24. Benji
BENJI
THE END OF ORANGE SEASON
I was never the type to run from problems, or from anything really. Why should I? I had a mouth and two fists, and beating the crap out of whatever got in my way was more my style.
This time, my fists wouldn’t help.
My mouth could scream itself raw, and it still wouldn’t change the fact that in less than six weeks, the only person I’ve ever fallen in love with would move so far away that my life would go through another drastic change again.
One summer was all we got—three months to build a connection that might outlive a distance I’ve never seen anyone pull off.
I swear, on my mother’s health, I wanted to spend every waking minute with Sam, while he was still in Red Creek, so he wouldn’t forget me when he went off to see the world, meet new people, probably more guys like us, guys that could offer him a better future than me because they were getting degrees, too.
If it were physically possible, I would’ve beaten myself up for even thinking that—but thoughts weren’t something I could rive my fists into to make them stop haunting me.
The only thing that helped was being with Sam. Then I could relax, at least as much as you can around someone you know won’t be with you much longer.
That was why the end of orange season hit me harder than usual.
For years, I'd looked forward to it because the Farleys always threw a little feast at the end—nothing big, just a get-together with some food that wrapped up in an hour tops. Today, it felt like I was invited to a funeral. Sure, Sam would keep working at the farm until he left, but he’d go back to the store, while I moved on to the corn fields behind my house.
And as if only seeing Sam in the evenings from now on wasn’t bad enough, today, of all days, Brandon—that bozo who injured himself six weeks ago—had to show up again.
For the last day. Purely by chance, of course.
The free food certainly had nothing to do with it.
He hobbled in this morning, still wearing a black contraption around his right leg that screamed he shouldn’t have come back yet.
Guess who got paired with him, in case he needed help out there? Your’s truly. Apparently, being the guy who caught him mid-fall and dragged him to safety now meant I was the strongest, fastest, and most capable babysitter on staff. Lucky me.
It didn’t even hit me till later that my last day working beside Sam in the orchard had already passed. No more stolen glances, no more sneaked kisses on our breaks, no chance to savor it properly. Nothing. Fuck.
Even so, I surprised myself. I swallowed it down, moved through the rows, letting the rhythm of the work steady me. Brandon limped, not making any effort to look productive, but I didn’t let it bother me. I simply did my job and held on to the thought of seeing Sam later.
When I came back, the barn was redecorated.
Foldable Tables and benches were lined up, and a small buffet waited by the double doors, making the older guys already lick their lips.
I searched for Sam and found him at the sink, washing his hands.
I wove past our coworkers, my heart beating a hundred times faster, and when he spotted me, he flashed out that fat grin that always made my chest feel light.
“Did you know about this?” he asked.
“Yeah. But it’ll be over before you know it. And it’s not obligatory. If you need to, we can leave already.” I leaned in, so no one else could hear what I was about to say. “Like when you want to sneak away to make out with someone, for example.”
I didn’t wait for a comeback, knowing Sam would get what I had in mind.
Instead, I slipped toward the locker room, betting the buffet would hold everyone's attention long enough to give us a hot minute alone.
A glance over my shoulder told me I was right; Sam strolled after me, lips pulled into his mouth, biting down a grin that gave away exactly how well he understood.
The laughter and chatter dulled as we pushed through the narrow corridor into the small backroom, where everyone kept their stuff. There was no door, but the line of lockers down the center of the room offered enough cover. As long as we stayed behind them, no one would see a thing.
The second we were out of sight, I pressed my mouth to his and wrapped my hands around his back, hauling him closer until our hips settled against each other.
I couldn’t hold back anything. I yearned for every kiss I could get. If I had to give them up soon, I wanted this moment to be the one I replayed inside my head with a nostalgic smile.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I couldn’t stop thinking about doing this while I was out in the orchard. It’s the only thing that kept me sane.”
He tightened his grip around my waist and pulled me into another kiss, taking charge. I breathed him in, welcoming every Sam-molecule that reached my nose. After all this time, I still couldn’t get over how good he smelled, even after a whole day in the sun.
We finally let go of each other, not because we wanted to, but because a burst of laughter from the barn reminded us of where we were and jolted us apart.
“This was unexpected,” Sam said softly, stepping back, drawing his lips in as if he was savoring the taste. “And a little reckless. What if anyone saw us?”
