FIFTY-THREE
THERE WAS SOMETHING to be said for familiarity. Going to Yvette’s had been kind of renewing. Iain’s trip was extended, so she ended up staying a night, then another, until a week had passed since she’d last been in her apartment. With Iain coming home that night, it was only right she gave the couple their privacy.
And, yes, she really needed to start her life over again. Sitting around forever wasn’t an option. Not for someone like her.
She got a cab back to her place and went inside reminding herself of the lessons she’d learned. If something was too good to be true it—
Darroch.
Why was Darroch Breckenridge sitting at her kitchen island with paperwork spread in front of him?
“You hungry?” he asked without lifting his head. “I haven’t eaten yet.”
How did he know she—wait. “What are you doing here?”
“Waiting for you.”
“Waiting for—I haven’t been here for a week.”
“I have. I’ve looked after the place. Nothing to report.” He tossed down his pen and went to the fridge. “Want a glass of wine?”
Like this was just any normal day. She dumped her bag and went another two steps.
“Darroch. What are you doing here?”
He closed the fridge and put the wine bottle on the counter before meeting her eye. “Waiting for you.”
“You said that. Waiting for me for… what?”
God, he was hot. And it wasn’t just the square jaw and perfect skin. No. She’d seen inside this man and believed for a minute that—what happened to those lessons learned? She hadn’t seen anything and karma didn’t owe her squat.
“To finish our conversation.”
It wasn’t like him to be serious. Where was his smile? Where was his…?
“Our conversation,” she said and immediately shook her head. “What—from the suite? No. I told you we’re not having that conversation. That conversation is finished.”
He opened the cabinet to retrieve glasses. “Cameras are being installed in every hallway, stairwell, and alley of Breckenridge property.”
“Good. If they’d been there before maybe you wouldn’t have got hurt.”
“I’m more interested in your safety.”
“I don’t work for Breckenridge.” Though she had ventured into work with Yvette and been offered her job back by Celeste. Several times. “But I’m happy its people will be safe. Thank you for letting me know.” He put the wine back in the fridge. “You can leave now. And in future, a text will suffice.”
“I texted you this week.”
More than once. “And I told you I was fine. I am fine. Everything is fine. He was denied bail.”
“I know. I was there to make sure of it.”
She wasn’t. “Okay. Whatever. Will you leave now?”
With his advance, she tensed, she wouldn’t retreat, couldn’t but… please be strong enough to hold it together.
“Nothing has changed,” he said, putting the wine in her hand.
“Everything has changed,” she whispered.
“We’re partners. We face whatever the future has for us, together.”
“The problem wasn’t the future,” she said. “It was the past I never knew we had.” Peering closer, she wanted to be in his head, to know. “How could you do that to me? How could you think behavior like that was okay?”
“I’m in love with you, Savvy.”
“Don’t,” she said, rounding him to put the glass on the kitchen island. “This isn’t like that. This isn’t one of those billionaire things where you get to demand what you want and it’s laid on a platter for you. I’m a human being. Sometimes I struggle to…”
Except he knew. Jacob knew.
“You struggle to acknowledge and trust your own worth. You don’t trust yourself or believe you deserve anything good.”
Whirling around, his proximity impacted her without taking her gusto. “How was it good that the man I wanted to make a life with lied to me? Not once or twice, but the whole time we knew each other.” Her fingertips met her hairline. “I honestly believed we—and all those times. Those times you said you’d be patient and wait for me to open up? Talk about bullshit.”
“It wasn’t bullshit,” he argued. “There’s so much more to you than those calls. Yes, I should’ve told you, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t expect to walk into that tent and—Sav, what’s between us is real, it’s undeniable. I’ve known it from the second I laid eyes on you.”
“Known what?”
“That you’re the woman I’m going to spend the rest of my life with. Dad said when you know, you know, and with you, there’s no mistaking it. You’re going to be my wife. We’re going to build a life together.”
“Don’t talk to me like that,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “Don’t talk to me like you get to make all the decisions and I should bow down and capitulate. I’m not your employee anymore, you don’t get to decide if I can pay my bills or not.”
“I never decided that.”
“But you can decide I’ll marry you?”
“I love you.”
“Life isn’t that simple. And how am I supposed to believe it? Why can’t you understand? On the phone, how many times did you tell me my feelings were valid? What about Jeremy, huh? You said his reactions diminished what I went through. That he minimized my justified feelings. What the hell do you think you’re doing right now?”
“Your feelings are justified. I fucked up and I apologize. I didn’t do what I did for kicks, I did it because I love you and I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. What would you have said? If I’d told you?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I honestly don’t, I… I let myself be vulnerable on those calls. Opening myself in a way I never would’ve with you in person.”
“And I want that side of you. I want you to give me every part of you, and never worry how I’ll respond. I’ll always be with you, Sav. It doesn’t matter what you tell me, I’ll support you in everything.”
“Then support my decision to end our relationship.”
“No,” he said with a single head shake. “I won’t give up on this. I won’t stop pursuing you or apologizing. I will stay in your life if I have to live on the damn sidewalk outside this building.”
“You can’t do that.”
“I can do whatever I damn well want. We’re partners. I belong to you and you’re mine. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove that to you.”
“Then how are you any better than him?” she asked. “Any better than the guy sitting in jail for hurting you and hunting me?”
“I would never hurt you.”
“And you have the cash to appease the cops that’s a big difference. Bet your family donates a bunch to the department.”
“Is that what you think of me?” he asked, mirroring what she’d asked him. “That I’d buy my way into abusing you?”
Pain flared in her chest. The cold hurt in his eyes might be masked by a serious brow, but she could see it. That was the man she’d thought he was, the man who’d called himself lucky on their way out for the night.
