Chapter 29
Sander
I have no idea where Hex is going, and frankly I don’t care. I only caught the tail end of his conversation with Astrid, but that was enough to know he’s not in his right mind. For all his faults, Hex would never intentionally be cruel. Not even to Astrid.
Hex freezes on his way out of his bedroom when he sees me standing between him and the corridor. He looks like a cornered animal, but whether he’s running toward something or from it, I won’t stop him. “San,” he says, barely making a sound.
“Is this really the person you want to be?”
He swallows, tightening his grip on the strap of his bag. “No.”
I clench my jaw as frustration makes way for sympathy.
No matter how much I want to be angry with him, I can’t.
He’s been off since coming home and has barely talked to me because his mind is somewhere else.
I hate that he won’t let me in, but I know Hex.
Whatever this is, he has to fix it himself. “You okay?”
“I will be.”
I nod once and step aside, and he slips from the room without another word.
I really hope he’s right; I’d like my brother back.
But until he figures things out, I have other things to worry about, starting with the woman in Hex’s bedroom.
I can only imagine how much Hex’s words hurt Astrid, and there’s no way for me to make it better.
Before I can think through what to say to her, she appears at Hex’s bedroom door, her expression guarded. “Sander,” she says, and it almost comes out as a question.
Curling my hands into fists, I tuck them behind my back and brace myself. This is going to hurt. “Astrid.”
Her expression shifts, softening to something that looks like a mix of pain and relief, and it kills me that I don’t know what she’s feeling. “Hex called me Storme.”
I’ve called her that plenty of times, but it’s been a while, and I’m sure Astrid has noticed. She’s telling me this because she already knows the truth; she’s just waiting for me to confirm it.
“I’m sorry,” I breathe, a tightness building in my chest.
With tears glistening in her eyes, she studies me for a long time, and I don’t hide my expressions. I want her to see everything. “This whole time,” she says, and it’s decidedly not a question.
Still, I nod.
“Was it his idea?”
“Mine.”
“Why?”
“Because he lied to you.” I wince, not liking the feel of throwing Hex to the wolves. “He agreed to help you, but he couldn’t.”
“So you lied to me.” She folds her arms.
“Yes.” I duck my head as guilt squeezes my heart. “It was the only way to make sure you weren’t left on your own.”
“Because I’m not capable of doing this on my own.” Also not a question.
Looking up in alarm, I stare at her as the hurt in her eyes fills my chest with pain.
“No,” I say, more forcefully than I mean to.
It’s sharp enough that she flinches, and I take a step back despite already standing on the other side of the room from her.
“Because you’re the only person in Candora who knows what they’re doing, and you should never have to think the world is on your shoulders alone. ”
A tear slips from her eye, and it takes everything in me not to rush to her side and pull her into my arms. I’ve never seen her cry, and I hate that things have gotten bad enough to break her.
She’s usually so strong, so Hex can’t have been the only person to tear her down tonight. “What happened?” I ask gently.
She shakes her head. “Nothing that hasn’t happened before.”
“You can tell me, Astrid.”
She sighs. “Virek thinks we’re wrong.”
“He’s thought that from the beginning.”
“This time he had some compelling arguments.” She folds her arms, eyes on the ground.
Maybe he did, and as annoying as Virek is, he’s been doing what he thinks is best with the information he has.
But that has nothing to do with the trail Astrid and I have been following.
“You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t believe you’re on to something, Astrid.
” I take a hesitant step, and when she doesn’t react, I keep moving forward until I’m at her side.
“Whatever Virek said to you, you know it isn’t because you’re wrong. ”
“But what if I am?” she whispers.
With slow deliberation, I reach out and brush a knuckle along her wet cheek. I don’t deserve to be this close to her, but there’s nowhere I’d rather be. “Then we’ll figure out where to go from here. For the record, I don’t think you’ve ever been wrong, but either way, I’ll be right beside you.”
She blinks more tears from her eyes, so much vulnerability in her expression that I ache to hold her.
And whether she reads my thoughts or wants the same thing, she steps forward and wraps her arms around me in a tight embrace.
I pull her closer, wondering if I’m ever going to have the strength to let go.
“You’re the smartest person I know,” I say as gently as I can. “You are brave, and resilient, and I’ve always admired how firmly you stand for what is right.”
“Professor Rookwood,” she whispers.
