation, heavy with unsaid words.
I’d rather avoid her entirely, but I know I won’t escape this room without hearing her out.
With a sigh, I lean against the sink and fold my arms over my chest. “Look. I’m going to be straight with you.
I don’t want to be here doing this with you.
I’d rather get back to my date with Alek.
You’ve obviously got some things to get off your chest. It’s not my job to appease your needs, but you’re lucky, or maybe not so lucky, because now that you’re in front of me, I want to speak my peace as well. So, say what you have to say.”
Jerica stands there, wringing her hands, mouth opening and closing. I let her flounder. She wanted this, so she can find her own words.
“I’m sorry,” she blurts before exhaling heavily.
“I haven’t gotten to say that to you yet.
The way I treated you was unfair. This isn’t an excuse, but we have a lot of unresolved things from our childhood.
It led to a lot of toxic behavior from David and me.
Outside of David, Alek was the only person who had ever been there for me.
I won’t lie to you, Hayvin. I took advantage of that anytime I could.
It was an ugly thing for me to do, and it was totally unfair to you.
I knew Alek was using me, and I let him because it meant he hadn’t abandoned me completely. ”
“You want to know something funny? If you’d have made an effort all those times I tried with you and David, this conversation might be going another way,” I inform her.
“It’s possible, but the truth is, Hayvin, I was going to be the same person I’d always been unless I healed the parts of me that were broken.”
I sigh, conflicted. I want to feel nothing for the girl in front of me, but against my will, pity creeps in to complicate things.
“Look. I don’t hate you. That’s a power I won’t give anyone over me.
I’m just going to have a hard time ever liking you.
We won’t be friends. Ever. You did a lot of stuff that, as a woman, hell, as a human being, I just can’t get behind.
I understand you had an ugly childhood, but that only excuses your behavior for so long.
There has to be a point when you choose to become a better person.
I overheard you that day, you know. The one when Alek walked away from his friendship with you and David.
I commend you for finally recognizing the toxicity in you and your brother.
For us, and more than likely for Alek and David, it’s just too late to make much of a difference between any of the relationships.
You kissed him, Jerica. You did it knowing, or at least believing, I was still at home waiting for him.
You put your mouth on a man who didn’t want it, didn’t ask for it, and supposedly was taken.
Do you know what would happen if the roles were reversed?
” I shake my head. “Anyway, I may have broken up with him before he left that day, but you…didn’t… know…that. So, why?”
Tears fall from her eyes. “I wasn’t thinking. I saw Reggie pull up, and I only wanted to hurt him as much as I was.”
“And inflicted that same pain on me,” I say, voice flat.
Jerica flinches. “I didn’t even consider that.”
“You never really considered anyone else, did you? You and David both act without considering the fallout. There’s hope for you, Jerica. You’ve owned your selfishness and decided to change. Your brother still has far to go.
I step away from the sink and slide past her to open the door. Alek’s hand is poised where the handle would be, and I raise a brow. “Were you about to come into the ladies room?”
“You were taking too long, and I didn’t see her anywhere. Had a feeling she’d corner you.” He cups my chin to hold me in place. “Are you good?”
“I’m good, Alek. Promise.” I push him back and step out, holding the door open so I can see Jerica. “I’m not your enemy, Jerica. I never was. Yours and David’s biggest enemy will always be the person you see in the mirror.”
The door closes between us, sealing the closure I’ve needed for so long.
“Where is my sister?”
His growled words send goosebumps up my arms. David looks worn and haunted, like his demons might drag him under at any second.
“She’s in the bathroom,” I tell him softly.
“Why isn’t she out here? What the hell did you say to her?” he snarls, stepping closer to me.
Alek maneuvers between us, his own lip curled back as he pushes David away. “Stay the fuck out of her face. You speak to her in that tone again and you’ll be lucky to speak at all.”
“What’s your deal with me?” I ask quietly, moving out from behind Alek. “You acted this way during our entire relationship. You never tried getting to know me. Yet you stand here acting like I’m the one who hurt your sister.”
David scowls. “I don’t have an issue with you.”
Alek goes to speak, but I place a hand on his chest to stop him. I overheard Alek’s confrontation with him when he broke off his friendship. This time, it’s my turn to have a say.
“That’s what you say. Question. Did you know I was in a relationship with Alek?” He just stares at me as if he doesn’t understand what I’m saying. “Did…you…know…that I was in a relationship with Alek? The man you called a best friend.”
“You were together for three years. Of course, I knew.”
I nod at David. “So, you’re just an asshole then.
And honestly, not a very good best friend.
Let’s be real here. Do you know how to do that?
Be real? No worries, I do. So, stick with me through this.
Alek was the reason for the demise of our relationship, but you and Jerica played your part, didn’t you?
You enabled them both. Your sister says jump and you ask how high.
You never stop to consider the ramifications.
Hell, Alek wasn’t much better. They used each other for their own selfish reasons, and you aided them. ”
“I tried getting him to see what he was doing,” David growls.
I cluck my tongue. My hair swishes against my cheeks as I shake my head. “Did you really, though? Because if my best friend was pulling stupid shit that could hurt her relationship, you best bet I’d be setting her straight, and I wouldn’t do it subtly.”
David’s face goes even darker as his chin tilts stubbornly. “Not my business to do more than I did.”
Jerica was right. They both have issues they need to work through.
“Then you weren’t his friend. Friends want the best for each other. They want each other to be happy.” I shake my head. “Whatever you all were, David, it wasn’t friends.”
“She’s right,” Alek agrees, scrubbing a hand over his face.
“Hell, as much as I hate to admit it, none of us were good friends to each other. It took me losing her to see how fucked up I was. How fucked up we all were. We were all going to crash and burn eventually, man. Do you really want to continue living your life with so many demons riding your back?”
“Fuck you, man,” David spits. “You’re really doing it then. Burning our friendship to the ground for this bitch?”
The crack of Alek’s knuckles smacking against David’s cheek drowns out Jerica’s shocked gasp. Alek draws back to hit him again, but in a stupid move, I step between them and wrap my arms around Alek.
“You’re damn right I’m going to burn this friendship to the ground now.
I’ll burn the whole fucking world down for her.
Look at you, David. Calling someone—calling my woman—a bitch because you don’t like the truth in my words?
Right now, this version of you is not someone I would ever want to know. ”
Alek pulls his gaze from David and puts it on me. The anger turns to a simmer as concern takes its place. He grasps my chin, gently lifting my face. “Are you okay, baby girl?”
I smile. “I am, Casanova. His words don’t hurt me because he’s irrelevant.”
“What the fuck is wrong with you, David?” Jerica asks.
“Every day, you’re drifting further and further away.
I don’t know what happened between you and Amelia, but it only made you worse.
I love you, brother, but I don’t recognize you anymore.
I’m healing. I’m getting better. I’m finding happiness.
” She smiles gently at the man behind her brother, then returns her attention to David.
“I want that for you, too. Until you can acknowledge the wrongness in you, you’re never going to find it.
Someone told me very recently that our only enemy is the person we see in the mirror, and she’s right.
Tell me, David. Can you look at yourself in the mirror? Do you like what you see?”
“This is all very entertaining, but it’s not my problem anymore. I have a date waiting,” I cut in.
I tangle my fingers with Alek’s and guide us around them.
Tonight, I have to lose the game so we can both walk away winners.