Chapter Thirteen
Bodies and Blame
Ziggy
I drowned out the world under that shower for a solid fifteen minutes. When I emerged, feeling refreshed and more prepared for such conversations, however, my young wife wasn’t anywhere to be found.
The bed was made, so I knew she’d been in the room, even if I hadn’t heard her while I was under the water. The hall was dimly lit, and the door to Ruby’s room shut tight. I stood there a minute, listening, and praying she wasn’t in there.
Downstairs was tidied, and I could smell a candle burning, though I didn’t immediately notice the source. It wasn’t until I arrived in the kitchen and saw the tiny flame dancing in the glass jar, that I realized where she was.
Fuck.
My feet anchored to the floor, but damned if my mind and heart weren’t halfway to that fuckin’ bike already.
I took a deep breath and made my way toward the open patio door. She was standing beside the pool I’d filled with cement. Her arms were crossed, and her gaze was locked on something in the distance, seemingly oblivious to my presence. I quietly made my way behind her and gently took her upper arms in hand before placing a kiss to her shoulder.
“What kind of mess is this?” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.
I closed my eyes, slid my arms around her waist and gave her a tiny hug, “Whatever we make of it, Ro. That’s what life always is.”
“Your family is entwined with the man who took my brother from me. What the fuck does that future look like? What do Sammy and I talk about at family affairs? When it all goes down– How does that look for you and me? You just walked away, unable to finish a meal or look at me.”
It was bad. She was right, but I’d navigated worse.
“Could always be worse,” I mumbled, realizing my inward reflections weren’t helping her any.
Her laughter came in a bitter huff, “Yeah. I’m making a big deal out of nothing. All marriages dance around dead bodies and blame games. I’m sure your first one did, too, right?”
She whipped around, before I could get the stunned expression off my face. I opened my mouth, but my brain actually reacted faster than my tongue for once and I resisted the urge to back her up with the crudest shit I could bring myself to utter. That was how I usually won my arguments with Jolene. Ro wasn’t Jolene, though. Those blue eyes widened, and I could tell she regretted her words, even if she didn’t understand just how close to home they’d hit.
“Yeah. It actually did.” I gestured to the pool, keeping my tone low and even.
She hesitantly turned her gaze in the direction I’d indicated, and I could tell by the way she stared at the monstrosity, that it was the first time she’d consciously took note of it. Her cheeks lost a bit of their color and she swallowed hard.
“Is that–? Do you have something buried there?” The fear in her tone was palpable.
“My heart,” I managed, before the emotion swelled in my throat and I got pissed off for even trying to enter into Ruby territory with her. I couldn’t keep the irritation out of my voice when I snapped, “Jesus, Roisin. If I ever had a need to bury a body, I damn sure wouldn’t do it in the backyard of my family home.”
She blinked, digesting what I said, but clearly struggling still. “Why the concrete–? Wh–?”
I closed my eyes, forced my lungs to slow and my thoughts to quiet enough that I wouldn’t scream it at her, “My little girl drowned in that fuckin’ pool.”
When I opened my eyes, hers were glistening, and her fingers were covering her lips.
“It led to blame games and ruined your marriage?” she guessed, her fingers slowly dropping away from her mouth to reach for mine.
I looked away, but kept my hand still, allowing her to hold onto it, “Something like that. It’s a little tough to talk about, but all I meant to say was– You didn’t call and tell nobody Menace took Sammy. She can’t hold that against you. Just like I’m not the one that hurt your brother, right?”
Her gaze dropped and I ducked my head trying to force her to maintain eye contact, as I repeated, “Right?”
“A member of your club did,” she whispered.
“Of his own drunken volition. Not on my order or on the club’s behalf. Me and you were brought together by something ugly and regrettably tragic, but we’ve committed no personal wrongs against each other. We can grow from this if we choose. There’s nothing saying this has to stay ugly, is there?”
She swiped the tears from her eyes and shook her head.
“Right.” I pulled her toward me and kissed her crown. “If it makes you feel better, he’s out bad with the club. His actions brought unsanctioned conflict with the Double Nickel gang.”
She jerked back and stared at me with a mixture of disbelief and admiration, “You put a hit out on him, for real?”
I nodded. “I did– at one point.”
Her face fell, right along with her tone “So, you recalled it?”
I tipped my head left and right, searching for the right explanation, “Not exactly, but I’m sure my VP spread the word that I struck a peace treaty with Sean to save him from a mob hit.”
It was complicated. Her hands snapped against my chest, knocking me back about six inches, and squarely into reality. Life was complicated, and so the fuck was marriage!
“Are you saying that marrying you pardoned my brother’s killer?” Ro visibly bristled.
“Damn it girl,” I reached for her hand, “He’s going to die. He will not let them take him in. He said as much. I bought my daughter time to say goodbye. That is what marrying you did, okay?”
She nodded, hefting her brows like it was the most selfish thing she’d ever heard in her life, “That’s real nice. I wish someone could have offered me that with Keefe, you know?”
