CHAPTER 2
I should be wondering what the hell I was doing, yet I wasn’t going to ask that question of myself. I wasn’t going to question this. For once, I would think of myself and do what I wanted.
Damn the consequences.
“The number of thoughts running over your face right now could tell a story. Or maybe it’s a whole novel,” Riggs observed as he came to me with a glass in hand. I looked down at the golden liquid in the lowball glass, then up at him.
“Honey whiskey?”
“You know it.”
Riggs sat next to me on his couch, and I let out a hushed breath, wondering how the hell I was here. I wasn’t some young kid. I had been on dates before. I had slept with a man before.
It didn’t mean that I knew what the fuck I was doing now, though.
“Cheers.”
Riggs held up his glass, and I touched mine to his before taking a sip of my whiskey. The sweet taste slid over my tongue, and I swallowed, wondering if I should just toss the rest back.
“Don’t you dare do it like a tequila shot,” Riggs stated with a laugh.
I winced, then held back a laugh at what Riggs was referring to. The Montgomerys in Fort Collins loved their tequila and were damn good with it. “You know I like tequila as much as the next guy, but those Montgomerys sure can drink it.”
Riggs snorted. “It’s a little scary, to be honest. And none of them are assholes about it.
They can do shots without lime or even making that weird face, and then let their designated driver or rideshare take them home.
There’s no fighting. There’s no random backslapping or dancing on tabletops.
They can handle their tequila. Just like I know you can handle your whiskey. ”
Riggs took another sip of his, and I did my best not to watch his throat work as he swallowed. It was hard to think with him right there.
With me right here.
He was so close, and I still couldn’t believe I was here in his house. I wasn’t at home dealing with homework, picking up backpacks or shoes, or tucking in a kid for the evening.
When was the last time I’d had an evening just for myself?
The fact that I had to ask that told me I should have thought about it long ago.
“Now you’re thinking about the kids. I see the guilt all over your face. They are with Storm and Everly, right?” Riggs asked.
I nodded, taking another sip of the whiskey. “Yeah. Every once in a while, Everly kidnaps the kids and takes them to her house with their kids. They have a huge sleepover party despite the age differences between some of them, and I don’t get a say.”
Riggs nodded, a smile playing on his face. “If I remember right, aren’t her oldest two technically siblings with your cousins?”
I winced. “Yes. My cousins share a father with the twins. Not that anyone outside of their dad and my aunt knew that until a couple of years ago.”
Riggs shook his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring it all up.”
I shrugged, downing the rest of my glass.
I set it on the table and let out a breath.
“It’s life. Honestly, it’s old news at this point.
It’s been a couple of years, and the kids and I are figuring out a routine.
Though as they get older, I think I’m spending more time in the car dropping them off at places than I am actually at home with them. ”
Riggs’ lips twitched as he shook his head. “I still don’t know how you do it.”
“I’d say dark magic and alchemy, but I’m not a hundred percent sure how I do it, either.”
“I’m glad you have the support system, though,” Riggs added. “And I’m really happy you finally said yes to coming home with me.” He winked as he said it, but something in his tone said he was hiding from something, just like I was. Or maybe, once again, I read too much into it.
I licked my lips, watching how his eyes followed the motion. “I figured it was time I did something for myself.”
“As someone who is getting the better end of the deal here, I salute you.” Riggs drained the rest of his drink and set the glass next to mine.
“I still think it’s odd that the Montgomerys don’t know that we know each other,” I said, frowning.
Riggs moved closer to me then, his knee barely an inch from mine on the couch. We were facing each other, both sitting sideways. If I wanted to, I could reach out and brush my fingers across his jaw. I didn’t, though. Not yet. I needed a minute. I had to remember how to do this part.
Riggs had danced with me, had his hands all over me, and yet, I needed to think. I wasn’t good at thinking when it came to him.
“We were in high school,” he said. “I still can’t believe you let me kiss you back then.”
I snorted, remembering. “We did a lot more than kiss.”
“True. It’s nice knowing that the guy you lost your virginity to isn’t an all-around asshole, yet you’re here and not a hot mess or a douche.”
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “Yeah, well, I could say the same about you. I still don’t know how we didn’t get caught.”
