Chapter 19
“I’m a middle-aged woman who’s fucked up every meaningful relationship I’ve ever had in my life,” Justine said. “So yes, you should be very careful.”
“That’s exactly why I can’t resist you,” Sienna said.
“We’re definitely putting the ‘fun’ in dysfunctional,” Justine replied.
Sienna snickered because it was funny and true—and what else was she going to do? But she stubbornly refused to believe that she was setting herself up for a fall with Justine. For all the verbal warnings Justine had given about her personality and her track record of failed relationships, she hadn’t acted like that with Sienna at all—and actions spoke so much louder than words.
Justine kept turning up, kept returning her calls, kept initiating hookups herself. They were in the early stages of a relationship and it was quite obvious that it was exactly where they both wanted to be.
“Maybe I should introduce you to my dad as my lover one of these days, now that he’s in town and apparently very eager to spend time with me. He even told me that he was fascinated by you.”
“Fascinated? What does that mean?”
“You must have impressed him when you talked to him on the phone after his donation.” Sienna could easily see why. So much about Justine was impressive and, unlike so many people in this city, she wasn’t all talk. She literally changed young people’s lives.
Justine just shrugged. She seemed completely immune to any kind of compliment—unlike to cold hard cash in the shelter’s bank account.
“By the way,” Sienna said. “My mom and sister already know about you.”
“What?” Justine did a double take. “Seriously?”
“We’re very close on that side of the family.” Sienna grinned. “So I told them I was hooking up with a middle-aged white lady.”
“What did your mom say?” Worry crossed Justine’s face.
“Relax.” Sienna wasn’t sure if she should share with Justine what she’d told her mom and Taissa—that it wasn’t serious. “My mom’s chill. And I’m thirty-six so more than old enough to make my own choices.” She’d make sure they didn’t visit the set on a day that Justine was there, which shouldn’t be too hard since Justine had claimed she wouldn’t visit anymore—although Sienna didn’t believe a word of that.
“But still,” was all Justine added.
“Don’t worry about it.” Sienna considered that, when she saw her family next, she might have to retract some of the things she’d said about Justine, because it was already so much more than what she’d made them believe. It was getting serious. “Hey, um…” Sienna pushed herself against Justine’s warm, comforting body. “Alexis and I are doing an intimate scene tomorrow.” Sienna looked Justine in the eye. “I’m literally getting it on with you tomorrow.”
“Oh, god.” Justine shook her head.
“I think I need to get in some more practice.”
“This fucking movie,” Justine said on a sigh, although her tone of voice was anything but annoyed. “I was led to believe the intimate scene was fade to black. Did the script change?”
“Scripts change all the time.” The script hadn’t changed that much regarding this particular scene, but it was too delightful to rile Justine up like this. “Although I can assure you that the movie version will never be as sexy as being in bed with the real Justine Blackburn.”
“Ah, so you think I’m sexy, huh? Does that mean you’re into fifty-something white ladies?”
“Not usually,” Sienna blurted out. “But I’m so into you. You have no idea.”
“I have a pretty good idea.” Justine pushed one of Sienna’s braids away from her face. “So much so, in fact, that I’d like to invite you to something this weekend.”
“As your date?” Sienna’s blood suddenly seemed to tingle in her veins.
“It’s not really a date kind of situation.” Justine smiled apologetically. “We’re hosting a drag benefit for the shelter on Saturday. I’d love it if you could come. If you don’t have any other plans, of course. I know it’s short notice.”
“I’ll happily rearrange whatever I’ve got going on. What’s your role? Are you dressing up?”
“Me?” Justine chuckled. “No, but a few of the kids are. We’ve been doing some drag workshops. It’s not all doom and gloom at the shelter.” The smile that broke on Justine’s face could only come from a place of deep joy. “If you want to make a surprise drag king appearance, you’re very welcome, of course.”
