Chapter 23
Sienna was a little starstruck—something that didn’t happen very often. But to be this close to Nora Levine felt special. In their teens, especially during weekends at their dad’s, she and Taissa had binged all seasons of High Life several times. And just like most other viewers, Emily Brooks had been their favorite character.
Mimi had introduced Nora the first time she’d visited the set, and they’d had a brief, polite conversation, but afterward, whenever Nora came to the set—and she came often—she seemed to have this bubble around her that made her difficult to approach. She was always flanked by two of her friends, like she has a human shield around her.
But tonight, Sienna was sitting opposite Nora Levine at the table—and, as Mimi had promised, she was watching an age gap relationship in action. When Sienna had told Justine this, she had given her a skeptical look, as though it was the first time she had contemplated their own difference in age.
Justine and Nora had a lot in common and neither Sienna nor Alexis could get a word in edgewise while Mimi—clearly the cook in this particular age gap relationship—was busy in the kitchen.
“In liberal circles,” Justine was saying, “it’s almost frowned upon to be straight these days. It’s astounding, if you think about the attitudes toward gay people only thirty to forty years ago. Twenty even. The hideous things people said about gays. It’s easy enough to forget, but I will always remember.” Justine’s face always lit up so brightly when she smiled, as she did now. “My point being that I really can’t applaud you enough for coming out of the closet, Nora.”
A while ago, when promoting a movie about lesbian spies she was in with Elisa Fox, Nora had done a one-off big interview with Vanity Fair in which, after years of tabloid speculation, she had come out as bisexual and in a relationship with a woman.
“I was only surfing the wave that Ida Burton and Faye Fleming started,” Nora said.
Justine shook her head. “Every single coming out is hugely important. It’s so easy to think it no longer matters when someone in the public eye comes out, but it so does. It has the kind of impact we tend to underestimate, but so many of the kids I talk to found the courage to come out because someone famous inspired them.” A shadow crossed Justine’s face. Sienna knew why. Because those kids had still ended up at the Rainbow Shelter—no matter how many celebrities busted out of the closet.
“Well, thanks.” Clearly, Nora Levine wasn’t one to bask in the glory of something as trivial to her as telling the world she was in a relationship with a woman. “But, really, Justine, you’re the one who needs to get all the applause at this table. Coming out when I did was low stakes for me.”
As Sienna predicted, Justine waved off Nora’s comment. You really couldn’t embarrass Justine Blackburn more than by giving her a heartfelt compliment. She simply couldn’t accept it.
“Did you ever consider coming out in your High Life days?” Alexis asked, skillfully working her way into what had pretty much been a dialogue between Justine and Nora since they’d sat down.
Nora shook her head. “Not even for a second, although, in hindsight, I should have.”
“Times had to change first,” Justine stated matter-of-factly.
“And she didn’t have me back then.” Mimi approached the table, carrying a stack of plates.
“I was single and it’s quite possible no one would have even believed me then,” Nora said. “Bi-erasure was and is still very much a thing.”
“Let me give you a hand with those.” Sienna rose and followed Mimi back to the kitchen.
“Nora’s very comfortable with Justine.” Mimi glanced at the dinner table. “I can tell by the way she’s talking to her that she’s the kind of person Nora truly appreciates.”
Now that she was alone with Mimi, Sienna took the opportunity to assuage her curiosity about something. “Does Nora live here with you? I see all these pictures of your kids and grandkids, but nothing Nora-related as far as I can tell.”
Mimi smiled. “Nora and I don’t live together. It’s not her thing and that’s absolutely fine with me. She needs her own space and lots of privacy and I have four kids who are in and out all the time, so not living together works really well for us.”
Sienna nodded. “Sure. Why not?” If things with her and Justine progressed to thoughts of living together, Sienna couldn’t picture herself moving in with Justine—but she really shouldn’t be thinking about something like that yet.
“Can you take these, please?” Mimi handed her a handful of cutlery. “Just put them on the table. I’m very casual when it comes to dinner parties.” Sienna liked Mimi a lot, mainly because of her levelheadedness. She was a modest director without delusions of only directing Oscar-worthy movies. More than anything, on set, Mimi radiated the pure joy of being there, of having the coveted job of director and getting to do what she loved the most—something Sienna totally understood.
Just as she deposited the cutlery on the table, Sienna’s phone rang. She fished it out of the back pocket of her jeans. Her mother’s name appeared on the screen. Sienna excused herself and headed into the lounge to take the call, wondering why her mother would call her on a Saturday night.
“Sienna, darling. Where are you?” Her mother’s voice was all choked up. “Are you alone?”
