43. Chapter Forty-four
Chapter Forty-four
Summer
As I finish touching up my makeup, I make sure I don’t apply anything directly on the small scar on my high cheekbone. The two stitches were removed a couple of days ago, but I’ve been cautious of having anything on the scar.
I know I shouldn’t be worried as much as I am. Allen specifically told me that everything was going to turn out the way it should, and even spoke directly to Kayse, the lawyer hired for my case against my father, who also stated that he most certainly wouldn’t be off the hook. But there is still this gut-wrenching feeling I have in the pit of my stomach.
“It’ll pass,” I tell myself, breathing softly as I adjust the hem of the fancy blue blouse Chloe lent me.
There is one thing to look forward to after the hearing… reuniting Alec and his sister. Given what Alec has told me about Jules, it won't be easy, but I’m determined and looking forward to the challenge. With two big things planned in one day, it’s overwhelming, but I needed something else to flood my mind and keep from thinking of the worst case.
“You’re beautiful.”
I’m startled slightly, turning to see Alec leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed and one leg over the other. He looks amazing, dressed in a casual button-up plaid shirt and light-washed jeans. His hair is styled neatly. He’s truly breathtaking.
“How long have you been standing there?” I ask, looking back at myself in the mirror, dread continuing to wash over me.
“Long enough to know you’re second-guessing going today.” Our eyes meet through the mirror. He pushes off the frame, wrapping his arms around me and resting his chin lightly on my shoulder.
I swallow through the thickness in my throat and look down at my hands holding onto the edge of the sink. “I need to be there.”
“Then I suppose should we get going.”
I lean into him, allowing the comfort of his body against mine to take me to a beautiful place long enough to feel a little more at ease before cleaning up my makeup scattered all over the sink and slipping my brand-new black flats on. I removed the air cast for today, not wanting it to be the focus of my outfit while we’re at the courthouse. Thankfully, my foot has healed much faster than the doctors and I anticipated. Probably because Alec barely lets me do things on my own with the fear that I will hurt myself more.
Alec locks his fingers with mine, pulling me to the front door. After coming home from the hospital a week ago, Alec had James grab a new door, and they both goofed around while installing it. The memories of my father in the kitchen with a gun digging into Alec’s head still haunts me, but I’m thankful I don’t have a bullet hole to stare at every day.
Alec locks up the apartment. When we get to the car, he opens the door for me, and I slip inside easily, forcing myself to take a few deep breaths while Alec walks around the car to get into the driver's side. He has this tendency to know exactly how I’m feeling, but I do my best to hide the fear that consumes me.
Keeping one hand on the steering wheel, Alec holds my hand with the other the entire drive to the courthouse. My heart starts to pound against my chest as we walk into the building and through the metal detectors. My clammy hands give away the anxiety stored inside of me as we reach Officer Brentley and Kayse.
Allen gives me a curt nod. I respond with a small smile, but it’s anything but real.
“Good morning, Ms. Raleigh,” Kayse greets me.
“Please, call me Summer.” The last thing I want to be called is Ms. Raleigh on a day like today, with the reminder of my mother and father lingering in the back of my mind.
“Of course. Summer.” Kayse flips through a few papers in the folder he has in his hands, skimming over them for a brief minute. Now, I understand that we have only spoken on the phone once, but I can assure you that with everything we put together, you have absolutely nothing to worry about.”
Running my tongue across my dry mouth, I nod. Alec’s arm lies on the small of my back, his thumb moving back and forth to comfort me—that’s all I need—not the words spoken by Kayse and certainly not the confident look Allen is giving me.
Kayse closes the folder and exhales. “Great. I will let them know we’re all here.” He takes off, leaving just Allen, Alec, and me.
I glance back at Allen. His features shift in slight concern. “Are you sure you want to be here for this? Your father will be on the stand.”
I push through the nerves and through the clammy tension and pain delving between my eyes. “Yes, I’m sure.”
He gives me a sad smile and offers a small hug. I take it because I don’t want him to feel like this is too much for me. I don’t want anyone to think that I can’t handle watching this hearing.
“I need to see it. I need to be here,” I silently remind myself. It’s getting hard to believe, though.
Alec leans down and kisses the top of my head. “Let’s go take our seats.”
I suck in a deep wary breath.
I can do this.
We get into the courtroom, Chloe stands immediately rushing toward me and pulling me into a hug. The bright lights only deepen the small ache between my eyebrows. I blink a few times, to adjust to the change in my environment and wrap my arms around Chloe.
“Everything will be OK, Summer. This needed to be done,” Chloe whispers in my ear.
“I know,” I choke out, having a hard time keeping myself steady.