“How about I just show up?” Sienna studied Justine’s face. “Should I bring some friends or is it too soon for that?”
“Too soon for what?” Justine grinned. Playing innocent was not her forte.
“If I bring my friends, I’ll want to introduce you.”
“We’re pretty much sold out.” Justine was still grinning, though. “But we always have a few spare tickets for VIPs. You can bring a friend or two.”
“Maybe Alexis and my sister?”
“You want to tell Alexis about us?” Justine’s eyebrows arched up.
“Maybe. Yeah.” Sienna hadn’t given it a lot of thought. She was just going with the flow, but now that they’d started shooting, and she and Justine were still hooking up, and even kind of dating, telling Alexis, the actor playing Justine, was the only right thing to do—mostly because keeping it from her felt wrong. “I think I should.”
“I don’t know how things work on a movie set,” Justine said, “or what it’s like to do what you do. To act like you’re someone else opposite another person.”
“Even though it’s called acting, truth is at the heart of it. For that reason alone, I think I should tell her.” Sienna found Justine’s hand under the covers. “I wasn’t really sure before, but now I’m starting to believe there’s actually something to tell.”
“In that case, I should probably have another conversation with Rochelle.” Justine squeezed Sienna’s hand. “For some insane reason, I don’t even mind.” She gazed into Sienna’s eyes—Sienna gazed back, ready to drown in Justine’s bright-blue eyes. A wave of happiness rolled over her. It had all started so casually, yet here they lay, only a few weeks later, completely besotted with each other.
“Now, about practicing for my scene tomorrow.” Sienna inched her face closer to Justine’s. “It’s mainly a lot of kissing.”
“You don’t need any practice in that department,” Justine said, bridging the last of the distance between them. “You’re already the best.”
Justine hadn’t come to the set anymore that week, yet she and Sienna had spent a lot of time together. Even tonight, the Friday before the shelter’s drag benefit, Justine had magically found time to come to Sienna’s place—she really seemed to like it there.
“I always thought actors hated watching movies they were in,” Justine said while she waited on the popcorn in the microwave.
“I sat through so many of my dad’s movies when I was younger, with him right next to me,” Sienna said. “It’s not an affliction actors in the Bright family suffer from.” Earlier that week, Justine had admitted she hadn’t seen a single movie Sienna was in. Hence, their movie date night.
“I like that about you.” Justine stood there grinning, looking sexy again in her cheap clothes and disheveled hair. For Sienna, the fact that she didn’t give a damn about what she looked like, or what anyone thought about her for that matter, contributed greatly to how hot she actually was. “That you love watching yourself.”
“You don’t think it’s vain?” Sienna walked over to Justine, as if drawn to her by an invisible string.
“It’s what you do. It’s your job as well as your art. It’s such an important part of you, so no. In my opinion, vanity has very little to do with it.”
“I value your opinion greatly.” Acting wasn’t just Sienna’s job—it was her calling.
She might not be close to her father, but he had given her a passion for this strange profession from a young age—and thus he had given her one of the most important things in her life. He had led by example and Bobby Bright might have been a pretty absent—and not very good—parent, but he was one hell of an actor.
“My dad taught me how much I can learn from watching myself. I have to see my performance for myself. I can’t trust anyone else to tell me how I did.” Her father was the only person she did trust 100% when it came to critiquing her work. She knew that, at the very least, he was always honest about that.
The microwave pinged. Justine grabbed the bag as though it wasn’t hot and painful to the touch. Her tolerance for pain was far greater than Sienna’s. She tore open the bag and poured the popcorn into a bowl Sienna was holding—the two of them the perfect and most unlikely picture of domestic bliss.
Sienna had picked the first movie she was really proud of for them to watch together. It was the fifth production she’d been in and the first time she’d felt really confident on set, like she knew what she was doing. Like she belonged there. Like she was contributing to a wonderful movie, instead of feeling like a liability or—worst of all—the one actor the critics couldn’t help but review badly. It was the kind of movie where everything had come together, despite all the uncontrollable stuff that always goes on behind the scenes, and had worked out the best way it could.
