33. Chapter Thirty-four
Chapter Thirty-four
Summer
Everything feels like a big messed up dream. The worst part, I’d believe it if it weren’t for the gaping hole resting in the center of my chest right where my heart is.
I can’t think.
I can barely eat.
Sleep is a lost cause.
Whatever realistic nightmare I’ve been trapped in needs to end. And that’s what it feels like… A fucking nightmare.
My chest tightens as I stare at the door to the police station across the parking lot. The longer I sit here and do nothing, the more I struggle to catch my breath.
This was my idea; I feel like I should be a lot stronger than I am.
My decision wasn’t an easy one, but it was necessary. I needed to make it.
Alec reaches his arm over, hooking his fingers between mine. He gives a reassuring squeeze, subtly telling me it’ll be OK. It helps, but not enough. It’s far from enough for what we’re about to do.
I turn my head to face him, a strand of hair dangling on the top of his forehead as he leans his head against the headrest, staring at me. There’s a small smile on my mouth, but it drops the second I look back out the passenger-side window.
“What are you thinking?” he asks. If I didn’t like him so much, I’d be annoyed that he constantly asks me that.
I take a deep breath, looking back at him. “This is madness.”
He listens to me carefully, a small smirk plays on his lips. “Have you changed your mind?”
“No. I haven’t.”
“Well then. When you’re ready, we’ll go in.”
I press my right hand to my forehead and shake my head, sighing. “This could very well have you put in cuffs. You know that, right?”
“Well aware.”
“And you’re still going to come inside with me?”
He raises a brow. “Have you listened to a word I said?”
I glance back toward the building. “I have. It’s just… you’re.” Why can’t I think of the right word? “You’re literally perfect.”
“It’s about time you realize that.”
Rolling my eyes, I nudge him in the arm. His laugh is deep and genuine. “I need a couple more minutes.”
“Take all the time you need, sunshine.”
And I do. Taking a deep but harsh breath, I think about everything that can happen the second my father sees us walking into the office. I know he’s in there. I had Alec drive around the back of the building so I could make sure his car was there.
Worry slithers through me, and it doesn’t help that I keep thinking about why my father has it out for Alec. I have so many questions, but that one is one I cannot understand, no matter how many times I try to solve it myself. What could Alec have done that would cause my father to plant drugs on him?
“I feel like a fool, Alec.”
“Don’t do that. Don’t sit here and think this is your fault. Don’t allow yourself to think that you’re not smart enough to figure things out on your own. He’s your father, and despite the shit he’s put you through lately… you still care for him. That much I do know.” He sighs. “The night before my parents overdosed, I got into an argument with my father. He was strict, but with reason. I was a kid who wanted nothing more than to be a kid. They didn’t make that easy on me, considering a lot of money was spent on other things instead of food. But even through everything, I still loved them. It still broke me when they died.”
My heart sits heavy on the edge of my chest. I lean my head against the seat, the soft leather brushing against my ear as I turn my head toward Alec. His eyes drag me into a sense of calm.
A small smile tugs at the corner of my lips. “Thank you for sharing that. I hadn’t known, and it was… it was nice to hear.” My eyes widen. “Shit. I’m sorry, that came out wrong. What I meant was it… it was, um, relatable.” My face scrunches. Embarrassment replaces the anxiety I was holding.
He laughs. “I knew what you meant.” His hand presses against the back of my head, his touch soothing. He pulls me close, pressing his lips against mine in a deep, passionate kiss. I feel his fingers tighten, causing my heart to race. Before the kiss deepens, he breaks it and rests his head against mine.
“How do you know this is going to work?” I mumble, having second thoughts.
The back of his knuckles brushes against my cheek in an up-and-down motion. “I don’t. But listen… if we don’t try, we’ll regret it. You’ll regret it. This isn’t going to be pretty, and it’s damn right terrifying. But we’re here because we need to know the truth. Think of your mom.”
I nod, but the reality of the situation hits me hard. Stepping into the building and entering my father’s office will undoubtedly provoke his anger, especially because I have Alec with me. I can manage a lot of things myself. I have. This, though? I can’t do this alone. Not after my father put his hands on me.