“Doing what we did behind the bleachers at the football field was probably an idiotic thing to do. However, it was nice under the moonlight.”
“And trying to figure out exactly what the fuck we were doing that had nothing to do with porn was a blast. Wasn’t that a memory?” I asked, laughing.
“True. Yet we got the job done.”
My groin tightened as I thought about exactly how he had gotten that job done, and I sighed. “Eventually.”
“I have better moves now. Just letting you know.”
I snorted. “Good line there.”
“Why don’t the Montgomerys know that you and I slept together in high school?” Riggs asked.
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “Even though I brought it up, it’s really an easy answer. It’s because they don’t know who I sleep with. I mean, the only reason I know who has slept with who out of that group is that they’re all ending up married or having kids. Sometimes both.”
“They’re not going to have a problem with you and me? When they find out? Because they’re smart. They’re going to know.”
I blinked, confused. “Nearly every Montgomery is queer, Riggs. They’re not going to have a problem with the fact that I’m bi. They know.”
“I just wanted to be sure. They’re your friends, your bosses. Your team. I don’t want to be the asshole who fucks that up.”
I bent forward and frowned. We were close then, so close I only needed to lean a bit more, and my lips would be on his. First, though, I needed to breathe.
“They’re not going to have a problem with you, Riggs.
I don’t have a problem with you. The only reason I haven’t done this before now is that I didn’t have time.
I seriously don’t have the energy for anything but my kids and my job.
Going to the bar like I do is once in a blue moon if the stars align—or any other metaphor and saying you want to add in. ”
Riggs tilted his head as he looked at me, his gaze moving to my lips. “Meaning, it’s just tonight.”
Something struck me then, a twist deep inside, but I told myself it was nothing. I couldn’t feel remorse about this. Or guilt. I could just be. “It has to be, Riggs. I’ve got three kids at home. And a job I’m trying to grow with. I won’t have much free time at all. Ever.”
He reached out and traced his finger along the stubble on my jaw. “Okay, then. I don’t mind being your distraction for the night.”
That made me laugh softly, a chuckle rumbling in my throat. “You’re always a distraction, Riggs. I think you like that.”
His lips quirked into a smile, and then they were pressed to mine.
All I could do was try not to hold back yet not give in too much.
He tasted of whiskey and Riggs. Different than before, yet almost familiar.
As if we were falling into who we had once been even while we weren’t those people anymore.
It was a memory, a ghost of the past, but then I wasn’t thinking much about that.
All I could do was lean forward and tangle my tongue with his, gently exploring his mouth as he groaned.
“You taste damn good.”
I looked up at him, gazed into those whiskey eyes after that whiskey taste. “I was thinking the same about you.”
“You good with me continuing this?”
“I think if you don’t keep kissing me and don’t get your hands on me, I’m going to wonder why the hell I came over here tonight.”
Riggs grinned. “I always knew you were the dominant one in this situation. Not just me.”
I rolled my eyes and then leaned forward again, pressing his back to the couch as I deepened the kiss. He groaned, his hands moving from my shoulders to my waist. He squeezed lightly, the sensation hardening my cock even more.
“Get closer,” he mumbled against my lips, and I moved to straddle him. I wasn’t a small man, but neither was Riggs. His thighs were thick and hard with muscle. I wrapped my legs around him, kneeling as he sat me on top of him. We both groaned as I placed my ass over the hard line of his cock.
“Jesus,” he grumbled against me. I grinned, needing more. I always fucking needed more when it came to him. And that was the problem. Had always been the issue.
Before, when we’d tried to figure out who we were to each other, things had ended easily because we’d needed it to be. After we parted ways, we’d gone to different schools, had different lives, and drifted apart. We hadn’t fought. There was no big blow-up that ended things. It just hadn’t happened.
Now, I was supposed to act as if this wasn’t who we used to be? I pushed those thoughts from my mind, knowing that it wouldn’t help anyone. I just needed to be—and I needed to remember that.
I pulled back as Riggs bit my lip, his eyes narrowing. “Your mind is somewhere it shouldn’t be. Be with me.”
“You make it difficult.” I let out a rough chuckle.
“Maybe. It’s just us right now. No one else. That might be hard. A hard idea. But we’re fine. You and me. We’ll figure it out.”