Better Days was a modest indie feature about a young woman, played by Sienna, grappling with the sudden loss of her sister. Sienna’s character embarks on a road trip with her sister’s journal as her guide. Along the way, she forms an unexpected bond with a series of women from different walks of life, each teaching her lessons about love, loss, and laughter—a lot of laughter. For a movie about grief and death, it had so many jokes.
Sienna and Justine sank into the couch together, shoulder to shoulder, the bowl of popcorn wedged between them. Justine watched the movie as though she was studying a work of art, her gaze focused, her facial expressions intense. She didn’t utter a single word for the next hour and a half—and seemed too entranced even to eat any popcorn. She only spoke when the credits rolled.
“Wow,” she said. “That was really moving.”
Sienna reveled in Justine’s perfect reaction. A smile beamed on her face.
“I should watch movies more often,” Justine said.
“Stick with me and you will.”
“Gladly.” Justine narrowed her eyes. “I might be biased, but you were amazing. I’m no movie buff, but I feel that in here.” She brought a hand to her belly. “You have a gift for transporting the viewer.”
Throughout her career, Sienna had gotten her fair share of good and bad reviews, but these words about her acting from Justine meant more to her than the best write-up in the most reputable industry outlet. Because Justine was always honest and forthright—another unmistakable draw for Sienna.
“Thank you.” Sienna grinned from ear to ear.
“I was completely mesmerized.” Justine grabbed Sienna’s hand. “It’s rare that I get so absorbed by something.” Justine averted her gaze and seemed suddenly very focused on Sienna’s hand. “I might have fallen for you even more,” she murmured.
Sienna understood loud and clear. She brought their entwined hands to her lips and kissed the inside of Justine’s wrist.
“Maybe you’ll even watch Gimme Shelter with me,” she joked.
“We’ll have to see about that.” Justine didn’t smile. “I will watch all of your other movies, though.”
“You know you’re going to be my date for the premiere?” Sienna blurted out. Oops. That event was many months away. Who knew what might happen before then?
“What?” Justine did paint on a grin now. “Me next to you on the red carpet?” She shook her head. “I don’t know about that.”
“Why not?” Sienna could easily picture it, although she understood that a lot of other people—Justine included—might not be able to.
“I truly don’t know. I haven’t thought about it at all. It’s weird enough that you’re now shooting this movie about my life, that you’re playing my ex, and that we’re also seeing each other. Honestly, for my own sanity, it’s best that I don’t have a lot of spare time to think all of this through.”
“For the record, I can totally envision us on the red carpet together,” Sienna said. “And it would be an honor to walk it with you.” It would be the greatest honor of Sienna’s life to turn up to the Gimme Shelter premiere not only as its co-star but as Justine’s date—or partner, even.
“I’d only be obliterated by your dazzling beauty and star quality,” Justine said.
“Not a chance in hell,” Sienna said. “I know you don’t care about clothes and makeup and red carpets, and movies for that matter, but when the time comes, you will be the one to dazzle on that red carpet. There’s not a single doubt in my mind about that.”
“Really?” Justine’s features softened; her voice was as light as a summer breeze.
“Definitely,” Sienna said, meaning it from the bottom of her heart. Because she saw Justine’s pure, authentic beauty, and not just her magnificent cheekbones, which had probably never been accentuated with the right kind of makeup, or her face that always radiated the hard-won wisdom she carried inside herself, but the beauty of her soul—and the infinite kindness in her heart, despite the life she’d lived. A life that could just as easily have turned her bitter and cold, but Justine was the exact opposite of these things. She was also clueless about certain things, which was endearing, really, and very stubborn about others, which was also a quality to greatly admire. There wasn’t much about Justine that Sienna didn’t admire and the more time they spent together, the deeper her affection grew.