There aren’t a lot of people, a good handful, but it feels like it’s far more crowded. James, Tyler and Samantha sit in the first row all the way in the back. When Chloe lets go of me, my eyes fall to the floor, lingering a little too long on the stained carpet.
We sit with everyone in the back, Alec beside me.
Samantha reaches over James and taps my leg softly to get my attention. “It’ll be OK.”
Her reassurance is as nice as Chloe’s, and I couldn’t be more thankful for each of them. I nod as James wraps his arm around my shoulder for a quick side hug.
“We’re here for you,” James says.
“And don’t ever think otherwise,” Tyler adds.
I smile softly, taking in another deep breath.
A few minutes later, the security guard shouts, “All rise.”
Everyone in the seating area does, and my body is moving slower than average. My heart thunders deep inside of me, my ears drawing out the sound of deep footsteps and low voices. Alec gives my hand a small squeeze, seeing how overstimulated I am.
The room falls silent as a door opens. I know this because I can hear it through the beat of my heart and throbbing pulse in my neck. We take our seats once again as a cleared throat sounds through the room.
“You may begin,” a female says. Judge Hathaway, Allen told me. He said she’s the hardest judge in the state.
Keeping my head down, I listened as Kayse pitches his testimony—my testimony—down to a T. He doesn’t leave a single detail out, including everything regarding Alec’s case.
Hearing the words fall from his mouth increases the tension in my muscles. The visions replay in my mind. It’s unwanted. Heavy. Dangerous.
“As you see, ma’am. Charles Raleigh has corrupted the system. Involved himself in a third-degree murder with Brandon Antonio and proceeded to hide evidence of the murder of Katherine Raleigh—his wife,” Kayse ends his testimony.
“Brandon Antonio was arrested, yes?” Judge Hathaway asks.
“Yes, your honor. He was taken to the station shortly after Summer Raleigh’s statement.”
“Mhm. Now, is Ms. Raleigh here today?”
My stomach twists, my fingers curling into fists. I might hurl.
“It is in her best interest that she be left out of this hearing.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
Oh, no. Please. God. Don’t make me stand up there.
“She is here today, your honor.”
My skin overheats, and I feel like I can’t breathe. I thought I could do this. I thought I’d be able to handle being here and listening, but all it took was seeing my father’s eyes glued onto me—a dagger waiting to strike.
His hair is greasy, a gray mop of a disaster resting on the top of his head. From where I’m sitting, the bags underneath his eyes are viable. Chained cuffs wrap around his wrists, and two officers keep close with firearms ready in case of an unplanned attack.
Twenty minutes pass as the Judge reviews the copies of Kayse’s paperwork. When she finishes, she turns to my father: “Mr. Raleigh, do you understand the severe consequences of your actions?”
My father doesn’t take his eyes off me. “I do.”
“Great. We are sentencing you to twenty-five years for third degree murder, and five years for tampering with evidence. You will have a 25,000 dollar fine.” She turns her head and continues speaking to everyone, “All signed documents and cases involving Charles Raleigh are to be looked over. Court dismissed.”
The sound of the wooden hammer slamming against the desk causes me to jump, followed by a strange sound creeping its way up my throat, my eyes falling shut as water leaks from the corners. I shake my head. Unable to control myself as long sobs shatter me into different pieces.
It hurts. It hurts so fucking bad hearing this.
My father is going to prison. Where he belongs. I should feel better, but I don’t.
There will no longer be laughs. Golf trips on a weekend. There will no longer be a ‘I’m proud of you’ coming from him. Not even a small tear of happiness when I succeed in what is to come.
There will no longer be an us.
I cover my mouth as the cries break free. “I need to leave,” I manage to stumble over my words. I speak to Alec and look for his comfort—his love and the protection he gives me.
He holds my hands, helping me up from my seat. I don’t pay attention to anyone else, my vision hazy and nausea coiling inside my stomach. My muscles are so weak I’m barely able to register that my feet are even moving.
Warm air hits my face, but it’s a blur. My hand makes its way against my chest, right over my heart, as my feet stumble from underneath me. Alec’s arms. That’s all I feel, all I can register as he holds me in place, so I don’t crash onto the ground.
The pain is real. Dragging through my insides and leaving me to drown in my own blood.
Alec’s voice is all I hear, but I can’t register the words as I gasp through each strong inhale. My throat hurts. Brutally sore from the scream that escapes from me.
“It’s OK, Sunshine. You’re OK.” I manage to hear as Alec pulls me into his chest,
I notice we’re sitting on the ground in front of the courthouse. I hear voices, but can’t make out who’s voice they belong to. Alec rocks me back and forth, holding me tight and drawing lines up and down my spine.
God, why? What have I done to deserve this?