“No, I’m at Mimi’s with Alexis and, um, Justine. Why?”
“It’s your dad. He’s had an accident.” Her mother’s voice tightened even more. “On his motorcycle. He—” The silence on the other end of the line was interspersed with sobs. “He didn’t make it, darling. I’m so sorry.”
“What?” Sienna sank into the nearest couch. “What are you talking about?”
“He’s dead, baby. Bobby’s dead.” Her mother exhaled deeply. “Give me the address of where you are. I’ll send a car. Come to the house. Your sister’s on her way.”
“Mom.” As the news slowly registered in her brain, Sienna’s eyes filled with tears. “I don’t get it. Dad’s… dead?” What the fuck?
“I’m so sorry, baby. Come be with me. You need to be with your family now.”
Justine had walked into the lounge and crouched next to Sienna.
“What’s going on?” she asked.
Sienna’s hand dropped to her lap, her phone tumbling to the ground.
Justine picked it up and talked to Sienna’s mother for a few moments.
Sienna just sat there, trying to absorb the news. Surely, it couldn’t be true. She’d need to get her phone from Justine as soon as she hung up so she could call her dad. She would speak to him and he would tell her none of this was true. It was all utter nonsense. It was just the worst nightmare Sienna had ever had.
“I’ll bring her over right now,” Justine said and ended the call. “Hey.” She swallowed hard. “I’m so sorry, babe. I’m so very sorry.” She tried to fold her arms around Sienna, but Sienna shrugged out of her embrace, her muscles rigid.
“No, no, no,” Sienna muttered, fumbling for her phone. She retrieved it from Justine’s hand and immediately dialed her father's number. It went straight to voicemail.
“Dad, call me back as soon as you get this. Please. It’s urgent.” She hung up and called again, her fingers trembling. Voicemail. Again.
Sienna’s mind raced with possibilities. He was on set, caught up in a scene. He was out with friends, his phone on silent. He was asleep, his phone charging in another room. There had to be a reason he wasn’t answering. Any reason except the one her mother had given her.
She called a third time, desperation rising in her chest with each unanswered ring. When his familiar voice came on, asking her to leave a message, a sob escaped her throat. “Daddy, please,” she whispered, the phone clutched to her ear. “Please, pick up. Tell me this isn’t true.”
Justine gently took the phone from Sienna’s hand and set it aside. She wrapped her arms around Sienna once more, and this time, Sienna didn’t resist. She collapsed into Justine’s embrace, her body shaking with the force of her grief. Tears streamed down her face as the reality of her father’s death began to sink in.
“I’ve got you,” Justine murmured, holding Sienna tightly. “I’m here. You’re not alone.”
“Everything okay?” Suddenly, Mimi was standing next to them.
Justine whispered to Mimi for a while. Was she really saying to Mimi that Sienna’s father, the Bobby Bright, was dead? Was Bobby really gone? How could that even be? A fist of the hardest, coldest steel wrapped itself around Sienna’s heart.
Sienna huddled against the car door, her forehead pressed against the cool glass of the window. Tears streamed down her face in a silent, endless cascade as Justine drove through the busy streets of LA. The city’s nightlife carried on around them, people laughing and enjoying themselves, blissfully unaware that Sienna’s world had just shattered into a million pieces.
How could they be doing this? How could life continue as normal when her father was gone? It seemed impossible, a cruel joke the universe was playing on her.
As they stopped at a red light, a motorcycle pulled up beside them. Sienna jerked forward in her seat, her heart leaping into her throat. For one brief, desperate moment, she thought it was him. It had to be him. This was all a mistake, a terrible misunderstanding. Bobby would pull off his helmet, flash her that Bright grin, and tell her everything was okay.
But it wasn’t him. The biker was just a stranger.
Sienna doubled over in her seat, her arms wrapped tightly around her middle as if she could physically hold herself together.
Justine reached over and placed a hand on Sienna’s back, rubbing soothing circles between her shoulder blades.
“Breathe,” she murmured, her voice thick with emotion. “Just try to breathe.”
But breathing seemed impossible. Everything seemed impossible.
As they drove on through the night, Sienna’s sobs gradually quieted into a silent stream of tears, but the ache in her chest only grew. The rest of the journey to her mother’s house passed in a haze of grief and disbelief, each mile taking her further away from the life she had known and closer to a future she wasn’t ready to face.
As soon as the car had parked, the door swung open and her mother stood there, beckoning Sienna toward her.
Sienna sank into her mother’s embrace. Her mother ushered her into the house, where Taissa was sitting with her husband, her daughters, and Eddy, all of their faces shocked and soaked with tears.