This plan could very well lead us down a path we both desperately want to avoid, but I can’t live with myself knowing my mother’s killer is still walking the streets, even if it is my father. I also can’t live with how much he ruined Alec and Callie’s lives.
I suck in another large amount of air. The fall of my chest helps me enough to feel confident again. “I’m ready.”
Alec nods, and we both get out of the car. I stay close to him as we cross the lot and enter the first set of doors to the police station. When the second set opens, a noticeable hush falls upon the four walls of the main entrance. Billboards hang upon the walls. Two chairs beside the front door line neatly next to a small round table with pamphlets and flies. My eyes fall on the glass door where Officer Brentley sits behind. His dirty blond hair is neatly styled back.
I swallow harshly as Alec and I approach the desk. Alec keeps his hand on my lower back, and the soft movements of his thumb keep me from collapsing.
Brentley looks up and smiles welcomingly, illuminating his blue eyes. “Summer, it’s nice to see you again.”
I clear my throat. “It’s nice to see you too. Is my father here?” I try to keep my voice steady, but it shakes with each word that I say, and I can only pray that Brentley doesn’t notice.
“He got back a few moments ago for lunch. He’s in his office. I can page him and see if he’s free.”
I shake my head, blinking rapidly. My insides are cramping in ways I wish they wouldn’t. “No. No need. I actually want to surprise him.” I fake a big smile on my face, but at the same time, I’m trying really hard not to throw up all over this dark brown floor.
Brentley’s thick eyebrows crease. His eyes move from Alec to me. The tick of the clock is only making my insides curl more, and the nausea slowly sneaks upward.
Finally, after what feels like an unsettling few minutes but was only about thirty seconds, he nods. “Very well.”
Brentley’s arm reaches to the left and pushes the red button to unlock the side door. He rises from his chair, grabbing the handheld metal detector just as Alec and I both move to the door.
“Apologies. Standard procedure,” he notes to Alec, knowing that I am used to this.
With a smile, Alec and I both raise our arms to allow Brentley to run the detector over us. Once we’re both cleared, Alec follows closely behind me as I take the lead and maneuver my way through rows of desks with computers in the center of the large room. I have this area of the station memorized. Having to come here after school to wait for Dad to get off his shift while Mom wasn’t home had me curious.
Heading toward the far back, where my father’s office is located, I take Alec’s hand in mine.
“He has his own office?” Alec whispers.
“He and Brentley are the two officers that have been here the longest. Somehow, they approved him to have his own private office. However, I’m starting to think he suckered them into getting his own office to hide information.”
The closer we get to my father’s office door, my heart picks up speed, pounding against my chest like a wild animal.
“Are you ready?” I ask Alec, even though he should be the one to ask me.
“I’m ready when you are.” Alec quickly pulls his phone out of his pocket, glances at the screen, and then stores it back in his pocket.
“Right.” I breathe.
Raising my shaking hand, I knock on the door once, twice, and a third time.
It doesn’t take my father long to say, “Come in.”
I blow out another breath in an attempt to clear the terror coasting on the wave of emotions building up. Alec keeps his hand steady. He leans down to kiss my temple; I move into it, needing everything he has to offer.
Nodding, I reach for the handle and twist it, pushing the door open.
My eyes fall on my father instantly. He’s sitting at his black metal desk across the room. The expression he holds is unamusing and his gray eyebrow arches as he looks from Alec back to me.
We walk inside, closing the door. The room is silent, dark, and disconcerting. Besides the slight ticking of the clock hanging on the wall above the door, it’s suffocating. I’m sure everyone in this room can hear how aggressively my heart was pounding.
Dad leans back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. He doesn’t greet us… he doesn’t say anything to me . I should have known better than to get my hopes up that he’d be remotely happy to see me.
Clearing my throat, I stand taller. “Dad,” I say with a slight move of my head.
It’s taking everything inside of me not to crack, and truthfully, if it weren’t for Alec’s gentle touch still on my lower back, I would. I’d crumble right here onto the floor.
