10. Isaac
10
ISAAC
As tempted as I am to curl up with Tyler and let sleep take me, I need a moment to breathe. To think. To process.
The way he was acting, as sexy as it was, threw me off. It was a front, an attempt at bravado that I indulged, not just because it was hot, but because I want him to actually feel that confident. He should feel that confident. He's beautiful. Smart. Sexy. And he has a big cock for a smaller guy.Seriously. I got a pretty good idea of what he's packing when I helped him shower that first day, but I was pointedly trying not to look. It was impossible to ignore, but I put it out of my head. Every time he's gotten hard and rubbed against me, I felt the evidence. But seeing it in all its glory, wrapping my hand around it and making him come, feeling the way it thickened even more in my fist? Holy fuck.
He's the whole package, and he doesn't even realize it.
I saw the moment the bravado left him. The moment his eyes shuddered and the bad thoughts filtered in. The way his body deflated and curled in on itself before he turned and hid from me.
Was letting him use the connection between us as a distraction the right thing to do? I don't know. It's probably not healthy, and I worry that it'll bite me in the ass later. It's not that I mind being a distraction. I can't complain about the perks. The deeper we get into this relationship, if that's what it is, the harder it's going to be to hold back. I won’t say no if he needs me, but I want this thing we have to be about pleasure and joy. I want it to be about him reclaiming his sense of self, not because he wants to run from his problems.
I overheard part of his conversation with his father. And I know, without ever having heard a conversation between them, that he stood up for himself more than he ever has before. It's a great step forward, but then he took two steps back by berating himself for whatever he's feeling.
I wish I knew more of what happened between him and his date Friday night. He said he'd shown up drunk and treated him poorly. The drinking tracks with what Brenna had thought of him, and I knew he was acting douchey to everyone around him, especially the staff, but what was he saying or doing to Tyler to raise his hackles enough to lie to his father about being sick.
And why does he have to lie in the first place? Would his father pull some victim blaming bullshit if he knew Tyler was mugged? That wasn't his fault, just like his date's douchey behavior wasn't his fault.
I'm missing something, but until he feels comfortable enough to tell me, it's none of my business.
I watch him sleep for a while, listening to the cadence of his breaths until my eyes grow heavy too, and I climb in next to him. He's naked, so I pull on a pair of sleep shorts to put some fabric between us and cover us both with the blanket. I assumed we'd wake up in an hour or two to eat, but the next time I open my eyes, it's dawn.
Careful not to wake him, I begrudgingly untangle my limbs from Tyler's and sneak out of the room. I close all the doors between the bedroom and the main gym, then get to work on my morning workout routine. I haven’t done it in days and stretching out my limbs feels nice, so I lean into the yoga I do to get started. Then it's jump rope to get my blood pumping, body weight exercises, and a few rounds with a punching bag. Usually there's a run in there too, but I don't want to leave in case Tyler wakes up and finds me gone. He eventually wakes up and finds me, about twenty minutes into a heavy bag routine. His eyes are like a mood ring. The darker blue they get, the angrier, or hornier, he is. They're more green when he's feeling light and happy, or playful.
Right now, they're big, round, deep pools of navy watching me intently. They roam over my sweaty body while my chest heaves and I use a towel to wipe my face.
"Good morning," I say to break the tense silence.
"Indeed," he says, leaning back against the wall. "I can't even be mad about you leaving me in bed now."
"Is that so?" I chuckle.
" Mmm. Not when you look like that."
"You need to quit flirting before you get yourself in trouble."
"Really?" he asks incredulously. "And what kind of trouble are we talking about, because I'm very, very interested in getting into trouble."
I stalk forward, unable to keep myself away from his siren’s call. Is he even aware of what he does to me?
"Where is that shy virgin I met the other day?"
"You drowned him in the shower yesterday," he says flatly, not looking up from my chest. When I get close enough, he brushes a hand down my sternum and then thumbs over one of my nipple rings.
"Should I feel objectified?"
"Probably. Sorry, not sorry." He reaches down and adjusts himself in the sweatpants he must have pulled on when he left the bedroom.
"Fair. Because I'm not sorry that I get the same way when you put those big wire-framed glasses on," I say, leaning in to kiss him.