“Fuck, Ro–” I called, as she jerked her hand from mine and stormed inside.
The upstairs light illuminated the backyard a few minutes later and I sighed.
“I told Sean I wasn’t no fuckin’ good at this husband shit,” I grumbled at the pool.
Only the crickets answered me. I figured they were company enough, and brought a few beers out to the patio, giving Ro her space. I didn’t want to fight with that girl. I didn’t have any reason to fight with her. Neither of us chose the ugly details of this situation. We were both parties dragged into this by the dumbass decisions of Menace Zade.
I cracked the first beer open and saluted my ghosts, “I ain’t doin’ this shit again.”
I shook my head, recalling the shouting matches and toxicity that had oozed from every corner of what remained between me and Jolene. I couldn’t have two women on this Earth feeling that way about me. So, I had to figure out how to make this shit work. It seemed simpler with every subsequent beer I emptied, and by the time I passed out I had the whole world figured out.
I didn’t remember any of it when I came to. Shit, I didn’t even remember my name, I just knew that engine was damn close and overly aggressive. It revved a third time before I rounded the fence, but before I could shout, the Viper tore down the street.
“Shit,” I hissed, at the end of the driveway, forcing myself to accept that I’d never catch up with her car on foot.
I made my way inside and grabbed my vest, slinging it on as I hurried back to the garage. I yanked the door open, fully expecting to hop on my bike.
“Goddamn it,” I growled, remembering I’d given the damn thing to Menace.
That van wouldn’t catch her car in a million years, but I didn’t know what the fuck was going on and I hated that feeling. Was she pissed off? Was she going to Sean?
That thought made my heart drop to my gut, even if I didn’t think she could say anything that would hurt me or those I loved.
I climbed into the van and called Henny in a panic as I flew toward his house.
“Hm?” he sleepily murmured.
“Please fucking tell me you’re still in town?”
“Wh–?” he thickly managed, before clearing his throat.
“Great, you were up smoking weed all night,” I guessed.
“Shut up,” he murmured, finally forming words, though his tone was still rumbly with sleep.
“I’m on my way to your house.” I tried to stir him a little faster.
“For what?”
“To pick you up. I need you.”
“You know I’m at the cabin with my daughter. I ain’t even in the county.”
“Fuck.” I hooked a right at the next intersection and huffed, not even knowing where to begin my search.
“What the hell is going on, Zig?”
“She wants your brother punished. I can’t fault her for wanting justice, no one can. I just need my daughter out of the middle of this shit. I need to know she ain’t sent reckless dogs after–”
I closed my eyes at the red light and tried not to lose it.
“Un-fucking-believable,” Henny growled.
“Jesus, Henny!” I snapped, losing the battle with my own temper. I probably looked like a mad man arguing so passionately over the phone at such an ungodly hour. “She’s hurting. It was her brother, you know. Show a little fuckin’ sympathy.”
“It ain’t her place,” Henny growled. “That’s men’s business. She’s your fuckin’ ol’ lady. Never mind that she’s a walking threat to the rest of the club and everyone around you. Put her in line, Zig, or fuckin’ get rid of her.”
“She’s just a girl, Henny!” I roared. “A hurt girl.”
He scoffed, and I didn’t have to see him to know he was shaking his head on the other end of the line. “Yeah. Let’s start there.”
I heard the door slam at his place and the car behind me honked, causing me to jerk against my seatbelt.
“Asshole,” I quietly scoffed, before growing loud again. “What the fuck does that even mean? Hello?”
“She goes to college in Edwardsville, yeah? I’ll meet you there.”
He hung up in my ear and I stared down at the phone I was holding in disbelief.
“Cocksucker,” I grumbled between clenched teeth as I hooked a U-turn and started back for the interstate.
I took the university exit and pulled over just before the campus perimeter to await Henny.
“Thank fuck,” I mumbled when I saw him pull off the interstate thirty minutes later.
I took a deep breath and slid my phone into my pocket, turning my attention where I thought he’d pull up next to me. He shot an arm out in an annoying gesture that was meant to be a question and rolled right on past.
“Fuck.” I started it up and went after him, yelling over the engines once I arrived at his side. “Damn it. Stand down!”
“We ain’t at war.” He shrugged, and that long, blond hair of his fluttered behind him in the wind.
I wanted to snatch him by it, and make him listen, but I’d never do that while we were in motion.
“Not yet–” I wanted to advise him we needed to tread carefully to maintain that peace status, but before I could, he slowed for the stop sign and went on a tangent of his own.
“‘Not yet.’” He nodded, “That’s right. But you just give that bad decision of yours a few hours and half a fuckin’ chance, and I bet you that goes to shit, too.”
We raced to the visitor’s parking lot, where Henny dismounted and started charging toward a three-story building like he came to take down a five-star general rather than a girl who studied gardening.
I was forced to jog a little to keep up with his long-legged pace, “Goddamn it, Henny,” I hissed, grabbing desperately for his upper arm. He brought it up in an effort to avoid me, exposing his flank and something black and shiny in the process. “Would you just stop a fuckin’ minute?”