“Summer,” Dad says after a long beat. His voice holds a growl to it, but I stand taller than I am, refusing to show any sign of weakness.
“It really was you, wasn’t it?” I start on a whisper, but my tone is loud enough that he heard me. The tremble in each word is harder to swallow. “You killed Mom.”
He eyes me. I don’t miss the way his nostrils flare, and then, with a shallow laugh, he leans forward, tapping thick fingers on the desk. “It’s pretty bold of you to assume such things.”
“It’s pretty bold of you to deny the truth.” I swallow hard. The roll of my throat only makes the acid in my stomach rise.
Don’t break Summer. You can do this. Do not let him win this battle.
Dad hums, waving an arm toward Alec, and then locks his dark eyes on him and doesn’t move. “I suppose he told you this?”
From my peripheral, I see Alec’s jaw tick and his muscles tense. He steps forward, but I rest my hand on his forearm to stop him.
“He didn’t have to tell me anything.” My father’s eyes shift back to mine slowly. His pupils widen. “I think you’re forgetting about the man who raised me. You see, Dad. I am a hell of a lot smarter than you think. Very… what’s the word?” I tap my finger on my chin a few times. “Observant. And well, everything adds up. It all leads to you.”
I’m not sure where this is all coming from, but as soon as the words start falling off my tongue, I can’t seem to stop them.
My father’s lips tighten. He doesn’t say anything, only watches me closely. How can he be so relaxed right now? It’s clear that he doesn’t have a single decent bone in his body. His heart is completely cold.
“We’re not here because of me,” Alec whispers to me.
I raise a hand up, stopping him. “I know why we’re here.”
Then I look back at my father.
“Let me ask you something else, Dad.” I step forward, feeling much braver than I was before coming inside. “Why is it that you hate Alec so much? What did he do that you’d go to the extent of slipping Heroin into his pockets just so you could arrest him?”
A deep, gruesome chuckle falls from his throat. It sickens me that he finds this amusing. As my father adjusts himself in his comfortable leather seat, he leans over further. His elbows now rest on the top of his desk. His lip quirks.
“Let me tell you a little story, Summer. Your mother .” He sighs and tsks while running his fingers through his thick gray hair. “Your mother was simply a whore .”
My muscles tighten, and I move another foot in front of the other in defense. Alec holds me back this time, but I ignore him, keeping my eyes on my father and watching his every move.
“Your mother would leave often. Sneak out of the house. Tell me she was going out with a couple of her friends. You know, the ones you loved so dearly. They’d have a few fixes together. Heroin, to be exact.”
I shake my head in disbelief. Tears threaten to reach the surface, but I push them back as I possibly can.
He’s doing this on purpose. Don’t let him win.
“She was a nasty thing, that woman. And you… you are the spitting image of her. I needed to protect you from seeing her that way.” He leans back again, bringing his hands behind his head and rocking in his chair. “One day, while I was working, I got a call that I needed to deal with a drug problem. If I remember correctly, it was on the corner of Cherry and Ashwood. Lucky for me, I was right around the corner. When I arrived, your mother… she was draped over another man.” He pauses for a few minutes, that smug smile widening as he remembers the day as if it was yesterday. His eyes move slowly to Alec. “Andrew Sokolov.”
My head shoots to Alec, but Alec doesn’t remove his eyes from my father. His skin, usually a slight tan, now looks as white as a sheet. He had no idea. My heart sinks further as Alec’s chest rises as rage fuels him.
“You set me up because of my fucking father?” Alec shouts, his teeth gritting together.
My fingers tighten around Alec’s arm, making sure he doesn’t do something stupid.
“It was far too easy, my friend.”
“I’m not your friend,” Alec bites back.
Dad ignores him. “A lonely boy with two drug addicts as parents. I was going to arrest them when the time came. Make them pay for ruining my marriage. Unfortunately, news broke that a young boy named Alec had found them dead. What a shame.” He shakes his head with no filter. “But you… When I was notified that two kids had left a bar and your little friend said your name, I knew what to do. There aren’t many kids with the name Alec Sokolov. You made it far too easy.”
