FORTY-ONE
NOTHING brECKENRIDGE MEANT no job. God, she wouldn’t make rent if she didn’t find something, anything, soon.
Online, she scrolled through listings, sending her resume to anything even remotely suitable. Something had to work eventually. Fate hadn’t been her friend, what was karma going to say? Something in her favor, hopefully, maybe. Life didn’t work that way. Twenty-five years to learn that lesson. That was just fucking embarrassing.
Any time her phone rang, she grabbed it with hope some employer was getting back to her. Nothing yet.
Celeste, Yvette, Nessa, all of them called, but she hadn’t answered. Her resignation email was her final word, should be her final word. There was no way to explain it to them. She’d never get through the tale anyway, her shame was beyond stupidity.
Darroch Breckenridge? Any Breckenridge? What a complete idiot. That wasn’t her life. She’d known that and been seduced by… Well, he’d played it great, or she’d heard what she wanted to, felt what she wanted… Another lesson it took twenty-five years to learn. If something was too good to be true…
And she couldn’t even unload on anyone. Get out all the tension and stupidity and emotion. Yvette had enough on her plate, and what would she say anyway? How could she explain her reasons without admitting her shame? Her association with Darroch had been private. What would be the point of admitting it now it was over?
No, she wouldn’t dwell on it. Over meant over. New chapter time. Time for something completely different.
Someone knocked on the front door. Who’d be visiting? Doubt a job just sauntered up to say hello and offer itself to her. If only.
She went down the stairs and checked the peephole. Darroch wouldn’t—
She stepped back.
Was that really?
No.
Sliding back one lock while turning the other, belief didn’t kick in even with her eyes on the guest.
“Roxanna Kyst?”
The woman held two bottles aloft. “I brought wine.”
Stepping aside when the woman strode on in, the guy on the threshold, the tall, built, gorgeous man on her threshold, took it upon himself to lean in and close the door.
“How bad is it?” Roxie called from upstairs. “Do we need glasses or are we chugging straight from the bottle? I have Astrid on standby if we need anything stronger.”
Getting with it, she hurried up the stairs. Roxie had already kicked off her shoes and taken her hair down.
The corkscrew on the couch next to her looked like hers. Had Roxie…?
“So here’s the thing about Tripp Breckenridge…” Roxie twisted the corkscrew in. “He’s the catch-all brother. The one everyone else goes to with their oopsies.” She paused to show her a palm. “And that is not to minimize what happened. God, no. No way.” Straining, she held the bottle between her thighs and pulled at the impaled corkscrew. Except the cork stayed stuck. “Ballard!”
The scream was so loud, she ducked like it had physical mass. The downstairs door opened and the scowling door-closer came stomping up. Roxie, without seeing her rise, scampered across the room to meet him at the top.
“I swear to fucking God, Little Rox,” he murmured not so under his breath.
In a single pull, he freed the cork. Roxie grabbed his neck in one hand and the wine in the other, she pulled him down for a cheek kiss, then waved him away.
“I keep him on the reservation,” Roxie sang to Ballard as he glared to stamp on out and slam the door. “Makes his job easier, Ballard’s job. See once upon a time…” In a twirl, Roxie snagged her arm in hers to link them and continue to the couch. “Once upon a time, my guy could be all kinds of grumpy and erratic. He’d get stressed and need to disappear or be reckless with his safety.”
Arms still looped together, Roxie dropped to the couch, forcing her to sit too.
Her guy? “Zairn?”
Roxie tilted the bottle toward her. “Mm hmm.”
“I’ll get glasses.”
As much as to buy time than anything else. Leaping up, she hurried to the kitchen for a breather.
If Roxie knew, did everyone know? If they did, it would be from Darroch’s tongue, not hers. Who would share something so shameful? Someone proud of their achievement, that’s who.
So much for not a dare or a bet. Damn, talk about misjudging someone, or in this case, a whole family.
“Do you need some help?” Roxie called, reminding her she wasn’t alone.
“No, I’m good.”
Just lost in her own kitchen.
“So when I got with my guy…” Roxie’s raised voice carried like they were next to each other. “He told the whole wide world, on international television, he was in love with me, and we were going to be together forever.”
Joining her guest, she sat down. Roxie poured into the glasses she held.
“That was romantic.”
Roxie stopped pouring. “Before me. He told international television before he told me. Before we ever talked about being together, publicly, for real.”
Okay, so, wow.
“Were you mad?”
“Oh, I lost the plot. And I lost him.”
She sighed. “But you figured it out, got each other back.”
“All relationships go through turmoil.”
“You heard something about Darroch and me?”
“Yes.”
That was it? No elaboration.
“We didn’t have a squabble or disagree on whose turn it was to do a random chore. What he did…? It’s unforgivable.”
“Nothing is unforgiveable, forgiveness is a choice. The big kicker is malice. See I got so lost in rage that I didn’t see Z’s admission for what it was. He didn’t do it to hurt me, he did it because he couldn’t keep it in. He did it because he believed it. He did it because he needed me in his life. There was no malice, he was just… that in love with me.”
“Is that why you’re here?” she asked, prickling a little. “To tell me to forgive? What does it matter anyway? I’m not going to the press and I already quit my job. The Breckenridges won’t ever hear from me again.”
“Is that what you want?” Roxie put the wine bottle on the coffee table and curled her legs up beside her as she leaned against the couch arm. “To never hear from them again?”
“I appreciate you coming and…” Setting the glass on the table, she slid to the front of the couch. “I’m not in the mood to talk about it.”
“Okay, so we’ll talk about something else.” Smiling, Roxie sipped her wine and propped an elbow on the back of the couch, clearly not planning to go anywhere. “Want to hear how Zairn and I reconnected after the tour?