“I’m embarrassed,” she confessed in a small voice. “The things I said to Jacob on the phone…”
“You said them to me. The man who loves you and cherishes every second with you.” He captured her hand at her side. “That connection you felt, the breath you wanted on your neck—”
“Oh God.” Extracting her hand, she turned her back. And the wine was right there. Thank God for it, she gulped half and set it back down. “I was ridiculous. I am ridiculous.”
“No.”
“I can’t believe I—who falls for someone they’ve never met?”
“I fell for you the first night. We were never supposed to be at that bake-off, but I knew if I mentioned it to Mom at the breakfast table…”
Peering over her shoulder, her surprise had to be obvious. “You came to see me?”
“Yes.”
The truth. She turned back to him. “On purpose? Did your mom and Caber—”
“No. You know what my mom is like, it was foolish of me, cowardly, all I had to do was mention it and I became a passenger. She did all the work to get us there, get me to you.”
He’d felt that connection on the phone too? Even that early?
“How am I supposed to move forward knowing that?”
While she’d been making an idiot of herself with cookies and cupcakes, he’d known her secrets. And, goddamn her, but hadn’t she called Jacob back that night?
“Accept my apology and give me a list of what I have to do to fix this.”
“Every second of what we were, you were mocking me.”
“No,” he said, his hand sliding onto the island until, somehow, she was hard against it. “Every second of what we were was my reason for being. Don’t you understand, Savanna Mayden? I am your servant. Completely at your mercy. From this day until my last, I will serve your will. Whatever it takes to make you happy, I’ll do it.”
“Then go home, Darroch. I always thought I was crazy to think I could ever be a part of your world.” She licked her lips. “But it’s the other way around. Men like you don’t belong here, in my world. In this world, we grind, we live what’s real because it’s all we have. We don’t have time for games or double lives; you played a game with me, I lost. Go find someone else to play with now.”
“We’re not different. We live in the same world. And if you need me to reject the trust fund and shun my family to prove that to you—”
“I would never ask you to do that. Your family are incredible, none of this is on them.”
“Yet you’re punishing me for being a part of them.”
Was that what she was doing? “Women like me are supposed to be shit on by assholes like Jeremy.”
“You, Savanna Mayden…” he said, grazing the knuckle of his index finger down her cheek. “Were made to live your life with me. Fuck how much money anyone has or where we come from, we’ve both known from the beginning that this was different to anything we’d had before.” She should’ve switched on a light, suddenly, as he got closer, it got darker. “You’ve known it, baby, tell me you didn’t.”
How could she blame him for lying and then do it herself?
She swallowed. “I… I can’t.”
There was the smile. “You’ve been scared to admit it.”
“Different doesn’t have to mean forever.”
“That’s exactly what it means. You think any guy will ever measure up to me? Any relationship will match this?”
Could she live the rest of her life knowing she’d walked away from her only chance at happiness?
“I didn’t say thank you… When I called… when I was scared…” It didn’t feel real. Her impulse to call him at the motel was unthinking. Terrified, she’d picked up that phone and… “You came. You came to be with me.”
“Always will, Cherry. That’s the truth of who I am, that guy. The guy who would give up the world for you. No thanks necessary, it’s a given, I’ll always be by your side, I’ll always protect you.”
“You’re confusing me.”
Except when she tried to push past, he pressured her body with his, keeping her still. “I lied to you. Every time your voice came onto that phone, I wanted to tell you the truth, but I lost myself in it, in you. I’m addicted, baby, and I won’t live another day without you.”
“I can’t be with a liar.”
“What we felt, in person, and on that phone, was real, it was true. There was no lie in that. There’s no lie in our love. That’s all we need: love. And my pledge I will never lie to you again, about anything. Won’t be so much as a surprise party in your future unless they keep it from both of us, I swear.”
Oh, did he have to be goofy like that?
“I’m scared to love you.” Her heart beat hard in her quaking throat. “Ending this protects me because I can’t ever be hurt like that again. I knew I was in love with you and on that screen, on your phone, I saw those letters and… I was ready to give you everything I could, and the humiliation—”
The memory closed her eyes though he caught her chin to raise it back up. When the brush of his lips met hers, she wanted to give in. Instead, she planted a hand on his chest to push him back.
“Love me, Cherry, and I will always be your Gentleman.”
A warm tear escaped the corner of her eye. “It’s better to lose you now than let us destroy me later.”
“No,” he murmured. “Better to start forever now, than to regret losing another second of us. I love you, Sav.” He peered closer, beseeching her. “Trust that. Trust what you feel. You will never lose us. There’s nothing to fear. Nothing has the power to destroy either of us so long as we’re together.”
“Together?”
“Partners.” A word she’d got from Jacob. One he probably got from his parents. “Trust, Cherry, please.”
It was never her intention to have him beg. It was never her intention to lose him. Both men, Darroch, Jacob, what they’d felt for her was real, and what she felt in return was the same. Had fear driven him? One thing was clear, it was driving her decision to push at him.
Trust? Could she do it? Be with a man like Darroch Breckenridge? Didn’t take much consideration. Didn’t everyone make mistakes? She had to trust his heart, as he trusted hers.
“Thirty-five years isn’t a bad innings,” she whispered.
Another smile. “No, it’s not.”
“Not sure about the sixteen kids though.”
He brushed the hair from her brow. “It starts with one, we’ll go from there.” Oh, this was a big deal. “Trust me.”
“Trust you.”
“I’ve got you, baby.”
Forgiveness was a choice. Could she deny being in love with him? No. And maybe it wasn’t just about trusting him. She had to trust herself, her instinct. Every part of her burned to belong to him. They belonged to each other and forever started now.
TO BE CONTINUED…
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