Alec chuckles, scratching his jaw. “You’re an asshole.”
My father shrugs. “I take that as a compliment.”
“Stop. Both of you!” I shout, looking from one to the other. My eyes stop at my father. “And Mom. What’s your excuse for her death?”
His lips pressed together tightly. “What happened to your mother was meant to happen. She disobeyed me. But I suppose the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.” His voice is taunting. Not a single shed of kindness in his words.
I stare at him. Disgust curls in my stomach. “What happened to you?”
Dad smiled. “Your mother spread her legs for another man, and you think something is wrong with me?”
“You are as cruel as they come. You know that?” My hands ball into fists. I’m struggling to keep my temper at bay. “I hate you.”
Before I can register what is happening, my father pushes himself out of his chair and dodges toward me. His chest heaves with each ragged, angry breath as I stumble backward, feeling my back collide with the hard wall beside the door. The pain shoots through my body, leaving me gasping for air.
“What the fuck!” Alec’s voice is jagged, angry himself.
My vision blurs as I try to grasp everything that is happening. The smell of sweat and fear fills my nostrils as my father’s rough hand grips my throat with an iron-like hold. It’s tighter and more painful than the first time he held me like this.
“Alec,” I rasp.
My eyes widen as I look into my father’s eyes. They were once lively, and now they are darker than ever before. The veins in his temples pulsate visibly.
“He can’t save you, Princess. No matter how hard he tries.” My father’s words sketch themselves into my head.
I’m trapped, helpless, and terrified as I gasp heavily for air. My face tightens the more I struggle, my heart pounding throughout every cell of my body. I bring my arms up, scratching deep into my father’s arm. I kick and scratch, fighting with everything I have. He doesn’t budge.
My ears buzz, but I’m able to make out Alec’s voice when he yells, “Get your filthy hands off her!”
I turn my eyes towards his voice, barely making him out. My head feels dizzy, like I’m going to pass out at any given moment.
My father uses his body and shoves Alec with full strength. I vaguely make out him stumbling backward. A loud thud blasts through the room, followed by a clicking.
No. No. No. My father pulled out his gun.
“Hey. It doesn’t have to be like this,” Alec says. “Let go of her, and we can go our separate ways.”
My father pulls my neck forward, slamming it back against the wall. I scream from the agony that shoots through my head and down my spinal cord.
“It wouldn’t be this way if you stayed the fuck away from my daughter like I had told you to in the first place,” my father says through clenched teeth. His grip tightens on my throat.
“Dad,” I try to say, but it’s ragged. “I-I can’t… I can’t breathe.”
This is it. I’m going to die in a police station.
Suddenly, a loud bang startles me, and my father releases his grip on my throat. My weak legs wobble, and my knees drop to the floor as I clench my chest.
“Raleigh, what the fuck is going on in here?” A man’s voice comes through.
“He tried to kill her,” Alec states.
My father’s deep laugh echoes in my ears as I still try to catch my breath.
“Is this true, Raleigh?” the man asks.
“Now, why would I dare kill my daughter? They were fighting. I tried to break them up.”
What? No. That’s not true. I want to fight it. I want to tell the man what really happened, but I can’t. My throat is sore. My voice is nearly gone.
“You’re lying!” Alec shouts.
“Let’s go, Raleigh.” The man’s arm goes around my father’s back, guiding him from the room. Then he turns toward Alec and me. “You both need to leave right now. We will sort this out.”
I turn my head slowly, my vision slowly coming back. All I see is my father being dragged from the room, his eyes wild and unrepentant. A smile wildly on his face.
As soon as they’re no longer in sight, Alec shuffles my way. His warm hands come up to my face, and I close my eyes, swallowing as much as I can.
“You OK?”
My eyes open, falling to the top of his head where he has a large cut. “You’re… you’re bleeding.”
Alec’s hand touches the top of his head. Red crimson coats two of his fingers. “I’ll be fine. Are you OK?”
I shake my head because no, I’m not OK.
And I don’t think I ever will be.