16. Ten Years ago — Christian
SIXTEEN
TEN YEARS AGO — CHRISTIAN
“What was your first kiss like?” Adelaide asked me underneath the stars. It was the day Eomma came back from the hospital. I really hoped this was the last time she’d have to go back there. Dad invited Eda and Adelaide over for dinner as a celebration. But Eomma fell asleep right after dinner, while they were downstairs talking about adult stuff.
Adelaide and I sat on my roof, munching on her favourite BBQ chips and a copious amount of chocolate. She devoured a whole plate of chicken pot pie and still ate like she never had food. She told me she was on her period, but she said that every day.
“Hm,” I leaned back against my forearms. “It was normal.”
“Normal?” She asked incredulously.
“Normal,” I responded.
“You didn’t feel… sparks?”
I shook my head. “It was after gym class. I was sweaty, she was sweaty, she pulled me to the side after everyone went to get changed and kissed me.”
Adelaide gasped, appalled, shocked, absolutely mortified . “She just straight up kissed you? Didn’t even ask?”
Another shake of the head. “She thought I liked her and well, she liked me.”
“Did you?” Her breath hitched and I looked away.
Adelaide was slowly growing into herself. It made it harder and harder to stay on the safe side of our friendship .
“I didn’t,” I dropped my forearms. Staring right up at the night sky, I continued. “But she was embarrassed afterwards so I let it slide.”
“That’s one way to get your first kiss, I guess.”
“What about you?” Despite knowing when her first kiss was and what the outcomes were, I needed to know what she felt. “What was your first kiss like?”
“Gross,” she said without missing a beat. “Eliot stuck his tongue in me, and I almost choked on it.”
“You know the willow tree a couple of yards away from the backdoors of the school, near the yellow fire hydrant?” This story was extremely vivid, mainly because I was there when she had her first kiss. “We went there because he told me he had something to say to me during recess. Guess what? He shoved me against the wood and violated my mouth like it was food.”
Eliot Baker forced a kiss on Adelaide, and I beat the hell out of him for it. Did I get suspended for a week? Yeah. Was it worth it? Absolutely .
“But you liked him, didn’t you?” My question was harmless, but the muscles tensing beneath my skin weren’t.
Adelaide’s hair fell around us like a curtain. Her face covered the sky—or maybe—she was the sky because lately she was everywhere. “I thought I liked him. He was nice and hung out with me when you weren’t around.”
I thought about her all the time.
Funny, really. To think I didn’t want her anywhere near me a couple of years ago. Now, I didn’t want her anywhere but with me.
She half-smiled, placing her hands on top of my chest and leaned down. This was normal for her. Playing around with me like we were just friends. She was carefree, unfiltered, and damn loving.
“Kisses don’t mean much to me,” she said carelessly. I couldn’t breathe when she was this close to me. Her smell was fragrant, flowery, and entirely her .
With a voice as soft and dangerous as hers, one more word would sustain me in this moment. I’d be her slave, her servant, whatever she’d want me to be.
“You just kiss everyone then, huh?” I joked. One hand behind my head, and the other mindlessly roaming to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Not everyone,” she said in a low voice. “I haven’t kissed you yet.”
It was interesting that I couldn’t hear my heart on a regular day. I knew it was there—beating—but now it got louder, thumping against my ear, pulsing at my wrists, and entrapping my thoughts.
It was me, her, and my heartbeats.
Looking into her eyes, she gazed back. Breathing steadily, yet both of our chests were in sync, brushing against one another—finding the common space.
The urge to kiss her was intense, but I didn’t know how to do it right.
Like she could hear the thoughts in my head, Adelaide moved closer until warm air fanned against my chin.
Adelaide pressed her lips against mine.
Hands still on my chest.
One of mine on her cheek, the other on the back of my head.
I was taken aback at first. My body went into shock at the feel of her soft lips against mine. Hers were gentle, mine were stiff. My heart was going haywire at the feeling of her so entirely close to me.
Underneath the awkwardness of the kiss were two people crossing an invisible line, it was splendid— wonderful .
Adelaide’s entrancing blue eyes and velvety lips was all I could see behind closed eyes that did nothing to smother the overbearing beat in my chest.
She moved back, slightly panting.
Leaving me hanging onto the precipice of sanity because it was then, at that moment, at seventeen years old, I had an epiphany.
The kiss birthed me into existence. Before her I was nothing but an inconsistent atom, floating on earth, finding my sanctuary.
And here she was all along.
My lifeline began and ended with Adelaide.
Where she goes, I’d follow.
A moth to a flame.
Emotions to hearts.
The moon to the sun .