Chapter 14
Violet
Ridge signed the papers.
The man I loved with every bit of my soul sold our house and deposited every penny of the money he made into my personal account along with a sum of money I couldn’t even think about.
He gave me everything I never asked for.
It was all done without me ever having to lay eyes on him again.
The last time I saw my husband was when I walked out the door of our house on our anniversary – his birthday – after I had seen him in an intimate situation with his duplicitous assistant.
I wasn’t sure what everyone expected me to feel, but to say I was devastated would have been an understatement.
Ridge never fought for us.
He didn’t call or show up. Nothing.
Out of all the expectations I had with the divorce moving forward after he was served, his complete radio silence and disappearing act hadn’t been on the list. It was as if he had no cares in the world about the woman he’d been married to, and I had a very hard time wrapping my mind around that.
My heart - she was shattered completely.
Pulverized. I didn’t even think there was any dust left by the time I received the final notice from my lawyer.
“Are you going to be okay?”
It took a minute for me to register the fact that Margarette Atwater had spoken to me. When I finally clued in, my eyes snapped up to meet the warm brown ones staring back at me with so much pity, I felt as though I could drown in them.
“I’m sorry, what did you ask?”
“Are you going to be okay? Can I call someone to be here for you?” I didn’t miss the way her eyes shifted from her phone to the door. No doubt, she had more cases to win, news to deliver, checks to collect.
“I’ll be fine. Thank you for bringing this all the way here,” I said as I lifted the envelope filled with the papers that signified the end of my marriage.
“I appreciate everything you did for me.” That was far from the truth.
My lawyer had done her job, and from the looks of things, she had done it well.
I didn’t want her to do it, though. I didn’t want my husband to agree to any of it.
I needed him to fight for us, and he hadn’t.
So, this win my lawyer was so cheerful about when she got to my place felt like a final slap in the face.
“If you need anything, you know how to reach me,” Margarette mentioned as she scooted toward the door as quickly as she was able in those sky-high heels of hers.
I gave a slight nod and managed to get to my feet and make my way to the door behind her.
Once she passed over the threshold, I closed and locked it.
I stood there for a minute with my head leaned against the cool wood and tried to process everything, but that was when the nausea hit and I had to run for the bathroom.
The whole time I ran, while I puked, and when I sat on the bathroom floor completely numb, I kept repeating that one line over and over.
“If you need anything…”
What I needed was for my husband to fight for us, to explain how all of this was possible, to tell me where we went wrong and how we were going to fix it. He never showed up, though.
He never showed up.
I never knew a person could hurt so much and still survive. How was that possible? How did people go through this type of thing and continue to breathe?
How could I continue to breathe when my heart stopped beating?
How could Ridge stop loving me?
I didn’t know how I would ever trust him again, but part of me wanted him to fight for us and give me reasons why I should.
The only thing I could think was that he had been so angry that I wasn’t there for him after what happened, that he decided he was done with me as well. There was a part of me that didn’t blame my husband - ex-husband - for that. Still, I thought… It didn’t matter what I thought.
My marriage was gone.
My husband was a ghost.
And I didn’t know how to continue living.
Three days later, I woke up and immediately had to vomit up what little I had in my stomach.
After crying on the bathroom floor for an hour in between dry-heaving spells, I finally called my mom to come take me to the doctor.
Something was wrong, and on the off chance that it wasn’t my broken heart trying to kill me, I figured it was time to find out what the hell was going on.
“Oh, my Lord, Violet!” My mother cried when she let herself into my apartment and found me still huddled around the toilet. “Why didn’t you call me sooner?”
“I…” Nothing else came out. What was I going to tell her?
Part of me wanted to die. I thought it would pass.
I couldn’t bring myself to care that I was sick for the past couple weeks.
None of those things would make her feel better.
In fact, they might just land me on a seventy-two-hour hold in the psych ward at the hospital.
