CHAPTER 7
Clay
I had been to my fair share of Montgomery family dinners, but this one was my first one bringing a date.
Not that I was the one bringing Riggs since Archer had invited him.
Nonetheless, here I was, standing in Russell and Pamela Montgomery’s living room, surrounded by other Montgomerys, their spouses, their significant others, and my three kids.
I looked over at Riggs, his eyes wide, and we both swallowed hard.
“How did I end up here again?” Riggs asked, and I shook my head.
“I don’t know. But I feel like you only have yourself to blame for this one. You could have said you were working.”
“Lie to Archer? Have you met the man? He knows all. I’m pretty sure he learned it from his mother.” We were talking out of the sides of our mouths. At this point, both of us were trying not to draw attention to each other. As if we were afraid of what would happen if we did.
And, frankly, I was afraid. I loved this family. They felt like mine, but they scared me.
Not that they would ever hurt me or shame me or make me feel insignificant, but because they could ferret answers out of an unsuspecting victim even better than the CIA.
There was no waterboarding. No, they’d entice you with a cheese plate, and you’d suddenly find yourself sitting next to them, explaining your entire life story as they nodded along and helped you plan your path and enrich your life—all the while setting you up with your dream person.
Not that Riggs was my dream person. I couldn’t let him be.
As I had told him and myself countless times, I did not have time for a dream person.
“Why are you over here sulking?” Paige asked as she came up to us, a frown between her brows.
I swallowed hard and pressed closer to Riggs. He looked down at me and brushed his fingers along mine as his lips quirked into a smile.
“We’re not sulking,” I corrected, and Paige just smiled.
“Whatever you say. The sooner you come over and talk with my parents, the sooner this will all be over, and you can leave and hide and never come to another Montgomery function again if you don’t want to.”
The statement was so unlike Paige that both Riggs and I met gazes, confused. She smiled, laughed, and mainly said all the right things, but Paige Montgomery wasn’t happy, and I only had an inkling of why.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Paige asked, her voice low.
I shook my head and pasted a smile on my face. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Riggs do the same. Look at us, already acting like a couple, even though I wasn’t sure what we could call ourselves.
“I came here for the cheese. I’m not quite sure what you’re talking about,” Riggs replied and winked.
I liked that wink. There was something seriously wrong with me.
“Well, you are at a Montgomery function. There’s going to be a lot of cheese. Don’t eat too much of it in front of Annabelle, or she will gut you.”
“Right, pregnant women can’t have soft cheeses?” I asked, wincing.
“Exactly. And she’ll hurt you. The same with Brenna.”
Paige looked off into the distance. “I’m not even going to eat cheese in front of them just in case. They’ll hurt me, and I quite like my face.”
“Don’t want to have it rearranged?” I asked, teasing.
“I’m off to go eat in private, without Annabelle’s gaze. Though she is truly dangerous and probably already knows what I’m doing.” She grinned, though it didn’t reach her eyes, and then she scampered off.
We stood off to the side, my eagle eye on the kids even as they played with Jacob and the senior Montgomerys. They had some form of wooden block game going that I didn’t recognize, but it looked old. Probably a family heirloom.
That made my gut clench because I didn’t have those. Not really. You couldn’t when your life took drastic and dramatic turns over and over again.
Riggs squeezed my hand, and I looked up at him. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Just thinking about family. And how things change.”
He nodded, his gaze intense and on mine. “I know what you mean. Things change on a dime, especially when you’re not expecting it.”
“I still can’t believe your ex-husband is doing what he is.”
“He’s an asshole. That’s what he does. Honestly, I don’t want to talk about him right now. I know I probably should, but my lawyers and Jacob are working on it. It’s not going to court. I don’t think it can. I’m tired.”
“I know all about being tired.”
Riggs snorted and looked over at the kids. “I would expect you do.”
“I mean, I love them, but they are ridiculous.”
“I think they’re supposed to be. That’s the whole point.”
I cleared my throat, remembering a certain conversation I’d had in my newly fixed car. “Anyway, on my way here, Jackson asked me if you and I were dating.”
I held back a wince as I said it, as Riggs’ eyes widened. “And? What did you tell him?”
“Who said I told him anything?” I asked.
“Because even if you don’t have the technical title, you’re still their dad. You’re not going to lie to them outright.”
“And what? Me telling them we’re not dating would be a lie?” I asked, leaning forward.