He jerked away from me, his eyes going wide with warning. It wasn’t like Henny to be so aggressive, but he was under so much stress. The shit with his brother and the business of navigating his daughter through the end-of-life process with her mother, it was all taking its toll.
“Pull your shirt down, someone’s gonna see that thing. You trying to get a whole SWAT team called out here or what, brother?” I hissed, snapping him out of that wild-eyed look immediately.
He glanced to his hip where the butt of his pistol was exposed and jerked his shirt down over it with a curt nod. He whipped back around, starting his march again.
“Damn it, Henny. Take your fuckin’ vest off and leave that shit on the bike, man. You’re drawing–” I growled, realizing he wasn’t slowing any and fell into a trot to keep up.
My phone vibrated and I jerked it from my pocket, pausing as I hoped it was her.
The screen read, Sean.
“Hey!” I called out, after Henny.
He turned, glared at the phone, and finally stopped.
“Sean, I’m trying to find Ro–” Henny took off again and I cursed under my breath.
“She’s probably at the university,” Sean flippantly suggested.
“Yeah. Yeah, we’re here now. Damn it–” I huffed, trying to catch Henny’s attention without drawing any more eyes our way, “It ain’t that building, dumbass. You’re puffed up and making a scene. Would you slow down?”
“How the fuck do you know?” Henny barked back, marching toward me.
Sean sounded well amused from the other end of the line; his laughter barely contained at times.
“Because– It fucking says psychology, bright ass. She studies Horticulture. Plants and shit.
“She’s probably in her dorm,” Sean spoke up, his tone still giddy. “I’m glad she has you two looking out for her. Sounds like a flock of hens over there. Good luck to you lads.”
He hung up in my ear and I shook my head.
“Thanks. Lotta fuckin’ help there, Sean,” I mumbled, defeatedly.
“What?” Henny snapped.
“He said she’s in her dorm, but he didn’t say which one.” I hit redial and tried to pretend like I had a bit of patience to spare.
“Fuck, I got this,” Henny waved, taking out his phone.
I hoped he did, because Sean sure didn’t answer.
“Hey, beautiful,” Henny smiled, and his tone radiated, “How you been?”
I rolled my eyes and huffed.
“Yeah? I was in your neck of the woods with my friend. We were here to pick up his girl and we forgot to get her dorm details. Now we’re just standing out here lookin’ stupid. You think you could help me out?”
I could hear the outrage and occasional curse on the other end of the line as Henny was called a liar, a player, and everything else under the sun. He playfully laughed and reassured her with the performance of a lifetime.
“I did not. Babe– I did not call you to get directions to another bitch’s place. I told you. I’m here with Zig.”
“Where?” I cringed as the possessive question was screamed at him.
Henny’s brows rose and he moved to hang up the phone.
“Don’t you dare,” I hissed, causing his jaw to set.
“Fuckin’ hell. We’re in the square!” he barked, before hanging up on her and glaring at me. “Ooh. I hate her. Not as much as I hate you right now, but I swear to God–”
I laughed and nodded, “I know. I appreciate it, though.”
“Mhm.” He groaned, before fixing that one good eye on some passing ass.
“Just be cool. Entertain it long enough to get me the address. I’m beggin’.”
I’d never seen a chick bust Henny’s balls. It was a little humorous, and any other time, I might have enjoyed stirring the pot a little, if I didn’t have so much going on myself.
Five minutes later, a scrawny thing with fancy nails and lined, green eyes descended upon us.
“I know you meant to come see me after you tracked down his girl.” She folded her arms and dramatically sulked.
Henny sighed, and started to glance away, but I cut him a look and he pulled that flirty smile right out of his ass.
“Where you think I was headed after I get him settled?”
He even managed the dimples. She slinked forward, reached up for his neck and laid one on him right there in the square. My mouth twitched and I tried to focus on the geese creating havoc by the pond.
“Who’s the lucky girl?” She purred, and I realized she was lookin’ at me.
“Roisin Nash, uh used to be–”
“Kilbride,” she guessed.
“You know her?” I was a little surprised, it was a big campus.
“You know many women named Roisin?” the tart asked, before taking Henny’s hand and starting along a path.
I followed them, almost convinced she was taking us on a wild chase, until she paused near the edge of a wooded area and pointed to a building ahead.
“Elevator is just to the inside of the door. Second floor, third door on the right is Roisin. I think it’s dorm number two hundred and three.
“Great.” I nodded.
“Come on,” Henny reached for her hand again.
“Nuh-uh.” The tart shook her head, “I already know. She’s up there with them dope boys. I don’t need no part in all that. I have a scholarship to think about.”
“What the fuck you mean ‘dope boys?’” I stared at her.
She looked me up and down, held her hand out and sauntered away.
“I’ll be waiting, handsome,” she cooed over her shoulder at Henny.
She wasn’t gonna have long to wait. I was marching toward that dorm building the same way Henny dismounted earlier, like I was ready to take on a whole goddamned army!