Resting my chin on her head, I hum in assent. “I was never brave enough to tell you how much I’ve admired you since that day, and I wish I had been.”
“Thank you, Sander. For everything.”
Vitte, I didn’t realize how desperately I wanted her to say my name until she did it, and I reflexively hold her tighter. I’ll have to let go soon so we can deal with the anti-royalists, but part of me wants to stay here forever. “Maybe wait to thank me until this is over. Did you break the code?”
Sniffing, she nods and pulls back to look me in the eyes. Even with her tears, she looks stronger. “They sent me a card too. I put them together to get the whole message. Two a.m. at a co-op building on Bond Street.”
“Any idea what it’s about?”
She shakes her head and takes a deep, trembling breath, like she’s searching for any sort of strength she can find but isn’t getting much. “We were told to come alone.”
“Ominous.” My tone is joking, but trepidation fills my gut at the thought.
“Not that we have backup anyway,” Astrid mutters. “They’re off trying to arrest Lord Vardane, assuming they gather enough proof before he leaves the country.”
“Leaves the country?” I frown, processing that alongside what we saw from Vardane’s wife earlier tonight. “That means he’s guilty.”
Astrid shrugs. “Or he knows he won’t be able to prove his innocence. My money’s on Lady Vardane setting him up. I just don’t know why.”
“Maybe to get his title,” I say with an uncomfortable chuckle, but then I freeze as I consider that possibility. “Wait, that could be exactly what she did.”
“But she married into the nobility.”
Running a hand through my hair, I start to pace as I sort through everything I can remember about inheritance laws in the Candoran First Charter.
I’m not as confident in the Charter as Freya, but I did a lot of research during her election campaign.
“Vardane doesn’t have any children,” I say as I pace.
“That means his title will pass to Helena.”
Lifting an eyebrow, Astrid shifts out of my way as I stalk past her. “When he dies, maybe, but—”
“It’s an archaic law and doesn’t have much precedence, but if Vardane leaves Candoran soil and there’s proof of treason against the crown, he forfeits his title.”
Astrid grabs my arm as I pass, stopping me. “Does it automatically transfer to her?”
“Yeah.”
“How convenient. But what good does that do her if she’s trying to break down the monarchy? Unless she’s somehow convinced the anti-royalists that the nobility is necessary to survival, which is unlikely, she’ll be losing that title as soon as she gets it.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Only if the antis win.”
“Right.” Pinking slightly, she shakes her head and looks down at where her fingers are still on my arm. “Which they won’t. But hypothetically…”
I study her fingers as well, wondering if she would let me hold her hand.
She was far more accepting of my lies than I expected, but that doesn’t mean she regards me any differently than she did before all of this.
“Hypothetically,” I say slowly, “if Helena Vardane has her own agenda, funding the anti-royalists is a way to facilitate it.”
“But how?” Astrid asks.
“Maybe we need to go to Bond Street to find out.”
“We’d be going in blind.”
I really don’t like that thought, but what choice do we have? We’ve been looking for answers from the start, and we haven’t… I swear under my breath as a thought hits me. “We dismissed Lady Vardane as a suspect from the start.”
Astrid cocks her head. “I know,” she says, leaving the statement open. Waiting for me to finish my thought.
“So we haven’t been paying attention to anything she said or did.
” Closing my eyes, I try to remember exactly what Lady Vardane said to me when I spoke to her at Markell’s party.
“When she was praising the monarchy, she was talking about how crucial it is for the crown to do what’s best for Candora and not bow to the whims of the people. ”
“That doesn’t explain why she gave so much money to the people.”
“I’ve never heard her talk about Freya,” I say.
My heart is picking up speed now as other bits of dialogue come to the forefront of my mind.
“She always talks about the monarchy or the crown, but never my sister specifically. At Markell’s, she said…
” I shut my eyes tighter, trying to concentrate.
“‘You’ve never been one to let others sway your opinions, Your Highness. I like that about you.’ That’s what she said to me.
” I open my eyes, curious to see what Astrid thinks of that.
She narrows her eyes, her expression thoughtful. “At Bellgaard’s dinner, you said she was talking about having a strong leader on the throne. And then at the retreat, Crowell asked you if—”
“If I ever wanted to be a king,” I finish for her, rubbing my chest as a growing tightness makes it harder to breathe. “He was so convinced that I—or Hex, technically—feel overqualified and underappreciated and want more for my life.”
“Do you think Hex does want more?”