Chapter 19
Liam
Iwalk inside the pub where I’m supposed to meet Kendall for book club tonight and head straight for the bar.
“Could I get a double shot of tequila, please?” I ask the bartender.
He returns a minute later with a small glass of amber liquid. I slide him cash and tell him thanks before downing it.
I take a breath, feeling a little calmer.
I don’t normally need two shots of hard liquor to calm my nerves. But tonight is different.
It’s been a handful of days since Kendall and I last saw each other—since we kissed.
Just thinking about kissing her makes my dick twitch. I take a breath. I really, really don’t want to pop a boner in public.
I shift on my bar stool, thankful when that bastard in my pants settles down.
I try to distract myself by watching the massive flatscreen TV above the bar. There’s a baseball game on, so I try to pay attention, but after a minute, my mind wanders to that kiss in the bakery.
I think about how soft and sweet Kendall’s lips were, how I’ve been fantasizing about kissing her for days.
It was a ballsy as fuck move to kiss her.
But things between us that day were fun and playful.
Yeah, we were giving each other shit, like we always do, but we were having a good time with it too.
When I lied about us being a couple, she played into it.
She didn’t stare daggers at me like I thought she would.
When the bakery owner suggested that we kiss for the photo, I was certain Kendall would say no. But then she gave me the surprise of my life by saying yes. I think about that flash of amusement in her eyes, that teasing smile.
I think about how soft and pliant her lips were, how she moaned softly into my mouth when I parted her lips open with my tongue.
My dick begins to stir, just like it did that day. And every day after.
That day, I went home and immediately jerked off to the fantasy of kissing Kendall. Each time, I let my mind wander. I let my filthy brain go wild imagining what it would be like to kiss her breathless, to drag my mouth down the side of her neck, her tits, her stomach, all the way to her pussy…
I instantly deflate when I think about what a creep that makes me. I jerked off to having imaginary oral sex with my female friend who can’t stand me half the time we’re together. I’m pathetic.
That thought is what causes my dick to wilt in my pants. Good. I don’t want Kendall walking in here and seeing me half-hard.
Shame cooks me from the inside out. I bet she wasn’t fazed by our kiss at all. She hasn’t even texted me. Probably because she’s been busy with work and taking care of her aunt. I bet she’s forgotten about our kiss by now. I bet she hasn’t even thought about me these past few days.
I glance around the bar and spot Kendall walking through the entrance. I force those thoughts out of my mind. No more thinking about our kiss. We’re here to talk about book club.
“Hey.” She nods to the empty glass sitting in front of me. “Getting a headstart?”
I shake my head and flash what I hope is an easy smile. “I had a tequila craving.”
She chuckles. I notice her cheeks are flushed pink. “Tequila actually sounds kind of good.”
She hops on the stool next to me and we order tequila to sip. She sets down a worn copy of Pride & Prejudice on the bar top.
“You didn’t bring your book?” she asks.
“I, uh, actually listened to the audiobook. Does that count as reading?”
A warm smile appears on her pretty face. “Of course that counts. Audiobooks are awesome. They allow people to read who otherwise wouldn’t have time to sit down with a book.”
I smile, feeling more relaxed. “Glad you think that. Some of my teammates were giving me shit about how audiobooks don’t count as reading.”
She rolls her eyes. “Don’t listen to them. They definitely count.” She takes a sip of her tequila and taps the cover of her book. “So. What did you think?”
“I really liked it.”
She beams wide and my heart feels like it’s slingshotting around my chest. Kendall never smiles like that around me, like she’s brimming with joy.
“Really?”
“Yeah. I mean, I haven’t read many books, but I was hooked from the very beginning. I was wondering how Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy would ever get together. He was such a dick to her when they first met.”
She laughs into her glass. She grabs a napkin and wipes her mouth.
“I’ve taught this book in my classes for years and I’ve never heard anyone call Mr. Darcy a dick. That’s amazing.”
“Yeah? You don’t think that’s a dumb take?”
“Not at all. You’re right. He kind of was a dick to her in the beginning.”
“The more I read, the more I realized it was a misunderstanding. He just came off like an awkward guy who has a hard time expressing himself.”
Kendall’s eyes light up and she nods along excitedly. “Yes! Exactly! Nice observation.”
Pride swells in my chest. I’m not used to getting complimented for a random observation I make about a book I just read. I wasn’t a very good student. I never spoke up in class when teachers would ask questions about the assignment. I was too scared that they’d figured out how stupid I was.
But with Kendall, it feels different. I know she’s not going to make fun of me. And I can tell she genuinely cares about what I have to say.
“What?” Kendall asks after I’ve been quiet for a moment.
“Nothing, it’s just…” I let out a flustered laugh. “I’m not used to getting such a positive reaction when it comes to stuff like this.”
“What do you mean?”
“I never talked much during class discussions. Usually because I didn’t do the homework.
I didn’t have to because of that agreement my coaches had with my teachers and professors.
But even when I did the assignment and knew what the teacher was talking about, I was still afraid to speak up and participate.
