THIRTY-NINE
PROMISE. Did that mean nothing?
Going through her front door and up the stairs, she tossed her purse toward the couch and went into the kitchen. She couldn’t stay still. What was she supposed to do? Good luck to him. If he wanted to take risks with his life like some kind of thrill seeker—was one bout of unconsciousness not enough for him? How could his mother have let him out? She wouldn’t. No way. That meant he’d snuck out, like some kind of creep—
“Cherry!”
“Don’t you—” Storming to the balustrade above the stairs, she shouted as he ascended. “I am not your Cherry! I am not your anything.”
“Yes, you are,” he said, reaching her level. When he tried to touch her, she raised her arm out of his reach. “Partners, remember?”
“No,” she said, backing up as he advanced. “Partners don’t lie to each other. Partners don’t make promises they have no intention of keeping.”
“Baby, it wasn’t like—”
“When I left this morning, what did I say?”
His nod acknowledged surrender. “You told me to stay in bed.”
“No!” She pointed up at him when they stopped. “No, I asked you to stay in bed. I said I was worried, and I didn’t want you taking any risks. Didn’t I?”
“Yes.”
“I asked you to stay in bed, only get out for the bathroom, that’s it. You could read, watch TV, do whatever you wanted, but I asked you to stay in bed. And what did you say?”
“I said I would.”
“You promised you would. Completely of your own volition, you promised! I asked if you would do that for me and you said, you said…” Still panting, her gusto winded her. “You said you would do anything for me. I asked you to stay in bed and you promised you would.”
“I’m sorry, baby,” he said, maneuvering in a few slow moves to put her back to the kitchen counter.
“You don’t promise a woman something, anyone something, if you have no intention of following through.”
His humoring smirk wasn’t appreciated. “I had every intention of following through. I underestimated how boring it was to be in that bed without you.”
“Don’t flirt with me, don’t charm and—you hurt me, Darroch.”
His smile immediately dropped. “Bab—”
“You lied to me.” Much as she tried to convey it, she wasn’t sure he got it. “I can’t be with a liar.”
Suddenly, he got way more serious. “You are not ending this because I got out of bed.”
“Lies, Darroch. I need a man who doesn’t lie to me. Who takes partnership seriously.” She exhaled and ran a hand through her hair. “What was I thinking? This isn’t a partnership, I don’t even have your phone number.”
“I scared you; I shouldn’t have been so insensitive to your concern.”
“You shouldn’t exploit someone else’s feelings like that. It’s like you don’t even care.”
“Of course I care,” he said, landing his fists on the counter, looming over her. “You know how I feel about you, baby. This is forever and I’m going to make it happen, whatever it takes.”
“How can I believe that when you just flagrantly disregard my—your mother has my phone number, by the way. Partners consult each other. If something happened or something changed, Alice could’ve got in touch with me. Did that even occur to you? Probably not, ‘cause I’d bet you’re hiding from her too. She would never let you—do you know how scared she was? We sat there together, holding your hand—”
“I know, baby.”
“Your family—your brothers might think this is some joke, that it’s okay to josh around like you’re some badass out there picking fights with—”
“I get it,” he murmured, bending his knees to come lower. “Okay? I get it. I’m sorry.”
“I trusted you. How can I ever do that again?”
“Because whatever you want right now, it’ll happen. You’re the boss, okay? Strike one, I get it, I won’t fuck up again.”
She shook her head as it dipped. “You already have a mother, an incredible one.”
“You’re not my mother; you’re my partner.”
“We’re not equals.”
Curling his finger under her chin, he brought it up. “No, but I’ll try my damndest to reach your league. Give a guy a chance.”
Except she had given him a chance… hadn’t she?
“You’re mocking me.”
“God, baby, don’t ask me to lose you when I barely got a taste.”
Scared. That’s what he’d said. What was wrong with that? Nothing, except, that’s what it was: fear.
“What if you hadn’t woken up?” she asked. “If that guy hit you just a little harder… And if I’d come to your bed tonight and you were gone…”
“You’re right. You’re right, I didn’t think about it like that. Truly, I’m sorry.”
This time it was his gaze that drifted. The guy had been through so much and, if anything, the fear only made it more palpable. He had her heart. Her love. She’d fought it, but having known the world with him, she couldn’t bear to think of it without him.
Good sense didn’t care about heartstrings and Hollywood endings.
Taking his hand from the counter, she linked their fingers to lead him up the stairs to the loft bedroom. Putting his back to the bed, she let go.
“Baby—”
She touched his lips to quiet him. “This is your do over. Your one do over.”
Gathering up his pullover hoodie, she needed his help to remove it because he was so much taller, same with his tee-shirt. Laying her hand over the center of his chest, she felt his heartbeat against it before leaning in and kissing his sternum.
“Belongs to you.”
“What belongs to me?” she asked, caressing his torso with her cheek.
“Me. All of me. Everything.”
“If that’s true…” She reversed a few inches and pushed his hips downward until he sat on the end of the bed. She crouched in front of him. The wonder in his eyes might be hopeful, but she wasn’t that over their spat yet. Instead, she slipped off his sneakers. “You’ll stay in this bed with me until I release you.”
“I can handle that.” He planted his hands on the bed behind him. “It’s the ‘with you’ part that’s the clincher.”
“You will do as you’re told?”
“I will do as told.”
“Socks on or off?” she asked, squeezing his ankles.