“Never mind, let’s get you to the doctor so we can have them check you out. I have a feeling you just need a strong antidepressant to help get you through, but you never know, you might have caught a bug or something.”
I had no other outward symptoms that would indicate the latter, and my mom knew it.
She might have been thinking about that seventy-two-hour hold without me having to mention any of the awful thoughts I’d been having.
I gave my mom a nod and then let her help me up off the floor.
Once I managed to change into some clean underwear and sweats, we headed out.
“The weather sure has been warm,” Mom said as she drove us toward the family practice we’d been using since before I was born. They had thankfully upgraded their offices and grown their staff over the years but Dr. Carson, who started it all back when my parents were newlyweds, was still around.
“No offense, Mom, but I don’t give a shit about the weather.”
Bless the woman for leaving it at that. She made a disapproving humming noise in the back of her throat and continued to drive in silence for a bit. When we were about five minutes out, she finally spoke again.
“You need to talk about it. If not to me, then someone. Maybe a professional. You went from having a marriage everyone envied to divorced in no time flat. I love you, my girl. I can’t stand to see you withering away to nothing.
Despite your name, you have never been a shrinking violet afraid to get out in the world and take it by storm.
It breaks my heart to see you this way.”
“Well, my heart is broken, Mom. I don’t know why everyone thinks I should just get over that right away because I was the one to ask for the divorce. It still hurts. No matter what.”
“I know,” she muttered. “I know,” she repeated again, as if words had suddenly become hard.
Thankfully, we arrived at the doctor’s office before she could pick a new topic or reword the previous one. By the time I was checked in, I was out of what little steam I’d managed to find. When the nurse called me back, my mother rose too, as if she was going to come with me. I shook my head.
“I’m a grown woman. I’d rather do this on my own.”
“But-” she started to say before I cut her off with another swift shake of my head.
“No, Mom. I need to do this on my own. If there’s anything you need to be concerned about, I’ll let you know.”
It was bad enough my husband didn’t think I was worth even a conversation, let alone a fight, before we divorced. I couldn’t handle being treated like an invalid, or someone who didn’t have their own facilities, by my family.
I did all the preliminary things women are always asked to do when going to the doctor. I was measured, weighed, blood pressure and temperature checked, and then I had to pee in a cup.
“When was your last period?” The nurse asked as she did all the intake information before the doctor came in to see me. I thought about that and then gasped. Her eyes shifted to where my hands landed on my belly.
Heather had been my usual nurse for the past eight years.
She knew what was going on in my marriage.
Everyone knew thanks to one of my husband’s coworkers spilling the beans about his “affair” to a tabloid.
The asshole had gotten the details correct for what he saw when I answered that damned video call on Ridge’s birthday in front of everyone, but what he didn’t give the press was the details of how Fiona drugged then sexually assaulted my husband.
Ex-husband. I was sure my nurse knew all of that.
“I am bound by HIPAA to keep your secrets for you,” Heather reminded me. “I’m going to check on the results of your test.”
She stood and left the exam room as I sat there and wondered if it could be true.
My heart beat so fast. I should have known already.
The stress of planning Ridge’s party had thrown me.
I hadn’t paid attention to much else because I was so frazzled by keeping everything under wraps.
I had somehow missed my period and not noticed.
There was no question why I hadn’t noticed the past month, but that would certainly explain why two months had gone by without me even questioning what was going on with my body.
Heather came back into the room a moment later and shut the door tight behind her before she made her way to me.
“I’m not supposed to tell you the results.
That is for the doctor, but if I was in your shoes, I’d want to know immediately.
” I must have given her a nod because she squeezed my hand and whispered, “You are pregnant, sweetie.”
I broke down crying in Heather’s arms and she held onto me like a mom comforting a hurt child.
“It’s going to be okay. I know things are tough for you right now, but it will all work out.
Whatever you want to do. If you need help getting a procedure done, I will help you.
If you plan to keep it, you know we’ll be there for you every step of the way. ”