Riggs swallowed hard, and I did my best not to lean any closer. People were watching. Even if it didn’t look like it, everybody was always watching. Out of love and care, but we were not alone.
“What did you tell him?” Riggs asked, his voice low.
“I said you were my friend. And we are. So that wasn’t a lie.”
Disappointment shone in his eyes, and I wanted to reach out and cup his face, though I didn’t. Only barely.
“We haven’t had a talk yet, so I couldn’t tell him more. How was that for an answer?” I asked wryly.
“What are you guys being so serious about over here?” Eliza asked as she walked up, Annabelle and Brenna at her sides.
“Just the normal things,” I teased as I hugged Annabelle close. “Shouldn’t you’d be sitting?” I looked over at Brenna, the same question in my gaze, and both women rolled their eyes.
“I swear, all of you men, even those without the Montgomery surname, just can’t help but be overprotective with me.”
“You’re pregnant. It’s what we do,” I replied as I kissed the top of her head.
Riggs beamed. “Seriously, though, you look gorgeous.”
Jacob looked across the room, a mock scowl on his face. “Watch it, Riggs. That’s my wife you’re talking about.”
“All I did was call her gorgeous. It’s quite clear that she’s taken.” Riggs winked.
“And you’re taken, too,” Archer teased.
Benjamin slapped him upside the head playfully. “Really?”
“What? I can’t help it. I like to meddle. It’s what I do.”
“Go meddle in your own drama. Speaking of drama and meddling, where is Marc?” Benjamin asked as he leaned towards Archer.
Archer shrugged, a smile still on his face that didn’t look forced, but I wasn’t sure. “At work. Emergency meeting. We thought it might happen, so it’s not that much of an emergency, more like a well-timed annoyance. Now my RSVP is only one.”
“Do you RSVP to Montgomery bashes? Or do you just show up and be welcomed?” I asked, taking the spotlight off Archer. I might not like the attention on me today, but Archer didn’t seem to be in the mood, either.
After all, we all had our secrets.
“You know, once a Montgomery, always a Montgomery. And they’re always welcome, even if we don’t turn on the porch light,” the matriarch of the family said as she leaned into her husband’s side.
“That’s what I love about our family. All of our family,” she said as she gave her husband a pointed look.
He raised his hands in the air and shook his head. “You’re right. We are always welcome at your family’s dinner table.” He paused. “Just like every Montgomery outside of this house is always welcome here.”
I reached out and gripped Riggs’ shoulder, telling myself that I wasn’t going to cry or make a big deal out of it.
Archer’s eyes filled as Annabelle legit started crying and leaned into Jacob.
Brenna and Eliza gripped hands while Benjamin and Beckett looked at each other and grinned. Riggs gave me a weird look.
“I’ll explain later,” I whispered, doing my best to make it so no one but him could hear me.
Of course, it seemed I’d forgotten about the kids.
“What’s wrong?” Mariah asked as she went to sit in Archer’s lap.
She patted his cheeks. “Are you okay? Don’t cry.
I love you.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly as Jackson and Holden went to the girls.
They hugged all four women, and everybody started laughing, hugging each other back, a few tears dashed along the way.
I grinned, looked at Riggs, and simply shrugged, not knowing what to say.
Riggs shook his head. “You know, your kids are pretty great.”
I smiled. “Yeah, they are.”
“I’m glad I’m here. That I was invited.”
“I am, too.”
Mrs. Montgomery cleared her throat. “Clay, why don’t you go show Riggs the new deck we put on last summer break while I get these kids all cleaned up for dinner? Our meal will be served in fifteen minutes.”
Everybody scrambled up, and Riggs just beamed, tugging me out to the back porch. “Didn’t they already show you the deck?” I asked cautiously.
Riggs rolled his eyes. “Of course, they did. She’s giving us time to be alone and being sneaky about it.”
I laughed outright. “There’s nothing sneaky about what just happened.”
“True. But she can’t help it. Neither can I.”
We stood alone on the corner of the deck where nobody could see us. It was odd, as it felt like I hadn’t been alone with Riggs since our night together. My cock pressed against my zipper, and I swallowed hard.
Riggs looked at me with those whiskey-colored eyes and leaned down, brushing a kiss against my lips.
“Hi,” he whispered.
I kissed him back softly before I took a step away, needing to breathe. “Hi. It’s tough to think with you around. And I cannot get a hard-on in front of the Montgomerys.”
