Chapter 35 #2
He tried to fill the ride with small talk—weather, Nimorran, family talks, mundane stuff—but I wasn’t in the mood.
I ignored him, watching the world slide by through the window as I twisted the bracelet on my wrist, until I was lost in thought.
It was the bracelet he’d paid for. I hadn’t seen him wear it since I gave him his own.
Maybe he’d lost it, maybe he’d never liked it.
I didn’t know. But I was going to keep the bracelet because it was all I had, it was the only physical proof he’d been real.
I stared down at it, and with each tiny rotation, memories pooled at the edges of my vision, and I let them in, only for a moment.
When we reached the station, I stepped out and helped him with my boxes. We carried them through the archway to the platform. I stacked them neatly near a bench before going back to pay him and purchase my ticket.
He wished me well, and I thanked him for everything.
Back at my boxes, I took the seat beside them and let out a breath that came somewhere between a sob and a laugh. People milled around—some faces I’d seen before—and as time moved, more of them filled the station.
“…So if the storm had to break, it had to break on me first. If you had to die, Nher, let it pass through me first. Do you understand?”
I shut my eyes as the memory pierced me like a blade. Not here, Sanora. Not now.
It was hard to believe that he meant those words. But I chose to believe that he did. He said he did, and through his actions, I believed that he did.
And that thought only saddened me more.
Nher.
Nher.
Nher.
I never even asked him what that nickname meant.
There were so many questions I hadn’t asked, so many truths I hadn’t told him.
If that really was the last time I would ever see him, it should have been the moment to tell him how I felt.
But I hadn’t. Because if those words left my lips, I wasn’t sure I could ever let him go.
The wave broke suddenly, and I bent forward, sobbing into my palms. My body shook as all the tears I had been damming up came flooding out. I was leaving him behind, saying goodbye after making him feel so much, after doing the same thing everyone else had done to him for centuries.
Leaving him.
But maybe he was used to goodbyes. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt him the way it was ripping me apart.
Still, it hurt. Damn, it hurt. My chest burned like it was splintering open. I cried harder, loud enough to draw stares, but I didn’t care.
“No. Because if this was me ‘catching fun,’ watching you in pain wouldn’t break me twice as hard.”
Was he breaking now? Twice as hard as I was? I wanted to know. I wanted to see it.
The sound of the train arriving cut through my sobs. I wiped at my face, bracing myself to leave everything behind in Nimorran.
When the train stopped, I stepped forward, and after the usual procedures, the crowd began boarding with their luggage.
I waited back, glancing at the archway every few seconds. I knew it was hopeless, but still, I waited. I wanted to remind myself later, when the grief swallowed me whole, that I had tried, that I had waited until the very last possible moment.
Once all my bags were loaded, I stepped out to take the handbag I’d ‘forgotten’—an excuse to wait one last minute. But when I came back out, my eyes widened. Amelia was sitting there on the bench, right next to my bag.
Surprise flickered through me, but then I remembered that her brother was leaving today as well. She must have come to see him off.
“Hey, Amelia,” I said, scanning the space for her brother. He was nowhere in sight. He must have already boarded. “How are you?”
“I feel good,” she replied, rising to her feet.
I nodded, reaching for my bag. “That’s good.”
Her eyes searched my face, frowning. “Have you been crying?”
I swallowed, shaking my head quickly before forcing out a chuckle. “It’s fine. Thank you for everything. I’ve got to leave now.”
She nodded, then spread her arms wide. “I think I deserve a little goodbye hug.” She pouted. “My brother wouldn’t give me that.”
Smiling faintly, I stepped into her embrace, patting her back the way I wished someone would do for me. But Amelia’s arms only tightened for a brief moment, and before I could pull away, a sharp sting pierced my side, liquid pouring into my veins.
Stunned, I shoved her back, clutching the side of my stomach where the needle had punctured me.
I looked down at her hand, betrayal carved across my face as she calmly pocketed the syringe, her usual sweet smile widening her lips, only now it was creepy.
Dizziness blurred my vision. I shook my head, trying to focus, but her smile only warped further. She stepped closer, and I stumbled back, hand outstretched to stop her, but the ground tilted beneath me.
I staggered.
Oh, no.
“Don’t fight it, Sanora. Just sleep.” Her voice crawled through my skull like a whispering parasite. I shut my eyes, trying to control my breath, willing the drug out. But it was useless.
I was falling.
“Catch her, twin brother,” she said. “We don’t want attention on us.”
And then I felt myself collapsing into arms I could only assume were Merton’s.
He hadn’t boarded the train.
Amelia had just injected me.
They had schemed against me.
They’d played me nicely.
For what?
Why were they doing this?
Why?
Who sent them?
My mind broke apart, and I surrendered to the wave pulling me under.