“I don’t—”
“It’s a sex story…” Not tempting. “Want to hear how Jane and I went on a secret mission in CollCom? Disguises and everything, real comedy caper.”
That was… “No, thank you. I’d prefer to be alone.”
“I could tell you how Lilya and her husband met.” Roxie still smiled. “He was naked at the time. At work.” Okay, that was… naked? “Want to hear how Zairn set up my secret birthday party?”
She exhaled. “Roxie, I appreciate what you—”
“Maybe you don’t want to hear the good stuff. I could tell you how I got arrested, the first and the second time.”
“You were arrested twice?”
Roxie’s fingers moved in a midair wave. “Both were in LA, I should be safe on this coast.”
“What were you arrested for?”
“Inciting a riot, I think,” Roxie said. “The first time. The next time was breaking and entering… or maybe stalking. I don’t know, Zairn took care of the details.”
“He bailed you out?”
“Yep, and I wasn’t even sleeping with him the first time. We weren’t so much bailed as released, I suppose. His people made the charges go away, for all of us. Which is something in LA because Ackley, the DA, hates him.”
“Hates Zairn? Why does he hate him?”
Now Roxie wasn’t so gleeful. “Because Ackley thinks my guy is a murderer.” Okay and now… her mouth stayed a little open and she just breathed. What the…? A murderer. “He’s not, by the way, and it upsets me when people think, or imply, otherwise.”
Yeah, ‘cause would Roxie be with him if he was capable of… Eyes still on Roxie, her hand found the glass and she raised it to her lips as she folded her own legs onto the couch at her side.
“Is that why you can’t be in LA?” she asked.
“I can be in LA. I’m in LA all the time.”
“Alice said you had someone working for Huddle Hope in California. Isn’t that because you can’t be there?”
“Roux’s in California. She’s the juggernaut behind Huddle Hope, it’s completely her baby, she deals with operations and executive decisions. I work more in recruitment and motivation.”
“It’s an amazing concept.”
“We have people all over. I’ll try to get everyone together somewhere soon. I know there’s video calls, but it’s not the same. That from someone who spends long stretches of time celibate because her guy thinks it’s okay to run his business in other countries.” The irritation was fake, Roxie’s smile soon betrayed that. “We’re becoming kind of a crowd. We have no assholes, not on the female side of the equation, I can’t vouch for all the men. You’ll get along with everyone.”
“Oh, I—I can’t be a part of… anything.”
“Why not?”
The question seemed sincere.
“Ah, well, because I… I don’t know what you know, I guess you know something… But I’m no longer affiliated with the Breckenridges.”
Didn’t that sound sterile.
“Uh huh.” Roxie was completely understanding yet blank in genuine confusion. “What does that have to do with anything? You think we were hiring you because you were boning the Breckenridge boy?”
“Oh, I wa—”
“Alice trusts you, so I trust you. And you haven’t done anything to change my opinion on that. I’ve heard about the work you do, from various sources. You have passion and determination; qualities that can’t be taught. We need someone who wants to help people. Someone with compassion, understanding—”
“Roxie, I haven’t talked to Alice…”
“Since you and Darroch broke up?”
“We didn’t—we were never—”
“Yes, you were,” Roxie said, finding her smile again. “Maybe I should finish what I was saying when I came in.”
“Finish?”
“Tripp Breckenridge is the catch-all brother. If anyone messes up, embarrasses themselves, does anything horrendous, they go to him. Tripp has never judged anyone in his life. Anyone can say anything to him, he’s never been repulsed or ashamed of anyone. He’s their priest, you know? He’s everyone’s priest, not just his brothers’.”
“Darroch talked to him?”
“I don’t know, I guess so.”
“Guess?”
“Tripp wasn’t explicit, he just hinted it might not be a bad idea to check in with you. That there may be waves in need of calming.” Wasn’t like he could do it himself. His brother would have his loyalty, as he should. “So this is me… calming.” Her lips quirked higher. “Not something I’m famed for.”
“I didn’t spend much time with Tripp.”
“You don’t have to spend a lot of time with him for him to care about you. Actually, I’m not sure he has to spend time with anyone to care about them. He and I met in the Ruby Room, Crimson, right here in New York. He’s our playboy-in-residence, ‘cept the funny thing about him is…” Roxie touched the surface of her drink with a fingertip. “In his frivolity, there’s ferocity. Tripp doesn’t go home with the hottest girl in the room to show off to his buddies. He always has his reasons. Just like he had his reasons for sending me here.” She paused, giving that a second to filter in. “You and Darroch were together?”
She couldn’t talk to any of her friends. Roxie might not be a neutral party, but she was there… with wine.
She gulped the rest of the glass, then let the glass sag to her thigh. “We flirted, messed around, we were… something. I thought we were something.”
“And now you’re through?” Roxie asked. She nodded in response, unable to look the woman in the eye. “Do you want to be through?”
“With the man I thought he was? No. Shame that’s not who he is.”
“How do you know? He fucked up? What did he do? Screw around?”
“No! God, Darroch would never—” What the hell did she know? Not the truth of him. “I thought he was someone else.”
“Guys get weird when they’re falling in love. Believe me, I’ve seen it in many crazy forms. Sometimes we act crazy too and—”
“No, I don’t mean…” Blowing out her shame, she had to do it or give up. “How are you at keeping secrets?”
“I’m the goddamn Vatican. Tripp might be a priest, I’m his Holy Father. Wooo, the things I know about that man.”
Roxie wouldn’t want to hurt the Breckenridges if Tripp was one of her best friends. And it wasn’t like the woman could hurt her, she’d quit her job, which entailed cutting off friendships. Maybe Roxie could be her one last thread of sanity. And, it turned out, a job had just sauntered up to say hello and offer itself to her.