“Your call, Mistress.”
“If they stay on, you’ll only get so close to me.”
“Off it is,” he said, toeing off one then the other like a professional.
“Okay,” she said, finding her laugh. “Bet you’re happy your boys put that TV up for you now.” She nodded at the nightstand. “The remote’s on your side, pick whatever you want.”
“Where are you going?” He caught her hips before she could retreat. “What happened to ‘with you’?”
“I’m going to get my purse and something for us to drink.” And to lock the front door. “Are you hungry?”
“Haven’t had much time to go grocery shopping.”
“I have pasta, some sauce, or I can go out foraging?”
“Not out, stay in, we can order something. Are you in the mood for something specific?”
She screwed up her face. “I don’t want anything greasy.”
“Okay, pick, any restaurant in the city.”
Her fingers combed through his hair. Damn, he was like a work of art yet approachable; soft, with just the right amount of hard.
“That’s not the way restaurants work,” she said. “Typically people go to them.”
“Either we take the bed with us, or we make it worth their while.”
“Bribe them to deliver?”
“Whatever your heart desires, baby, I’ll have it brought here with bells on.”
“Okay,” she said and pushed away with another laugh. “Go lie down, I’ll get my phone and we can check out our options.”
She grabbed what they needed. By the time she got back upstairs, Darroch had the TV on pause and the pillows stacked to keep them close.
“I went with action. We’ll watch the panty melter next.”
“You have a head injury, stop thinking about sex. Good thing I knew you before this or I might think it was a symptom.” She tossed her phone to the bed beside him. “Will you call your mom and let her know you’re alive? Please.”
“Then she won’t bother us later,” he said and winked. “Good plan, Batman.”
She pulled her blouse from her skirt and drew the zipper half down before taking the pins from her hair.
“Check she’s okay with you staying here.”
“Been a long time since I asked my mom’s permission to have a sleepover.”
“You have better facilities at the house.” She paused. “Maybe you would be better at home. Though we are closer to the major hospitals here.”
“Stop worrying, baby, and lose the clothes.”
Her head turned toward the mirror and there was his reflection in the center at the top of the bed, eagerly awaiting… Why would a man like him—no, he didn’t like her thinking that way.
“You’ve seen me in less plenty.”
“Never gets old,” he said, tapping her phone to fill the air with ringing.
“Do not tell her I’m getting undressed,” she said and stalled to catch her skirt. “She’ll think I brought you here for—”
“Sex? I’d be okay with that.”
“Savanna?” Alice’s voice stopped the ringing. “Oh, my dear, those boys—”
“It’s me, Mom.”
“Darroch?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think about how my actions could upset everyone. There’s no excuse. I was insensitive.”
Alice sighed. “That girl is good for you, my sweet boy.”
He smiled at her. “I know it.”
“Did you make it up to her?”
“I plan to,” he said. “We’re staying at hers tonight.”
“Unless you want him home,” she interjected.
“Savanna, sweetheart,” Alice said, “his home is wherever you are, and his home belongs to you. I trust you to look after each other.” A second passed. “Darroch.”
“Yes, Mom,” he droned.
“I love you,” Alice said.
The line disconnected.
She went to retrieve the phone and plugged it into the nightstand charger. “She does that with all of you, when she says your name like that…”
“It’s her way of telling us to behave. She’s had too many teenage boys in her life to ever forget what we’re capable of.”
“Why are you all boys?” she asked, sliding off her skirt and shirt to put both in the laundry hamper.
“We identify that way and all have dicks, honey,” he said. “You know mine but will have to take my word for the other fifteen.”
He picked up the covers for her as she crawled into the bed next to him. “Why did your parents choose boys?”
“Boys are harder to adopt.” He tucked her in close and kissed her head. “Girls are more popular.”
“Would you ever do it?”
“Do what? Adopt?”
“You make a lot of jokes about family and what you want…” Twisting her head, she looked up at him. “Is a family what you want?”
“We have a family. We are family.”
“Your mom wants you to be happy. All of you. Sometimes I think…”
“What?” he prompted.
Her eyes met his again. “Sometimes it can feel like no matter what you do, it’s not enough.”
“You think she isn’t doing enough?”
“I’m in absolute awe of her, I think she’s the most incredible, inspiring person I’ve ever met.”
“So you think you aren’t doing enough? Cherry—”
“I get it. I don’t know her reasons or their source, but motivation, the drive to give back… It’s not about chasing a high, it’s never being enough. I can never repay all that was given to me.”
“You don’t owe anyone anything,” he said, combing his fingers through her hair.
“I feel like I do,” she admitted, vulnerability quaking in her belly, quieting her voice. “Growing up, my mother would take whatever she could get, whether we needed it or not. Charities picked us up. The goodwill of others gave us a lifeline we wouldn’t have survived without. There were times we needed it, after we were burglarized, and we had a fire… more than one fire.” And she wasn’t so sure they were all accidental. “But it didn’t matter. If my mom saw an in, she’d take from those who might need it to have more for herself. Makes me sick to think about it now.”
“That was your mom and you were a kid. You’re a good person, an amazing person. But I have no problem with giving back or taking on other responsibilities. Whatever life we build together, Cherry, I will always be on your side. I’ll always support you.”
She couldn’t probe and ask more about what he wanted from life when her own vision was still hazy. Alice Breckenridge showed what was possible. How did that inspiration shape her own future? Their future. Together. Together?