“They didn’t, though,” I said, shrugging it off. Maybe I’d gone a little overboard, but I didn’t care. People talked shit anyway, I might as well enjoy the fun side of the rumors. I walked to my locker, yanked it open, and stripped off my dirty shirt.
Sam dropped onto the squeaky bench at the wall and watched while I put on a clean white tank top and a light blue button-down shirt. His eyes tracked every move, and I couldn’t deny I liked the way he looked at me.
“Did Mr. Farley talk to you about going back to the store already?”
“Only that it’s happening Monday, nothing more. I guess I’ll have to tell him that I’m leaving soon.”
“Nah. Two weeks’ notice. Anything more is not necessary. I doubt he’d throw you out early, but you’ll never know.”
“I don’t know, maybe you’re right,” Sam sighed, tipping his head against the wall. “I wanted to get back to that store so badly in the beginning, and now I dread it.”
“Why?”
“Because we won’t see each other during the day anymore.”
“Try to look at it like practice for...” I wanted to be helpful, but the words stuck in my throat. I couldn’t say it out loud. “I’m going to miss you out there.”
“I’m missing it already.”
“But, honestly, it’s better if you go back to the store. Corn season isn’t for you. Lots of heavy machinery. Lots of chances to get hurt.”
“Haven’t I proven I’m not that weak these last weeks?”
“You have. You’re one of the strongest people I've ever met.” I finished the last button and walked toward him, leaned down, and grabbed his chin. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
We kissed again, but before our lips could fully give themselves to each other, approaching footsteps cut in. I jumped back to my locker. Sam crossed his legs and arms and stared out the small window on the opposite wall.
“Ben?” Gordy called, still out of sight.
“Yeah, I’m here.”
“Dad wants to say a few words and asked me to get you.” He rounded the corner and frowned when he saw that Sam was there, too.
“I just need a moment. I’m almost done,” I said, assuming that would send Gordy off. It didn’t. Instead, he stayed, his eyes ping-ponging between us like he’d decided our being here together wasn’t a coincidence.
“Are you going to watch me change?” I asked, hoping that would do the trick.
“What does one more person matter?” Gordy stared past me at Sam, his look basically telling him to leave. There was a flicker of satisfaction in his eyes, like he enjoyed seeing Sam tense. But I didn’t. And I’d sworn I'd step in when that happened.
I set my palm flat on my locker door and yanked the metal into its case, the bang startling them both.
“What are you implying with that?” I asked, keeping my voice low but stern.
Sam pushed himself up. “I’ll leave you two alone?—”
“It’s okay,” I said, lifting my hand. He froze, and I stepped in front of him to show him I had his back on this.
“So?” I said, fixing my gaze on Gordy.
“It was just a joke.” Gordy laughed, jutting his head forward. “Why are you so uptight lately?”
We stared each other down, the muscles in my neck tightening. Gordy’s grin widened, like he was waiting for me to crack. Then, with a sudden lunge, he hooked me into a headlock, laughing, like this was nothing more than the usual roughhousing.
I wrapped my arms around his waist and tried to slip free, but as he yanked his elbow between my shoulder blades, we both toppled forward. He rolled onto his back, and I landed on top of him, his chuckles still going.
“Stop it,” I growled.
He snorted like he was about to laugh again, but the sound died in his throat. His grin flattened. “Wait. Are you serious?”
“I’m not in the mood. And I just put on a fresh shirt. I don’t wanna get dirt all over it again.” I let him go and got back to my feet.
His gaze flicked to Sam and then back at me. “You’ve changed, man.”
“Maybe I just grew up faster than you.”
“What is wrong with you?” Gordy got back up on his feet, his clothes now all wrinkled, his arms hanging down like he didn’t know what to do with them anymore.
“I don’t recognize you anymore. We haven’t hung out in weeks.
Whenever I text you, I have to wait hours for a reply, and every day, you ask to work with that guy instead of me.
” He glared at Sam. “I thought you hated him.”
Those words ripped through me like lightning splitting a tree.
My eyes darted to Sam, who already knew the truth about the stupid prank, the shameful start of where we were now.
I’d worked so hard to leave it behind, and the last thing I wanted was to see Gordy use it against us.
I could only hope hearing it again wouldn’t reopen old wounds.