He rolls his eyes hard, but raises his arms to wrap around my neck. Or he tries to, but winces.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. Ribs are sore, that’s all."
I rub a hand gently up and down his left side, nodding when I have a moment of clarity where I can stop thinking with my dick. This keeps happening. I tell myself I'm going to back off, and then he's in front of me and I'm surging full steam ahead. It has to stop, especially if it's hurting him.
"Let's get you an ice pack, then switch to a heating pad for a bit. It'll help, and it'll give us a minute to talk."
"Talk?" I raise my eyebrows and nod affirmatively. "That doesn't sound good."
Chuckling, I kiss his cheek and lead him to the couch, where I get him set up with an ice pack and a towel to protect his skin from the cold while I plug my electric heating pad in to warm up.
"First of all, I want to apologize, but also not apologize at the same time."
"What does that even mean?"
"I shouldn't have done that yesterday. In the shower," I tack on slowly, in case it wasn't obvious. "Not because I didn't want to or because I have any regrets. I don't, other than you being obviously sore today."
"I'm pretty sure it was all the painting and stuff, not what happened in the shower. I can handle it. I just overdid it a little."
He sounds like my mom when she has one of her good pain days and goes wild, cleaning everything from top to bottom, doing yard work, or whatever else.
"I know you can. This isn't about what you can handle, not physically, at least."
"What are you trying to say?"
"I'm trying to say I think we should slow down. We went from zero to one hundred in one kiss, and I don't want to rush or put that kind of pressure on this thing."
"This thing?"
"Between us," I say, a little worried that it isn't obvious what I'm talking about. Does he not feel the same way? "What do you see happening here? Where would you like this to go?"
I grab a bottle of water from the fridge before taking a seat at the opposite end of the couch.
Tyler cocks his head, eyes shifting to his lap as he considers. "I'm so thankful for everything you've done for me, Isaac."
"But?" I can hear it coming a mile away.
"But I don't know. I don't want to take advantage of your kindness."
God, please do. I'm not ready for this to be over.
"You're not taking advantage if I'm freely and enthusiastically offering. I like having you here. I like you, Tyler."
He smiles at that.
"So, if you weren't worried about taking advantage of my kindness, what would you want from me? Because I feel like there's something you want but are afraid to ask for, for whatever reason."
"Because it's embarrassing."
"Well, between you and me, every time you blush, my cock twitches. Apparently, it’s a new kink of mine. So, go on…"
He laughs, but turns even redder. I fucking love it.
"Tell me, Tyler."
He takes a deep breath, looks at me, then looks away again. Finally, he settles on staring at my bare chest again.
"Will you teach me?"
"Teach you what, exactly?" Maybe we're finally broaching the subject of self-defense? I could get on board with that.
"Sex."
I choke on the water I just tried to swallow. Some of it comes out of my nose. So, not self-defense, then. Holy shit.
Tyler covers his face with his hands and groans. "I told you!"
"That's not embarrassing, I just wasn't expecting it."
"It's cringey at the very least."
"Tell that to my dick," I say, wheezing.
He lowers his hands slowly, peeking at me like he's expecting me to yell sike! and point and laugh.
"I'm pretty sure you don't have any issues getting laid. You could have anyone."
"I don't want anyone. "
"You should probably see a therapist about your altruism complex."
"I'll see one if you will."
"Shut up."
I chuckle and dodge the pillow he throws at me.
"In all seriousness, I'd be honored, but I have my own stipulations."
Tyler lifts his chin and straightens his spine. He looks like he’d be comfortable in a boardroom, ready to listen like we're going into negotiations.
"We slow down, keep your healing progression in mind. Your head seems better, and your cuts and bruises are healing nicely, but your ribs are going to need more time. Not only that, but I don't think diving into the deep end is going to do you any good. You deserve to be treated right. Enjoy your trip around the bases, if you will."
"Have I mentioned I hate sports?"
"That's okay, I'll teach you those, too."
"Alright, so we take it slow. Anything else?"
"When you're healed enough, I'd like to teach you other things. Like maybe some self-defense?"
Thankfully, he doesn't balk at the idea or take it personally like the first time I brought it up. "I think that would be a good idea, actually."
"It can't hurt, at least."
