Chapter 25
Violet
A week after I gave birth to Liam, I was finally released from the hospital.
My son, though healthy enough to go home, stayed with me since I was a nursing mom.
Despite the fact that I knew it broke his heart to go home every evening, Ridge showed up every day and stayed until the nurses kicked him out.
He didn’t just hang around either. He was in full-on dad mode during those days.
It made me wonder what it was going to be like when I finally got home.
I had questions for Ridge, but I was too much of a coward to ask them. So, when he asked to take us home from the hospital, I decided to take him up on the offer. If nothing else, I might finally get the nerve to ask.
Duri was all for the plan. In fact, she was the one who came up with it when she refused to drive me home from the hospital.
“You have to figure things out. Even if you never get back together, you have a son to raise. If you want those relationships you both have with him to be healthy ones, then you need to be an adult and work on things.”
She wasn’t wrong. That didn’t mean I was happy with her when she abandoned us at the hospital and called Ridge to come do his duty and take us home.
We were all the way down to the car before I realized one crucial thing. “The car seat for Liam was in my Highlander.”
Ridge offered a sad smile to me. “Don’t worry, I got a new one for our boy. Figured you didn’t have one with the car being totaled.”
To my complete surprise, the car seat Ridge bought was the same one I had before. “How did you know?”
“Well, it had the safest rating, but when I showed it to your dad and Drake, they told me it was the one you had picked out before. Detective Daughtry told me we could get yours out of the Highlander because he didn’t think it sustained any damage, but I figured better to start fresh, just in case. ”
I nodded and refused to cry even though I felt the burn of tears building.
I sniffed back the sadness and tucked myself into Ridge’s car while he worked with the nurse to get our son buckled into the car seat properly.
I couldn’t help since my dominant arm was still tucked into my side for another six weeks or so.
Then I would have to start physical therapy.
It was not how I pictured becoming a new mom, but we were making it work through teamwork. After they finished with Liam, the nurse wished us well and Ridge climbed into the driver’s seat. When he didn’t move to start the car, I got nervous and finally glanced over to him.
“I’m ashamed to admit this, but I don’t know where you live.”
My heart dropped straight down to the floor of his car somewhere.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way. The man I had been with for a decade of my life didn’t know where I lived and there was so much wrong with that.
I gave him the address and looked away because I didn’t want to see any of the judgment I knew was coming when he saw where I lived.
I didn’t live in a bad area by any means, but my modest two-bedroom apartment was a far cry from the multimillion-dollar home we used to share in a gated community.
To my complete surprise, Ridge said nothing about my place as he looked around and checked out Liam’s nursery. It was completely decked out and done in soft hues of yellow and sage green, since I wasn’t sure of the gender.
“It’s cute. Did your dad help you put all this together?” Ridge asked as he laid our son down in his crib for the first time.
“Dad, Drake, and Moreland. Your dad came for moral support, but that man was made to put record contracts together, not furniture,” I joked.
We both laughed and it felt good to know that was possible for us to do.
I missed laughing with Ridge. We had the best time together over the years and it was probably one of the things I missed the most about having him in my life.
“I guess we should talk,” I suggested, “before Liam wakes up again.”
“Yeah, living room?” Ridge asked.
I followed behind him until we each took a separate corner of the couch. “Sorry, did you want a drink?”
“No, let’s talk and then we’ll worry about pleasantries. How are you going to manage with Liam at night by yourself.”
“I guess we’re jumping right in. My dad, DD, and Drake are all set to take turns. My mom offered, too. I need to have a conversation with her first about why Drake thinks I won’t want that to happen.”
Ridge shifted uncomfortably but I already knew his stance. That news needed to come from my family, not him.
“Do you mind if I’m here during the day at least?”
“I don’t mind. He’s your son, too. I think I’m mostly worried about you wanting to take him with you for now. I’m not producing enough breast milk yet to stash any away. That means we’d have to put him on formula, as well, and I really don’t want to have to do that.”
“Hey, it’s okay,” Ridge offered in a soothing voice.
“I’m not taking Liam anywhere without you for a long while.
He needs his mom more than he needs me. I’m not stupid.
As long as you don’t keep him from me and it’s okay for me to be here with you, I don’t see why I’d need to take him anywhere else. ”
“Okay,” I agreed nervously. “Sorry,” I swiped at a stupid tear that fell. “Apparently between the hormones and head injury I’m a bit extra in the drama department these days.”
“Did they say when that might change?” There was no judgement in his tone. Ridge was just curious.
“Depends, I guess. Considering I got hit with a double whammy, the official answer is we have to wait and see. Due to me breastfeeding and the injury, both Dr. Macon and Carson said they would rather not put me on any mood-altering mediations unless it was absolutely necessary. I guess it is hard to tell if the head injury is improving if I’m altering my status. ”
“Still, if it is something you need…” Ridge’s voice trailed off when he saw me smile. “I missed that,” he said.
I knew what he meant. I missed the small things we used to take for granted as well.
“If it is necessary, then I will have to swap to formula feeding and take the medications for a while and then slowly come off them again for assessments at a later date. There is a plan in place for any eventuality.”
“That’s good to know.” Ridge shifted sideways on the couch, so he faced me. “Your health is top priority. Our son is doing just fine, but we need to make sure you are as well.”
“Don’t worry, I have it covered.”
“I know you do, Vi. You always did. Just… shit… you’re not alone in this anymore. I know you never were because of family and DD and Moreland and Gabby, but…”
I put the man out of his misery. “I know what you mean and thank you. I’m glad you’re here, Ridge.”
“Me, too. More than you’ll ever know, Vi. I…” he started to say more and then stopped himself. When I was about to encourage him to say more, there was a knock on the door. Then someone used the key to let themselves in.
“Knock, knock,” DD called out. She glanced over at the couch to see that Ridge and I were facing one another in an obvious, ‘we’re having a chat’ position. “I can come back later, or go hang out in the nursery,” she suggested.
“No,” Ridge said as he stood up. “I think maybe I should get going for the night. It’s been a long day and I’m sure you’re tired.
” He looked at me and all I could do was nod like an idiot.
I was tired, but we were nowhere near finished with our conversation.
I had so many questions for him. Like why he didn’t reach out to me or fight for us at all.
I supposed those could wait until next time.