I thought I’d sound like an idiot.” I pause.
“So it means a lot to hear you say nice things about me.”
Sincerity flashes in Kendall’s big brown eyes. “Listen to me. You’re not an idiot, Liam. What you’re saying is really insightful and I’m enjoying talking to you.”
Warmth puddles in my chest. “Thanks.”
“So what did you think about Mr. Darcy as a character?”
“I liked him.”
“Yeah?”
I nod. “He’s a little rough around the edges, but his heart was in the right place.
You could tell he was a good guy at the core.
Like when he went through all that trouble to make sure that Mr. Wickam would actually marry Elizabeth’s sister and not screw her over,” I say.
“Sidebar, marriage sounded wild back then. It was all about status and money and securing the best position for you and your family.”
“Yeah, it was definitely different from how it is now,” Kendall says.
“I was kind of surprised that Mr. Darcy didn’t tell Elizabeth what he did. But then I realized it was because he was a genuinely good guy. He didn’t do it for the praise or as a way to get Elizabeth to like him. He did it because he wanted to help her family. Because it was the right thing to do.”
“Liam, you said that so brilliantly.”
I let out an embarrassed laugh. “You think so?”
“Yeah. That’s what I think too.”
“You do?”
She nods. “That’s why I like Mr. Darcy so much as a character.
He’s a good guy at the core. He’s not trying to be someone he’s not.
He’s not trying to pull off some super slick facade.
He is who he is. He’s kind of gruff and curt, and he rubs people the wrong way, but he’s honest. And when you get to know him, you see that he’s a genuinely sweet and caring guy. ”
“I liked Elizabeth a lot too. She was feisty. And she wasn’t afraid to go toe-to-toe with Mr. Darcy.”
Kendall chuckles. “You’re so right. I love their dynamic.”
“She reminded me of you.”
“Really?”
I nod. “The way she told off Mr. Darcy made me think of the times that you’ve gone off on me.”
She laughs. “Oh, come on.”
“You both are feisty as hell, firecracker.”
Kendall shakes her head, still laughing.
“Seriously though, it was cool reading how Elizabeth went from hating Mr. Darcy to liking him. It felt like a rollercoaster ride. In a good way.”
“Classic enemies to lovers trope.”
I quirk an eyebrow. “Kind of like us.”
She rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling. “We’re not lovers.”
I shrug a shoulder. “All you gotta do is say the word, firecracker, and we can change that real quick.”
I expect Kendall to shove my shoulder or tell me to shut up. But she doesn’t. Instead, that teasing smile plays on her lips as she holds my gaze.
“Whatever,” she says through a smile.
Excitement kicks up in my chest. Maybe she doesn’t hate the thought of us getting together…
“So. You liked Pride and Prejudice. Does that mean you’d be up for reading another Jane Austen book?”
I refocus. “Yeah, definitely. What was the other one you said you liked better? Persuasion?”
“Yes. I love Pride and Prejudice, but the passion in Persuasion is unmatched. Just wait till you meet Captain Wentworth. He’s gonna make you swoon hard.”
Just then Kendall’s phone rings.
“Sorry, it’s my aunt, just a sec.”
I tell her no problem and glance up at the baseball game on the flatscreen TV while she answers.
“Hi, Auntie. What’s up?…Oh my god…”
I look over at Kendall, whose face is twisted into a worried frown.
“Okay…Okay, just…It’s okay, I’m coming home right now…I love you.”
She hangs up and aims a panicked stare at me.
“What happened?” I ask her.
“My aunt…She fell…I have to go…”
“Shit…”
Kendall digs through her purse. “I-I’m sorry to leave like this, but I need to go to her.”
“Of course…” I notice her hands are shaking as she tries to grab her keys. Gently, I cover my hand over hers. “Kendall, wait. You can’t drive like this. You’re too upset.”
She shakes her head even before I finish speaking. “I have to get to her, Liam. She fell and she might be hurt and…”
I give her hand a soft squeeze. “Let me drive you.”
She frowns. “I don’t need you to do that.”
“Kendall. There’s no way I’m letting you drive like this. I’ll take you.”
She blinks at me. “You drank though.”
“I had a shot of tequila an hour ago. I’ve barely had two sips of my second drink. Look at me. I’m huge. It would take a lot more alcohol than that to have an effect.”
She lets out a breath. “Okay. Thank you.”
I toss cash onto the bar top and touch her arm. “Let’s go.”
I follow her out of the pub and down the street to where her car is parked. She hands me the keys, and I hop in the driver’s seat. She tells me her address and I head in that direction, careful not to speed so I don’t get pulled over.
When I ease to a stop at a traffic light, I glance over at Kendall. Her big brown eyes are shining with unshed tears.
It feels like a punch to the gut seeing her like this, in so much pain, consumed with worry.
Emotion surges through me. I grab her hand in mine. “It’s gonna be okay,” I say.
She turns to glance at me and sniffles. “Thank you.”
The light changes and I speed ahead. For the rest of the drive, I hold her hand in mine.