"Anything else you want to teach me?"
His eyes flash with a feisty mix of heat and teasing, and I bite the inside of my cheek. He's going to test me to my limits. I just know it. But this should be fun at least.
Getting to my knees, I slowly crawl over his body, letting my breath caress over his abdomen, chest, and neck before stopping just inches from his mouth. Then I reach over the edge of the couch, lowering my body so I'm barely holding myself above him. The bare skin of my torso soaks in the heat from his, and I'd be lying if I wasn't tempted to give in to the tension between us right now.
Instead, I grab the heating pad from where it's hanging over the side of the couch and replace the ice pack that's laying on his side. Smirking, because I can't help myself, I give him a chaste peck on the cheek and excuse myself to go take a shower.
* * *
"Oh, it looks great, sweetie. It's really coming together."
"Thanks. Still a ton to do, but it's actually starting to look like something now."
"What's next on the list, then?"
"Flooring in the main gym and back rooms."
"Where will you stay while that's being done?"
"I've got shades up in the main gym now, so I can just move the bed out there for a few nights while I'm doing the back rooms."
"I suppose that works. It'll be nice when you have that apartment done, though. You're basically a squatter at this point."
"Thanks, Ma. That's real nice."
Tyler lets out a little snort of laughter, overhearing my mom giving me shit.
"Who was that?"
"Who was what?"
"I heard a laugh, and you smiled at someone."
"I was smiling at you, Ma."
"Bullshit you were smiling at me."
Tyler covers his mouth, trying to hold in more laughter. My mother gives me the look.
Rolling my eyes dramatically, I turn the phone around, facing the screen towards Tyler, who freezes.
"Oh my God, there's a boy there! Chelsey! Come in here! Your brother has a boy over!"
"No he does not!" she yells from the background. My sister runs into the frame, smooshing her face next to Mom's. "Holy shit. OMG he's cute, too, right?"
They're trying to snicker and gossip between themselves, but they're loud enough that poor Tyler is hearing every word, wide-eyed and confused about what he's been thrown into. I give him a wink. Just wait until she asks for his phone number and starts calling him every other day to check in, too.
"Wait. Are those… candles?!"
Looking down, I realize that she's right. Tyler has laid a blanket out on the floor, thrown a few of the couch pillows down, and set out some battery operated candles. My eyes trail from the ground, to Tyler, who has now turned several shades darker red than he was a minute ago.
I end the call with barely more than a, "Gotta go, love ya," and stare back at Tyler.
"What is all this?"
"I ordered us some dinner, and I thought we'd eat it picnic style. Nothing special, really."
"And the candles?"
"Just some aesthetics."
"Are you trying to seduce me?"
"I would never."
"This looks like you're trying to seduce me."
"Full of yourself much? You were clear that we should slow down a little, and I agree with you. Mostly. This is just—" he huffs out a breath. "I wanted to say thank you. For everything."
Stepping around the setup, I wrap an arm gently around his waist and pull him in for a slow, deep kiss that makes my toes want to curl. Seriously, how can just a kiss affect me so much?
We're saved by a knock at the front door. We pull apart, and Tyler goes to get the food. When he comes back, he sets the bag in the middle of the blanket and sits on one of the couch pillows. I take the pillow opposite, watching him as he pulls out containers of something that smells delicious. I don't recognize the logo on the bag.
"It's Korean, from Seoul Garden. Bulgogi, galbi, kimchi pancakes, and kimbap," he tells me, pointing out each of the dishes he ordered. "These are all my favorites."
"It smells amazing."
We eat until we're so stuffed, all we can do is lay out on the blanket, our heads in the middle and legs out on opposite ends, looking at each other upside down. We're both lazily facing each other, laughing as I tell him some of my mom and sister's antics through the years. It strikes me how much I'd like him to meet them. How much I want to share a real, loving, supportive family with him.
When our laughter dies down, and we're too sleepy and full and happy to do anything other than stare at each other, I feel like I could live in this moment forever. Leaning in a little, I drop a light kiss on Tyler's temple, his eye, his cheekbone, his nose even though it's not injured. I just love his nose. Then his mouth. It's slow, and sweet, and perfect.
Everything around me feels like it's falling into place.
I just hope it isn't too good to be true.