He’s got the shits, okay?
Thirty-Three
HE’S GOT THE SHITS, OKAY?
Luke
“So, you finally went for it, huh?” Josh shoves his hands into his pockets as we make our way down the street toward my truck.
I nod. No point in trying to deny it. My mind falls back on the woman I left behind at The Tavern, who was having too much fun with the girls by the time trivia ended to call it a night.
I didn’t want to leave her behind. I wanted to bring her home and finish what we started, but sticking around to stare at her during what morphed into a lively girls' night was a level of desperation I wasn’t willing to stoop to.
“Look, I’m glad you’re letting loose, looking past those stupid rules of yours. But at The Tavern? On trivia night, when the whole town is in attendance? Come on, man. You’re the one who wants to keep things a secret. Help yourself out here.”
“I know. I know, I—” How do I explain that I completely lost control in there? That I don’t know how far I’d have taken things if he hadn’t shown up?
My hand reaches up and rubs the back of my neck. “She just—”
“Oh my gosh, Luke!” a voice squeals from up ahead. The sound of heels click-clacks against the sidewalk. Chloe and her friend come trotting up from the direction of The Bicycle Spoke. Fuck Me.
“Is it too late to run?” Josh whispers from the side of his mouth. “Why isn’t she slowing down?” he asks, slightly panicked.
Before I can even speculate, Chloe comes barreling forward, leaving her friend in the dust. She leaps at me, catching me off guard.
“I can’t believe you’re actually out!” she screeches. Her arms wrap around my neck, clinging to me like a spider monkey.
What the actual fuck? Josh’s face conveys the same thing I’m thinking as her friend finally wanders up giggling and smiling.
“Hey, Josh,” she says softly, batting her glassy eyes and swaying.
I pry a very drunk Chloe off of me, setting her down on the ground. Her too-sweet perfume is overwhelming, and mixed with the copious amounts of tequila on her breath, it all just makes my head hurt.
Chloe sways a little, giggling ridiculously.
“Luke, we”—Chloe reaches for her friend and yanks on her arm, pulling her closer—“want you guys to come have drinks with us. We’re going…” She looks around for the next spot. “Over there! That’s a fun place to go, right? C’mon!” She reaches for me, grabbing my hand.
I shake off her grip, stepping backward out of reach. “Ah, damn. Wish we could,” I say, looking at Josh desperately.
“Yeah. Oh man, wish we could but, uh…” Shit, I know that look. Josh is plotting. “Well, you see, Luke ate some bad food—”
“I’m just not feeling great, so I think we’re going to head home.”
“But—” She reaches for me again. I take another step back, as discreetly I can.
“Look, let me be frank with you.” Josh pinches the bridge of his nose, then claps me on the shoulder.
Chloe looks at Josh, eyes wide and childishly curious. I’m curious too. What’s he up to?
“He’s got the shits, okay? He’s embarrassed, and that’s fine.
We all get embarrassed about this stuff, but if I don’t get him home ASAP—” He raises his eyebrows, his head tilting in my direction.
“Lord knows I don’t need him crapping himself in my truck.
He’s got no control over it.” Josh’s hands gesture toward me and back toward the direction of home.
I raise my eyebrows. He’s got to be kidding me.
Chloe and her friend swing their gazes toward me. Is that a hint of disgust there?
Wait, is Josh a genius?
My hand finds my stomach and rubs back and forth.
“Yeah, I-I should get home.”
“We’ll see you around, though. Have fun!” Josh gives a wave and starts to walk. I take that as my cue to follow.
“Well, I can certainly take you home and make sure you’re feeling okay.” Chloe reaches out and snags my hand like the piranha that she is. Relentless. She is absolutely relentless.
“I think tonight is for Luke and the porcelain throne, Chloe, but super kind of you. C’mon, man, let’s go before you have an accident.” Josh pats me on the shoulder with a stupid grin on his face.
All I can do is sigh and follow, walking away from Chloe and her over-dramatic pout.
Once we’re out of earshot, I glance back to where the girls stood a few minutes ago to find they’re gone now. Good. Putting all my weight into it, I shove Josh as hard as I can in the shoulder, catching him off guard.
“The shits? Seriously?”
“It worked, didn’t it?” He laughs.
“Whatever, man. You’re a jackass.”
Josh snickers, earning himself another good shove.