Riggs shrugged, adjusting himself. “True. Let’s think about something that’s not us getting naked.”
I raised my brows. “Seriously?”
“What? I can’t help it.”
“You’re an asshole.”
“I am, but I’m sure you don’t mind. I’m glad that they invited me here. It’s nice. Sort of normal in a not-normal sort of way. And there are a lot of people in there.”
“Just wait until everybody starts giving birth. Or if any of the other family members show up. It gets a little rowdy.”
Riggs looked off into the distance, his shoulder pressing into mine. “I like it, though. I’m just me. You know? I don’t have that big family.”
My heart hurt for him. I understood his plight all too well. “I think the Montgomerys just adopted you, so you can’t say that anymore.”
“You know, while I’m a nice friend of the family because of my bar and how the Montgomerys like to come to visit, I think you’re the reason I’m here today.”
“Yeah?” I asked, my breath getting a little choppy.
“They wanted me here so they could see what’s going on between us.”
“And? What is going on between us, Riggs?” I swallowed hard, my palms going damp.
“Hell if I know. But I think I like it.”
I shook my head and laughed. “I have three kids, Riggs. I can’t just go off into the unknown.”
And that was the crux of it. Why this was a mistake. Only I did not want it to be one.
Riggs studied my face before he seemed to come to a decision. “You’re right. I don’t know if we can do labels, but if you want, I can make one up for us.”
“A label?”
“Whatever you want. However, I like being with you, Clay. I like seeing you smile and trying to make you smile even more. I like your kids, damn it.”
My eyes widened. “What?”
“I like your kids. Because one day that little girl of yours is going to rule this world, with Holden at her side, and Jackson as the knight of protection or whatever the hell it’s called. They’re amazing kids, and I know you’re a lot of the reason for that.”
I blinked back tears, surprising myself. “You saw all of that. With just one night.”
“And today. And every time you talk about them. They’re good kids. I know this is complicated, and I know we technically haven’t been on a date, yet I feel like you’re mine. And I don’t know what to do with that.”
My heart raced, and I swallowed hard. “That’s what I was thinking, but I don’t know what happens next or what I should be feeling. I like you, Riggs. You’re right. We haven’t been on a date.”
“We aren’t the usual suspects. I work over sixty hours a week most of the time, and you work a full-time job.
And those three kids are more than a full-time job.
You’re making do, and you’re doing a kickass job of it.
But what would you say if you and I figured out how to date our own way?
Not dinner and candlelight, but family barbecues and stolen moments? ”
I wanted to. I wanted that so badly. But I didn’t know what I was supposed to say.
Then Riggs leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine.
“You don’t have to call yourself my boyfriend.
That seems like a big label. But I’d like to see you.
At the bar when I’m working, or me coming over for a family dinner one night while the kids are doing homework.
We can just hang out and watch a movie when they go to bed.
I don’t know, Clay. I’ve never dated someone with a kid before. ”
“I haven’t dated since I got the kids,” I blurted.
Riggs’ eyes widened. “Seriously? It’s been over two years, Clay.”
“I know. Tell me about it.” I ran my hands through my hair.
“You’re the first guy since...” I let my voice trail off, and Riggs coughed, realization setting in.
I’d been with women in the time since, but Riggs was the only man I’d ever been with.
My life was beyond complicated, and things had never worked out.
Maybe Riggs had always been in the back of my mind—not that I’d ever let myself think too hard on that.
“Well, then. I’d like to say I’m honored. Though I’d rather be honored a few more times.”
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “You’re ridiculous.”
“I am, but then so are you. And I like you, Clay. I keep telling myself that I have too much baggage, but then you do, too. And what if we help each other carry it? And that’s not a euphemism for our dicks.”
I burst out laughing and shook my head, falling hard for this man far too quickly for my own good. “So, we date on our terms?”
“Our terms. Whatever that may be. Even if it doesn’t always turn out the way we want it to. Let’s just figure it out. Because we keep ending up in each other’s orbits, and I kind of want to stay.”
I swallowed hard, reached out, and finally cupped his face like I wanted to. He leaned into the hold, and then I kissed him softly. “Okay. Let’s try. If it gets stirred up, we walk away without hurting each other, with no promises. Because I don’t want to hurt you.”
“And I don’t want to hurt you or those kids. So, we figure it out. You and me.”
And then he kissed me again, even as I heard the Montgomerys coming closer. I had to hope that maybe I could actually have hope.
For the first time in forever.